Gap Year - 91. Chapter 91

April 12, 2004

The Tonto

Ostia, Italy

Will

“Those guys are a lot of fun, but I’m really glad they speak English,” Travis said, as we reboarded the ship. We’d spent the day with Berto and Vinnie, going around and seeing the sights of Rome, and tossing the obligatory coin into the Trevi fountain. We’d dropped them off and gone to Via Condotti to pick up Travis’s clothes that had needed altering, and now we were back here, anxious to have some down time before we went out tonight.

“I am too, otherwise I would have had to translate for you,” I said.

“I didn’t even know you spoke Italian,” he said. “When did you get so fucking smart?”

“I’ve always been smart, but now I’m fucking smart,” I said. “I’ll prove it to you when we get back to the cabin.”

He laughed. “Cool,” he said simply.

“Welcome back,” Marta said, greeting us as we tramped aboard the ship. “Would you like something to eat?”

“That would be good,” I said. It was five o’clock, and dinner happened later here. That left a sizable gap between lunch and supper. “Let’s eat, then we’ll escape to our cabin.” In this case, food took priority over sex.

He chuckled. “Let me put this stuff away. I’ll be right back.” Travis went down and put his bags in our cabin, while I sat in the dining room and enjoyed a gin and tonic.

“You are back,” Stef said, as he strolled into the dining room.

“We just got back this minute,” I said. “Travis went down to hang up the clothes we picked up.”

“I want to see how his suit looks on him,” Stef insisted.

“Then when he gets back here, we’ll send his ass right back to the cabin to put it on,” I said, making him smile.

“And how are you doing?” he asked me.

“I’m doing really well,” I said honestly. “It was pretty tough to deal with his vanishing, and now that he’s back, I feel a combination of relief and happiness.”

“There have been times in the past when you have worried that you have controlling tendencies similar to those of your father,” Stef said. His pause told me he was waiting for a response before going on.

“I have,” I agreed cautiously.

“I would ask you to ponder how your father would have acted if he had been in your situation,” Stef said.

I thought about that and started laughing. “He would have lost his fucking mind,” I said, and Stef joined my riotous laughter. “I wonder how much of that is my having confidence in Travis?”

“I think that is important, but that does not preclude the fact that you willingly backed up and gave him the room to try and handle things,” Stef said. “You gave him a way to ask you for help with that question regarding the color of your surfboards, but you did not intervene until he sent you a response that indicated he needed it.” I nodded slowly to thank him for pointing out that I wasn’t a crazed control freak like my father.

“We had a big fight a couple of days ago,” I said. “He was mad because he thought we had used our knowledge of Buck’s problems to swoop in like vultures and destroy his family legacy.”

“We were trying to help him out!” Stef said, upset and outraged.

“Your reaction is a bit calmer than mine,” I said, making him chuckle.

“I suspect it was,” Stef said. “Did you resolve this issue?”

“I told him why I was pissed off, then I ignored him for most of the day while I let my anger cool off. He wrote me a note of apology,” I said. I described the certificate he had given me, and Stef smiled at how cute that was. “He was probably still freaked out by everything that happened, and jumped to the wrong conclusion.”

“And put his foot in his mouth,” Stef concluded.

“Totally,” I agreed. “I feel so bad for him, Stef. He’s lived in this world where, besides his grandfather, he’s only been able to rely on himself. He’s got all these layers he keeps hidden from the world.”

“He must have become accustomed to being alone,” Stef said.

“He has,” I agreed. “He let me read his journals, the ones he kept while he was in hiding. It’s like he almost became comfortable being isolated.”

“That is indeed unfortunate,” Stef said sadly. “His introversion probably made that less of a hell than it would be for extroverts like us.”

“No shit,” I said, chuckling at how true that was. “But in a way, that’s one of the things that makes our relationship so special.”

“Indeed?”

I nodded. “He will open up to me about things, and he’ll do it voluntarily. I guess that’s why it gets frustrating when he leaves out important things.”

