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    Parker Owens
  • Parker Owens
  • Author
  • 07/03/2018
  • 77 Words
  • 1,712 Views
  • 10 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Disasters, Delights and Other Detours - 25. Sapphic Dawn

I am grateful to Northie for suggesting this form. I know it isn't perfect, but I can only say in my defense that I was up far too early getting inspiration. If it grates, at least it has the merit of being short.

Dawn upon the eastern horizon growing,
bathing birch and tamarack, redly glowing,
over marsh and mountainside, new light showing,
waking the meadow;

Torn the long night's circumspect silent shadow,
sweet the notes first sounded with great bravado,
echoes now the hopeful white throated sparrow,
calling his soul mate;

"Hey, Sam, Hey Sam Peabody," sung with slow weight,
outsized heart cry mournfully fills the lea gate,
that with daylight one speckled bird may locate
ardor o'erflowing.

As always, I value your thoughts and reactions.
Copyright © 2017 Parker Owens; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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northie

How different your ode is to mine ... It is beautiful, summoning up the dawn that you seek to praise with clarity. Nature as always, is there in all its glory.  :)

 

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Headstall

I love it, and I love the cadence of this form. You have captured some of the magic of dawn, Parker, and this line I found brilliant and perfect... "Torn the long night's circumspect silent shadow,"  ... so much said in this line. Your poetry(other than the math stuff :P ) always connects with me. Aside from your obvious skill, part of the reason may be our mutual love of the natural world, and the little joys.. the aching beauty... we find in life.  Thank you... cheers... Gary....

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Parker Owens
18 minutes ago, northie said:

How different your ode is to mine ... It is beautiful, summoning up the dawn that you seek to praise with clarity. Nature as always, is there in all its glory.  :)

 

 

Thank you, dear XQ. I appreciate your inspiration. Imposing rhyme on this made it harder to compose than I supposed it would. And it was a glorious dawn...

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Parker Owens
5 minutes ago, Headstall said:

I love it, and I love the cadence of this form. You have captured some of the magic of dawn, Parker, and this line I found brilliant and perfect... "Torn the long night's circumspect silent shadow,"  ... so much said in this line. Your poetry(other than the math stuff :P ) always connects with me. Aside from your obvious skill, part of the reason may be our mutual love of the natural world, and the little joys.. the aching beauty... we find in life.  Thank you... cheers... Gary....

 

Gary, you are so very kind. This form was hard to write in - much more so than I suspected it might be. You’re right in that we both find a deep well of inspiration in nature. A midsummer’s dawn could not help but draw forth awe and a desire to write. 

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northie
4 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

Imposing rhyme on this

My explanation of Sapphic odes from YeahWrite specifically mentioned there was no rhyme scheme. Perhaps you're making your life harder than it is already ...  ;)

 

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Valkyrie
  • Site Administrator

I think Northie is right.  You are your own worst critic ;) This is lovely.  I can picture everything clearly and hear the birdsong.  It has a classic feel to it.  Nicely done.  :) 

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Parker Owens
2 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

I think Northie is right.  You are your own worst critic ;) This is lovely.  I can picture everything clearly and hear the birdsong.  It has a classic feel to it.  Nicely done.  :) 

 

Aren’t we all our own worst critics? I am glad the images come through to you in this poem. It was an unforgettable morning. 

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Valkyrie
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1 minute ago, Parker Owens said:

 

Aren’t we all our own worst critics? I am glad the images come through to you in this poem. It was an unforgettable morning. 

:yes: we are ;)  

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dughlas

I saw this dawning just a day or so past but words failed to come to describe what I saw and felt. Perhaps because you had already caught and set them to form. Lovely.

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Parker Owens
9 minutes ago, dughlas said:

I saw this dawning just a day or so past but words failed to come to describe what I saw and felt. Perhaps because you had already caught and set them to form. Lovely.

 

If these are the words meant for you at that dawn, then I return them to you gratefully. The dawn and the song of the white throated sparrow were great blessings to be savored, as are your kind thoughts. Thank you.

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