Disasters, Delights and Other Detours - 70. Descent and Ascent

A double rhyming scheme which changes half way through each stanza? Show off.    You have achieved an intriguing, fascinating mix of the Jacobean and today. Bravo.

Ditto. I found it uplifting, and in layman's terms, singsong-ey.  

I like the rhyming scheme to my mind it causes the phrasing to dance and skip but more importantly I like the words.

What Northie said! What Valkyrie said! What everyone said!

Another intriguing experiment!

4 hours ago, northie said:

A double rhyming scheme which changes half way through each stanza? Show off.    You have achieved an intriguing, fascinating mix of the Jacobean and today. Bravo.

Blame whoever taught George Herbert for the complex rhyme and meter scheme. I found it fascinating, almost conversational, and an irresistible challenge. Thanks very much for having a good look at these neo-Jacobean lines.

4 hours ago, Valkyrie said:

What northie said  

It’s a fun pattern to write in, allowing for various kinds of changes in tempo. Thank you for trying it on for size. 

3 hours ago, Headstall said:

Ditto. I found it uplifting, and in layman's terms, singsong-ey.  

Thank you! Singsong is a good way to describe how I heard some of these lines. If you felt buoyant too, that’s awesome. Thank you for looking at this. 

3 hours ago, dughlas said:

I like the rhyming scheme to my mind it causes the phrasing to dance and skip but more importantly I like the words.

You’re amazingly kind. I’m glad it gives you a dance feel; better still, you like what the poem says. I’m grateful you took time to read and respond to this. 

3 hours ago, Geron Kees said:

What Northie said! What Valkyrie said! What everyone said!

Another intriguing experiment!

An easier experiment to try than what might be attempted in a chemistry lab, and much more pleasant to the ear. Thanks for reading this and for your thoughts. 

Enjoyed them both!!  I'd say these are a success.

2 hours ago, Mikiesboy said:

Enjoyed them both!!  I'd say these are a success.

I’m really glad you liked these. It was fun playing with the patterns, maybe because I’m such a math nerd. Thank you for reading these and letting me know what you thought.