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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Disasters, Delights and Other Detours - 94. Inventions

These were written in a wholly new metrical and rhyming pattern. These inventions might actually work, who knows?

One

 

Open now

that yellowed book, oft desecrated

by the fools who read its verses

and avow

its text and meaning so conflated

with their bigotries and curses;

in your search belated

find Love which in all immerses,

equal in each heart it nurses

any it sees mated,

asking neither why nor how,

simply wholeness to allow.

 

 

Two

 

Come to me,

and let me hold your hesitation

like a precious new-born creature

on bent knee,

while our mutual celebration

makes us one another’s teacher

in the night’s elation:

banish now the two-faced preacher,

television’s spouting feature

from all cogitation;

lovers on our own are we

so I give myself to thee.

 


You can let me know if these inventions in this unusual rhyme and metrical scheme work. Whatever comment or response you may have, know that I am grateful for anything you might have to say.
Copyright © 2017 Parker Owens; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Oh, yeah, these work, and work well. I liked the rhyming schemes very much and found the poems as a whole, fluid. Beautiful poetry with powerful messaging. Just about what I've come to expect from you, Parker. I'm still waiting for my poetic fire to reignite, but meanwhile, I have such as these to ruminate over and enjoy. Cheers!

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13 minutes ago, Headstall said:

Oh, yeah, these work, and work well. I liked the rhyming schemes very much and found the poems as a whole, fluid. Beautiful poetry with powerful messaging. Just about what I've come to expect from you, Parker. I'm still waiting for my poetic fire to reignite, but meanwhile, I have such as these to ruminate over and enjoy. Cheers!

I’m so very glad you think the rhyme schemes and rhythms work. Your comments are wonderfully encouraging. Thank you! 

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They work. While the image doesn't quite fit the words I visualize these as a dance. Oddly, when I read them aloud their flow was more stilted, like someone dancing an unknown step but when read silently the dancer was much more confident and moved fluidly. If I had first read them aloud I would say it was my own familiarity. However, as is my usual practice, I read them silently at first and then aloud, then because of my odd sense again silently. The image held though I am at a loss as to why. Nonetheless, I think your experiment a success. 

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I forgot to ask is this your own or a style you encountered elsewhere.

Edited by dughlas
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16 minutes ago, dughlas said:

They work. While the image doesn't quite fit the words I visualize these as a dance. Oddly, when I read them aloud their flow was more stilted, like someone dancing an unknown step but when read silently the dancer was much more confident and moved fluidly. If I had first read them aloud I would say it was my own familiarity. However, as is my usual practice, I read them silently at first and then aloud, then because of my odd sense again silently. The image held though I am at a loss as to why. Nonetheless, I think your experiment a success. 

 

16 minutes ago, dughlas said:

I forgot to ask is this your own or a style you encountered elsewhere.

This form is my own invention, and I wasn’t at all sure what readers would think. Your comments are encouraging, though there may be enough changes in line length and rhythm to make me pause, if you found them distracting. The idea of a dance is intriguing. Thanks for letting me know your thoughts. I’m grateful you read these. 

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31 minutes ago, Geron Kees said:

Rings nicely in the ear. And the meaning of these two ring just as loudly, and clearly. :)

I’m glad these resonate in your ear. I was apprehensive about them. Thank you very much for reading these, and for considering them. 

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On 8/17/2021 at 4:38 PM, Parker Owens said:

 

This form is my own invention, and I wasn’t at all sure what readers would think. Your comments are encouraging, though there may be enough changes in line length and rhythm to make me pause, if you found them distracting. The idea of a dance is intriguing. Thanks for letting me know your thoughts. I’m grateful you read these. 

I wouldn't say they were distracting, more just a case of different rythm. I think you should continue the experiment 

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16 minutes ago, dughlas said:

I wouldn't say they were distracting, more just a case of different rythm. I think you should continue the experiment 

I will continue, and the search is on for suitable rhyme words. 

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I liked this form a lot.  I liked the rhythm changes - they reminded me of Poe.  

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1 hour ago, Valkyrie said:

I liked this form a lot.  I liked the rhythm changes - they reminded me of Poe.  

It’s heartening to know this invented form has found a receptive ear. Now I shall have to renew my acquaintance with Edgar Allen as a poet. I’m very grateful you took time to read these and to respond to them. 

 

 

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