Tales of the Underground: Blinded - 52. Sins

| Riley |

When I first lost my left eye no one seemed to care. I stumbled to the Saints in pain but all they did was pass me a blunt and some shots. They didn’t care, no one did. I was twelve years old, hurt and needed a family, but all I got was a gang. All that’s changed this time around. Now that eye’s gone, but I finally have the family I wished for. Mom, Dad, Aaron, Tak, Carter, Noah, hell, even Coach! They all showed up to check on me. They all believe in me.

As the next few days passed the pain finally began to fade. Every now and again a headache would hit, but none that were as intense as that first day back. The worst is over, and now it’s time to put the pieces back together.

“How you miss that shot!” I yelped at the T.V. as Carter, Tak and I watched the evening Bulls game.

“You miss that shot.” Carter pointed out with a shrug.

“Nah I don’t.” I tried to argue. “I never get that good looks.”

“No?” Carter asked glancing over to me. “Because I set you up pretty nicely.”

“He does.” Tak supported with a quick nod.

“Man who’s side you on?” I asked, staring down my younger brother.

“Don’t miss open shots and I’ll be on yours.” He explained looking back up at the T.V.

“You cold bruh.” I dismissed as a light knocking sounded out on the front door. “Door!” I called out, not even bothering to turn around.

“We know that.” Carter shook his head as Aaron made his way to the front of the house. “You’re lazy, you know that?”

“I’m recovering.” I shrugged, still staring at the T.V.

“You’re going to milk that for as long as you can, aren’t you?” Carter exhaled, taking a long look at the bandage on the side of my face. “You ready for that to come off tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” I quickly nodded my head. “Shit’s so uncomfortable.”

“Riley, there’s a visitor for you.” Aaron announced from the door of the game room.

As I turned around I couldn’t help but shake my head. “Why you here?”

“Riley!” Carter scolded, shooting me a stern look. “Come sit down with us Trey, we’re just watching the Bulls game.”

“Alright.” Trey accepted as both he and Aaron found seats in the large room. “How are you doing Riley?”

“Fine.” I grumbled, looking back up at the T.V.

I couldn’t help but shake my head at the piss poor performance on the T.V. “This team sucks,” I finally decided. “anyone care if I put on the cavs?”

“No.” Everyone sighed as I picked up the remote and changed the channel.

“They never should’ve traded Butler.” Trey spoke up from the coach near mine.

“That’s what I’m sayin!” I shouted, sitting up. “You see the absolute ass they put on the floor this year?”

“It’s terrible.” Trey shook his head. “Lavine is never going to be as good as Butler is.”

“Never.” I agreed with a shake of my head. “It’s sickenin.”

“What the hell are you two talking about?” Carter asked looking back and forth between us. “Lavine’s a great point guard, they got a lottery pick and last year’s fifth round pick.”

“And how’s that goin for them?” I asked, turning to him.

“You don’t get a player like Jimmy Butler too often.” Trey shook his head. “I mean it’s bad enough they ruined D-Rose’s career.”

“A-fuckin-men!” I shouted. “They should be charged for what they did to that man.”

“He kept getting hurt, what were they supposed to do?” Carter asked, stupefied by our conversation.

“Give him proper medical attention.” Trey tried to argue. “It’s like they just threw him to the wolves.”

“And then that man had to take a break from the game because he said he don’t love it anymore” I added in. “They literally killed how much he loves basketball.”

“Makes me sick.” Tak added in, piling onto our conversation.

“No, no, not you too.” Carter turned to the boy. “Don’t listen to them, I, this is the stupidest conversation I’ve ever heard.”

“And what team are you a fan of?” Trey asked, turning towards Carter.

“Bulls.” I quickly answered for him. “He just gotta be difficult bout it.”

“I am a Bulls fan,” He admitted with a nod. “but I’m also a basketball fan. I don’t think that’s being difficult.”

“I never see you wearin anythin Bulls.” Tak analyzed, beginning to stare him down.

“I-I’m done with this conversation.” Carter shook his head. “I think I’ve lost brain cells from it.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at overdramatic he was being. I swear I almost forgot how much fun it was to push his buttons! “I didn’t know you were a Bulls fan.” Trey suddenly began, looking over to me.

“Don’t get him started.” Aaron groaned, not even bothering to look up from his phone.

