Life Goes On - 39. New Friends – Then Tragedy

1983 – 1988

PT happily returned to his summer job at County Feed and Seed. He had various bosses as he was assigned one day to deliveries and the following working in the warehouse. David had been promoted to Assistant Store Manager which included being responsible for inventory in the warehouse. Consequently when PT worked in the warehouse his boss was his lover, David. While they were very professional at work they enjoyed roleplaying boss / employee scenarios at home.

Most Sundays David attended their small country church with his parents. A high school friend of his father attended when he was in the area. Paul, his father, and Drew Kitchner had been best buddies in their small high school class. After graduation Drew went off to college while Paul stayed home on the farm. Drew was an only child and his father assumed he would take over the family farm. Drew had other plans and after receiving his undergraduate degree he attended law school. A brilliant and ambitious young man, today at the age of 43 he was a partner in a prestigious Cleveland law firm. Because of concerns about his father’s health Drew visits became more frequent. He had discussed these concerns with Paul and one Sunday in the fall of 1984 Drew told Paul, “I am getting more concerned about my father’s ability to continue managing the farm. Luckily my mom’s health is good but she cannot oversee the farm. She is very worried about my father. Not only is he not able to do heavy work he is also very forgetful. While they made it through the summer I doubt my dad can handle the rigors of another summer. Luckily with the approaching winter his work on the farm has decreased. While the logical solution would be for him to sell the farm and retire I know neither he nor mom would be happy anyplace but there.”

Paul sympathetically listened to his friend’s concerns. He then had a suggestion, “My son David works full time at County Feed and Seed. While he works long hours in the spring and summer he has a shortened schedule in the fall and winter. I am sure he would be willing to help your father the next few months.” At that moment Pricilla Miers was flirting with David nearby. While Paul and his wife had accepted the fact that David had no interest in girls, they were not aware of his strong feelings toward men and especially his friend, David. Much to David’s relief he was forced to excuse himself from Priscilla as his father called him over to talk to Drew. The three discussed Drew’s concerns about his father’s ability to manage the farm. When David offered to help Drew insisted that he would pay David out of his own pocket as he did not want his father to know David was being paid to help run the farm. The concern of all was how the father would be approached about having a young man help him. When Drew mentioned he was taking his parents to lunch at Smithville Inn David had a suggestion. “Why don’t you invite me to join you? Tell your dad that I hope to own a farm someday and would like to get advice from an experienced farmer.”

The old man, Solomon Kirchner, was flattered that someone would want his advice and after lunch invited him to visit the farm. David’s short visits turned into afternoons and some all day sessions. When PT visited, they would both work on the farm.

While the short term problem had been solved, Drew and David realized more help would be needed as the farm activities increased at the end of winter. While the farm would need more help David would have less time as the work schedule at County Feed and Seed would buildup. Solomon’s health had deteriorated and he would need full time help as soon as the snow melted and spring planting began. Others in the small farming community were aware of the situation and one Sunday Drew was approached after church by a neighbor farmer, Isaac. He told Drew that his best friend in the Army had recently moved to the area. His friend had grown up on a farm in Kentucky and was now working at the Rubbermaid factory in Wooster and really wanted to get back into farm work.

The following Saturday Drew, Isaac, David and his father, Paul, met Darren Gunthrie at David’s home, for a preliminary interview. If they all agreed Darren would be a good fit for the job they would take him on a tour of the farm and introduce him to Solomon.

Darren’s Story: “If you are going to let me into the home of your parents you should know my life story, both good and bad parts. I grew up on as small farm in Kentucky. To say that we were dirt poor would be an understatement. While my dad was not much of a farmer he was known for his moonshine that he bottled, sold and consumed himself daily. I have a brother a year old and sister two years younger. Our parents were not the loving type and were both known for harsh punishment, my dad with a belt and mom with her screaming. My happiest times were away from home: playing in the woods, fishing, going to school and church. My dad was especially hard on my younger sister, Sally. I remember when she was about 12 years old she did not do one of her many assigned chores to my dad’s satisfaction. He took her into the back room and I could hear him spanking her hard with his hand, not using the belt he usually used on my brother and me. The louder she cried the harder he spanked. When it was over he came out of the room and I saw a bulge and wet spot on his crotch. While at fourteen the only sex education I had received was from other boys while we messed around behind the barn I realized my father had shot his load while spanking my little sister. I went into the room to console her. She was lying on the floor, her panties around her knees and dress pushed up. Her rear end was bleeding from the abuse. I held her as she cried. My mother came into the room and yelled at her for not doing her chores telling her she deserved whatever she got and yelled at me as I should have been doing chores. That night my fifteen year old brother, Sally and I had a long talk. The next morning my brother and I found our dad working at his moonshine still. We told him that if he ever touched our sister again we would contact the Feds and tell them about his moonshine. If he touched her a second time we would kill him. With a leer on his face my brother told him we would drag him to the creek and hold his head underwater until he was as dead as he deserved to be. When he was found it would be assumed that the drunk old man had fallen in and drowned. While he never touched any of us again the yelling and emotional abuse never stopped.”

