Gap Year - 49. Chapter 49

February 28, 2004

The Buck Mansion

Malibu, CA

Will

I stood there in the closet and felt the earth falling away from me, and it took all of my effort not to hyperventilate. So Travis was the other dude? Holy shit. I didn’t even know he messed around with other guys, much less Zach. Thinking of Zach really annoyed me, since I’d witnessed him lying to Travis, right to his face. And what the fuck was wrong with Travis, fucking his sister’s boyfriend. I felt like I’d walked into the twilight zone. I had the sense to click on my recorder, even though I probably shouldn’t have.

I was ruminating over morals, but Zach and Travis were focused on sex. “My turn,” Zach said, and pulled down his pants. That was interesting. If they took turns, that meant that Travis liked to bottom as well. This whole thing was hot and disturbing at the same time.

“No problem,” Travis said. Zach bent over the bed, with his feet on the floor while propping himself up on his elbows. Travis kicked off his pants and boxers, took out his dick, and I watched intently as he got in front of Zach and made him suck it. Both of them were clearly enjoying it, but that’s not what they wanted. As soon as Zach had gotten Travis fired up and hard, Travis slid his dick out of Zach’s mouth and stood behind him, running his fingers gently up and down Zach’s ass crack. Zach moaned but I was too busy staring at Travis’s cock to let that bother me. His dick was absolutely beautiful: It was about seven inches long, the perfect thickness, and curved upward in a long, sexy arc.

“Use a condom,” Zach said, which was probably the only thing that made this whole scene not completely agonizing. Travis seemed annoyed but he put one on, lubed himself up, then showed how pissed off he was by plunging into Zach without too much foreplay. I could see Zach cringe in pain since Travis was a big boy. That had to hurt, and I started to get pissed at Travis for doing that to him, but then I saw Zach’s expression turn to one of complete ecstasy as Travis fucked him. I stood there in agony, watching Travis fuck him, and watching how much they enjoyed it. They must have been doing this for a while because Travis seemed to know just what Zach liked. I knew Zach had sex with other people – shit, I had sex with other people – but to sit here and watch him made the whole thing so much worse. I told myself that was my fault, and that I should look away, but I couldn’t. The thing that made me the angriest was how hot it was, and how I was hard as a rock. After the initial shock wore off, I watched them more closely. They were clearly good with each other, which all but solidified my assumption that they fucked a lot, but there wasn’t a lot of emotion in it. I didn’t know Travis, at least as a sexual being, so I couldn’t read him as well, but I could read Zach. To him, Travis was a dude he liked who was fucking him. There was no real emotional commitment on his part. I decided that even if I wasn’t still a little wasted, this whole scene would be traumatic for me, so I stopped myself from self-flagellation because my mind was flying all over the place.

“Gonna cum,” Travis said. God he was gorgeous. He pushed hard into Zach, then made little thrusts as he whimpered and growled, shooting his load into Zach’s ass. He pulled out and Zach rolled over on his back, pulled up his shirt, and jerked himself off, shooting all over his chest while Travis looked on.

“Fuck,” Zach said in an exhilarated way when they were done. When I had sex with Zach, we were so spent I was basically a vegetable, unable to move until I got control of my body. Not these two.

“So why did I have to wear a condom?” Travis asked, even as he pulled it off his dick. I was kind of surprised he was pissed off right after he blew. No afterglow for him. I allowed myself a humorous moment thinking that he should hook up with Cam.

“Whatever,” Zach said as he got up, pulled up his pants, then grabbed one of Travis’s blankets to wipe the cum off his chest. That was a total dick move, which made me wonder how this whole thing worked between the two of them. Travis frowned at him then tossed the condom on the same blanket.

“Fucking tell me,” Travis demanded.

“Come on, T,” Zach said in his smoothest tone. “I told you you’re the only dude I’m with.”

“Right,” Travis said skeptically. “I know who you were with.” He said that last statement firmly.

“Who?” Zach challenged.

“You were with Will,” he said. That totally freaked me out. How did he figure that out?

“I’m not with him,” Zach lied. I was impressed at how convincing he was. Travis seemed really pissed, which made total sense. Most guys would probably lose it if they thought the dude their sister was with was also messing around with other guys and doing it behind her back. On the other hand, Travis was fucking Zach too. This whole thing was completely fucked up.

