Gap Year - 51. Chapter 51

February 29, 2004

Malibu, CA

 

Will

“Dude, Keith is my friend,” Travis said to me as soon as we were out of earshot. “Can you not be a complete asshole?”

“He’s a douche and he always has been,” I said. His eyes narrowed as he got angrier. “Can we not argue about that right now?”

“Fine,” he said, as I led him beyond the changing rooms and up the stairs to our house. When I glanced at the beach, I saw Keith staring at us intently.

“Hungry?” I asked.

“I can’t cook worth a shit,” he said. I got out some pop tarts and put them in the toaster, then we each made ourselves a bowl of cereal. With pop tarts and cereal in hand, we headed into the great room. “Dude, this is incredible!” He lived in a house with a great view, and he’d seen great views, but with two stories worth of windows that looked right out onto the beach, this room could win an award for vista points.

“Thanks,” I said, and led him up to the windows. Keith was staring at the house trying to see in, but they were coated on the outside, so unless it was night he wouldn’t be able to spot us.

“I feel bad leaving him out there,” Travis said.

“We can head out there in a bit,” I said soothingly as I led him up to my room. I was betting his opinion of Keith would change shortly.

“Holy shit! This is the bomb!” he said as he walked in and saw my room.

“Stef redid it for me when I turned 14,” I said. “Come on.” I led him over to the elevator pad and pushed the button, zipping us up to the second level.

“I feel like I’m on fucking Star Trek or something,” he said, impressed with how cool it was. “So this is your love den?”

“That’s why you’re here,” I said, flirting with him. He shook his head at me, but I got his meaning. I knew he wasn’t ready for intimacy with me, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to go there with him either.

“Not seeing that,” he said, giving me shit.

“You will,” I said, and winked at him. “Let’s go back down and scarf down our lame breakfast.”

“You make it sound like you have some big deal to throw at me,” he said. I was impressed that he read me that well, although I was probably pretty obvious.

“The reason that I ran upstairs to hide from the guards is because I’d managed to hide in that closet next to your father’s office,” I said.

“I’m surprised you can fit in there with all the shit he stores,” he said.

“There was room,” I said. “The guard looked in and didn’t see me, and that made me paranoid.”

“I don’t get why you didn’t just tell them you were using the bathroom,” Travis said. “I mean, you know the place. No one would have been pissed.

“I think at first it was like I said: I was stoned and paranoid. While I was in there I overheard a few conversations, and that freaked me out a lot, so that’s why I ran upstairs to avoid being busted.”

“You were fucking spying on my father?” he asked, all pissed off. “Dude, you sound like you’re worse than him.”

“I am not worse than him,” I said through gritted teeth.

“This is fucking twisted,” he said. He got up like he was going to leave. “I need to bail.”

“Finish your cereal,” I said, staring into his beautiful gray eyes. They had a little blue in them that gave them the slightest azure tint. I went over to my sound system, turned it on, and popped in the CD.

“Some new band I haven’t heard of?” he asked sarcastically. He was pretty annoyed with me.

“Listen to this,” I said. The first track started, his father’s conversation with Zach.

“You taped him?” Travis asked, ignoring the conversation.

“I couldn’t hear,” I told him. “I thought it was important.” He listened to Zach’s conversation and shook his head ruefully when it was over. I paused it after Zach’s meeting to let him digest it.

“Zach is playing with fire,” he said. “After that, I don’t even think Taylor can rein my father in.”

“You don’t think it would bother him to tackle me and my family?” I asked.

He shook his head. “He’s not really afraid of anyone, and he’s got enough money that cash isn’t going to tilt the scale.”

“That wasn’t really the important conversation,” I said. “This one is.” I hit play and watched him as he listened to his father’s conversation with Keith. When it was over, I paused the CD again, and waited for his reaction.

He didn’t say anything, he just got up and walked over to the windows and looked out at the ocean. I walked up next to him and saw Keith lurking around, staring at our house. He dodged into a corner and got out his camera. “Can he see us here?” Travis asked.

“I don’t think so, but he got out his camera, so maybe,” I said. We walked back over and both of us sat on the couch. “You okay?”

He shook his head, and a tear fell out of his right eye. I moved quickly but gently and wiped it away. “I feel trapped and betrayed,” he said bitterly. “Other than that, I feel numb.”

“I figured you’d be pissed at me for this,” I said. “I mean, it’s stuff you should know, but people sometimes kill the messenger.”