“It became an ‘us against them situation’, the children against the parents. We supported each other and Sally and I were both sad and happy when brother enlisted in the marines and departed the day after he graduated from high school. We were sad that we were losing our brother and happy that he was getting away. Prior to his departure he took my father aside warning him that just because he was leaving he would still defend his brother and sister. At that time Sally was dating a twenty-two year old boy who had a good job working as a mechanic at the Chevy dealership. In April, the day of her sixteenth birthday, there was no party, no presents at home. That evening Sally and I took my drunk dad’s truck into town and celebrated her birthday at the Huddle House. I had invited her boyfriend, Ace, to join us. She then told me her plans. She and Ace were going to get married soon and then move in with his parents. While I felt Sally was too young at sixteen to marry I was also relieved that she would get out of that house. I knew Ace and his parents from church and realized she would finally have a loving mother. When I questioned how a sixteen year old could get married without her parents’ permission they explained that in Kentucky a pregnant girl did not need the parents’ permission to marry. Then with a smile on her face my little sister told me that in six months I would be an uncle. Ace told me that his parents knew she was pregnant and were looking forward to their first grandchild. They were planning a simple wedding in three weeks. I would not have left the family home as long as my Sally lived there. In a way her marriage gave me the freedom to move out. I enlisted in the Army and departed for basic training a week after high school graduation. While I was in the army Sally wrote frequently. She told me Ace was a wonderful, tender, caring husband and that her in-laws were the parents she never had. Now with two children and a home of their own they live just down the street from Ace’s parents. She got her GED (General Education Degree, a high school diploma received by passing a State test for those who did not finish school) and is taking courses at the community college while her mother-in-law cares for the children.”

“The army sent me to Korea where I was given a desk job. A young Korean woman Ji-Woo was assigned to us as an interpreter. To make a long complicated story short I fell in love with her the first time I saw this beautiful, charming and intelligent woman. While the army has rules about relationships with civilians in foreign countries we overcame the hurdles and got married. Our first son, Tommy, was born in Korea.”

“Upon discharge from the army I returned to my hometown in Kentucky with Ji and our son, but not home with my parents. I got a job as a farm hand at a large commercial farm where the two crops were soybeans and corn primarily sold as feed to the chicken industry. Within six months I was second in charge after the owner. Our small home was about a mile from my parents’ home. We rarely saw them. My mother would refer to Ji as ‘that jap whore’. Since my wife is Korean not Japanese, holds a master’s degree from Seoul National University and has a better command of the English language than my mother these comments were not only hurtful but made my mother look ridiculous and proved she was a vile woman. Ji soon got involved in community activities. Having grown up in the Korean Methodist Church she easily adapted to ‘church’ life teaching Sunday school and joining a Bible study group. She and my sister became best friends and shared child care. Soon our second son, Josh, was born. As you would say, ‘Life was good’.”

