I Hate This Town - 38. Chapter 38: Closer

Things got better. Alec was leaning back on his elbows, fixated on the sun beginning to dip in the sky. Up here it looked so close that he daydreamed about reaching out and touching his fingers to the sky marbled with pink, purple, and blue. Maybe he could pluck one of the colors from the solid darker blue. It was beautiful and it was the perfect accompaniment to his downright tranquil mood. He settled back against fluffy pillows and glanced to the tailgate only a few feet away. Finn was sat there, eyes closed as the remaining sunlight made his face almost glow. The sun was setting but it seemed the rays were clinging to his boyfriend’s gold skin and downright perfect jawline.

“God, it’s a nice night.” Finn hummed softly and glanced over his shoulder to grin at Alec.

It’d been a few months since the house incident and they’d cleared the tiny hurdle that the argument had created. He tugged his fleece blanket up closer to his chin and hummed softly in contentment. His mind focused on the blond near his feet again. Finn’s hair was getting longer, curling at the tops of his ears. It was embarrassing for Alec to admit he was obsessed with the longer locks. There were even natural highlights from the summer sun that contrasted prettily with his golden skin. Looking at him was surreal. He was gorgeous and it was still hard for Alec to accept that they’d reunited. Hopefully for good this time.

Alec had been in his new place for exactly one week. Things were coming together slowly as he tried to find the motivation to unpack and decorate. It’d been a struggle as his old possessions didn’t fit the sprawling, renovated, old Victorian that he’d fallen in love with. The super modern furnishings and decorations that filled his home in Washington didn’t fit in the new place. Nothing from Washington fit into his life in Iowa it seemed. Which meant that he had to sort, throw away, sell, and buy to make himself feel at home. Which was exhausting.

They had agreed to wait for Finn to move in. They had compromised though. Finn loved the Victorian and had already started stripping the thick white paint off the original woodwork so he could sand and stain it. It had five bedrooms and everything else Alec had wanted. Alec was prolonging the inevitable. Finn would move in sooner rather than later. It was made even more obvious when he’d suggested they pick a house together. One that had everything Alec expected, while being in Finn’s budget.

“Where’d you go?” Finn’s voice was significantly closer and Alec jumped a bit when he refocused again and Finn was stretched out next to him.

“What do you mean? I didn’t go anywhere.”

“You get this adorably glazed over expression on your face when you get lost in thought.” Finn grinned up at him while relaxing with his arms behind his head.

“Do you ever wonder what would’ve happened if I never came back?” He asked as he slid down and curled up against Finn’s side. They readjusted and Finn wrapped an arm around Alec, fingers resting on his hip, subtly possessive.

Finn threw a thicker blanket over them. His thumb rubbed gentle circles on Alec’s hip bone as he spoke, “I wasn’t happy. Not really. I’m great at putting on a mask and performing the role that people are used to. I’m so blessed that I never feel like I can allow myself to be anything but cheerful and happy. With you I don’t have to…hide.”

Alec squirmed so that he could see Finn’s face again, “I was miserable. Living alone in that house while pushing anyone who cared about me away. I don’t think I was living so much as going through the motions. Work, eat, sleep, repeat you know?”

Finn nodded and his fingers rose to cup the back of Alec’s head while he kissed his forehead, “It’s better for both of us that you came back and we agreed to try and figure this out.”

“It helped that you were so persistent.” Alec laughed, “You and your horrible flirting.”

“Don’t lie. You like it.” They readjusted again so that they were laying on their sides facing each other, “You’re crazy enough to like me.”

Alec rolled his eyes, “Finn, you’re like the best human I’ve ever met.”

“Ohh, don’t let River hear you say that.” His words sparked laughter and Alec was pulled closer, arms holding him tight against Finn’s chest, “When’s he coming to visit anyway?”

“Kenji’s busy and River wants him to come with. So, whenever Kenji’s business…business is in a lull.”

As he thought about it, Alec realized he hadn’t spoken to his best friend for nearly a week. Last he knew, they’d made it back from Japan okay. River was full of stories and excitement, talking Alec’s ear off about his trip. He was waiting for them to see each other in person so that he could go into full detail. He insisted that Alec wasn’t appreciating it enough through the phone.

Alec smiled to himself as he thought of seeing his friend again. River was back in the shop and filled him in on their other friends’ drama and daily life. August had proposed. Sage had turned him down. Apparently, this was their fourth time through it. Alec couldn’t imagine being shot down that many times and still having the confidence to go for it again. But then, he shouldn’t be surprised. August could be tenacious if he wanted to be. If he wasn’t, he never would’ve been able to lock Sage down into a relationship.

Cameron and Luke were looking for a different house. Lukas’ little studio above his tattoo shop was getting too tight for both of them. Kenji and River were helping them look. Well, River was and Ken showed up from time to time. It worried Alec. River hadn’t had another break down like he had when he’d first arrived in Japan, but he knew his friend. River thrived with validation and attention. It was hard to believe that he was okay with their arrangement.

He took a breath. He’d just spoken with his therapist about this. It wasn’t any of his business. River was an adult and he could and would make his own decisions. Like before, if River needed a shoulder to cry on or a sympathetic ear, Alec would always be there. They were doing so well being apart. Far better than Alec expected. Especially from himself. He thought he’d be lost without his friend, but he’d replaced the desperate codependence with his own strength. The progress was slow, but progress was progress. He was getting better and he was proud of himself. He could stand on his own. Alec didn’t need anyone else to keep everything together. When it got too heavy to carry, Finn and River were still there. He hadn’t lost the support; he’d just found a way to rely on himself.

