Disasters, Delights and Other Detours - 43. Twitch: a Pantoum

i can't speak to the form, but the poem itself is extraordinary. 

Thank you, Mac. What you say means a great deal to me. 

Wow. Powerful stuff, superbly written. The chord it struck with me is quite personal. 

I know nothing of the form, but the words speak volumes.

26 minutes ago, Headstall said:

Wow. Powerful stuff, superbly written. The chord it struck with me is quite personal. 

It’s not an easy form to write, for part of each stanza has to form lines in the next. If this one struck a chord with you, then I’m very glad. 

21 minutes ago, dughlas said:

I know nothing of the form, but the words speak volumes.

You’re very kind to read and comment on this, Dugh. I’m very grateful. 

This is wonderful. I don't know anything about this form, but I really enjoy the style.

@WolfMThank you, Wolf. You’re very kind to comment, and to read this. I’m very grateful. 

Really nice.

The modern pantoum is a poem of any length, composed of four-line stanzas in which the second and fourth lines of each stanza serve as the first and third lines of the next stanza. The last line of a pantoum is often the same as the first.

i wrote one april 21 2018 ..  i enjoyed it was a great challenge.  Yours is quite meaningful to me.  Thanks Parker.

These French forms, heavily dependent on lines of refrain, always leave me at a bit of a loss in English. Perhaps only light and trivial, songlike motifs are best in this language, but then, reading Ballades in French by François Villon, his scope is breathtaking. So, there's this tension I feel; halfway to admiration for forms like pantoums and sestinas, and in no way knowing where to turn for examples in our flawed tongue to bring out their potential. I think only masters of metre of Poe and Dr. Seuss could have shown us the way, but as far as I know, they did not take up the challenge. 

That being said, I think your poem is admirable. The progress of the refrain lines through the succeeding stanzas is engaging, and makes me think. Well done

3 hours ago, Mikiesboy said:

Really nice.

The modern pantoum is a poem of any length, composed of four-line stanzas in which the second and fourth lines of each stanza serve as the first and third lines of the next stanza. The last line of a pantoum is often the same as the first.

i wrote one april 21 2018 ..  i enjoyed it was a great challenge.  Yours is quite meaningful to me.  Thanks Parker.

I’m glad you liked this. This is a tough challenge, but it took on more and more significance as I wrote it, as if the poem itself drew on my thoughts in its being set to paper. Thanks for reading this, and for responding. 

1 hour ago, AC Benus said:

These French forms, heavily dependent on lines of refrain, always leave me at a bit of a loss in English. Perhaps only light and trivial, songlike motifs are best in this language, but then, reading Ballades in French by François Villon, his scope is breathtaking. So, there's this tension I feel; halfway to admiration for forms like pantoums and sestinas, and in no way knowing where to turn for examples in our flawed tongue to bring out their potential. I think only masters of metre of Poe and Dr. Seuss could have shown us the way, but as far as I know, they did not take up the challenge. 

 

That being said, I think your poem is admirable. The progress of the refrain lines through the succeeding stanzas is engaging, and makes me think. Well done

 

Thank you for reading through this and for your kind, generous and interesting comments. The history of these forms is almost as fascinating as writing for them. It’s worth trying more of these. 

I really like the form of the pantoum and I you made an amazing one. Thank you for sharing. 🙂

3 hours ago, Lyssa said:

I really like the form of the pantoum and I you made an amazing one. Thank you for sharing. 🙂

Thank you very much, both for your kind words and for reading this. The form grows on one, doesn’t it? Definitely worth doing more of them. 

I don’t think I have seen the form before. (Thanks to Mikesboy for the explanation). I can see it must be quite a challenge to put together and avoid the repeating lines seeming trite. I was really struck by the way the impact of the lines were different on the repeat. Truly impressive.

I never really got the point of poetry when I had to study it for a short while at school, but you have caught my interest with your interlocked rubaiyats, your delightful bird poems and now this. Thank you so much.

2 hours ago, Pedro1954 said:

I don’t think I have seen the form before. (Thanks to Mikesboy for the explanation). I can see it must be quite a challenge to put together and avoid the repeating lines seeming trite. I was really struck by the way the impact of the lines were different on the repeat. Truly impressive.

 

I never really got the point of poetry when I had to study it for a short while at school, but you have caught my interest with your interlocked rubaiyats, your delightful bird poems and now this. Thank you so much.

@Mikiesboy deserves my thanks for outlining the basics of the Pantoum. @AC Benus is posting a series of poetry prompts which walks an interested participant through a number of different forms. I’d urge you to try those prompts; they really help. Writing led me to reading poetry again, but with a different eye. 

Thanks very much for reading these, and for your kind comments. I’m very grateful.