“Then the tragedy. When I returned from work one day I saw my father’s old rusty pick-up truck parked in our driveway. Since we rarely had contact with my parents this seemed unusual. When I opened the door I heard shrieks coming from the kitchen. There to my horror was my father with his pants down to his knees holding Ji against the kitchen table. Her dress was pushed up as he fought with her. I grabbed him, pulled him back and connected my fist to his face. He just laughed as he pulled up his pants and ran out yelling, ‘she’s just a jap whore. I’ll send you $3.00 for the service.’ If I hadn’t been so concerned about my wife I would have probably beaten the bastard to a pulp. Luckily the baby was in a playpen in the living room and the older boy was playing outside. I held Ji while promising to never leave her home alone. The next morning I dropped her and the boys off at my sister’s home in town on my way to work. Having lived with the brute my sister was very understanding. Knowing my mother would blame Ji for enticing my father I never told her. Actually Ji and the boys never saw my parents again. The only time I saw my father was a brief visit the following day. I told him that I had called my brother who now lived in Cincinnati and told him about the attempted rape. I also told him my brother had said he was coming home to carry out the threat we had given him the day he attacked my sister. Luckily for my dad I talked my brother out of it. The nights were the worst for Ji. She would wake up trembling and I would hold her until she fell back asleep. I decided and she agreed that we had to move away, far away. When in the army Isaac and I had had long discussions about our plans and hopes for the future. We also discussed our pasts.” At this point Isaac reached across the table and took Darren’s hand. “He had grown up in a loving family here in Ohio, the exact opposite of mine. After the incident with my father I began to fantasize about a happy home for my wife and boys far from my parents. I began calling Isaac most evenings. The cost of those long distance telephone calls was the best investment I have ever made. He contacted his Aunt Pauline, a widow living alone in Madisonburg a few miles north of Wooster and asked if she would be willing to have a buddy from the army and his family stay with her until they got settled. He also told me Rubbermaid was hiring for their expanded warehouse. Within a month I quit my job and we moved in with Aunt Pauline 250 miles (400 km) away from my cruel father. Aunt Pauline became the loving grandmother my sons had never had. It was like a great black cloud had been lifted. Within days Ji was smiling. Now she wakes me up frequently in the middle of the night, not out of fear but with passion. Let’s just say those are very enjoyable sleep interruptions. My oldest boy is in first grade. He gets on the school bus every morning with a smile as he greets friends and returns home with a smile knowing Aunt Pauline will have a snack of homemade cookies and milk ready for him.”

“While life is good I do have two concerns. First, while the job at Rubbermaid is beneficial for now, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life working in a warehouse. Even if I was promoted to a management job I would wish I was working on a farm. I love farming and want to return to the earth. My second concern is that Aunt Pauline, now in her 80s, applied for an apartment in an elderly housing apartment building in downtown Wooster. She has been on the list for over a year and someday, maybe next week, maybe not for years she will be able to move. She was having to depend on Isaac to help with some home projects as the house is too old and yard too big for her to take care of. She is like family to us and if we do move I will return to work in the yard and Ji will visit to gossip and help with housework while the boys play in the yard until she moves. That’s my story.”

The group then went to the Kitchner farm and Darren was introduced to Solomon as someone who might be available to help. Solomon’s knees were bothering him so he did not leave the house as the rest explored the farm. By the end of the day all were convinced Darren had the expertise to run the farm. The following day, Sunday, The Gunthries, (Darren, Ji, six year old Tommy and four year old Josh) were introduced to Solomon and Lucy Kitchner. By the end of the day Lucy was thrilled and relieved that this couple and their children were moving into her home. Solomon’s health had declined to the point where he could barely walk. No longer able to easily walk up the stairs their bedroom had been moved to the parlor off the living room in the large old farmhouse. The three unused bedrooms upstairs would provide the most comfortable living area Darren and family had ever had. Darren gave Rubbermaid two weeks notice and started working at the farm full-time the second week of April. Ji and the boys stayed in Madisonburg, 12 miles, 20 minutes south, for two months until the end of the school year. Most school nights Darren returned to Madisonburg and Ji’s bed. Weekends the family stayed at their new home. Two months later an apartment became available for Aunt Pauline. Darren and Ji helped her pack and move.

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In the spring of 1985 as the Gunthries moved into their new home PT was immersed in his third year at Ohio State. He was thrilled when he was notified by the office of the Dean that his application to work at the Ohio Agricultural Research and Development Center, a unit of Ohio State’s College of Agriculture located in Wooster, had been accepted. He would have a full time summer paid position at this research center a 25 minute commute from the bed he and David shared at the farm.

It had been three years since their wild night at Club Cleveland. While they had found the experience interesting neither suggested nor wanted to return. When their friend Jim visited they no longer invited him into their bed. However, both were constantly horny and admitted to each other that most days while others took a smoking break at work they each took their fist in hand in someplace private. Once PT got caught by one of his coworkers while he jerked off in an empty cow stall in the barn. He did not hear him coming and as they stared into each other’s eyes with PT holding his hard dick the guy joked, “Too bad you aren’t a bull. You could get good money for your stud service.” This embarrassing situation did not stop PT from future activities, he was just more vigilant.

