Brandon Smiling: From the Billy Chase Chronicles (2) - 12. Entry 12

Friday

I’m blushing right now…

He was staring at me almost the whole time I was there at his place! I mean, staring! With anyone else I would have thought he was being totally creepy about it, but…not Billy. Billy can stare at me like that forever if he wanted to!

I think I saw love there! I really do!

He was so blushy and fidgety and talkey, Hehehe! Boy, Billy can rattle on nonstop for hours and not catch his breath! It is beyond adorable!

Gosh, oh gee…I really think he’s The One!

I’m not entirely sure, but I think he was hard through almost the whole time we were together (I know I was)! I couldn’t help but look at him those few times he wasn’t looking at me. Hehehe! My dreams of him and those jeans, that butt, that package - they don’t hold a candle to the real thing! I can tell Billy’s all grown up down there! For some reason, my mouth was watering! It still is!

I bet he’s tasty! God, stop it Brandon! You are such a perv!

Oh, and Billy needs to get into stand-up comedy! He had me giggling and sputtering all the way from school to his house! He just thinks funny, you know? Not funny weird, but totally funny ha-ha! There was this one he blurted out about this nasty mean girl we know at school - Patricia Dentworth is her name - that nearly had me on the ground rolling around!

“I swear that girl, she’s so skanky I bet she has flies in her panties!” Oh, no Billy di’in’t! Oh yes he did! It would be a mean comment about anyone else, but Patty The Dented more than deserves it! She’s just mean to everyone and, what’s crazy, is she’s popular! I don’t get people sometimes.

Anyways, so we get to his house and it’s such a cute little place! I could tell his Mom lived there because there were all these little ‘Mama’ touches here and there. A picture of Billy’s family over here, a throw blanket neatly draped over the back of their couch, flowers on the dining room table…that sort of thing. I was almost a little jealous since I’ve missed those kinds of things in my life since my Mama died.

He made us some little pizza things for a snack and watched me eat every bite! I felt nervous enough that I actually bit down on the hot cheese before blowing on it like I usually do! God that stuff is like molten lava when it comes out of the oven! I had to fan my face to prevent third-degree burns!

Then…he showed me to his room! This part got me plenty nervous, because I wasn’t sure I could control myself much longer. I just wanted to grab Billy up bodily, throw him on that beautiful bed of his, yank his pants down, and lick and suck him in every way imaginable! I made sure to wear pleated pants today and a long tailed shirt to keep my raging hard-on from looking as completely obscene as it was being!

Billy seemed as nervous as I was because he was talking a mile a minute, describing all of his posters, toys, collectibles, and everything. He even babbled on about his t-shirt collection! Hehehe!

All it was to me was ‘blah blah blah’ because all I could keep focus on was his absolute beauty as he moved gracefully from one thing to another. Awww…Billy is just adorable. Did I say that already?

At one point, I think he caught himself babbling so he turned on his TV with some cartoons. I made sure to watch them like I was ‘supposed’ to. I wanted to keep watching Billy goof around and be silly, but I could tell his nerves were starting to get the better of him. Mine were too, so I let Ren and Stimpy take me to somewhere else for a few seconds so I could get a grip.

He plopped himself on his bed and I swear he had a wriggling fit like a dog, like he was having a hard time getting comfortable. On his stomach, I could only figure he was having a very ‘hard’ time indeed! Out of the corner of my eye I could see his back arching and his butt coming up to press against the inside of his jeans! Oh, I just wanted to stuff my face between those cheeks so bad and blow!

Good God, I hope my Dad never reads this Blog! Thank heavens for password protection!

Then, he invited me into his bed! That was a, kind of, ‘uh-oh’ moment for me, but honestly, I couldn’t resist! He was lying there on his tummy, that beautiful chipmunk face smiling up at me expectantly, and before I knew it, my shoes were off and I was right next to Billy…in his bed!

I didn’t dare follow my instincts and just grab Billy and, turn him over, lay on top of him and kiss every square inch of his face, full pink lips, long neck, and everywhere else! He was so near to me! I was so near to him! It would have only taken a touch and we would have been in each other’s arms at last!

But…I chickened out. I behaved myself and now wish I’d just gone for it!

In any case, Billy did make a first move on me…of a sort. Hehehe!

He actually rolled over on top of me, but on his back so that we were back to back! What the Hell? Hehehe! That beautiful ass of his was right on top of mine and, I had to tighten up just to keep from going off in my pants! I kid you not, I was this close! Just being near him was bad enough, but with this contact, silly and playful as it was, I had to hold myself back big time!

I don’t think he quite heard the strain in my voice as I tried to pass it off as a joke, “Hehehe! Are you comfortable?” But, it took a lot of self-control not to just turn under him and hug him tight and nestle myself deep in the cleft of that God given ass right there on top of me! After a minute or two, though, things were getting, kind of, painful for me with his added weight and my added hardness, so I shrugged him off. I, sort of, returned the favor of the ‘horseplay’ by trying to get Billy to turn over because I really did want to see if what I was seeing before in his pants was still there! I think that if Billy had let me see, it would have been the clincher we needed to put an end to all this ‘are you or aren’t you Gay’ nonsense and I would have been on top of him in a heartbeat!

But, I finally stopped, laughing it off. I just…couldn’t do it yet! I couldn’t let go of the nerves to just make this ‘thing’ happen!

I still have my doubts. Was this some elaborate scheme to get me to Out myself so I could become the butt of Billy’s jokes at school? Was I misreading Billy’s silliness as being something it wasn’t? Could I give up everything I was brought up believing and just commit to being Gay and, finally, realize it with Billy today?

These questions and a sudden rush of shy fear just killed the mood in me. Obviously, I wasn’t ready to go down this road yet with Billy today. I guess, we need more time to get to know one another before we run headlong into something neither of us are, probably, ready for.

We finished watching cartoons and I made up an excuse that I had to get back home in time for dinner. In actuality, my Dad was going to be at work all evening so I’d be by myself. I half thought about asking Billy to come sleep over at my place tonight, but then I remembered his Mom was coming home soon and she didn’t really know me from Adam yet. That was a good excuse.

I know as well as I’m sitting here and writing this that we would have done ‘it’ or something like ‘it’ if he’d come over tonight. That or I might have done something so inappropriately Gay with ‘Straight Billy’ that he’d bring a whole shit-show down on my head forever!

I’m a chicken. I admit, I got trust issues. But then you know that already, Nameless One.

Maybe, soon. Maybe, one day quite soon, Billy and me will finally just let each other know how we really feel about each other, but that day was not today.

This is Brandon, waiting for that day to come and come soon!