Writing About Teenage Characters

[Brayon]

Lately, I've read a few non-GA stories, that are written with teenage characters, and I've had to stop reading them. I don't know about  anyone else, but when do you say, "I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable with this." I think I just hit my limit when I was on another site, that is supposed to be stories that are more that P.W.P., and seeing graphic sex scenes involving young characters.

 

Sorry, I'm not sorry, but that shit just creeps me out.

 

The Gay Community has been fighting the stigma that we are nothing but sexual predators, preying on young kids. However, we have gay writers that are writing about sex between kids, sometimes in very graphic details, and it just makes us look like a bunch of pedophiles trying to get our rocks off. I don't want to be associated with that. When as an Author does one say, "enough is enough."

[Mikiesboy]

i'm with you on this. That kind of thing is creepy.  I was an abused minor.. at 15 i had no desire to have what were to me, old men as lovers. (I'm trying to be polite) Yet, that's what happened. I dont want to read it. I dont want to read about underage kids in sexual situations no matter the age of their lovers, its a huge turn off for me. 

[FormerMember4]

I read mostly adult stories. Just because that’s where I am in life. The ones that I do read  have mature characters. You can hint at sex, but don’t want graphic. I won’t read anything that doesn’t have like aged characters. I agree it perpetuates a disgusting stereotype.

[Brayon]

7 minutes ago, BlindAmbition said:

I won’t read anything that doesn’t have like aged characters.

Agreed. Like you also said, hinting is one thing, fade to black is also good. But, making it graphic for titillation, no, hard pass. 

[Cia]

Even when I write 18 year old characters, I rarely am able to write much sex. BUT, being an adult who works around kids, I've quite unfortunately overheard quite a bit. Those kids think, and talk, and (at least say) they're having sex. A lot. And I certainly remember having sex as a teenager as well. I don't think there's anything 'wrong' with showing realistic stories in that aspect. The issue comes in when stories seem to focus more on sex than on the rest of their lives, imo. 

[Krista]

I don't read the sex scenes. I don't read sex scenes generally no matter the story. I guess I'm not an.. "erotica," reader, so I tend to skim those and move on to the action. As a writer who has written stories about teenage sex/relationships, I find the older that I get the more I don't like doing it. It is the age gap, I guess. I am now in my thirties and when I started writing I was in my teens the same age as my characters so the concept didn't seem as... cringe-y - for me to write. I still do it as I have committed to writing coming of age, modern romances. That is just part of life. I never try to get too graphic or I don't think I do... lol.

 

I also firmly know that my writing is fiction so with that in mind, I can have a bit of a disconnect from myself and my characters. For readers I know that can be different, you become more invested in them as you read, because that's the point of reading. So when they do things that you're not comfortable with you probably feel it more than the writer so I can understand why people tend to shy away from these types of stories that involve graphic sex.

 

Also.. if the story is 'about' the sex.. with a little plot to fill out the pages, I won't read it either. I would be too uncomfortable, but not too much stuff that I have read has made me uncomfortable, but my reading list is rather tame usually.

[Comicality]

Guilty as charged. I'll admit to being one of those authors.

 

Please understand, I lost my virginity when I was 13. Throughout high school, I was sexually active. So were my best friends. So were a lot of people in my family. We were horny all the time. And that was back in the late 80's/early 90's with no internet. There were no dating apps and dick pics and hardcore porn at the click of a button. Not for me. But I don't regret any of the experiences that I had as a minor. And now that I try to give advice and guidance to other teens online...I feel WORSE about discouraging their sexuality than I would telling them to be safe and cautious about what they're doing. Especially since I remember being in their position when I was their age. I'd be a hypocrite to deny that I wanted it, myself, and wasn't just as reckless as they are. (Hopefully, I can keep them from being reckless at all)

 

Remembering my own feelings at that age, I just think it's unrealistic to think that nobody thinks about sex until their in their 20's, or wouldn't take an opportunity that is set up in my stories for something...naughty. I write stories with a sense of nostalgia that reminds people, "Yeah, I was 15 once. If I could have had my dream boy come over and get naked with me, I would have jumped on it in a heartbeat." Naturally, not everybody wants to read that story. That's ok. But I have to admit to being baffled by the disgust involved. Because whenever I've asked people, candidly, when they started reading my stories for the first time...the answer is almost always between the ages of 13 and 16. Same as me. It's not a 'fluke' that it happens.

