' Live-Poets Society ' – A Corner For Poetry

[Aditus]

Ok, but have a small doubt!!!

 

Is it my poem, now, or Yours???

Of course it's still yours. It was a suggestion, a spontaneous idea. They're your words and (your pa) It's your decision what you make of it. 

[Emi GS]

Of course it's still yours. It was a suggestion, a spontaneous idea. They're your words and (your pa) It's your decision what you make of it.

Thank You for the Suggestion Adi...

[AC Benus]

Thank You for the Suggestion Adi...

I'd only add that 'pa' should be 'Pa,' as when mom, dad, grandma, etc. are used in lieu of a proper name, it should be capitalized like a person's name. Thus, 'my pa' (is ok), but 'Pa said...' 

[Aditus]

I'd only add that 'pa' should be 'Pa,' as when mom, dad, grandma, etc. are used in lieu of a proper name, it should be capitalized like a person's name. Thus, 'my pa' (is ok), but 'Pa said...' 

Ha! Of course you saw that immediately. I had already pressed 'Post' and was too lazy to edit. Sorry. 

[AC Benus]

Ha! Of course you saw that immediately. I had already pressed 'Post' and was too lazy to edit. Sorry. 

Lol, Adi. I know for both of us, the 'Ha!' is due to having such a wonderful editor like Lisa teaching us point by point, and being infinitely patient until we picked up ideas like Mom vs. mom until we could do it on our own. 

 

I love our GA community. It's awesome.

[Emi GS]

I'd only add that 'pa' should be 'Pa,' as when mom, dad, grandma, etc. are used in lieu of a proper name, it should be capitalized like a person's name. Thus, 'my pa' (is ok), but 'Pa said...'

Thank You for the observation, Ben...

[Parker Owens]

A Sonnet For a Thaw:

 

The silver moon is swinging high above

the folded, wrinkled brown, the withered earth,

so late encased in winter's iron glove

but even now runs merrily in mirth,

 

On every slope beneath the stars is sung

the notes creation breathes to be undressed,

and many waters speak with every tongue

the vernal sonnet of the uncaressed. 

 

For icy, leaden sadness cannot yield

to gentle kindly zephyrs promised while

the deep laid frosty ground beneath the field

shall disbelieve Sol's February smile.

 

And so my love, it seems so hard to trust

as warmest words may lie as frozen dust.

 

 

 

Comments?

[Aditus]

 

A Sonnet For a Thaw:

 

The silver moon is swinging high above

the folded, wrinkled brown, the withered earth,

so late encased in winter's iron glove

but even now runs merrily in mirth,

 

On every slope beneath the stars is sung

the notes creation breathes to be undressed,

and many waters speak with every tongue

the vernal sonnet of the uncaressed. 

 

For icy, leaden sadness cannot yield

to gentle kindly zephyrs promised while

the deep laid frosty ground beneath the field

shall disbelieve Sol's February smile.

 

And so my love, it seems so hard to trust

as warmest words may lie as frozen dust.

 

 

 

Comments?

 

I absolutely love:

 

'and many waters speak with every tongue

the vernal sonnet of the uncaressed. '

 

The second line of the second stanza has too many syllables. I won't make suggestions, just think about it.

 

It's a typical winter poem, as in making me sad. Nevertheless, I like it.

[dughlas]

Of course it's still yours. It was a suggestion, a spontaneous idea. They're your words and (your pa) It's your decision what you make of it.

 

I am glad to see you all having fun with this form and especially the collaboration.

[Emi GS]

A Sonnet For a Thaw:

The silver moon is swinging high above

the folded, wrinkled brown, the withered earth,

so late encased in winter's iron glove

but even now runs merrily in mirth,

 

On every slope beneath the stars is sung

the notes creation breathes to be undressed,

and many waters speak with every tongue

the vernal sonnet of the uncaressed.

 

For icy, leaden sadness cannot yield

to gentle kindly zephyrs promised while

the deep laid frosty ground beneath the field

shall disbelieve Sol's February smile.

 

And so my love, it seems so hard to trust

as warmest words may lie as frozen dust.

 

Comments?

