' Live-Poets Society ' – A Corner For Poetry

[Defiance19]

Def - I love the second of these two - the Snow pillows image sticks in my mind especially, and absolutely love how they are a  kiss so soft. I know about snow like that. Beautiful.

 

 

Adi - These kinds of counting poems are good for us math/quant thinkers, no?  I love the way your sentence and syntax flow through the syllable counts. 

 

Thanks to both of you for sharing these!

The second is my favorite.

Thank you Parker and Adi... And all who 'liked them'.. It's a fun learning process.

 

Cinquain? *pricks up ears*

 

Again

we have something

inspiring to play and

to tinker with until the words

fit in.

 

 

How's that?

 

You make this look easy.. I agree with Parker about the flow..

I have no likes left so I have to come back to these.. 

Edited January 23, 2016 by Defiance19

[Drew Espinosa]

 

Since I'm snowed in, I thought a winter haiku or 2 would be appropriate..  

 

Thoughts, critique, have at it..  

 

Gray clouds blanket sky

Snowflakes chase each other down

Cold delight on tongue

 

Icy wind blows by

Snow pillows gently flutter

Each a kiss so soft

 

 

I love them both, Mama!

[Puppilull]

Def, I really like your haikus (it's one of my favourite styles too) and since it's snowing here too, I find them both very appropirate. I was thinking about the thing AC talked about earlier in the thread. That haikus in Japanese are sort of flowing over the lines. I thought about the first one and perhaps this could be a try in that direction? 

 

Just a wild thought... 

 

Gray clouds blanket sky

As snowflakes chase each other

To delight my tongue

 

BTW, who hasn't stood outside trying to catch a snowflake on their tongue? Such a playful image and I don't think I'll ever outgrow that! 

[Defiance19]

 

Def, I really like your haikus (it's one of my favourite styles too) and since it's snowing here too, I find them both very appropirate. I was thinking about the thing AC talked about earlier in the thread. That haikus in Japanese are sort of flowing over the lines. I thought about the first one and perhaps this could be a try in that direction? 

 

Just a wild thought... 

 

Gray clouds blanket sky

As snowflakes chase each other

To delight my tongue

 

BTW, who hasn't stood outside trying to catch a snowflake on their tongue? Such a playful image and I don't think I'll ever outgrow that! 

 

Oh, thank you Puppi, still no likes.. I will go back and pay better attention to the flowing lines.. I read this out loud and the flow is different.. Thanks again, I'm actually less scared of sharing here than really posting. (I catch snowflakes unconsciously sometimes then look to see who might have seen) 

 

I love them both, Mama!

Thank you Drew! Xo

[Mikiesboy]

Since I'm snowed in, I thought a winter haiku or 2 would be appropriate..  

 

Thoughts, critique, have at it..  

 

 

Gray clouds blanket sky

Snowflakes chase each other down

Cold delight on tongue

 

 

Icy wind blows by

Snow pillows gently flutter

Each a kiss so soft

 

As usual I am likeless, both are good, Def! :heart:

[Defiance19]

As usual I am likeless, both are good, Def! :heart:

 

Me too... Thanks Tim, baby steps.. 

[Puppilull]

Oh, thank you Puppi, still no likes.. I will go back and pay better attention to the flowing lines.. I read this out loud and the flow is different.. Thanks again, I'm actually less scared of sharing here than really posting. (I catch snowflakes unconsciously sometimes then look to see who might have seen)

 

Of course, it's a matter of what mood you're after and the feeling you want to convey. I don't think you have anything to be scared of. Just remember what I said. These poetry prompt challenges are a gateway to heavier writing...! So be prepared! Edited January 24, 2016 by Puppilull

[Mikiesboy]

Of course, it's a matter of what mood you're after and the feeling you want to convey. I don't think you have anything to be scared of. Just remember what I said. These poetry prompt challenges are a gateway to heavier writing...! So be prepared!

You are so right. AC recommended I write a few more English sonnets before moving on to Italian but I'm struggling. However I will win! Just need to hang in ...

[Mikiesboy]

My favourite rhyming dictionary.. mostly cuz it give them to you with the syllable count !!

 

http://www.rhymer.com/RhymingDictionary/rhyme.html

[AC Benus]

Thanks again, I'm actually less scared of sharing here than really posting.

HooooRaaayyy! I hoped this place would be a good, open forum to discuss our poetry. And we should consider posting here first if we think others can help us out.

[Parker Owens]

I like RhymeBrain myself...

 

any comment on this couplet exercise?

 

Pictures write in detailed painted fiction,

speaking with the artist's subtle diction.

Paramount the pencil fingered writer

sketching shadows where the light was brighter

when the sun was pouring in the dormer;

colored cold although the room felt warmer.

Scattered spattered brushtrokes cannot capture

songs of pleasured silken summer rapture;

neither does the canvas make betrayal

hearing those once joined in bitter quarrel.

[Puppilull]

Could AC have written a poem about us...? LOL (See my slightly self-centered review about no 5.)