 

Anyway, I enjoy writing about 'first' love. Sometimes it happens in high school. Sometimes it happens in college. Sometimes it happens as an older adult. I've written about them all. The emotion is my main concern. But I think there's a huge leap between finding someone beautiful and attractive and being a creepy rapist or a sexual predator. That's a HUGE swing of the pendulum! We JUST had an awesome collection of 'forbidden love' stories posted here on GA...and I don't remember rape or predatory behavior being a part of any of it. It's just forbidden.

 

Either way, I'm sure I wasn't the first underaged boy to engage in graphic sex with another boy. Won't be the last. It doesn't make the writing perverse or the topic controversial. It's just not the reader's particular flavor. That's why we have variety. 'Click'...oh yeah! That's more my speed! Hehehe!  

[Brayon]

*Makes sure we're in one of the Private Areas of Gay Authors, where Google is not a factor*

 

There is a difference between writing about First Loves, feelings about that time frame, nostalgia, etc., and writing a hardcore sex scene of two 11-13-year-olds, which involves many positions and kinks most adults would shy away from. Example: How many teens are going to "fist" their partner, or drink their partner's urine. When a writer describes, a character's bowel movements, and how the size of one is giving the character a hardon, well that's crossing the line.

 

I kid, you not. I've run into stories that had all three of those elements in them, and I stopped reading when I got to those parts in the middle of chapter 1. And they weren't on Nifty or Literotica.

 

As I said, there is a difference between writing about teens in love, and full-on hardcore sex scenes. The former is fine, the latter is where the creepy factor comes in, and makes it a stain on the Gay Community as a whole. Sex happens. I'm not saying, not to hint that it happens, or not to use the popular FtB method. Just to be mindful of perceptions of others outside our community, who may still hold prejudices against us. You mentioned, that we had some fantastic forbidden love stories, and we did. I wrote mine that included the death of the main characters for being gay. Not because they were in an incest relationship, but for being homosexual. You know why? Because in 2018 in parts of our world, being Gay is illegal, and will get you killed. We don't need to add fuel to their prejudice.

[Comicality]

Oh my! LOL! Yes, point well taken! That's a bit much, and unbelievably graphic. I'd hit the back button myself in that situation. So, agreed!

 

I think I gt what you're saying.

[Mikiesboy]

I think part of the issue is, as @BHopper2 said, we have older gay men writing about underage kids, but they sound anything but like children. They sound like leather daddies,  not like silly, horny boys.

[FormerMember4]

2 hours ago, BHopper2 said:

*Makes sure we're in one of the Private Areas of Gay Authors, where Google is not a factor*

 

There is a difference between writing about First Loves, feelings about that time frame, nostalgia, etc., and writing a hardcore sex scene of two 11-13-year-olds, which involves many positions and kinks most adults would shy away from. Example: How many teens are going to "fist" their partner, or drink their partner's urine. When a writer describes, a character's bowel movements, and how the size of one is giving the character a hardon, well that's crossing the line.

 

I kid, you not. I've run into stories that had all three of those elements in them, and I stopped reading when I got to those parts in the middle of chapter 1. And they weren't on Nifty or Literotica.

 

As I said, there is a difference between writing about teens in love, and full-on hardcore sex scenes. The former is fine, the latter is where the creepy factor comes in, and makes it a stain on the Gay Community as a whole. Sex happens. I'm not saying, not to hint that it happens, or not to use the popular FtB method. Just to be mindful of perceptions of others outside our community, who may still hold prejudices against us. You mentioned, that we had some fantastic forbidden love stories, and we did. I wrote mine that included the death of the main characters for being gay. Not because they were in an incest relationship, but for being homosexual. You know why? Because in 2018 in parts of our world, being Gay is illegal, and will get you killed. We don't need to add fuel to their prejudice.

Wow! I was active at 14, that stuff wasn’t even on my radar. I grew up at same time as @Comicality. We had mags, not internet. I was horny, not advanced enough to think of that. My stomach would churn if I read that.

[Timothy M.]