“I love the Bulls, grew up watchin them whenever I could.” I nodded.

“Was always on in the clubhouse.” Tak added in, drawing a curious stare from Trey.

“How you from Missouri and wind up one?” I asked, trying to ignore Tak’s words.

“The only close teams were the Grizzlies and the Thunder.” He began to explain. “The Grizzlies are just, the Grizzlies, and I hate Westbrook, so the Bulls were the closest option that made sense.”

“Alright then.” I nodded my head, amazed that we had actually found something to bond over.

“I’ll watch the Cavaliers all day though.” Trey began, looking up at the T.V. “LeBron is from another world.”

“He a monster.” I quickly nodded my head.

“Takbir!” The voice of our mother sounded through the house.

“Shit.” The young boy grunted, jumping to his feet.

“If you’re not in the shower within the next five minutes you’ll be grounded all weekend!” She ordered from the living room.

“I’m goin!” He shouted back before running out of the room.

“Another one of your brothers?” Trey asked, carefully observing the situation.

“The one Riley brought back.” Aaron nodded his head, talking as though Trey had heard the stories.

“That’s pretty cool, I don’t know if,” Trey began.

“We don’t gotta get into it.” I quickly shook my head.

“Oh, alright.” Trey accepted, looking back over to me. “So then when do you think you’ll be back with the team?” He asked, accepting the change of conversation.

“End of next week.” I nodded my head. “I get my bandages off tomorrow, so I’ll be good to go soon.”

“Take your time.” Carter warned from next to me.

“Yeah, we’ve got it locked down on our end.” Trey tried to support.

“You just wanna keep the startin spot for as long as you can.” I couldn’t help but tease.

“Yeah.” He confessed in a laugh.

“Make the most of it.” I warned as our eyes locked. “Cause that shit’s mine.”

“That’s fine with me.” Trey nodded. “Coach is talking about moving me to small forward if you and Carter can score enough to make up for it.”

“Alright then.” I nodded my head, thinking over the option. “I like that idea.”

“So you don’t have to play defense?” Carter asked in a sigh.

“So I can score more.” I shrugged with a laugh.

“Guess we’ll have to wait and see,” Trey said as he rose to his feet. “but for now I better get going.”

“Why don’t you walk him out Riley?” Carter suggested, hoping to capitalize on our bonding.

“Aight.” I groaned, standing up and showing him the way out. “I thought you said your parent’s don’t let you out if it ain’t basketball.”

“This is basketball.” He quickly nodded his head. “I’m checking on a teammate.”

“Why you really come?” I asked in a sigh. “To see how long you had left as starter?”

“To see how long I have left without you picking fights with me.” He teased in a friendly jab. “But seriously, I came to see how you were doing. I’m serious when I said I want us to get off to a new start.” I shot him a cautious look as I heard those words. “You’re my teammate and friends with my friends. We’re going to have to get along eventually.”

“You keep talkin bout the bulls and we’ll get along just fine.” I finally let out as I opened the front door.

“Sounds good to me.” He laughed as he reached out a fist and we quickly bumped them. “I’ll see you at school next week.”

“Yeah.” I nodded my head. “I’ll see you then.”

Maybe I was wrong about him. Maybe I just didn’t like that he was trying to take my spot. Or, maybe I wasn’t. Maybe I had good reason to trust my instincts. Maybe he’s up to something. There’s only one way to find out, and call me crazy but I’m going to have my guard up the whole time.

The rest of the night seemed to fly by. Hell, Noah even showed up for a little while! Slowly but surely I’m starting to feel more and more like a normal teenager, I’m close, I know I am. There are just a few more road blocks I need to put to bed first. The final nails I need to hammer into the coffin of who I was.

--

--

When we arrived to the eye doctor the next day I was nervous, but Nancy was with me. She tried her hardest to comfort me, but knew it was just something I had to go through.

“Alright Riley,” The doctor began as he grew closer. “how about we finally take off those bandages.”

“Yeah.” I slowly nodded as he lightly grabbed the tape on my head. With a gentle tug he began to pull it off until finally, I could feel the air against the left side of my head again.

My mom leaned back slightly at the sight, but quickly tried to disguise it. “Can I get a mirror?” I asked, before he could say anything.

