Brandon Smiling: From the Billy Chase Chronicles (2) - 47. Entry 47

Saturday

Well, not a whole lot to write about while I’m here on this plane.

My Dad is sitting right next to me, so I don’t want to get too ‘interesting’ with what I’m writing, but it passes the time. We’re not getting back until late so I guess most of my day is going to be spent up here in the clouds or in airports. We have to make a two hour stop-over in Denver yet again. I’ve never understood why we have to change flights just to cross the country, but I guess there’s a reason. Maybe, I forget just how huge America really is and it really does need a couple of planes to get us from the coast to the lakes.

As many times and as far away as I’ve got to travel in my life, I never quite get used to plane rides. The constant hissing whine of the jet engines, the number of bodies next to me all in one place, the smell of recycled air, and the strange sights out of the window looking at the tops of clouds and the patchwork of farms and towns down below. That was something. I managed to score a seat next to the window this time. It’s, actually, kind of a distraction from writing at the moment.

It’s also a distraction from how nervous I am going home, too.

I’m pretty nervous about that. Not so much the going home part as the confronting Billy part. I know it’s gotta happen sooner or later, but…I hope it’s a bit later! I’ve got to screw up the courage to tell him the truth about how I feel about…things.

I’ll also feel the need to apologize about my running out on him when I left. That wasn’t one of my brightest moments and I get that now.

Anyway, we’re coming up on our landing in Denver. I’ll write more later.

~

Well, we’re back home now, finally!

As nice as San Diego was, it still feels good to be home and back in my own room with some real privacy! I love my Dad, but I love my privacy too! It’s 10 PM here right now and I’m pretty exhausted from traveling. It’s too late to call Billy and, just, talk things out with him tonight. Not that I’d have the courage to do that yet, but I can’t really feel guilty about not calling when it’s this late. I’m sure his Mom and Dad wouldn’t appreciate me calling at all hours of the night to talk to him. Plus, I think that our conversation needs to be face to face. Billy took me aside and told me how he feels. I need to do the same thing! Fair is fair, right?

Should I go over to his place tomorrow or invite him here? I don’t think that would be smart. I know my Dad is going to be home all day tomorrow and I’d rather not have him around while me and Billy are thrashing things out. Same thing with going over to his place. I’m pretty sure his Mom and Dad will be home so, same logic applies there.

This might have to wait until Monday when we can both get off alone on the school lawn again, or something. We’ll both need to be alone for this, of course. No friends and no distractions, just Billy and me alone together!

It might even be safer to do this after school. That way there’s no possibility of anyone coming up on us at that critical moment!

God, you’d think I was planning a bank robbery with how I’m trying to time everything and plan this out! Why do I have to feel like I’m committing a crime just to return the love that someone is trying to give me? Maybe, if I wasn’t so chicken-shit, I’d not feel like I have to plan my every move with the carefulness of a brain surgeon.

Well, there’s no sense grinding on about it tonight. Like I said, I’m tired from the flight.

Tomorrow’s Sunday. Maybe, I’ll call tomorrow. Maybe, I should wait for him to call me? Yeah, maybe he should call me tomorrow. He’ll know I’m home. So, I’ll just chill about things and let Billy reach out to me. I don’t know if that’s smart or not, but…it makes me less anxious.

I should check on Stevie, though. I’d hate to not be home to get Billy’s call, but I’ve been almost as anxious to see Stevie as I have Billy. Things weren’t going so great for him before I left. I need to see how he’s doing. I’d like to know how his eye is healing up and if he’s taken any more bruises this past week.

I’ll make plans to do that, then. He’s been my best friend really. I haven’t had one of those since JOEseph. Maybe, we can go to the skate park and visit with Benji and his skater crew. I can wait for Billy’s call when I get home. If he leaves me a message then I will call him, I promise!

This is Brandon the Social Brain Surgeon (God help my patients!)