“I’m not that shallow,” he snapped rudely. I could tell he immediately regretted it, and I’d been expecting it, so I put my hand on his shoulder to show him it was cool.

“How can I help?” I asked him.

He gave me a nasty look, and I was pretty sure he was about to blurt out something like ‘you’ve already done enough,’ but instead he just sighed. “I don’t know. I do know one thing. I’m not going out there to hang with him in an hour.”

I laughed at that. “I didn’t like him before that, and with this, I really detest him. That’s probably why I was so rude this morning.”

“I get it,” he said. “You and I have matured physically, mentally, and emotionally, while he’s just matured physically. I got what you were saying to him last night about ripping people up.”

“He does it because you encourage him,” I said. He gave me an evil look. “You laugh at his slams.”

“I’m just trying to get him to move on without being rude,” he said, making me chuckle. “What?”

“Look at you, being all Emily Post and acting polite and shit when all you’re doing is asking him to keep picking other people apart,” I teased.

“Dude, I was raised in Malibu, I have good manners,” he said, making both of us laugh. “I’m not mad at you, but all this bothers me.”

“I did not mean to rock your world,” I said with emphasis.

“Well you did,” he said. “I mean, we just start connecting, you watch me have sex with a dude and then you prove that my best friend is probably only hanging out with me because he’s spying on me. So now you know my deal. I’m a fag trapped in a gilded cage.”

“I’m glad you’re gay,” I said, flirting with him.

“I don’t move fast,” he said, because he thought I was trying to fuck him.

“There’s no scheduled arrival time,” I said. “I’m not forcing you to do anything.”

“You don’t want to fuck like monkeys?” he asked, cracking me up.

“I will turn into an ape whenever you want, but it’s cool. I’m just glad we’re friends again. We are, aren’t we?”

“We are,” he said, and reached over to briefly hold my hand. He still seemed uncomfortable.

“Just so you know, I think you’re amazingly attractive. You’re so fucking sexy it’s scary. But I get where you’re coming from,” I said.

“You do?” he asked.

“My father just got married at the end of last year to an awesome dude,” I said. “His name is Jake. They were working together, and Jake kept pushing my father away, which frustrated the shit out of my father.”

“I can’t see your dad being patient,” he said, and that made me laugh pretty hard.

“He’s not,” I agreed. “Jake told him that when he meets a dude and fucks him right away, that sort of ends the relationship. It’s frozen in that hookup stage. That’s why he wanted to make sure he and my dad were friends and had a good connection first.”

“You want to marry me?” he asked.

“No,” I said flatly, and saw him actually look disappointed. “Dude, you won’t even fuck me. I’m not marrying you.”

He laughed at that. “You saw my dick. Think you can take me?” Now he was teasing me.

“No problem,” I said, and he looked annoyed. “I was actually kind of worried about that at first.”

“Because you thought I wasn’t big enough?” he asked.

I looked deep into his eyes. “Dude, when I saw your dick last night, all locked and loaded, I thought it was the most beautiful cock I’d ever seen.” He blushed furiously at that, which was adorable.

“Then why were you worried?” he asked.

“Because I’ve messed around with three dudes since I’ve been here, and two of them had micro dicks,” I said, making him laugh.

“Can we get out of here and go somewhere where none of these idiots can find me?” he asked me.

“Where’s your phone?” I asked.

“In my truck by the pier,” he said, chuckling. “Is that all of the conversations you recorded?”

“There’s one more,” I said. “It will be tough for you to hear. You can wait until later to listen to it.”

“Why will it be tough?” he asked nervously.

“After I heard it, I puked then cried for fifteen minutes.”

“Fuck,” he said, then sat there for a few seconds. “I need to hear it.”

“While you’re doing that, I’ll go plan our escape,” I said. “Hit this button,” I said, and handed him the remote. I hurried out of my room and up to Jeff’s room, and got lucky that he was home. “Dude, I need a huge favor.”

“What?”

“I need to borrow your car,” I said. He looked at me curiously, even as he got out the key fob. “The truck is at the hotel, and Zach took the Ferrari.”

“I need my car,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” I said, not relenting. “Get Cody to drag you to the hotel or take a cab and grab either the Ferrari or the truck. I’ll swap with you when I get back.”

He sensed my resolve. “Fine.”