“Because you are ecstatic that he has chosen you to be his confidant, and when he does not confide in you, you feel betrayed?” Stef asked. I sat there and thought about that for a minute.

“You’re trying to tell me that’s unreasonable, that everyone has a right to their privacy, and that I should be happy for what he shares with me,” I accused.

“I think perhaps you have summarized my point but made it a bit more condemning than it was meant to be,” he said. “I think that you are good with Travis, and good for him, but I think you should remember that you cannot know everything that he thinks, nor would you want to.”

“Good advice from you, as always,” I said, pondering his words. The door to the dining room opened up and Travis came in, wearing his new blue suit. I was impressed at how well he’d read this situation.

“I wanted to show you how it turned out,” he said to Stef.

“He was going to make you go back and put it on so you could model it for us, so you saved yourself a trip,” I joked.

“That was very thoughtful of you, Travis,” Stef said, and gave me a dirty look for my comment. “This fits you perfectly! I was worried that they would leave too much room in the waist, but instead it perfectly accentuates your form.”

“Thanks,” Travis said. “I can’t thank you enough for all the time and effort you spent on helping me out.”

“When you go down to your cabin, before you take that garment off, look in the mirror and contemplate how good it makes you look,” Stef said. “That is my reward.”

He gave Stef a really sweet hug, then went down to change again. “You really did a good job,” I said.

“I sense that he is a good and caring person embroiled in a toxic situation,” Stef said. “I am most impressed with how well you two try to watch out for each other.”

“Like we discussed, he’s an introvert, and likes to stay home and relax, or socialize in smaller groups,” I said. “He did really well when we went out with Berto and Vinnie, but after a while, I can just watch the energy fade from him after too many interactions with people.”

“I understand how that must feel, although I am a social beast, so I do not have the need to run off and isolate myself to recharge,” Stef said.

“I feel that way sometimes, but not all that much,” I said. “Most of our family is like that, which is why, when he’s around us, I try to be sensitive to how he’s doing.”

“And when you see him exerting himself to remain in a social environment with you, recognize he is doing the same thing for you,” Stef said.

“You’re right,” I agreed. “We both watch out for each other. I think this is probably my first important relationship where I felt I wasn’t putting in all the effort,” I said.

“Indeed?” he asked. “I think that both Tony and Zach did nice things for you.”

“Doing nice things for me isn’t the same thing as trying to figure out what I need and giving it to me,” I pointed out abruptly, then mellowed. “You’re right, they did. I think the big difference is that it’s wrapped up in who we are, as a couple, as opposed to something Tony or Zach would remember to do from time to time.”

“It is more intense,” Stef concluded.

“Yes,” I agreed, then changed the topic. “I had a talk with Casey before I went to Hawaii, and he suggested that I am trying to cram myself into a standard, heterosexual-like relationship and force monogamy when I don’t work that way.”

“Your father shared some of that with me,” he said. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” I said. “Dad told us about your pizza analogy, which was awesome.”

“I’m glad you thought so,” Stef said. “You have been thinking about this for a while now. Do you think Casey is right?”

“I do,” I said. “He said that I tend to consider my relationships in isolation, so that they don’t necessarily affect each other, and that probably means I’d do well with a more open relationship.”

“And now you understand why I have found them so rewarding, because I am the same way,” he said. I smiled and was so happy to have something in common with this awesome man.

“Only when Travis is around, I don’t want that. I really only want him,” I said.

“I felt like that when I was with Greg, at least in the beginning,” Stef said. “It was easy for me to be with just him.”

“You said in the beginning,” I said, more of a question.

“Probably around the time that we had that encounter with Miranda in the woods, my feelings started to change,” he said. “It was not a sudden thing, it was more of a gradual decline.”

“That must have been tough,” I said.

“It was very difficult,” Stef confirmed. “I had no sexual outlet other than Greg, and while I was faithful, with one exception, he was not. In retrospect, I began to feel more and more trapped and isolated.”

“Do you think if you’d had an open relationship, things would have been better?” I asked.