Their daytime solos did not diminish their togetherness. Each got a healthy serving of the other’s protein at least twice daily either immediately after work before showers while each had the true essence of a man and/or at bedtime and/or a happy interlude in the middle of the night and/or the celebration of a tall woodie wake up.

David and PT usually had Thursday dinner at the Gunthrie’s where Lucy and Ji prepared a hearty dinner and the men (Solomon, Darren, PT and David) discussed farm issues. Dinner was preceded by a tour of the barn with seven year old Tommy participating in the discussions. David enjoyed his frequent after work visits with his new friend Darren. Their discussions ranged from farming to politics to their future plans. Tommy and his younger brother always tagged along during these visits of ‘Uncle David’. Darren had installed two basketball hoops in the barn, one normal height and one little boy height. The two men and two boys would have mini basketball games in the winter and baseball and football games in yard other times. The boys looked forward to visits to County Feed and Seed where David would explain the use of various pieces of John Deere heavy equipment while the boys sat in the driver’s seat. In January 1986 when Ji and Darren took a few days off for some quality time together Lucy looked after the boys and ‘Uncle David’ stayed at the house to help in the evenings and mornings. Solomon’s health continued to deteriorate. He walked with a cane and was unable to go outside unassisted. He rarely visited the barn. However, every evening at dinner Darren discussed farm activities with him and frequently asked his advice on various matters. This was done as a courtesy. The old man was frequently confused and some of his suggestions were outdated. But Solomon did enjoy the conversations and respect Darren showed him not knowing that frequently Darren did the opposite suggested.

February 1986

One Thursday evening at about 9:00 David received a frantic call from Lucy. Ji and Darren had gone to Church, Ji for choir practice and Darren to help a group of men painting the Sunday school rooms. On the way home there had been an accident. Lucy had no details except that Ji and Darren had been taken to Media Hospital. David told Lucy he would go to the hospital and call her when he had news. Upon arrival at the hospital David learned that Ji was in the emergency room and Darren in surgery. Since he was not an immediate family member he could not be given any other information. He called Uncle Will from a pay phone to explain the situation as he knew it and waited for Ji. When she was told that he was in the waiting room of the small hospital she asked if he could be with her while she waited for x-ray results on her arm. Her only injury was a broken arm that was put in a cast. By 2:00 in the morning she was released. They immediately went to the surgical waiting room and waited to talk to a doctor. At 5:00 they were approached by the doctor. Darren had suffered life threatening injuries and had passed away never regaining consciousness after the accident. David held Ji as she wept. Within an hour they were back at the farm. When Lucy, a light sleeper, heard the front door open she came to them. Hearing the tragic news she was devastated as she considered Ji and Darren family, not just hired help. At 6:00 David called his mother, Rachel. They decided the boys should not be told that morning and go to school to give their mother time to come to grips about the situation. Ji told the boys she was not feeling well and that ‘Aunt Rachel’ had come over to get them off to school.

An exhausted Ji went to bed after the boys left for school and David returned to his home while Rachel stayed with Lucy. Upon arrival home David gave Uncle Will the sad news. Will was both sympathetic and practical. When David lamented that he did not know what would happen to the farm Will replied, “You should buy it.”

David looked at Will and almost laughed, “No bank will give a couple of twenty- two year old guys who don’t even have a ‘pot to piss in’ a loan.”

Wishing that his lover, JB, was here to advise him Uncle Will made a proposal. “I love you and PT as if you were my own sons. In case you are not aware of my financial situation I am comfortable, very comfortable. My love of many years, JB, helped me invest wisely. While most of my resources are invested in real estate in Georgia I do have a substantial bank account balance and some stocks that can be sold now. I will contact my financial adviser in Georgia to discuss how to handle this. When we discuss with Drew the purchase of his parent’s farm tell him that any sale will be arranged so that his parents have the right to live in the farm house as long as they desire. Tell Ji that you hope to buy the farm and that she and the boys can stay there indefinitely.

