The Krista and Steve Editing Disagreement Room

[wildone]

So back when we had chat, Krista and I would use it only for meaningful discussion of topics relating to stories

 

Actually, since I look over her chapters, and I point out things I see to her, she is usually receptive to my suggestions to change certain things

 

Occasionally, she gets in a Kentucky Woman stubborn attitude and we disagree about something. In those cases, we always turned to chat to ask all the participants who is right and who is wrong It isn't a competition though

 

Now we are faced with this line she has put in her recent chapter:

 

Quote

 

“No,” Mom answered and I knew she was lying as soon as the o carried longer than it should have.
 

 

 

I mentioned that the way it is written, it makes sense, but the o standing by itself is distracting and interrupts the reading and makes me go over and over again wondering what spelling error she made or what she meant to say.

 

She agreed and then suggested putting it as "o". I suggested 'o' as the " usually denotes conversation/dialogue. She agreed.

 

Now, here is the question, are we right that it should be 'o' , or should it be 'O'?

 

If both of us are completely wrong, let us know.

 

[Krista]

I have a feeling, that for this one minor detail...  that you are more correct than I am. But I honestly don't know how that is supposed to look in writing. I can't think of any references. 

 

Oh.. and this little tongue-in-cheek room can be just a place for direct editing questions that maybe editors and authors alike can ask one another for input on. Me and Steve don't really argue enough for an entire thread dedication... not about writing anyway.

Edited June 16, 2017 by Krista
To add to what I was saying..

[MJ85]

I have no idea either way, though I would have also done this:

 

Quote

“No,” Mom answered - and I knew she was lying as soon as the o carried longer than it should have.

 

Because when I read that line in my head, "Mom answered and I knew she was lying as soon as the o carried longer than it should have" sounds run-on to me without any other punctuation.

 

*scurries away to be non-helpful elsewhere*

[Valkyrie]

11 hours ago, wildone said:

“No,” Mom answered and I knew she was lying as soon as the o carried longer than it should have.

 

I would write it like this:

 

"No," Mom answered, and I knew she was lying as soon as the 'o' carried longer than it should have. 

 

 

[JayT]

Quote

“No,” Mom answered and I knew she was lying as soon as the 'o' carried longer than it should have.

this is the correct  way to punctuate this...you could always do

"No," Mom answered. I knew she was lying as soon the 'o' carried on longer than it should.

Edited June 16, 2017 by JayT

[Timothy M.]

I would probably have suggested

 

“No,” Mom answered and I knew she was lying as soon as the oo-sound carried longer than it should have.

 

But I think the 'o' version is probably the best way.

[Valkyrie]

1 minute ago, Timothy M. said:

I would probably have suggested

 

“No,” Mom answered and I knew she was lying as soon as the oo-sound carried longer than it should have.

 

But I think the 'o' version is probably the best way.

oo is a different sound than 'o'.  It makes the same sound as in 'boo' vs 'o' which sounds like 'oh'.  

[Timothy M.]

8 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

oo is a different sound than 'o'.  It makes the same sound as in 'boo' vs 'o' which sounds like 'oh'.  

 

I didn't think of that. I only meant to convey a long o.

 

In addition, o and oo would sound the same in Danish except the oo would show you're prolonging the sound (as I don't think we have any words with double o).

Edited June 16, 2017 by Timothy M.

[Valkyrie]

Just now, Timothy M. said:

 

I didn't think of that. I only meant to convey a long o.

I'm a speech therapist... sounds are my job   lol  

[wildone]

Well, Krista has gone away for the weekend It is interesting how different people see it being written. I too thought of the oo, but that then drew me to think was she trying to put too in there.

 

[Arpeggio]

I'll side with the person who treats me best. =3

[Hunter Thomson]

2 hours ago, Arpeggio said:

I'll side with the person who treats me best. =3

 

-pets Lacey-

[AC Benus]

For what it's worth, I like:

 

"No," Mom answered, and I knew she was lying as soon as the 'o' carried longer than it should have. 

 

But I'm more sight orientated and want the reader to know the sound was long before having it confirmed via a statement; the old show vs tell approach

 

How about:

 

"Nooo," Mom answered, and I knew she was lying as soon as the 'o' carried longer than it should have. 

 

(The italics are not necessary, but I like to put sounds in them, and here it's more the sound of the word than the actual word that the reader needs to hear [as opposed to read].)

 

 

[MJ85]

Yeah...I utilized an em dash instead of an additional comma above because I am prone to using commas where natural pauses would be. The issue with this is that it often looks like I am over-using commas. Granted, that is no big deal with just the one sentence, but I'm thinking of the larger whole.

[wildone]

So here we are again

 

In Krista's latest chapter, she has this sentence:

 

Quote

For some reason compliments that I heard my whole life from everyone else only made me blush and feel funny coming from him.

 

It doesn't work from me, it is like there is no subject in the sentence, or maybe it is there is two; everyone else AND him.

 

I understand what she is saying, but my suggestions are being vetoed

 

Help!

[JayT]

2 minutes ago, wildone said:

So here we are again

 

In Krista's latest chapter, she has this sentence:

 

 

It doesn't work from me, it is like there is no subject in the sentence, or maybe it is there is two; everyone else AND him.

 

I understand what she is saying, but my suggestions are being vetoed

 

Help!

The subjects are the compliments. However it does need some punctuation and a few other tweaks. 

For some reason, compliments that I've heard my whole life from everyone else only make be blush and feel funny coming from him.

[Krista]

2 minutes ago, JayT said:

The subjects are the compliments. However it does need some punctuation and a few other tweaks. 

For some reason, compliments that I've heard my whole life from everyone else only make be blush and feel funny coming from him.

 

I like that. 

[JayT]

Just now, Krista said:

 

I like that. 

Thank you! It simplifies the sentence by making it less wordy but still conveys the same meaning. I've been told many times by tim that I tend to write using too many words, so that's something I'm trying to work on. 

[Kitt]

Lol you learn fast Jay!

[JayT]

1 minute ago, Kitt said:

Lol you learn fast Jay!

I can edit other people's work with no problem. I just can't see my own mistakes. I've never been able to. 

[wildone]

And this is the reason why I don't consider myself an editor

 

This is what I suggested

 

Quote

For some reason compliments I heard my whole life, from everyone else, only made me blush and felt funny coming from him now.

 

[Krista]

5 minutes ago, wildone said:

And this is the reason why I don't consider myself an editor

 

This is what I suggested

 

 

 

If it wasn't for you though, my dear, I wouldn't be writing or posting at all.  

[Parker Owens]

On 6/19/2017 at 10:16 PM, AC Benus said:

For what it's worth, I like:

 

"No," Mom answered, and I knew she was lying as soon as the 'o' carried longer than it should have. 

 

But I'm more sight orientated and want the reader to know the sound was long before having it confirmed via a statement; the old show vs tell approach

 

How about:

 

"Nooo," Mom answered, and I knew she was lying as soon as the 'o' carried longer than it should have. 

 

(The italics are not necessary, but I like to put sounds in them, and here it's more the sound of the word than the actual word that the reader needs to hear [as opposed to read].)

 

 

 

I rather like this approach, if I can venture a comment. 

[Krista]

18 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

 

I rather like this approach, if I can venture a comment. 

 

I do as well - and for some reason I totally overlooked it in the topic before.. so thanks for bringing it up! I will try to commit that approach to memory. 

[Benji]

.....................Only Wildone and Krista could create a debate on an o!