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    Mikiesboy
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The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

timmy's poetry - 37. The End Is Never Gentle

You got cancer and it killed you

And you left me all alone

The pain my friends have been feeling

Brings it all right back home

 

I sat with you every day right after school

Watching cancer do unspeakable things to you

I think now, about your struggle to survive

Then, I wondered why you fought to stay alive

 

There is no choice though is there?

We grasp on to each and every second

Our programming can’t be canceled

No matter how much we try

 

Many times just ending it, has come to me

I never found the courage or strength

To make the cut as deep as it needed to be

Mostly I am thankful I didn’t have the guts

 

I think of Dylan’s—do not go gentle into that good night

The man had it wrong I think, for there isn’t any choice

Our nature made us fighters

So never can we go gentle, at the end of our lives

 

And you didn’t, did you Mum, you fought until the end

While I watched you suffer, screaming in my head

For your bastard god to give you some relief

Though he never sent an angel, no he never did

 

I fight my jealousy of those with parents still

I try to be that generous boy, you gave life to

And remember the lessons you taught me

To do right, no matter what’s done unto you

 

**************************************************

so much pain lately.. so much sadness around me and others .. made me remember
Copyright © 2017 Mikiesboy; All Rights Reserved.
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The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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46 minutes ago, mollyhousemouse said:

:hug:

I"m not sure which is worse, to lose a parent the way you lost yours, or the way I lost mine.

 

Either way it sucks.

oh baby, id say yours is worse. and i'm sorry for that..  

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43 minutes ago, mogwhy said:

beautiful. it really doesn't matter how you lose your parents they are still gone. mine hated me. abused me. made my life a misery, but when they left, i still felt the loss. your words, tim, echo my heart, even 20 years later. thank you :hug:

yeah i get you .. my father is still here.. and even after what he did to me.. twice...i still have 'but he's my father' moments..  

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36 minutes ago, Reader1810 said:

Strong sentiments in these beautifully written words. They're going to stay with me a while...

 

 

PS: Your mum fought because she didn't want to leave you. :hug: 

thank you, Reader .. :heart: 

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13 minutes ago, Kitt said:

You could have been writing what I felt watching my mom pass slowly, also from cancer.  Hurts, but also feels good, to remember.

hugs, Kitt xoxo :hug:

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17 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

You loved, and were loved. And I think you are right; we cannot help but fight. Is it that we love, too? I only know that it hurts to watch, as you have done. Hugs and thanks.

Hugs for you too, Parker. <3 

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Little brother, I got another line from a song for you in my head, when I read the poem: The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.

Maybe it is the hardest thing, but you are braver and stronger and have courage to face it.

And you have a lot ones, who love you.

I am glad, you wrote that poem, even it is sad and angry. Thank you for this look in your heart, for this honor.

Love Sis

 

Edited by Lyssa
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8 hours ago, Parker Owens said:

You loved, and were loved. And I think you are right; we cannot help but fight. Is it that we love, too? I only know that it hurts to watch, as you have done. Hugs and thanks.

Maybe Parker, i don't know ... sometimes i feel like i know nothing.. much love to you while you watch.. xoxo

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8 hours ago, AC Benus said:

Quietly, round-around, you ask why she fought. The answer is that you were there for her, you and your brother, so a mother's love wants to be there for the two of you too. She's still with you -- you also mention the cuts not being deep enough. Perhaps your mom was staying your hand, knowing your 'good life', the one you have now, was yet ahead of you. 

 

Hugs XOXO 

Maybe AC.. maybe so... thank you.. love and hugs back xoxoxxo

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8 hours ago, MichaelS36 said:

tim, your words are sad, angry and honest. I know this day comes to us all and if I am honest, I dread it.

i know.. xoxo

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7 hours ago, Lyssa said:

Little brother, I got another line from a song for you in my head, when I read the poem: The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.

Maybe it is the hardest thing, but you are braver and stronger and have courage to face it.

And you have a lot ones, who love you.

I am glad, you wrote that poem, even it is sad and angry. Thank you for this look in your heart, for this honor.

Love Sis

 

that's so true, living is hard.. and the reasons beyond my understanding.

love you too sis.. thank you xoxoox

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7 hours ago, Aviana said:

Very nice and strong words tim...

I have never experienced the losing of a parent but in your poem I feel the pain n sorrow of losing them as well as the anger...but I loved your saying that our nature made us fighters...perhaps we r...

As usual...a great writing from u!!

Thanks Aviana... hope you don't have to lose one for a long time. 

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1 hour ago, Mikiesboy said:

that's so true, living is hard.. and the reasons beyond my understanding.

love you too sis.. thank you xoxoox

I don`t know if there are any reasons. But the lack of reason bears so many chances of giving you yourself a reason and I personally like that thought. It frees my soul.

Love Sis.

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1 hour ago, Mikiesboy said:

Thanks Aviana... hope you don't have to lose one for a long time. 

Hope so too...thankzz tim!!

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