I tore back down to my room and when I went in, I found Travis sitting on the couch crying worse than I had. I went in and sat next to him and put my arm around him. I could feel the anguish in him, feel how unhinged he was. He turned to me and hugged me, and I hugged him back just as hard. I used one hand to stroke his back, and moved my neck so I could kiss his head lovingly. We stayed like that for a good ten minutes, with his moods fluctuating like a roller coaster. “If you want to escape, we can,” I said.

We pulled apart and our eyes connected, then he moved in slowly and kissed me softly. I remembered Jeff, once again, and let Travis set the pace while I just followed his lead. It was nice, almost friendly, but the connection between us was stunning. I think Zach and Tony were the only dudes I’d kissed that had been that intense. “Let’s go,” he said.

I paused to glance out at the beach where Keith was chilling, looking pretty impatient. Our hour was almost up. We hurried down the stairs, into the garage, and hopped into Jeff’s BMW. No one would even think to look for us in this car. I opened the garage door, started the vehicle, and in no time at all we were on PCH heading south. “Where do you want to go?” I asked.

“I don’t care,” he said.

“I’ve got a hotel room in Bel Air,” I told him. “I guess they could track you down there, though.”

“Bummer,” he said, letting me know he didn’t really want to do that.

“You think the Wedge is hopping today?” I asked.

“I’ve got my wetsuit but nothing else,” he said.

“Last time I checked, we were both rich as fuck,” I said, making him laugh.

“Let’s check it out,” he agreed. We took the 405 and traffic wasn’t completely shitty, which was a good omen. I drove along with both of us being quiet. I got the feeling he was using the drive as a distraction as he sorted things through in his brain, so I just focused on the road. “Traffic on the Costa Mesa Freeway is going to suck,” he said, finally ending the silence.

“The 405 is already backing up,” I said.

“Get off here,” he said impulsively.

“Brookhurst?” I asked, surprised.

“Yeah,” he said. “There’s a divey surf shop when you get to PCH called the Frog House.”

“What if we get a bunch of shit and the waves suck?” I asked.

“Dude, we’re rich as fuck,” he said, making me laugh. “We can afford an extra wetsuit.”

“Plus we can probably grab some food,” I said.

“I’m fucking starving,” he agreed.

The car dinged and I looked at the instrument panel. “Looks like we need gas too.”

“Can we smoke some pot now?” he asked, pretending to be annoyed. I laughed and handed him my one hitter.

“We can,” I said. “You’re the packer.” We got off at Brookhurst and stopped for gas and huge sodas, then drove to the beach, deciding to drive through McDonald’s. Along the way we got really stoned.

“How the fuck are you going to eat all this food and still drive?” he asked.

“Like you ordered any less than I did,” I said. We scarfed down our food and finally made it to the surf shop. There were about five dudes in there. It seemed like three of them worked there while the other two were just hanging out. They looked like surfers from Huntington Beach, because the clothes they wore were a little too grungy for Newport.

“Any waves at the Wedge?” Travis asked.

“Dude, south swells today. Supposed to be rocking there today,” the dude said. Matt and Wade talked about how cool it was to buy new hockey gear, and being here with Travis getting all kinds of surf shit, I could see what they meant.

“Want to get boards or rent them?” Travis asked me.

“We can buy them if you can handle a short board,” I said in a condescending way, implying he’d need a long board to function in the water.

“Fuck you,” he said. It was kind of cute that we ended up with the same exact surfboards. We went to pay the bill and when he pulled out his credit card, I stopped him.

“I’m buying,” I said.

“Dude, I can pay for my own gear,” he insisted.

“We can argue about it while we’re looking for a parking place,” I joked, and paid the bill. The dude knew someone who lived near the Wedge, gave us directions, and told us we could park there for $20. I gave him the cash and we took off.

“What’s with you buying shit?” he demanded.

“Your credit card purchase would be tracked, and then everyone would know where we are,” I said.

“Good thinking,” he said, and got a little somber. “I’ll pay you back.”

“Dude, shut the fuck up,” I said a bit playfully. “Don’t you know that when someone buys you something, you’re not supposed to argue, you’re supposed to say thank you?”

He laughed. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” I said.

“No,” he said seriously. “I mean for everything.”

“You’re welcome,” I said again.

