Disasters, Delights and Other Detours - 1. Two First Sonnets

both lovely .. both have rot.. interesting

No matter your intent, I couldn't help seeing Foolishness as a metaphor for a relationship you always knew couldn't stand up to life's trials. I know that feeling, and the determination to ignore the signs while knowing... another one to hit home. Superb, Parker  

Sailor's Lament works extremely well. Life gets in the way, and we can't devote ourselves to what we really want... we leave our sailor twisting as we stay grounded, taking care of the lamented responsibilities. 

I weep, for fate my absence must extend
the dull and weary work that is my lot;
such labor shuts out kindred, foe and friend,
all intimate connections left to rot,
without an opportunity to mend
our hopelessly unraveled lover's knot.

The last line is perfection... great beginnings to your new collection, Parker... cheers... Gary.... 

1 hour ago, Mikiesboy said:

both lovely .. both have rot.. interesting

You noticed they both have decay as a theme. Thanks for getting that. I wasn't sure anyone would. And I am glad you found them to be interesting. Thanks always for reading!

1 hour ago, Headstall said:

No matter your intent, I couldn't help seeing Foolishness as a metaphor for a relationship you always knew couldn't stand up to life's trials. I know that feeling, and the determination to ignore the signs while knowing... another one to hit home. Superb, Parker  

 

Sailor's Lament works extremely well. Life gets in the way, and we can't devote ourselves to what we really want... we leave our sailor twisting as we stay grounded, taking care of the lamented responsibilities. 

 

I weep, for fate my absence must extend
the dull and weary work that is my lot;
such labor shuts out kindred, foe and friend,
all intimate connections left to rot,
without an opportunity to mend
our hopelessly unraveled lover's knot.

 

The last line is perfection... great beginnings to your new collection, Parker... cheers... Gary.... 

 Thank you, Gary. These two are definitely sonnets for the ending of summer, before the school year closes in around me and makes it impossible to think beyond the next bell. The Sailor's Lament is a kind of metaphor in that, too. I did blush when you said the last line is perfection. That's very kind of you. You nailed my own understanding of Foolishness, too. One can pin one's hopes on such fragile structures, but they are surely destined to crumple. I hope you think these were a good start to a new book.

47 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

I enjoyed them both, but the first one really speaks to me.  It's nice to see you post a new collection.  These do not disappoint. 

I am glad you liked these. I hope you think them worthy of a new collection - and that you'll be back!

A fairy tale castle of tissue paper built upon such impermanence. A case of letting hopes and dreams run before sound judgement.

I like others found something deep within "our hopelessly unraveled lover's knot". What a wonderfully concise restatement of all that comes before it.

Apparently the end of summer has brought rot to mind. Might this be a subliminal fear of zombified brains returning with your students?

37 minutes ago, dughlas said:

A fairy tale castle of tissue paper built upon such impermanence. A case of letting hopes and dreams run before sound judgement.

I like others found something deep within "our hopelessly unraveled lover's knot". What a wonderfully concise restatement of all that comes before it.

Apparently the end of summer has brought rot to mind. Might this be a subliminal fear of zombified brains returning with your students?

A certain amount of summer brain rot - one can politely call it 'regression' I suppose - is inevitable. Perhaps I am channeling that, or the waning  of the garden. In any case, thank you for reading these, and for your comments. The lover's knot is an actual nautical knot, I believe. Difficult to tie, and harder to re-tie. 

I'm struck by the concept of building a castle "on the finest sand." Not any old unsuitable substrate, but some carefully cultivated conceit not meant to even serve a temporary foundation. It's like even 'from the ground up,' the construction was never meant to last. 

The second sonnet is really striking for the flow and beauty of images. 

Hugs and thanks for posting these. 

all intimate connections left to rot

Metaphors, metaphors, more metaphors

A feast delectable for the crows

These are wonderful, Parker!

11 hours ago, AC Benus said:

I'm struck by the concept of building a castle "on the finest sand." Not any old unsuitable substrate, but some carefully cultivated conceit not meant to even serve a temporary foundation. It's like even 'from the ground up,' the construction was never meant to last. 

 

The second sonnet is really striking for the flow and beauty of images. 

 

Hugs and thanks for posting these. 

Thank you for picking up on that. One of the things that prompted that line was my mom's memory of a World's Fair - nearly all the structures were intended to be torn down afterwards. And, of course, there is the biblical reference. How often we build something for temporary use, only to fall in love with it. 

Sailor's Lament languished a long time unfinished, until one day I looked at it and all the lines flowed out as naturally as if I had sung it out from sheet music. Funny how that works. And he is still waiting on the shore...

Thanks again for your lovely and supportive comments. 

6 hours ago, asamvav111 said:

all intimate connections left to rot

 

Metaphors, metaphors, more metaphors

A feast delectable for the crows

The metaphors pile up so fast, the carrion birds don't know what to make of the wealth. Hope you had fun sifting through them. Thank you for reading these! 

5 hours ago, WolfM said:

These are wonderful, Parker!

Thank you, Wolf. I am glad you liked them. 

A wonderful beginning to the collection Parker. Both wondrous.. Sailor's Lament...Hmm...that one, I'm drawn to.. 

6 hours ago, Defiance19 said:

A wonderful beginning to the collection Parker. Both wondrous.. Sailor's Lament...Hmm...that one, I'm drawn to.. 

Yes, I am drawn to that one, too. It took several tries to get it to start right, as there were a number of false beginnings and dreadful rhyme traps. But once it started, it poured right out...thanks very much for reading these, and for your comments.

Sailor's Lament, deftly done.  Thank you for these.

v

1 hour ago, MCVT said:

Sailor's Lament, deftly done.  Thank you for these.

v

You’re most welcome. Thank you very much.