timmy's poetry - 37. The End Is Never Gentle

You got cancer and it killed you

And you left me all alone

The pain my friends have been feeling

Brings it all right back home

I sat with you every day right after school

Watching cancer do unspeakable things to you

I think now, about your struggle to survive

Then, I wondered why you fought to stay alive

There is no choice though is there?

We grasp on to each and every second

Our programming can’t be canceled

No matter how much we try

Many times just ending it, has come to me

I never found the courage or strength

To make the cut as deep as it needed to be

Mostly I am thankful I didn’t have the guts

I think of Dylan’s—do not go gentle into that good night

The man had it wrong I think, for there isn’t any choice

Our nature made us fighters

So never can we go gentle, at the end of our lives

And you didn’t, did you Mum, you fought until the end

While I watched you suffer, screaming in my head

For your bastard god to give you some relief

Though he never sent an angel, no he never did

I fight my jealousy of those with parents still

I try to be that generous boy, you gave life to

And remember the lessons you taught me

To do right, no matter what’s done unto you

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