“Don’t fucking lie to me,” Travis spat at him loudly. “I could tell by the way you looked at each other.” I was kind of shocked that Travis could figure that out. I mean, I knew Zach wasn’t being sincere, but I usually knew what he was thinking, while Travis must be just as good at reading Zach because he figured that out by watching us. On the other hand, maybe Zach and I were giving off strong signals. I thought about it and decided that either Travis was so into Zach he could read him well, or Zach and I needed to be a lot more careful in public.

“We’re cousins, and he’s my best friend,” Zach said.

“You can fuck cousins,” Travis said.

“Which of your cousins do you fuck?” Zach asked playfully, trying to dodge the issue.

“I know that you’re into him,” he reiterated. He stared at Zach, unwilling to be distracted from the topic.

Zach sighed, and I could tell he knew he was cornered and would have to admit it. “I was with Will.” Zach looked at Travis with pleading eyes, working Travis with his charm.

“Ya think?” Travis asked, annoyed at being treated like an idiot. “I know how important it is to you to keep this side of your life on the down low, that’s why I’m shocked as fuck that you stood there and openly lusted at him.”

“That wasn’t lust,” Zach said. “I was jealous.”

“Will and I are old friends, and I haven’t seen him since I was a kid,” Travis said.

“Yeah, but you looked at him like you wanted to fuck him,” Zach said. That made me almost smile, because Travis thought Zach was jealous that I was hitting on Travis, when in reality he was jealous that Travis was hitting on me. Travis didn’t seem to pick up on that.

“I wouldn’t kick him out of bed,” Travis said. If this wasn’t rocking my world, I’d have smiled at that. “Are you with him?” Travis demanded.

“With who?” Zach asked. I found his question annoying, while Travis got enraged.

“With Will, you dumb fuck! Can’t you at least be honest with me about this?” Travis demanded.

“Look, I’m not with him, but he’s a really good friend and we fuck. I don’t get to see him that often, so when I do, we spend time and enjoy each other,” Zach said. I almost wondered if he were lying to me or to Travis, but I knew him too well to fall into that trap. He loved me, he just wouldn’t, or couldn’t, admit it to Travis.

“I made this deal with you, that we could fuck, so you’d have an outlet for dick that wouldn’t fuck up your relationship with Taylor,” Travis said. “It was supposed to be just us, no one else.”

“Well I just changed the deal,” Zach said to him, turning into an asshole. I recognized this side of him, the side that could be a complete dick. “Will’s part of my life, and part of the deal, and if you don’t like it, that’s just too fucking bad.”

“You talk big for a dude who can’t afford to be outed,” Travis threatened. I thought that would set Zach free, but instead he got an evil, cynical smile.

Zach got in Travis’s face, then pushed him back hard with his hand, asserting his physical dominance. “You ever threaten me again, I will fucking pound you into dust.”

“As if,” Travis said, pushing back. Travis was a big guy, one who was really fit, but Zach was a powerhouse. Zach stepped back, but I could tell he was preparing to pounce. He jumped on Travis, pushed him on the bed, and wrestled around with him. The sight of their bodies writhing around was traumatic and hot at the same time. If I reached down and just touched my dick, I’d probably blow. It was inevitable that Zach would win, and he did when he finally got Travis into a headlock.

“You gonna challenge me again?” Zach snarled.

Travis resisted a bit, but he couldn’t get out of Zach’s grip. “No,” he said resignedly. I hated this, hated physical bullying, so it was all I could do to stay where I was and not jump out and intervene.

“You better think about this,” Zach said to him, still holding him in the headlock. “You’re in no situation to be outed either. Your father would lose his fucking mind. All that effort you make to dodge him would be for nothing, and you’d end up more under his thumb than ever.” Zach released him, pushed him away, and stood back up, while Travis pulled himself up into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. Zach’s pants were tenting big time, and I assumed that Travis had the same condition but I couldn’t see his crotch.

“Just get the fuck out of here,” Travis spat.

“We were doing well, we were cool, then you had to go all drama on me like some chick,” Zach said. “You ever gonna threaten me again? You ever gonna out me?” Travis said nothing, so Zach pushed him. “Answer the fucking question.”

“No,” Travis admitted. It was awful to see him so defeated, and even worse to see Zach doing it. “I promise.”