“I don’t know if,”

“I wanna see it.” I insisted as he let out a sigh and reached behind him. As he flashed the mirror towards me I couldn’t help but gulp. It wasn’t as bad as I thought, but still, having that empty socket, it just, bothered me.

“Okay,” He began, quickly putting the mirror back down and picking up a small box. “This is your prosthetic eye. It’s sculpted specifically for you, so please be careful with it.” He warned. “Only wash it in tepid water, and under no circumstances should you place it under running water.”

I tried my hardest to follow his instructions, but was thankful when I saw Nancy taking notes. I don’t have to go through this alone, and knowing that started to make everything feel okay. All the fears and anxieties I had about it seemed to fade as she asked just as many questions as me.

I’m not supposed to take it out too often and if I can handle it should just leave it in over the eye patch. I can play basketball with it in, but need to wear my mask or eyewear over it when I do. It’ll move on its own, but won’t be as bad as people think.

Yet even with all of that in mind I couldn’t help but reach up and rub near it. It seemed to itch and sting in every possible way as we made our way home.

“He said not to touch it.” Mom warned as we pulled into our driveway.

“I know,” I groaned, dropping my hand back to my side. “but it sucks, and my face already hurts on top of that.”

“It’s really that bad?” She sighed as we made our way into the house.

“Yeah.” I insisted with a nod. “It’s like someone just shoved somethin in there!”

“Alright, hold on.” She instructed, quickly walking up the stairs.

“Woh!” Aaron shouted as he walked out of the game room. “Riley, you, you look, just, woh.”

“I wanna see!” Tak shouted as he ran out of the room and to my side. “Wow!” He exclaimed looking up at my face. “What’s it made of?”

“I don’t know.” I shook my head, trying my hardest to fight the urge to scratch it.

“It looks really good.” Aaron nodded his head. “Carter’s going to love it.”

“Don’t get too used to it for now.” Mom announced as she walked back down the stairs. “Your father wanted me to wait until he got home to give this to you, but I’m sure he’ll understand.” She explained, offering me a small box.

“Alright.” I cautiously accepted taking it from her and pulling it open. Inside laid a leather black eye patch with a stitched line across it to add some design. “Woh.” I exhaled, pulling it out and taking a long look at it. “This is pretty dope.”

“We had a feeling you’d like it.” She proudly smiled, handing me the case for my prosthetic eye. “Just be careful taking it out.” She warned as we swapped boxes and I reached up to my eye. “and when your sockets fully healed you’re giving the prosthetic a real try.”

I nodded but dug into the socket just like my doctor had taught me. Before I knew it the prosthetic popped out and into my hand.

“Holy crap.” Aaron grunted as he turned away. “I’m gonna go barf.” He announced running out of the room.

“That was awesome!” Tak shouted, still by my side. “You just pulled your eye out like it was nothing!”

“You know it ain’t real, right?” I checked, showing him the small curved piece.

“It’s not a ball?” He asked, taking a closer look at it.

“Nah.” I shook my head, leaning down and showing him the socket. “I don’t think it’d stay in if it was.”

“That’s crazy!” He exclaimed, as I placed the prosthetic into its case and traded it for the patch.

It took some adjusting at first, but when I finally got the patch over my socket felt better. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t comfortable either, but it was a lot easier on the socket. Plus, I kind of like the look of it better.

Aaron said it made me look even angrier, while Tak seemed to love it. He tried his hardest to avoid saying I look like a pirate, but I know he was thinking it. When Dad finally got home he agreed it was a good look for me. Nancy held onto hope that I’d wear the prosthetic option, but I think we all know what I’m going to prefer.

--

--

The next morning I found myself on a ride that would change my life. I’d have had nightmares the night before if I could sleep, but found myself only able to stare at the ceiling and wonder what the next day held. I mean this is it, this is the moment I’ve been waiting for my whole life. I finally get to meet David Walker. I finally get to confront the man who left me. I finally get to confront my father.

It was a weird feeling entering a prison. This is what my life would’ve become if the James’ didn’t find me. I’d have done something stupid on the streets to wind up here. I know I would’ve. Dad must’ve been thinking the same thing, because before I knew it I felt his hand lightly grab my arm then let go.