We got to the parking place at this house and had to give the dude that lived there another $20, but it was no big deal, especially since he let us change in his bathroom. Finally decked out in our new gear, we headed to the Wedge. The Wedge is at the southern tip of the Balboa Peninsula, and it could produce some massive waves. There was a rock jetty on the west side of Newport Harbor, and that sandwiched the waves and amplified them, dumping them onto the beach. “Holy fuck!” Travis said. “Look at that wave!” It was huge.

“Come on!” I said, and we ran toward the water, with all the spectators parting to make way for us. It was kind of tricky at the water’s edge, because it had a shore break. That made the first 30 feet a sort of killing field, where you’d get pounded by crashing waves before you could get out far enough to catch one. That didn’t matter to either one of us: we just laughed as we fought our way out. There were a lot of surfers here, but this was a pretty dangerous beach, so most of them were experienced. It was known for being inconsistent, because the wave direction was unpredictable, so that required extra skill.

“Don’t get pitted,” Travis said to me as we watched some guy get hammered by a wave. He’d been riding a tube and it had collapsed on him, which was what pitting was.

“I’ll be fine,” I said. We’d both been good surfers before, so I was anxious to see how he did now. We had to wait our turn for a wave, and I let him go first so I could watch him. He was pretty fucking good. I wasn’t sure if he was just a little raw or what, but he probably could have done more with his wave, but that was just me nitpicking. Still, I really wanted to impress him, and the wave I ended up with didn’t seem like it would give me much to work with, but then it changed. The thing went from like ten to twenty feet in about three seconds, which freaked out the other two people around me, but I just smiled and clawed my way up to the top, then tore down the front, bending over to get as much speed as possible.

I was flying along but this wave was fast, and I could see it curling over me. I remembered my maneuver when I’d surfed past Cam, and decided the conditions were right for that. I gauged my time then kicked my board, flying up the wave, breaking through the curling top, and did a perfect aerial. Unfortunately, this wave wasn’t as forgiving as the one in Malibu, so when I landed it fucking thrashed me, pulling me under until I felt like my chest would break, but I held on to my board and bounced right back to the surface when the monster was done fucking with me, a huge grin on my face.

I made my way back out to the starting point and got kudos from the other surfers there, which was like the ultimate ego boost for me. “Dude, what the fuck?” Travis asked me, with admiration in his eyes. “You didn’t used to be this good.”

“That was when I had three pubes,” I joked, cracking him up. We stayed in the water until 5:00 when fatigue and hunger drove us ashore.

“That was one of the best surf days I’ve had in a long time,” he said as we walked back to the car. He was so attractive, with his enthusiastic smile and his flushed cheeks.

“Dude, me too,” I agreed. “What are you doing for Spring Break?”

“Nothing now,” he grumbled. “I was supposed to go to Cabo with Keith and a few other dudes.”

“You have to come to Maui and surf with me,” I said. “I’ve got a house that’s right next to Ho’okipa Beach.”

“Dude, I’ve been there,” he said. “They have some awesome waves.”

“They do, and all you have to do is walk down some stairs to the beach,” I told him.

“My break is from March 14^th to 21^st,” he said. “Will that work?”

“That is perfect!” I said. “That’s when Menlo has their Spring Break. You’ll love the group that’s going.”

“Is there room?” he asked.

“You can crash with me, if you don’t mind,” I said. He looked a little nervous. “Dude, I’m not going to rape you.”

“Sorry,” he said, and grinned at me. “I’m just so fucked up everything weirds me out.”

“That’s fine,” I said. We got to the car and I was glad the seats were leather, because we were still a little wet. We put out towels over them and got in. It was pretty uncomfortable, because we rinsed off but didn’t have a chance to change, so we ended up heading back still wearing our wetsuits.

“I can’t wait to get back,” he said.

“I figured we could swing by my room in Bel Air and change,” I said. He nodded. “Shit!”

“What?”

“I haven’t checked my messages and Stef is coming to town,” I said, even as I pulled out my phone.

“My father’s probably about to have a coronary,” Travis said. “I hope he fucking does.” I looked at him, but he looked away, so I didn’t bug him about it.

We pulled over to get drinks and to pee, then he drove while I handled my communications. I called Stef, got his voicemail, and told him I’d meet him at the hotel later. Travis kept changing lanes and bitching at people who were going slow in front of us. He was driving like a maniac, so I gave him a dirty look. “Dude, chill the fuck out.”

“Sorry,” he said. “Adderall wore off. Got more of that weed?”