He pondered that for a second. “I do not. I do not think that Greg could have handled it, and he would have made me feel even worse for having trysts.”

“I don’t know if Travis can handle that either,” I said.

“You will be going to Harvard in the fall, and the two of you will be separated,” Stef said. “You can either try to maintain your exclusive relationship or you can make it more open. There are risks to either strategy.”

“I can see that,” I agreed.

“If you open your relationship up, you risk losing him to someone who will be completely devoted to him,” Stef said. “Or even if that does not happen, you risk being in a relationship that does not make you happy. On the other hand, if you are committed, any transgressions will most likely be significantly damaging.”

“That’s the big dilemma,” I said. “With us, though, I sense that bond is deeper, and that no matter what, we’ll be connected. Miranda Buck said that someday I might end up being her son-in-law. I can honestly see that.”

“So can I, but you are both only seventeen. I think the next few years will help both of you discover whether that is your destiny or not,” he said. “There is something else to consider.”

“What?” I asked.

“You have been in several relationships, and have experienced being with many different men,” he said. I frowned at him, because I was getting defensive about his giving me shit for my sex life. We’d had some hellish battles about that in the past. “As we are in Rome, memories of your sexual past are perhaps more vivid.” He said that last line as a joke, referring to my performance at the strip club, and that made me laugh.

“Alright, you made your point,” I said.

“From what you have told me, Travis has not made that journey,” he said.

“Do you think that’s something that all guys have to go through?” I asked, being philosophical.

“I do not,” Stef said emphatically. “But if it is, that will make a formal commitment while you are in college even tougher for Travis.”

“Because he’ll want to explore, and at the same time, he won’t want to hurt me,” I concluded. He nodded, but before he could respond more fully, our conversation was interrupted when Travis came back, now wearing shorts and a t-shirt. He sat down at the table with us, and that was evidently the signal for the staff to bring us our snacks.

“Will told me that you acquired Buck Industries,” Travis said to Stef. “I was wondering how that worked. I hope it’s okay for me to ask you about it.” It was obvious that he was so nervous he was freaking out, and it made sense that he would approach this topic carefully, since we’d had that massive fight about it.

“As we got involved to help you achieve your goal of acquiring the company, I think it is very appropriate that you know what is happening,” Stef said. “We contacted the group of their creditors after our conversation with Will about your plans, and Bradley was able to negotiate a deal to acquire the assets of the company for $600 million.”

“I thought that the company was worth more than a billion dollars,” Travis said.

“You are lucky it is not, because now it is cheaper for you to acquire,” Stef joked. “With a troubled company, assets are often valued at less than their true worth. It is a symptom of the company’s distress. It is also important to remember that a company is usually worth more as a going concern than the value of its pieces.”

“So since the company had been run into the ground, and wasn’t viable, that value was lost?” I asked.

“That is correct,” Stef said. “I also discovered that many properties had been sold off to try and stave off Buck’s creditors.”

“I wonder which properties he got rid of,” Travis said with dread.

“I have a list I will give you after you are done eating,” Stef said.

“You said you bought the assets, but not the company,” Travis said. “Why?”

“In that way, we did not assume the liabilities of the company. We do not know what kind of arrangements your father may have made, what kind of agreements, and in this way we are not obligated to honor them,” he said. “That was especially important when it came to the employment of Buck’s executives.”

“They’re all my father’s henchmen,” Travis said bitterly. “Scum.”

“They are not part of the company anymore,” Stef said. “Bradley did not see talent in any of them worth keeping.”

“That was smart,” Travis said. “So who’s running things?”

“We have people in our company who are trained to go in and deal with companies we acquire, when the management of that company is inadequate,” Stef said. “There is a lady named Gail Braxton whom we have tapped for that role. She is now in the process of pulling things together and making sure there is a good team to run the properties we have acquired.”

“That is awesome!” Travis said. “I was really worried that, even if I was able to buy the company out, I wouldn’t know what to do with it.”