“You’re an honest dude, so I believe you,” Zach said. Now he was being nice, trying to end the conflict. He’d won, he’d claimed the alpha position in this relationship, so he was going to try to heal the wound. I’d wondered if this was the same thing he’d done when he’d dated that dentist in Claremont back when he was fifteen, the one he’d abused. He leaned in and kissed Travis on the cheek. “You’re important to me. Don’t fuck this up.”

“Alright,” Travis said, smiling at him.

“This works for us. You satisfy my need for dick, and I do the same thing for you. That way you don’t have to worry about your father snooping around and finding out the truth,” Zach said. Travis nodded but didn’t move. “I’ll see you back down there.”

Travis put his head in his hands and sat there for a bit. “Fuck,” he said, and punched the bed. I could see that his face was wet and felt so bad for him. I was torn between walking out and comforting him and staying put. He’d be mad at me for being here, and that may damage the relationship I was trying to build with him, so I decided to stay in the closet. He solved my dilemma by getting up and going to the bathroom. I sighed with relief until I heard him walking toward the closet. He opened the door and he was naked from the waist up, so he must have messed up his shirt. God his body was sexy. If you took a regular dude’s body and pumped it up both in muscles and in padding, he would look like Travis. There was nothing I could do now; I was completely busted.

He flipped on the light, saw me, and was so scared he jumped almost a foot in the air. “Hey,” I said, like it wasn’t unusual for me to be lurking in his closet.

“What the fuck are you doing in my closet?” he asked. He was more pissed off at me than he’d been at Zach, but I couldn’t help but think about how sexy he was. His nose was flaring and his neck veins were bulging, just like Robbie’s had when he was mad.

“Sorry,” I said.

“How long have you been here?” he demanded, pushing me back into the closet and up against the wall.

“The whole time,” I said, and swallowed hard.

“Were you stalking me? Dude, that is fucking creepy. I was thinking that we were cool, and that we were good friends again, and you go and fuck that up by fucking spying on me. That hurts worse than all this other stuff,” he said, referring to his deal with Zach.

“I wasn’t stalking you, I was hiding,” I said. “I went to use the half bath downstairs and flushed the toilet. Your dad heard that and sent the guard to hunt me down, so I ran up here. I was going to jump out your window, but I didn’t have time before you walked in, so I ended up hiding here.”

“Why did you run from the guard?” he asked. “You could have just told him you were using the bathroom.”

“Dude, I was pretty fucked up,” I said, because I didn’t want to tell him about my time in the other closet. “I am really sorry. My plan until you opened the door was to jump out the window and pretend that I didn’t see anything.”

“But you did see everything, and probably heard what we said too,” he said, and backed off a bit. “I fight hard, so fucking hard, to maintain my privacy, and you violated it.”

“Travis,” I said, and put my hand on his upper arm. “I did not mean to do that. I don’t know what to do to make it better.”

“Just get out of here,” he said.

“How come you told me you weren’t gay?” I asked.

“Out,” he said again.

“Answer my question and I’ll leave,” I said.

“I knew that I’d end up fucking you, and I didn’t want to do that,” he said.

“Why? I’m hot,” I said playfully. He didn’t even smile.

“If I’m with you, because you’re out, then people will think we’re together,” he said. We both knew that ‘people’ meant his father. “And I had this deal with Zach, that you now fucking know all about, and I gave him my word, and I didn’t want to break it.”

“Can we talk about this later?” I asked.

“You said you’d leave,” he spat.

“I did,” I agreed. I pushed past him and walked out of the closet. I got to his door and changed my mind, and headed to the bathroom like I’d originally planned. I had just started opening the door when I heard his voice behind me.

“What’s your plan for tomorrow?”

“I’m free until the evening, although I can probably cancel those plans,” I said. “Why?”

“Want to surf in the morning?”

I smiled. “That would be the shit. Why don’t you come over?”

“I’m being tracked,” he said somberly.

“Park at the pier and walk down to the beach,” I said. “Bring your wetsuit. You can use one of our boards.”

“Alright,” he said. “See you at eight.”

“Eight,” I confirmed. I opened the window, looked around carefully, then climbed over the sill and stood on the ledge. Just before I jumped down, I thought I felt his hand on my ass, which made me giggle. I landed on the ground and the force of the fall knocked me down and made me roll a bit, but I stood up, brushed myself off, and headed back up to the party.

I saw Darius first. “Everyone’s been looking for you,” he said. “No idea why.”

“I passed out in the woods,” I said, shaking my head and my own lameness. “I’m going to bail.”