“Did you…did you ever think about me when you were out there? It seems like I thought of you almost every waking moment.” Finn chuckled.

“Course I did.” The question pulled a frown to Alec’s face, but it was gone quickly. Finn kissed it away and the two got even closer in the truckbed somehow.

“I guess it really doesn’t matter. You’re here now and you’re mine. Now I just have to keep you happy.”

It’d been five weeks and Alec was starting to settle in. At first, it hadn’t seemed real. Every morning he woke up in Iowa seemed to startle him. Especially if he woke up at home and not at Finn’s. At least with Finn around, things weren’t so jarring. He pulled the collar of his coat up to cover his nose. Iowa had dropped quickly into winter and the very air was sapping his energy. Yanking his beanie down over his ears, he looked around him, breathing a sigh of relief when a large red truck whipped into the parking lot.

Alec crossed his arms over his chest and watched the truck park slightly crooked. He slapped on his best glare as the driver jumped out and slammed the door. Finn spotted him quickly and waved as he hurried over. It had been grey and gross out. Which did nothing to deter the sunlight that seemed to follow the blond wherever he went.

“Hey!”

“You’re late.” He huffed from inside his raised collar.

“Ah yeah, sorry baby. I got caught up talking to Milo at the gym.” Finn grinned sheepishly.

“Let’s go inside. I’m fucking freezing.” Alec marched away. He was practically stomping. Much to his dismay, Finn’s fingers gripped his elbow and forced him to a stop once they’d entered the store.

“Hey, don’t be mad babe. C’mere.” He cooed and Alec tried to squirm out of the man’s grip. Alec was not in the mood for his boyfriend’s teasing tone. Finn didn’t seem to care and dragged Alec closer to him. Warm hands cupped his cheeks and he felt the feeling in them slowly returning. Kisses were dropped on one cheek and then traveled over his nose to the other. Finn nipped his earlobe (also freezing) as he whispered.

“You look cute all turtled up in your coat.”

It had been a few days since they’d seen each other and Finn’s close proximity did stupid things to Alec’s stomach. A tongue traced the shell of his ear and Alec pushed his boyfriend away, “We’re in public!”

“You think I wouldn’t fuck you in public?” Finn smirked as he stepped back and Alec’s stomach flipped.

He ignored the obvious bait and walked into the store. He waved to the employees and explained more than once that they didn’t need help. Alec stared straight ahead and ignored the footsteps behind him. He didn’t trust his voice. Hell, he didn’t trust himself. Waking up alone put him in a weird mood most of the time and he’d been doing it for days. Not to mention, they hadn’t had time to be intimate in a week and a half. It may not seem like much to some, but Alec was used to being more…active. All of this to say that he was pent up and just looking at Finn made him weak. Don’t get him started on his smile, the fit of his jeans pulled across muscle and wide shoulders, and did he get a new cologne?

“Alec,” A voice whined dramatically from behind him, “Baby don’t be mad. I was just teasing!”

“Stay over there.” Alec said, putting distance between them.

“But why? I missed you!” More whining.

“We can get closer when we’re not in public.” Alec sighed, trying to keep his thoughts out of the gutter.

“Mm, yeah? How close can we get baby?” Finn’s voice was like silk slipping over his bare skin and he had to repress a shudder as the other man hugged him from behind.

“A-arm’s length Larson. Enough space for God in between us.” He said, trying to step away.

“Don’t pull that. Where you going?” Finn murmured, kissing the back of his neck.

“We’re here to look at furniture! Nothing else!”

Alec stumbled away and glared at the teasing laughter that followed him. He made himself focus on a nice cognac-colored leather couch. It was all clean lines and sharp angles and he immediately knew it wouldn’t be to Finn’s taste. They had discovered that their style preferences clashed a bit. Alec was into all things modern and Finn liked rustic. Basically, anything you’d label farmhouse, Finn was a fan of. This had surprised Alec at first since his house wasn’t decorated that way. Then he’d learned that Nina and Finn’s mother had taken charge when Finn failed to even prioritize unpacking his nonessentials.

“That’s ugly.” Finn said. Well, he’d called it.

“We can’t have leather with Herky anyway. He’ll mess it up with his nails.” Alec shrugged as he rejoined Finn who’d gravitated towards a bright red couch, “No way. We’re not doing red.”

“Okay, what about that one?” Finn pointed to a sectional that probably came with its own zip code and Alec shook his head.

“No way. That thing’s a monstrosity!”

“We’ve got a decent sized family. We’ll fill it! Also, think of the cuddling we could do!” Finn said.

“No way. I like this one over here.” Alec answered.

“No way it looks way too uncomfortable!”

Alec let out a long sigh. Picking out furniture was going to be a lot harder than he expected. He wasn’t even sure they’d find one they agreed upon to see if it fell within budget. When the spring came, Finn would graduate, which meant he wanted to help pay for the house’s furniture. What would eventually be their house, Alec reminded himself. That was all fine and dandy, but what if they couldn’t agree on anything? He thought this trip would be fun. They could use it to get closer and it was romantic in a way? They could bond over getting their home together. That was his plan anyway, but with every couch they disagreed upon, he could see his plan dissolving.