Disasters, Delights and Other Detours - 81. Faceless

Reminded me of Rick too. It's a great poem in its entirety, but I found it sad. It is so commonplace, and maybe it's what's needed at the time, but what is he left with? "Accomplished" in the final verse kind of stung me. Very evocative, Parker. 

3 hours ago, Valkyrie said:

These are well-written and tell a clear story.  They remind me of Rick in your new story   

Thank you very much for your thoughts on this. I'm glad the story came through; sometimes one is tempted to overthink things. Yes, this too reminds me of Rick.

20 minutes ago, Headstall said:

Reminded me of Rick too. It's a great poem in its entirety, but I found it sad. It is so commonplace, and maybe it's what's needed at the time, but what is he left with? "Accomplished" in the final verse kind of stung me. Very evocative, Parker. 

Thank you very much for taking time to read this and for your comments on it. The story is terribly commonplace, yet I am glad the story arc was apparent. If it evoked emptiness and sterility, then it must have hit its mark. Once again, my thanks.

6 hours ago, Valkyrie said:

These are well-written and tell a clear story.  They remind me of Rick in your new story   

👆🏻I thought the same.... Rick 🥺

5 minutes ago, 84Mags said:

👆🏻I thought the same.... Rick 🥺

I'm wondering if he's not inhabiting my subconscious. Thank you for reading!

I think you explore the potential of the form really well. You expand it to tell a narrative, yet maintain the integrity of each stanza skyscraper to be a fully contained combo of image and emotion. Really well done!

Doing story research (real research this time...) led to the same sort of thoughts. To me, it would be completely alien; to a substantial number of our community it is the norm. Mechanistic? Or no-strings fun which doesn't hurt anyone. To me, the final skyscraper says it all. 

Well written and evocative of the time perhaps though they leave me a bit empty. I prefer a more personal connection.

1 hour ago, AC Benus said:

I think you explore the potential of the form really well. You expand it to tell a narrative, yet maintain the integrity of each stanza skyscraper to be a fully contained combo of image and emotion. Really well done!

The more I use the form, the more adaptable it becomes to conveying feelings and actions. It's as if one tells the course of the hours in black-and-white photographic snapshots. Thank you for your very kind words and encouragement, and especially for reading this Wolkenkratzergedichte.

1 hour ago, northie said:

Doing story research (real research this time...) led to the same sort of thoughts. To me, it would be completely alien; to a substantial number of our community it is the norm. Mechanistic? Or no-strings fun which doesn't hurt anyone. To me, the final skyscraper says it all. 

Thank you for reading this, and for commenting on it. It seems like an experience, but one that is emptied of connection and warmth. I am glad you felt the last skyscraper conveyed this.

30 minutes ago, dughlas said:

Well written and evocative of the time perhaps though they leave me a bit empty. I prefer a more personal connection.

If this leaves you feeling empty, or hollow, then these lines succeeded in their aim. Like you, I prefer warmth and personality. Thank you for reading, and for commenting.