“Lightweight,” he said with a sneer. “I can get a ride home. You can take the car.” I called for the car and started walking out front when I ran into Zach and Taylor.

“Hey,” I said cheerfully. “I have to bail. I had a blast.”

“Can’t you stay longer?” Taylor whined.

“I can’t. Let’s hang out this week,” I said. She frowned, but I was immune to her games, unlike Zach.

“I was thinking of bailing too,” Zach said. “You mind if I get the car to take me to campus after it drops you off?”

“That’s fine,” I said.

“I’m sorry baby,” he said to Taylor, and gave her a nice kiss in front of me.

“I understand,” she said. She caved way too easily. She was probably planning to fuck Vaughan again.

We walked out the door and I tried to hide my fear, because I still had those tapes in my pocket, but no one bothered me. I’d seemingly evaded Curtis Buck’s KGB. I hopped in the car and Zach sat next to me, both of us sighing as the car drove away. “I was thinking that I’d just stay in Malibu,” he said.

“I’d like that,” I said, not because I wanted to rip his clothes off, even though I did, but because we had a lot to talk about. We didn’t say anything else until we got home. I paid the driver and gave him a massive tip, for which he thanked me about ten times, then I was finally able to escape with Zach into the house. We went up to my room, I shut and locked the door, and only then did I feel safe.

“Mind if a grab a Pepsi?” he asked.

“Get me one too,” I said. There was this weirdness between us, and it dawned on my slow-motion brain that it was all coming from me. Since my psyche seemed intent on making me mad at Zach, I tried to find a reason why. He’d told me he was with another dude, but he hadn’t told me it was Travis, and there was absolutely nothing wrong with that. The way he treated Travis bothered me a lot, but Travis had threatened Zach and sparked that reaction. I literally shook my head to try and make my brain work right, and then I got clarity. Zach had done nothing wrong, and in fact he’d done everything right, as far as I was concerned. The way he made Travis wear a condom because he’d barebacked me was awesome, because it made me feel comfortable that he was safe when he said he was. My dark side tried to emerge, suggesting that maybe he made Travis wear a condom because I was more fun and he wanted to go bare with me, but even that was sweet, because that meant he was more into me. I knew he was, but it was nice to have proof once in a while.

“Yo, space cadet,” Zach said, and waved my Pepsi in front of me.

“Thanks,” I said, smiling at him. “I was just deep in thought.”

“Do I want to know what you’re thinking?” he asked nervously, then shot his sexy smile at me.

“You do,” I said. “I was just thinking of what an awesome person you are, and how much I love you.”

“You were?” he asked, totally shocked.

“I was,” I said. “Why, did you do something to piss me off?”

“No,” he said. Then I realized I’d been wrong. The tension wasn’t only coming from me.

“What?” I asked him gently. “Tell me.” He swallowed hard like he didn’t want to tell me, then got totally resolved.

“You were hitting on Travis pretty hard, and I mean, if you want to fuck him, that’s all you, but it was kind of rough when you did it in front of me,” he said.

I moved to the couch, sat next to him, and put my arm around him. “I am really sorry about that. You are absolutely right. If you would have done that to me, I would have been so pissed off my head would have exploded,” I said sincerely.

“Dude, what the fuck?” he asked me, shocked beyond belief. “I mean, we’re supposed to argue about this for a while first before you admit you were a douche.” I started laughing, and so did he.

“That’s why I went to the bar, because I finally figured out what I’d been doing,” I said. “It’s been bothering me all night.”

“I mean, I can’t blame you,” he said. “Travis is hot.”

“Is he the only other guy you’re fucking?” I asked him. If I’d kind of blown him away before, this was like a hurricane compared to that. His mouth fell open, he was that shocked.

“What do you mean?” he asked, going into full defense mode and trying to blow it off. I just stared at him and raised an eyebrow. “I need another Pepsi.” He got up and walked over to my bar area, and made himself a rum and coke, then came back.

“You aren’t going to make me one?” I asked, giving him shit, but I recognized he was stalling for time, so I was giving him a little bit more of that to grapple with my bombshell.

“I’ll make you one,” he said with a smile, and went back to pour one for me. He came back and he was still smiling because if I was pissed at him, I’d be a lot meaner, so he got that I was just curious, not mad. “Your drink, sir,” he said, and handed the cocktail to me.