David immediately called PT in Columbus. He had not departed for class and was able to have a short conversation with his love. PT was shocked and saddened about the events of the night. Having heard comments of his father about Uncle Will PT was not surprised at his uncle’s wealth. Also, he was not surprised that Uncle Will would make the offer. PT agreed to the basic concept and asked David to talk to Drew on their behalf.

An exhausted David then went to his employer at County Feed and Seed. His boss, the owner, was sympathetic to the situation. Being April this was a busy time for both the farm and the store. They agreed that David would immediately work shortened days so he would have time to work at the farm until a decision was made about his buying it. If he and PT were successful with the purchase he would work reduced hours while training his successor.

David then returned to the farm and sat with Ji and the boys as they were told about their father. Drew arrived later that evening to both console his parents, especially his mother, and seek advice from David or anyone on what to do immediately to take care of the farm. PT cut a late afternoon class and rushed up from Columbus arriving at about the same time as Drew.

David suggested that he, PT and Drew go out to the barn for a discussion. Drew was shocked and relieved when David presented their proposal. “PT and I would like to purchase the farm, house and all equipment. We propose that an appraiser be hired to value the property and give a purchase value. We have the resources available to make a down payment within two weeks and pay off the balance in a year or sooner. For a nominal rent your parents would have the right to live in the house as long as they desire. Until we come to an agreement I with the help of PT as he completes his final semester at Ohio State will manage the farm.”

For the first time since he had arrived Drew had a smile on his face. “While this is a lot to consider I think your proposal is both reasonable and workable. While I am not going to say ‘yes’ today I see no reason why we cannot come to a mutually acceptable arrangement. Please do as you consider necessary to maintain the farm and prepare for spring planting. I have a checking account in my name with Darren as a signer at the Media Bank. Tomorrow morning we will go to the bank and add one of your names as a signer on the account. You will have access to money to keep the farm going until we reach a final agreement and close on the sale.”

There were so many mourners at the funeral service in the small country church that folding chairs were set up in the side aisles and a few late comers stood behind the last row of pews. Ji sat in the front pew with her sons and Darren’s brother who had driven up from Cincinnati. Darren’s sister, eight months pregnant, could not attend. She and Ji had long telephone conversations after Darren’s death. To Ji’s surprise and shock Darren’s parents had driven up from Kentucky. Darren had had no contact with his parents since they had moved away following his father’s attempted rape of Ji. She realized the parents had the right to know their son had died. Darren’s brother had contacted them with the news. At the reception in the church hall following the service Ji’s brother and David stayed at her side while she received expressions of condolences.

To her shock Darren’s mother approached her and without so much as a hello stated, “We will be taking Darren’s boys back to Kentucky with us where they will be with real family. Since you being a foreigner and a cripple at that (Ji’s broken arm was still in a sling) its only right that their kin have the children. We know our rights so you just pack up those boys so we can get on the road.” Ji was shocked. As Darren’s brother began telling them that they would take the boys over his dead body David walked over to Drew who was sitting with his parents. He quickly explained the threat by Darren’s parents. Drew stood, took a $20 bill out of his pocket saying, “I’m paying you for some of the supplies you bought for the farm. Take this, your earned money and lend it to Ji. Tell her to just hold it in her hand. Don’t worry I will take care of this horrible situation.” David walked back to Ji and handed her the $20 bill telling her he was lending it to her and to just hold it. Drew then approached Ji and took her aside. “Ji, don’t worry about the threat you received from those bastards. I will take care of this. If you want to hire me to be the attorney for you and your children in custody matters I will gladly represent you. May I talk to those rotten people on your behalf?” When a tearful Ji shook her head yes as Drew continued. “To seal our deal making me the legal spokesperson for you and the boys I will need a cash retainer.” As he took the $20 bill out of her hand he told her to refer any concerns about the welfare of the children to him.