“Within thirty days, Ms. Braxton will produce an evaluation of what we have bought, along with recommendations on how to handle things going forward,” Stef said. “My thought was that you would be in that meeting, and after that we will have a good enough handle on things to work out an arrangement for you to acquire those assets.”

“I feel like such an idiot,” Travis said.

“Why?” Stef asked gently, his tone reminding me what a caring and loving person he was.

“I had this big plan to be a hero and save the company, and I completely fucked that up,” he said. “And this just shows how badly I worked this out, because even if I have those properties, I have no idea what to do with them.”

“We already talked about how if you’d worked with me on this, it would have gone a lot smoother,” I said, perhaps a bit too bitterly. My suspicion was confirmed by a dirty look I got from Stef. I resolved to be less of a bitch.

“First of all, even the best plans can be derailed,” Stef said. “You must view events like this as experience builders. Think about what went wrong and how you could have changed the outcome. From that you will learn.”

“I’ll do that,” Travis said, his mind now whirling.

“And you do not have to worry about what to do with those properties or the company for the immediate future, but I think you should be involved,” Stef said.

“You want him involved so he can learn how things work,” I concluded.

“Will is correct,” Stef said. “Was taking over the company and running it something that you wanted to do?”

Travis sighed. “I don’t really know what I want to do,” he said, referring not just to this situation, but to his life goals. “It seemed like an option, but I don’t know if I’d like doing it. I sure as fuck don’t want to turn into my father.”

“I think that is a credible objective, but I do not see the same traits in you that I see in him,” Stef said. “Curtis Buck is sociopathic. You are just seventeen.” That made all of us laugh.

“I know what you should do,” I said. They both looked at me blankly. “For a career.”

“What?” Travis asked, with dread. “Is this where you tell me I should be your concubine, and focus on satisfying all of your carnal desires?” I really laughed at that, especially since he was picking up a bit of Grand’s more flowery speech.

“I thought that was a given,” I said, but they stared at me, wanting an answer. “I think you should be an actor.”

“An actor?” Stef asked, surprised, then worried he might offend Travis. “You certainly have the looks for it.”

“You shared your journals with me, and you talked about how you were playing a role,” I said. “Seems to me you’ve been doing that for a lot of your life.”

“I guess I have been doing that, but I never thought about actually being an actor,” he said, then thought about it. “It actually sounds like fun.”

“I am curious,” Stef said, interjecting himself into the topic. “What part of acting appeals to you?” Travis took some time to think before he responded, which clearly impressed Stef.

“The ability to turn myself into a character and convince everyone else that’s who I am,” Travis said. “I think it would be pretty satisfying to pull that off.”

Stef smiled. “I am glad to hear you say that. If you had talked about the fame and celebrity of being a movie star, I would not encourage you.”

“That stuff sounds like the downside to me,” Travis said. “I’m not sure how I’d handle it anyway. I mean, I can only stand to be around groups of people for so long.”

“I’ll bet if you really like doing it, that won’t be a problem,” I said, remembering how well he did when he was focused.

“That’s interesting,” Travis said. “I’ll think about that.”

“Let us just play a what-if scenario,” Stef said to Travis. “Let us pretend that you discover you love acting, and that is what you want to do. How would you want to handle the properties we acquired?”

The struggle Travis was having was visible in his facial expressions, but we let him think about it without interrupting him. “Can I think about that for a bit?” he finally asked.

“Of course,” Stef said. “Let me tell you why I asked, because we have a few options going forward.”

“Go on,” I said.

“We can keep those properties as part of our holdings, we can sell them to you and you can hire someone to manage them, or we can sell them to you and you can manage them yourself,” Stef concluded.

“Can you explain how that would work?” Travis asked.

“Certainly,” Stef said. “First you must understand the characteristics of the assets we have bought. What makes them valuable is that they are linked together, and most are contiguous.”

“What do you mean?” Travis asked.

“In the Central Valley, for example, there are farms that are 5,000 acres, 3,000 acres, 7,000 acres, and 9,000 acres,” Stef said. “While these are technically separate properties, they are connected, forming a plot of land 24,000 acres in size.”