I just want to mention the 'kiddie porn' isn't exclusive to gay stories. It's sadly also prevalent in straight P.W.P. written erotica, and there the age gap is usually a factor rather than equal-aged teen sex.   But no one tries to say all straight guys are pedos due to this, whereas gay guys get hammered with the unfair stigma.  

 

Personally, I don't mind reading about sex in stories, teens or not, but I want it to be realistic. To me two emotionally immature or childish acting 13-15 year-olds jumping into all out sex at the first opportunity doesn't even come close, never mind all the kinky stuff you hint at @BHopper2  

 

Writing about modern teens is difficult enough as it is...  

[CassieQ]

17 hours ago, BHopper2 said:

Lately, I've read a few non-GA stories, that are written with teenage characters, and I've had to stop reading them. I don't know about  anyone else, but when do you say, "I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable with this." I think I just hit my limit when I was on another site, that is supposed to be stories that are more that P.W.P., and seeing graphic sex scenes involving young characters.

 

Sorry, I'm not sorry, but that shit just creeps me out.

 

The Gay Community has been fighting the stigma that we are nothing but sexual predators, preying on young kids. However, we have gay writers that are writing about sex between kids, sometimes in very graphic details, and it just makes us look like a bunch of pedophiles trying to get our rocks off. I don't want to be associated with that. When as an Author does one say, "enough is enough."

 

I think the title of this post is misleading.  You talk about not wanting to read about teenagers having sex, but by the end of your post you are referring to kids.  They are not the same.

Kids having sex is not okay.  Writing about kids having sex is not okay, reading about kids having sex is not okay.  (I have found this in the fan fiction world too, it’s called shota-something)

 

Teenagers are different.  I have written quite a few stories with teenagers, and sex is a part of their lives.  I never had sex when I was a teenager, but I sure as hell thought about it a lot.  Teenagers are having sex, so I don’t see why it is weird to write about it.  But I don't think writing sex between kids and sex between teens can be put into the same basket.    

[Timothy M.]

3 hours ago, CassieQ said:

 

You talk about not wanting to read about teenagers having sex, but by the end of your post you are referring to kids.  They are not the same.

 

But they are - because teens cover 13 to 19, and to me 13-15 are children, 16-17 are young adults, and 18+ are adults.

I'm OK with 15-year-old teens dating 16-17 years old persons in stories, including the initial stages of sex, and it's anything goes within the 16-19 age group and  from 18+, but I'd rather not read about full on sex between the youngest teens (13-14).

Of course, I'd probably feel quite differently if I was a young teen, so I'm not saying those stories aren't OK. Like @BlindAmbition I prefer reading about mature guys, because that's where I am in life.

Edited March 11, 2018 by Timothy M.

[CassieQ]

2 hours ago, Timothy M. said:

 

But they are - because teens cover 13 to 19, and to me 13-15 are children, 16-17 are young adults, and 18+ are adults.

I'm OK with 15-year-old teens dating 16-17 years old persons in stories, including the initial stages of sex, and it's anything goes within the 16-19 age group and  from 18+, but I'd rather not read about full on sex between the youngest teens (13-14).

Of course, I'd probably feel quite differently if I was a young teen, so I'm not saying those stories aren't OK. Like @BlindAmbition I prefer reading about mature guys, because that's where I am in life.

I get what you're saying and I agree that 13-14 falls into a murky area (I've never written a romantic relationship with someone younger than 15-16). 

Edited March 11, 2018 by CassieQ

[Brayon]

10 hours ago, Timothy M. said:

I just want to mention the 'kiddie porn' isn't exclusive to gay stories. It's sadly also prevalent in straight P.W.P. written erotica, and there the age gap is usually a factor rather than equal-aged teen sex.   But no one tries to say all straight guys are pedos due to this, whereas gay guys get hammered with the unfair stigma.  

You've hit on one of the problems that are still in the world today. Gays are not treated the same as Straights when it comes to certain topics. Sad to say, but we have to hold ourselves to a higher standard. Again that is my opinion. In our lawsuit-happy culture, at least in the US, and that bigotry still lives, not as much as it used to be, I would rather as a writer errs on the side of caution than to write a story where two underage kids are having graphic sexual encounters. Like I said, there is a difference, between two people exploring each other, and some of the stories I've run over the past few days. Working on a 1st-person PoV story, so decided to read such stories, and a friend suggested one that was on another site. That one was fine, but once I started looking at others that were recommended, that's when the "OMFG, WTF am I reading" started.