Drew then approached Darren’s parents. “I have been retained as the lawyer representing the interests of Mrs. Gunthrie and her two sons. If you have any questions or concerns about the well-being of the boys you should contact me. You implied that she is not fit to keep the children since she is a foreigner and a cripple. Being a foreigner has no bearing on the rights of a mother. Not that it is relevant to the situation but she is a US citizen. The assertion that a mother’s broken arm makes her unsuitable to have custody is ludicrous. As their legal representative I am ordering you to have no additional contact with Mrs. Gunthrie or her sons. In Medina County if you believe that a child is in danger you should contact authorities, either Child Welfare or the Sheriff. See that woman in the blue dress over there. She sang in the choir at Darren’s service and every Sunday sings in the choir with Ji. She is the County Welfare Officer. Report your concerns to her or that man in uniform over there. The Sheriff is a good friend of Darren and Mrs. Gunthrie. He will certainly look out for their interests. If you want to contact Mrs. Gunthrie or the children you must do it through my office. Now that you have been warned any unwanted contact will be considered harassment and you will be reported to the Sheriff. Here is my business card. Call my office to arrange an appointment if you wish to pursue what you claim to be your rights, as ridiculous as they are.” Drew handed them his card and walked away.

David who had listened to the conversation questioned Drew, “You do realize the lady in the blue dress is a librarian at the boy’s school, not a welfare official?”

Drew smiled as he replied, “Oh, was I mistaken, shame on me. Actually my legal specialty is corporate take overs. All I know about child welfare is what I’ve seen on TV. If those bastards knew anything about child law they could report me to the bar association for lying. I will deny saying it and you are the only witness as to what I said.”

With a big grin David replied, “I saw you talking to Darren’s parents but could not hear a word you said as the children are making so much noise.”

Meanwhile, Rachel, David’s mother, had been alerted to the conversation and had taken the boys to her home just in case those ‘crazies’ tried to do something.

The tragic accident had happened as Darren drove Ji home from church after her choir practice and his work session. As they drove south on Route 3 a semi-truck crossed the center line as the driver reached for a pack of cigarettes. The impact crushed the driver’s side of their car with Darren at the wheel. Little damage was done to the truck pulling a trailer filled with reels of industrial steel wire. Skid marks on the road left little doubt that the truck was totally responsible for the accident. Drew offered to have his office negotiate the substantial settlement that should be due from the trucking company and its insurer.

While the aspects of the appraisal and sale took longer than expected within a month David and PT jointly owned the farm with a mortgage held by Drew until final payment was made as Uncle Will raised money by selling stock investments and property in Georgia. Meanwhile the operation of the farm continued without interruption. Since Drew had power of attorney to represent his parents Lucy and Solomon were never fully aware of the sale arrangements. They continued their lives as if they were still the owners. David and PT were careful to discuss farm operations with Solomon as if he were the owner.

Ji and the boys continued to live there as David became a father figure, not father replacement to the boys.

Two weeks after the closing on the property (six weeks after Darren’s death) Ji using Solomon’s car which he no longer used visited a doctor in Medina. That evening she took David aside. While he slept at Uncle Will’s farm house he spent most evenings with Ji until the boys went to bed. She told him that she had visited the doctor and he confirmed what she had suspected, she was two months pregnant. She cried as David held her. She told him that her tears were a combination of both sadness and happiness. While she was aware of David’s and PT’s commitment to each other having a man as tender as David hold her was very soothing and sensual. When she told Lucy the next day both women shared tears of sadness and happiness. David called Drew to inform him of the pregnancy. While Drew had been negotiating an insurance settlement for a widow and two young children the insurance claim would increase since the deceased had left behind an additional child, unborn.

Six months later Drew convinced his mother that she and her father should move to a retirement apartment near Medina. Solomon and Lucy would move into an elderly complex where they would have an apartment with a full kitchen. Their living arrangement included breakfast and dinner being served in a dining room. The same property included an assisted living section and skilled nursing home. As their needs changed the level of care needed would be available. Luckily one of Lucy’s best friends from church had recently moved there and would provide needed companionship. The boys and Ji told Lucy they would visit often and they did. Most Sundays one of them picked up Lucy and Solomon to go to church followed by a visit to the farm.