“Sure,” I said, hoping he didn’t drive worse. We each did a couple of hits and that mellowed him out enough to drive normally. “What’s with that? You get high and you’re not fucking Mad Max.”

He laughed. He had such a beautiful laugh, one that was deep and melodic but boyish at the same time. “People with ADD sometimes self-medicate. For me, the best ways to do that are with cocaine or weed. I left both of those in my truck.”

“Well I’m glad to help out,” I said. I had three messages. One was from Taylor, one was from Zach, and one was from Dan. For Taylor, I turned up the volume and put it on speaker: “Hey Will, this is Taylor. I heard T was with you and no one can get in touch with him, so everyone’s having a fucking fit. Mom wants to know if he’s planning to spend the week there. Have him call her.”

“I should call my mom,” he said, then reached for his phone, only to realize it wasn’t there. “Can I borrow your phone?”

“I’m assuming you’re staying with her?” I asked.

“I am,” he said. “I’m not going near my father.”

“How’s this. I have to call Zach back. I’ll have him tell Taylor to tell your mom,” I said.

“That works,” he said. “Good idea.”

“I’m a smart guy,” I said, making him roll his eyes. I called Zach back and he answered right away, which meant he must have been waiting for me to call. “S’up?” I asked.

“Will, I need a favor, and I’m really worried it’s going to piss you off,” he told me. “So before I ask you, no matter what, don’t get mad at me.”

“Dude, I am not that high maintenance,” I said, more to reassure myself than to convince him.

“I need to cancel our call tonight,” he said. “I’ve got an exam tomorrow and I have to meet up with some people.”

“We’ll start next Sunday,” I said, and could feel him smiling over the line.

“Thanks,” he said. “Maybe I’ll call you later if I get time?”

“You can always call me,” I said to him lovingly. “I need you to do a favor for me.”

“What?” he asked.

“I need you to have Taylor tell her mom that T will be with her this week,” I said.

“Is he with you?” Zach asked.

“He is,” I said. “We went to Newport and the waves fucking rocked.”

“You must have loved that,” he said.

“I did, and I got to show T I can still kick his ass in the water,” I said. Travis smacked me playfully, making me giggle.

“Cool,” he said, and sounded a little down, and I got that he was jealous, so I backed off on that topic.

“Thanks for passing the message on,” I said, and ended the call. Dan’s message just asked me if he could drop off my shirt tomorrow some time, and that made me smile. Travis must have thought I was thinking of Zach.

“How tight are you and Zach?” he asked.

“Tight,” I said. “How about you? How tight are you with Zach?”

“I’m more into him than he’s into me,” he said sadly. “I don’t love him, but I care about him. It’s weird that he’s with my sister, but that makes it kind of hot too.”

“You and Taylor aren’t close?” I asked.

“We’re okay,” he said. “I’m tighter with Big, and so is she.”

“So why does that make it hotter?” I asked.

“I don’t ever get to do anything bad or wrong,” he said. “It’s like I have to be this model citizen.”

“So fucking Zach is like your way of rebelling against that?” I asked.

He nodded. “And it’s fun,” he said, then got serious. “For him, I’m a fun release, so that’s how it works.”

“That’s the best he can probably give you, at least right now,” I said. “He can never be out, so any relationship he has with a dude is always going to be on the down low.”

“I got that,” annoyed with me for stating the obvious. “So are you in love with him, or do you love him on a more…I don’t know…”

“Platonic level? Like as a friend?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said. I sensed that he was feeling vulnerable, and that I needed to open up to him a little bit.

“After the 9-11 attacks, when I was spiraling into hell, I really didn’t know how I’d work my way out of it,” I said. As soon as I said that, I had an attack like I used to have, where I thought about those fucking towers and started crying.

“I am so sorry I brought this up,” he said, and took his hand off the stick shift long enough to hold on to mine.

“This is part of it, where every once in a while I just break into tears,” I said. “They pass pretty quickly now. Don’t worry about it.”

“The shit you went through,” he said, shaking his head. “I can’t imagine having to deal with that.”

“That’s why I will always love Zach,” I said. He looked confused, so I explained. “He made it his personal mission to help me recover from that nightmare, and through that we connected on an almost spiritual level. He saved me, and I will always owe him for that.”

“He did that for you? What was in it for him?”

“That’s how you know he’s not really into you,” I said. “When you think he’s just a selfish bastard.”

“He’s not?” he asked.

“He’s not,” I said, smiling as I did. Travis just looked annoyed.