There was a long process of paper work and name dropping before we were finally allowed in a rundown packed waiting room. In a lot of ways it reminded me of the Southside. Neglected and abandoned, just like the men and women it held inside.

“You sure you want to go through with this?” Dad asked looking over to me with a concerned look.

“Yeah.” I forced a nod, trying my hardest to hide my nerves.

“I’ll be right behind you the whole time.” He tried to comfort. “If at any point you’ve had enough, just let me know.”

“Alright.” I nodded once more before thinking it over. “You’ve met him before, what’s he like?”

Dad carefully thought it over before turning to me. “Rough.” He exhaled as a guard finally waived us over. She checked us one last time with a security wand before leading us through a thin long hallway.

As I walked into the quiet visiting room I couldn’t help but tremble. Rows of booths ran the length of the room, filled with people visiting their loved ones or friends. This is it, it’s all lead to this moment. Walter squeezed my shoulder one last time, showing that he would there for me if I needed. I nodded towards the guard on the other side of the glass of our booth and took a seat.

The second the other door opened I could feel my heart freeze. Out walked a guard pulling along a man by his chains. The second my eyes locked with the man we both froze. At first I didn’t notice any resemblance but as he got closer started to see some. The guard gave him a good tug, forcing him to the booth I was sitting at.

With a trembling hand I unhooked the phone next to me and forced it to my ear. The man hesitated at first, but finally forced himself to do the same. “What do you want?” he growled, staring me directly in the eyes.

“You know what I want.” I forced out, trying my best to match his intensity.

He let out a dismissive laugh. “You want your daddy?”

“Nah.” I interrupted. “I already got that from a real man.”

“Then what do you want, Riley?” He asked, calling me by name.

“I want to know why you left.” I forced out. “I want to know why you think you so special you could just leave a woman with your kid.”

“You pulled all those strings, and forced me to sit down with you for that?” He mocked, examining me closely. “You were a mistake. There’s not much more to say than that. I saw the pregnancy test and I was gone.”

“Bull shit.” I interrupted once more. “I’ve seen my birth certificate, I know you signed it. So try again.”

He snarled his lip and took a second to recalibrate. “You’re an ugly mother fucker, you know that?”

“By the looks of it it doesn’t seem like it gets any better.” I shot back, refusing to waiver under his pressure. “I got all day man, you wanna sit around here like a child and talk shit go ahead.”

He scoffed and shook his head. “Oh no, being stuck here all day? But I’ve got all those appointments.”

“Walker.” The guard scolded overhearing what he was saying. “Answer his questions or miss lunch and dinner. Your choice.”

The man on the other side of the glass began to curse under his breath as his frustration grew. “What’s the matter David?” I taunted. “Going to miss an appointment?”

“Shut up kid, I never should’ve had you.” He grunted, leaning closer to the glass.

I felt my heart begin to beat faster, but leaned in the same way he did. “You making the mistake of thinkin you’re in charge, that you got some type of upper hand over me. But you ain’t nothin. You couldn’t even choose whether you got to meet me or not.” I scolded, keeping my eyes on his. “You gonna answer my questions then you gonna rot away in a cell, where no one will ever remember you.”

“Yeah? And what makes you so great?” He asked, leaning back.

I reached over and pulled up my left sleeve exposing my gang markings. “I ran the almighty saints. After my mom got killed I joined and became their heart. I ran parts of the Southside, and when I had enough I ripped them down. I’ll do the same with you.”

“I’m not scared of you.” He defiantly forced out.

“That’s a mistake.” I shook my head, reaching up and raising my eye patch. “All of this, all of these scars, they’re cause of you. They’re cause you wasn’t man enough to take care of your kid. So start talkin, cuase I’m mad as hell.”

“We have Saints in here.” He said, keeping a straight look on his face. “They’re not so tough.”

“Who you got in there?” I provoked, leaning back.

“Too many to name.” He growled.

“You got Ro in there?” I asked, but when I noticed him hesitate knew the answer. “You do.” I nodded my head. “Wonder what he would do if he found out we’re related.”

“You wouldn’t.” He sneered, nearly pushing his face against the glass.

“Fuckin’ try me.” I dared as our stare down grew more intense. “Now start talkin.”

“What do you want to hear?” He shook his head in aggravation. “That we loved you? We were both junkies. We met in a drug den, then fucked the same night and a few months later she came to me pregnant as hell.”