Prior to the old couples moving out David, PT and Ji discussed future living arrangements. The two men were still living with Uncle Will about a ten minute drive from the farm. They agreed that the very pregnant Ji should not live alone in the big house with her sons. David suggested that she move into the bedroom previously occupied by Lucy and Solomon on the ground floor and that the men move to a bedroom upstairs down the hall from Ji’s sons. Ji knew she had no right to stay there and that with the insurance settlement could rent a small apartment for her family. However, PT and David were more than just landlords, they were like brothers to her and fathers to her five and seven year old sons. Since ‘the elephant in the room’ was David’s and PT’s relationship it had to be discussed openly before they moved in. David stated that they would not only share a room, they would share a bed and that it would be obvious to the boys. Ji’s reply, “After Darren, you two are the most caring and compassionate men I have ever known. While I admit I do not understand your relationship it must be good since you are such respectable men. I am sure the boys will just accept you as you are.” When they announced the planned move to the boys they got big smiles on their faces and asked: ‘When will you move?’ ‘What rooms will you have?’ “Can we help you move?” David had helped Ji pick out wallpaper and curtains for her new bedroom. Just prior to their moving, with the help of a friend from church, David and PT repapered her room and hung the new curtains turning the drab old fashion decorated room into a cheery modern place.

David had attended childbirth classes with Ji. Neither had a problem that the other couples in the class assumed they were man and wife. Three weeks after PT and David moved in they were awakened by Ji calling from downstairs. She thought she needed to go to the hospital. Six hours later with David in the delivery room, little Rebecca greeted the world. David held the tiny human in his arms with all the love that the father who had created her would have. PT and David performed all the acts of baby care from changing diapers to cuddling except of course feeding. Ji, without hesitation, breast fed ‘Becky as she was called, in front of her two fathers (David – Dad and PT – Pop).

At her first year birthday party a very spoiled and happy Becky called out the names of those around her. Mama, Dad (David), Pop (PT), Tommy and Josh her brothers, Nana and Grandpa (David’s parents) as well as Grama and Gramps (PT’s parents). Starting soon after her birth Nana (Rachel) had taken her at least once a week to her home while Ji volunteered at the library of the boys’ school.

September 1988

About a week after Becky’s second birthday Ji scheduled an appointment with the family doctor. She had not told anyone but she just did not feel right. She had lost weight, had constant heartburn and had stomach and back pains. When the doctor saw her he was immediately alarmed. While she had not, he noticed her skin was slightly yellow. Blood test results available a few days later confirmed the doctor’s suspicions. She had internal organs that were not functioning properly. He realized she immediately needed an examination by a specialists and scheduled an appointment at the Cleveland Clinic.

When Uncle Will heard that David was taking her for a series of tests at Cleveland Clinic he suggested they stay with his friend Vlad. Uncle Will called Vlad who without hesitation invited them to stay with him and Aiden. Vlad had met both David and Ji during visits to the farm house over the years.

Ji and David arrived the afternoon prior to Ji’s first consultation and series of tests. That evening Vlad and Aiden took them out to dinner. An exhausted Ji went to bed immediately after they returned to the apartment. David enjoyed conversation with the older men. Vlad and Aiden would have gladly invited him to share their bed but Uncle Will had told them David and his lover were in a monogamist relationship.

The next day David stayed with Ji between tests at the clinic. When she had test, scans or consultations he read Michener’s latest, Alaska, a gift from Vlad. At the end of the day David, at her request, accompanied her as the results were discussed. She had a form of advanced pancreatic cancer that had aggressively attacked her internal organs. They discussed treatment options, all of which required visits to Cleveland Clinic. The doctor was not at all optimistic about recovery.

After a quiet supper prepared by Aiden, David went to Ji’s room to discuss the future. They were both exhausted. David returned to his room and put on pajamas and a bathrobe. (When PT and David lived alone on the second floor of Uncle Will’s farm house they slept naked. When they moved to the house with Ji and her sons they slept in night shirts that hung loose down to their knees providing modesty when standing and total availability to each other when in bed.) He returned to Ji’s bedroom for more comforting. As she laid under the covers he sat in a chair. Following tearful conversation Ji said, “Please hold me.” As David slid into the bed and pulled the covers up. It just seemed the natural thing to do. As the strong, tall farmer wrapped his arms around the petite woman she rested her head on his shoulder. As she cried herself to sleep she mourned, not for herself, but for her children. Her final words of the night were, “David, the boys and Becky love you and PT. If anything happens to me I pray that you two could raise my children. But I know society and the law will not permit it.”

As she slept in his arms David fantasized having the children, seeing Becky walk down the lane on her first day of school, seeing the boys helping on the farm, seeing all of them graduate from high school and then seeing each getting married, and finally holding his grandchildren. Then he scolded himself for having such happy thoughts. Two men living together would never be allowed to have a family like that.