[Mikiesboy]

Could AC have written a poem about us...? LOL (See my slightly self-centered review about no 5.)

Interesting thought .. personally when i read I thought he was speaking to a lover..i know he loves us all, but 

 

I will leave my review but no time in the early mornings... have a lovely day... laterz

Edited January 26, 2016 by Mikiesboy

[Puppilull]

I know, but I like the idea of a poem about us. I think it's a very beautiful imagery of love and a lover.

[Mikiesboy]

I know, but I like the idea of a poem about us. I think it's a very beautiful imagery of love and a lover.

Write one about us ...mad poets! Lol

[Aditus]

Ooooookay. Italian sonnet. I wrote this a while ago, but then I forgot to post it. Probably because there were still a few tweaks to make.

 

I don't know if it's any better now.

 

Dream 2.0

 

The red door dares me to come closer still,
 

to touch its handle, press down, step inside,
 

although its color screams entry denied,
 

I cannot resist the lure, and the thrill.
 

Fingers on icy cold brass feel the chill,
 

as my need to know and my fear collide,
 

I pull back my hand, but my feet abide,
 

and instinct to flee fights unbending will.
 

The door flies open, warmth invites me in,
 

all I see is a flickering fire.

 

Shadows dance on your luminescent skin,
 

then your smile and the flames become higher.
 

They told me you are the cardinal sin,
 

but I came back my beloved sire.

 

 

Help?

[Parker Owens]

I tripped over All I see is a flickering fire. 

 

Maybe,...I see but shadow and a flickering fire...?

 

 

But I love the overall theme and the idea itself. 

[J.HunterDunn]

I tripped over All I see is a flickering fire. 

 

Maybe,...I see but shadow and a flickering fire...?

 

 

But I love the overall theme and the idea itself. 

 

First of all: I love the poem Adi.

 

If your suggestion is followed, Parker, than there are two shadows in the two lines, which doesn't look good.

How about: All I can see is a flickering fire.

That would give the correct number of syllables and keeps the original meaning intact.

Just a thought.

[Parker Owens]

Oh, Peter that's good. Adi, don't listen to me.

 

First of all: I love the poem Adi.

 

If your suggestion is followed, Parker, than there are two shadows in the two lines, which doesn't look good.

How about: All I can see is a flickering fire.

That would give the correct number of syllables and keeps the original meaning intact.

Just a thought.

[dughlas]

And this is when my limited knowledge becomes an issue for me. I know the poem brought images to mind and I liked it but have absolutely no idea if you conformed to the "rules". This is the base for my feelings of inadequacy when we come to the more intricate forms. Nonetheless I enjoy my time here and the chance to explore.

[J.HunterDunn]

Dugh, if you want to explore further, AC wrote the introductions to the English Sonnet and the Italian Sonnet.

 

You can find them here:

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/forums/topic/40290-poetry-prompt-9-–-sonnet/

 

and here:

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/forums/topic/40385-poetry-prompt-10-–-italian-sonnet/

Edited January 27, 2016 by J.HunterDunn

[dughlas]

Peter - Thank you. The major issue is that I currently have extremely limited internet access, barely enough time to catch up on happenings in a few forums and downloading the newest chapters in stories I follow just not enough time for all I'd like or want to read. I do appreciate your thoughtfulness.

[Aditus]

First of all: I love the poem Adi.

How about: All I can see is a flickering fire.

That would give the correct number of syllables and keeps the original meaning intact.

Just a thought.

Thank you, Peter. I like your idea.

 

I meant to write:

Shadows dance on your luminescent skin,

 

then your smile and the flames become higher.

 

So, your or you?  I think 'you'.

[J.HunterDunn]

 

So, your or you?  I think 'you'.

 

You will mean there will be a relation between the smile and the higher flames. I like that idea. It improves the image, I think.

[Mikiesboy]

And this is when my limited knowledge becomes an issue for me. I know the poem brought images to mind and I liked it but have absolutely no idea if you conformed to the "rules". This is the base for my feelings of inadequacy when we come to the more intricate forms. Nonetheless I enjoy my time here and the chance to explore.

As someone who originally used to write stuff down and call it a poem (my old stuff in street words) i was surprised when someone said it was a form of poetry. - free verse. Who knew? Not me.

 

So when people liked that old poetry and i decided i wanted to learn more.. the rules felt like a tight suit on a nudist. But you know what? They made me a better poet. I don't think I'm some brilliant poet, but i find i like the challenge that rules give me. I need to make what i want to say fit in those rules. And when it works, well it's beautiful thing. 

 

There's is no rush to learn a new form if you start at Prompt one and work on that until you're ready to move on. And trust me, I nearly gave up at Meter. OMG i struggled with that. Ask AC how much crap he read... but I get it now. 

 

There's a whole course on writing poetry here.. wow. I think we're very lucky to have them and someone like AC who makes it happen.  But have fun with it .. and we're all here to help and support each other. I think it's a brilliant place!!

 

Ok.. i'll um.. just .......go there and be quiet.. I get a little enthusiastic..