“What happened next?” I asked, trying my hardest to keep him talking.

“You.” He replied, leaning back in his chair. “I guess we tried to make it work for a little while, but it all fell apart and we went our separate ways.”

“You know what happened to her next?” I asked, but got no response. “She was killed in front of me. I had to join the Saints to survive. All my sins, all my scars, all my pain, they’re because of you. If you had been there,”

“If I had been there the same shit would’ve happened!” He snapped in a loud voice. “I’m not a hero Riley. I don’t know how your mistakes are my fault. You want to know why I didn’t want to meet you?” He asked as I nodded my head. “Because you need to be better than I was. You need to forget about me and your mom. But by the looks of it you’re more of the same. You’re going to be a self-destructive addict just like me.”

“I ain’t.” I shook my head.

“You will.” He insisted. “I bet you already drink and smoke weed.” He dared as I grew quiet. “And in a few years I’ll see you in these prison halls just like me.”

I felt my hand ball into a fist but quickly let it go. “What a disappointment you are.” I exhaled in a deep breath. “I was here thinking you’d be some bad ass, you just a drug addict that killed someone. What was it? A dealer who wouldn’t sell to you? Or were you just high and lost control of yourself?” I asked but got no answer. “That’s what I thought. How long you been in here?”

“None of your business.” He grunted.

“How long?” I asked, looking back at my real dad.

“Fourteen years.” He explained, looking up and staring at the man on the other side of the glass. “Can I talk to him?”

“Sure.” I nodded, handing him the phone.

“You had a second chance here.” Walter began. “You could’ve had a relationship with your biological son. You could’ve righted your wrongs, and gave yourself some peace of mind.”

“You mean give Riley peace of mind.” David shot back.

“No, Riley will be just fine. He has friends and family who love him.” Walter dismissed. “I’m talking about you. You chose to be alone in a prison cell for the rest of your life. Remember that when you’re laying awake tonight.” He finished, handing me back the phone.

“I’m done here.” I shook my head, but as I went to hang up noticed movement in the booth next to us.

“You had a visitor Walker?” The fellow prisoner asked. “Ain’t that adorable.” But as the prisoner looked to me we both froze. “Imagine that.” He remarked. “Cy Walker. We all gonna feel stupid for not putting those pieces together.”

“Who’s that?” Walter quickly asked, crouching down next to me.

“They call him Era,” I explained as my heart began to race. “he was another lieutenant in the Saints.”

“What happened to your eye Cy?” He shouted from behind David as one of the guards charged him. “You fuckin rat!” He shouted as a guard shoved him up against the wall. “You took everything from us Cy, and now, now we gonna take something from you!”

“What’s that mean?” David demanded into the phone.

“I told you,” I forced out, unable to stop looking at Era. “I collapsed the Saints.”

“I thought you were being dramatic!” He shouted as panic entered his voice. “You’ve killed me Riley!” He screamed as another guard began to pull him away. “You fucking bastard! You killed me!” He shouted as the phone fell from his hand.

My heart kicked it into overdrive but before I could say anything Walter placed his hand on my shoulder. “We have to tell someone, he has to be transferred, they, they’ll,”

“It’s alright.” Walter tried to comfort. “We’ll talk to the guards.”

“They’re not going to care.” I shook my head.

“Then we’ll make some calls.” He said, forcing me to look him in the eyes. “You didn’t put him in prison. You didn’t surround him with criminals. He did. This is not your fault.”

“But what if,”

“But nothing Riley.” He interrupted with a stern look. “I love that your instinct is to protect him even with everything he just said to you, and if we can we will. But you know how the world works, you know that sometimes, sometimes,”

“Sometimes karma’s a bitch.” I finished for him in a sigh.

“Yeah.” He nodded his head. “Now let’s go try and get him transferred.” He exhaled.

At first when we tried to explain the situation to the man at the desk he didn’t believe us. Yet once they saw the tattoo on my arm they quickly snapped into action. For his sake I hope they can help him in time. For his sake I hope they can stop the inevitable from happening. But even then, he’ll be a hunted man. Word will spread from gang to gang of the snitches’ relative, and prison justice will be brought to him. I’ve spent my whole life paying for his sins, and now he’ll pay for mine.