“I guess I kind of knew that,” Travis said, just now getting a handle on the land his family had owned.

“That means that it is more difficult, or at least less lucrative, to sell, say, the plot containing 5,000 acres on its own,” he said. “The oil wells are much the same. It is more lucrative to sell the entire oil field.”

“So you’re saying it’s not something to handle piecemeal,” I concluded. “You’re either all-in, or out.”

“That is a good way to summarize it,” Stef said, then turned back to Travis. “If you opted not to acquire the portfolio, we would sell it, because we do not need assets like those in our portfolio.”

That confused Travis, so I stepped in again. “I think what Stef is trying to say is that the Buck properties would be sold off in chunks, and the company that runs them would cease to exist.”

“That is what most likely will happen,” Stef said. “If you buy us out, or if we work out an arrangement to remain invested together, then the portfolio will probably stay much as it is. If you opt to remain in partnership with us but not to be involved in running it, we will hire someone to do that for us.”

“I can see that,” Travis said.

“I am asking you this because it will impact how you spend your time and resources,” Stef said.

“I don’t understand,” Travis responded.

“If you really don’t want to buy us out or be involved, there is no reason for you to spend time getting involved in things now,” Stef said. “If you do, then you need to devote some time to understanding the operation.”

“Do you wash your hands of it, or do you dive in?” I asked.

“When do you need a decision?” Travis asked.

“I think it would be useful for us, and for you, to have at least an idea of what you are planning by the end of this month,” Stef said.

“I can do that,” Travis said.

“I am curious, and you are under no obligation to share this information…,” Stef began, addressing Travis.

“Go on,” Travis said, to encourage him.

“I am wondering how large your trust is, and how many liquid assets you have in there,” Stef said. “It will make it much easier for me to suggest ways to resolve this issue.”

“I have nothing to hide from you,” Travis said. “I’ll be right back.” He got up and hurried out of the dining room, while I looked at Stef and raised an eyebrow. I opted to focus on eating, but Travis was back in no time, carrying a stapled packet of paper. “This is the latest statement I have,” he said, and handed it to Stef.

Stef glanced at it, flipped through the pages, then focused on the first page. “You have a very well-diversified portfolio worth some $250 million. Of that, $200 million would be easy enough to liquidate.”

“Why does it say there’s $359 million on the front page?” Travis asked.

“Because the $109 million difference is what they show as the value of your investment in Buck Industries,” Stef said. “That is now worthless.”

“Oh,” Travis said, and was genuinely sad about that, understandably enough.

“I am concerned that if you opted to buy us out, it would probably take all of your liquid assets,” Stef said. “I do not think it is wise for you to have such a large concentration of your net worth in those properties.”

“I don’t really have much of a choice if I’m going to buy you out, do I?” he asked.

“I mentioned before that we could be partners in this venture,” Stef said. “In that way, you would only have to put up a portion, say half of the cash we invested, which would be about $100 million.”

“I thought you bought the assets for $600 million?” Travis asked.

“We put up $200 million in cash and financed the balance,” Stef said gently.

“Got it,” Travis said. “Going in on it with you sounds a lot smarter, both because it’s less money tied up in one thing, and because you guys will make sure that the thing is managed well,” he said.

“We can hope that ends up being the case,” Stef said, smiling.

Travis was going to say something, then stopped. It was like he didn’t know how to phrase his thoughts. We gave him the time to find his words, then he finally seemed to get internal clarity “It’s a lot to think about. My gut reaction is that I don’t really know if those assets were that important to me, but the symbolism of the company was.”

“How would things be different if you acquired the assets or at least an interest in them, as opposed to not buying them at all?” I asked.

“If you guys sold them off, then I’d probably have a lot less of a hassle in my life,” he said. “I’m just trying to decide if the properties are really that important to me.”

“And that is why you should take some time to think about it,” Stef said.

“I will,” Travis pledged.