 

10 hours ago, CassieQ said:

You talk about not wanting to read about teenagers having sex, but by the end of your post you are referring to kids.  They are not the same.

I think Timothy M. said it best. The term Teenager covers a wide age range. To me, ages preteen to 14 should be a non-starter for any sort of sexual writing. 15-17, like age groups, and Hinted at and the "Fade to Black" method seems to be the better options, as a writer. It's what I do.

 

I have written two stories now that have teens in sexual situations. The first is my current project, and the MC and his "Friend with Benefits" both come out and state they are banging. Heck, one turns 18 and the other is 16 turning 17 a month later. I even had them discuss the law in chapter 4 that allows for close-in-age Adult/Teen couples under the Washington D.C. legal statutes. The other was a flash fiction short, and I can tell you now both kids were 15 and 16 respectfully because I was the 15-year-old. It was a narrative style retelling of my first time, at a BSA summer camp. Surprisingly it started as a prompt, and the First Line that was suggested was exactly the line I said to "T." when he said he found me attractive. It's been a while since I wrote that one, but I do believe it's fairly mild on the sex, and I used the FtB before it got really graphic. (Yeah, I know... "He without sin, cast the first stone.")

 

All I'm saying is my tolerance level for graphic sexual encounters between underage kids is has reached its limits. And that as writers and readers we should be mindful of the impact our art has on the perceptions of others. Especially when there is a double standard between Homosexuals and Heterosexuals, and we should hold ourselves to a higher standard. Writing about First Love, Feelings, Nostalgia, and the like is one thing. Having a 13-year-old shove his arm, elbow deep on someone, and other more Graphic sexual encounters are crossing the line.

Edited March 12, 2018 by BHopper2

[Page Scrawler]

I agree with @Cia and @Comicality. Sex is a part of our natural development as adolescents, and denying that aspect of our lives, even as fictional characters, just isn't healthy. That's not to say that everyone, fictional or real, thinks about sex all of the time, or that every story needs to contain sex; some people just have different priorities, or a stronger sense of curiosity or risk. There's a perfectly good series of books by Russell James (non-GA), in which an 11-year-old boy from a conservative family learns that the new family next-door are practicing nudists, behind closed doors. Some people might read such stories and consider them "graphic", but nothing truly "sexual" takes place, only frank honesty about the differences between human bodies.

Myself, I don't know how many times I thought about sex on a daily basis in middle school (and sometimes in primary school). But certainly never about "fisting" or "scat play". I didn't learn about those things until I was almost 20. It's one thing for a 13-year-old to fantasize about shoving his hand down another boy's pants, and quite another for that same boy to try to shove a zucchini in a dark place. A 13-year-old and a 14-year-old groping each other in the woods behind the house? Fine. A 15-year-old losing his V-card to his dad's 32-year-old coworker? A small measure of mild sex between two teenage boys close in age is perfectly okay with me. Non-consensual sex, or graphic sex that an adult would blush at, or relationships between people more than three years apart in age, are definitely NOT okay. But still, I guess the level of sex depends on what the author is comfortable with, the target audience, and the "mood" of the story.

[Myr]

On age stuff, the mileage varies by culture and location.  For example:

The youngest mother was 5-year-old Lina Medina from Peru; she gave birth to a 2.0 kg (4.4 lb) son, named Gerardo, by Cesarean section on May 14, 1939 in Lima.

 

This is not to say you should be writing about it!  But I know 50 year old children I wouldn't trust with a potato gun and 10 year olds you would swear are miniature adults.

That is why the rules are written the way they are.  The most important thing here is that if you don't like something, don't read it.

[Brayon]

5 minutes ago, Myr said:

But I know 50 year old children I wouldn't trust with a potato gun and 10 year olds you would swear are miniature adults.

That is why the rules are written the way they are.

This I can agree with. I've met more than one Ph.D. holder, I wouldn't trust with a 2-year-old because the 2-year-old would have been smarter. The maturity of the person counts for a lot.