“Thanks,” I said and took a sip. “Your drinks are strong, just like you,” I said, and raised my eyebrows at him.

“Then maybe you’d like me to show you how strong I am,” he said, standing in front of me with his dick starting to tent out his pants. I started massaging it through his pants.

“I wonder, sir, if you’d oblige me by taking a shower with me,” I said in an awful Oliver Twist voice. I was feeling pretty grungy especially after hanging out in their forest.

“I would love to shower with you,” Zach said, bowing like we’d learned to in England.

We walked into the closet and got undressed, then I followed him into the bathroom, lusting at his gorgeous ass. “Check this new setting out,” I said. This was a new rain shower head that covered a huge surface on the roof of the shower, and it had an intensity setting so I turned it on low so just a soft steady stream of water poured down on us. “It’s called light rain.”

“This is awesome,” he said, but he didn’t really care about that. Then he made love to me in the shower, nibbling at my neck while his hands explored my body. I kind of expected him to pound me, but he went slowly in what was one of the more romantic fucks I’d had. He knew my body as well as his own, so I just relaxed and let him be in charge. I turned my head so I could kiss him while I focused the rest of my intention on just enjoying every thrust, every movement. When he got close he started stroking my cock, while I just moaned and moved my body in sync with him. When I came, I almost blacked out, probably helped a little bit from all the booze I’d drunk, and after the immediate euphoria of the orgasm faded, my legs got so weak I fell to the floor.

“Ow,” I said, laughing at the situation. He laughed with me, then helped me up. We cleaned off, even as I held his load in my ass, then dried off and went upstairs to the bed. I stopped on the way to grab my pants. “That was incredible,” I said to him, as soon as we landed in the bed.

“Dude, it does not get better than that,” he grinned. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I said, and we gently made out, looking in each other’s eyes. After just enjoying our time together for about ten minutes, I kissed him a little more aggressively. “You said it doesn’t get any better. Want to try?”

“I would love to try,” he said, chuckling.

“Then be my nasty boy,” I said. It was so awesome when I said that to him, and his eyes bulged with lust.

“You are so awesome,” he said. He moved down and sucked on my dick for a bit, then rolled me over so I was on top of him and jammed his tongue up my ass. I had an inspiration, and I kept my ass cheeks clenched, making him really work his tongue to get his load out. I could feel him growling as I did, and he finally got me so fired up I couldn’t hold my ass closed anymore. His tongue shot in and he licked and slurped until he was done, then we maneuvered around so he was on his back and then I returned the favor, rimming and probing him, getting him ready for my big intruder. I entered him really slowly, and just as he had, I moved in and out of him at an almost maddeningly slow pace, but like me, he got into it, and let himself go, so even those small movements sent waves of ecstasy through his body. I picked up my pace slowly, kind of like those old steam trains you’d see on old movies, until I was really fucking him. He watched my expression, felt the movements of my body, and started stroking his cock in time to my thrusts.

“Gonna cum!” I growled, then yelled out as I blew, ramming my cock into him as far as it would go, shooting my load as deep into his ass as I could.

“My turn,” he said frantically. My orgasm was over but I was still totally with him. I made little jabbing thrusts and as his first shot came out, I timed them with each consecutive blast. When he was done I leaned down and kissed him, then slowly moved out of him. When I was done, I scooped up his load and fed it to him. God, he was fun.

We lay there, with his head on my chest as I stroked his back lovingly. We didn’t say anything for a while, then Zach moved back and lodged his head on his elbow so he could talk to me. “What?” I asked, grinning at him.

“Travis is the only dude I fuck besides you,” he said.

“Thanks for answering my question about that,” I responded.

“Dude, you are being so calm about this, and I expected you to totally freak out,” he said.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” I said, “so why would I be mad at you?”

“I don’t know,” he grumbled. “It just seems like you should.” We both laughed at that.

“I mean, we can fight about it if you want to, but I’d rather not,” I said.

“How did you figure it out?” he asked. “Was it me or Travis, or both of us that was giving off signs? Shit, I have to get a handle on this or I’m going to be totally fucked.”

“Neither one of you did,” I said. “I remember thinking that there was some weirdness between the two of you, but I didn’t know why. I didn’t really think it was because you were having sex with each other.”

“Then how did you know?” he asked.

“Because I watched you fuck him,” I said calmly, and watched him get shocked all over again, really losing his shit this time.