I am definitely never gonna judge, because I am just the student here. Still learning. But I liked the poem and enjoyed all vibrant colors that this poem brought.

 

Coming to it, I was not able to understand two words. Like

~ 'uncaressed' as you mean 'uncared'???

~ 'zephyrs' will resemble 'zephyr' or 'zephuros'???

 

And so my love, it seems so hard to trust

as warmest words may lie as frozen dust.

And most importantly, this is a tricky part. I loved theses two line and how you framed them.

 

Thank You for sharing this poem with us...

[Parker Owens]

@ Adi: I think I have the syllable count right in the second stanza, line 2...but perhaps my way of speaking is doing that.

@ Emi: "Uncaressed" as in untouched, unloved, unhappy.  Zephyrs as in soft, warm, gentle breezes and airs.

 

Anyhow, I hope you each enjoyed the poem!

[Aditus]

@ Adi: I think I have the syllable count right in the second stanza, line 2...but perhaps my way of speaking is doing that.

 

 

Anyhow, I hope you each enjoyed the poem!

Haha, no. That's probably my (wrong) speaking. Good you'll never actually hear me talking.

[AC Benus]

Happy February, my lively, Live Poets!!!

 

There is a new Poetry Prompt up. Please check it out, and let me know of any feedback. I have a short window to edit if could be improved or clearer in some ways.

 

Thanks to all of you.

[Emi GS]

Emi: "Uncaressed" as in untouched, unloved, unhappy. Zephyrs as in soft, warm, gentle breezes and airs.

Anyhow, I hope you each enjoyed the poem!

I know the meanings but got confused by the word formation. Anyway, thank you for explaining...

[Emi GS]

Happy February, my lively, Live Poets!!!

There is a new Poetry Prompt up. Please check it out, and let me know of any feedback. I have a short window to edit if could be improved or clearer in some ways.

Thanks to all of you.

Mmmmm!!! New Prompt...

 

Definitely gonna take a look and try.

 

Happy Feb to you too Ben...

[dughlas]

Happy February, my lively, Live Poets!!!

 

There is a new Poetry Prompt up. Please check it out, and let me know of any feedback. I have a short window to edit if could be improved or clearer in some ways.

 

Thanks to all of you.

 

Not sure I'm up to this prompt just yet but I await the efforts of my compatriots ...

[Mikiesboy]

Happy February, my lively, Live Poets!!!

 

There is a new Poetry Prompt up. Please check it out, and let me know of any feedback. I have a short window to edit if could be improved or clearer in some ways.

 

Thanks to all of you.

*hides*

Not sure I'm up to this prompt just yet but I await the efforts of my compatriots ...

Me too, dugh

[Parker Owens]

*hides*

Me too, dugh

Hides?

No hiding, but I have a question after reading the prompt...what does 'interlocking' mean exactly in this context? I'm a bit of an idiot here, but I need a little clarification...

[Mikiesboy]

Hides?

No hiding, but I have a question after reading the prompt...what does 'interlocking' mean exactly in this context? I'm a bit of an idiot here, but I need a little clarification...

Yep I'm hiding.. no way I'm ready to do these.. gotta get thru sonnets, ghazal's and ballades first.. 

[AC Benus]

Hides?

No hiding, but I have a question after reading the prompt...what does 'interlocking' mean exactly in this context? I'm a bit of an idiot here, but I need a little clarification...

Interlocking means that the single un-rhymed word from the first quatrain becomes the rhyme word for the second, and so forth. Look at Frost's poem, and you will see how it goes from a-a-b-a, to b-b-c-b, and then c-c-d-c. The rhymes 'interlock.'     

[Parker Owens]

Doh.  < insert Homer Simpson moment here >

 

Thanks, AC. How I missed that, I'll never know.

[AC Benus]

Doh.  < insert Homer Simpson moment here >

 

Thanks, AC. How I missed that, I'll never know.

[Emi GS]

Added a new poem to "My Immature Poetry". Hope you guys will like it. Suggestions are always welcome...

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/the-eminent-mgk/MIP_MGK/14

[Parker Owens]

Saw it! Reviewed it! Liked it!

[Emi GS]

Saw it! Reviewed it! Liked it!

Thank You Parker!!!