Gap Year - 62. Chapter 62

March 5, 2004

In the Air

The middle of the US

 

Will

“Tough time for you,” Darius said sympathetically.

I nodded. “Thanks for listening to me,” I said. I’d poured my heart out to him on the plane, telling him all about my drama with Travis and Zach, and he’d listened to me and even hugged me when I’d cried.

“Those two have some fucked up deal going on,” he said, shaking his head.

“I guess I knew that going in,” I said. “I mean, what kind of dude fucks his sister’s boyfriend.”

“Yeah, what kind of dude does that?” he asked me. I blinked at him. “The Bucks have always been totally messed up. What made you think Travis would be even remotely normal?”

I actually laughed at that. “Big seems pretty together.”

Darius shook his head. “He has all kinds of issues because of his father. They all do.”

“Big does?” I asked. He looked at me like I was an idiot.

“Nothing he does is ever good enough for his dad,” Darius said. “He tries, and no matter what, it’s just not quite there. So he decides that his life is one failure after another.”

“Ouch,” I said, thinking about that.

“I think that’s why he can be a total dick at times,” Darius said.

I nodded. “He was kind of a bully in school.”

“Yeah, and he doesn’t treat the women he’s with very well,” Darius said, his eyes flashing with anger briefly. “Only time I see him is at parties like the one we went to, and then I only hang with him for a little bit.”

“I can’t see you putting up with that kind of bullshit,” I said, giving him a well-deserved compliment.

“Taylor and Travis are just as fucked up,” he said.

“How so?” I asked.

“Taylor thinks the sun rises and sets on Curtis Buck,” Darius said, shaking his head. “I went out with her once and the whole time it was like she was comparing me to her father.”

“Girls with daddy issues,” I joked, making him chuckle.

“No shit,” he agreed. “That’s why Vaughan Harvey broke up with her. He said she was an ok piece of ass, but it was like he was having a threesome with her and her father.”

“Gross,” I said. “Then again, Vaughan was fucking around with both Taylor and Travis.”

“Seriously?” Darius asked me, completely surprised. “Vaughan was fucking around with both Taylor and Travis?” That he repeated my phrase told me how shocked he was by that revelation.

“That’s the deal,” I answered.

“Vaughan’s gay?” Darius asked.

I rolled my eyes at him. “No, he just appreciates a good blow job.” He looked at me strangely. “Some guys are heteroflexible.”

“Whatever,” Darius said, since he didn’t want to think about that as a possibility.

“Shit, that’s how I end up fucking most of the straight dudes I’ve been with,” I joked, cracking him up.

“That’s pretty fucked up, that Travis banged both of Taylor’s boyfriends,” Darius said.

“Totally,” I agreed. “I don’t get that, because Travis seems to get along pretty well with her.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Darius asked. “Don’t you remember what a cunt she was to Travis when they were younger?”

“Yeah, but they seemed to move beyond that,” I said.

“Curtis Buck treats Travis like an unwanted appendage. Shit, the only one who likes him is his mom. The rest of them could give a shit less about him,” Darius explained. “There is no fucking way that any of them would do what we’re doing, going to check on our douchey brother.” That really cracked me up.

“You guys are like my rocks,” I said earnestly. “I can’t imagine having a relationship like that.”

“That’s what they all deal with. They are nice enough to each other, but there’s no love there,” he said.

“Travis talked a lot about being all alone,” I said, thinking about our conversations. “I didn’t think it was really that bad.”

“It is,” Darius said.

“Travis said he got along with Big,” I said.

“Big kind of treats him like a brother. He watched out for him and shit in school, but there’s no real connection there,” Darius said. “I can tell by the way he talks about Travis. Taylor is even worse.”

“Then why does Travis have such a hard-on for Zach?” I asked, wondering why he’d pick someone so incredibly unreliable and unstable.

“You did,” he noted.

“Did,” I said, emphasizing that it was past tense.

“Yeah, you’ll probably go through this deal, and in a couple of weeks you’ll be all into Zach again,” Darius said.

I looked at him, letting my eyes drill into his. “You are so wrong about that. I am done with him.”

“You sure you aren’t just letting your emotions get in the way of how you really feel?” he asked, kind of taunting me.

I shook my head, and it was funny that it bugged him that he didn’t get a rise out of me. “No. This isn’t just some deal where I want him to grovel so I can take him back. We’ve been sort of doing a slow-motion break up for the past six months.”

“No shit,” he said.

“And now it’s done,” I said.

“Good,” he said, and high-fived me. “So what are you going to do about Travis?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “What do you think I should do?”

“What you should probably do is stay as far away from him and the rest of that family as you can,” he said firmly.

“I like him,” I said, which was an understatement.

“Then you’re in for one rough ride,” he said.

“Probably,” I said. “I’m going to crash.” He gave me a mildly dirty look for grabbing the only bedroom on the plane. I ignored him, since I usually let him use it when it was just the two of us. Today it was my turn.

I went back to the bedroom, closed the door behind me, and felt relieved to be all by myself. There was no one to watch me melt down, no one to watch me cry, no one to see me in anguish. I collapsed on the bed and buried my face in a pillow, letting my tears flow as I thought about Travis. I had told Darius that I liked him, but I was well on my way to falling in love with him. He was such an awesome guy but in such a shitty situation. His wavy blond hair, his gray eyes with their blue tint, his handsome face and dynamic smile, not to mention his smoking hot body were reason enough for me to fall for him, but that wasn’t the real reason. He could be so mature and together sometimes, while others he was still a playful boy. I loved his goofiness. He acted like a dude in high school, but for some reason, with him I found that endearing rather than annoying.

Normally I kept my shields up so this shit didn’t happen. It was like I’d told Connie: I’d learned to keep myself from falling for a dude too fast, that way I didn’t get hurt. If I ever needed a reminder why that was a smart thing to do, I was getting it right now. I’d gone all in on Travis really fast, mostly because of how well we connected, and because of our past. It was like I’d sort of walked back into one of the most important friendships of my younger days and picked up right where we’d left off. The mutual attraction and the connection between us was surreal. Yet when it came down to making a choice, Travis had chosen Zach and not me. I guess I would have been able to understand it if I thought they had a bond that was even close to what Travis and I shared, but they really didn’t seem to. Zach had said that Travis was important to him, and he definitely had feelings for Travis, but it didn’t seem like they were very intense. I’d gotten a vibe from Travis that his feelings for Zach were even less than Zach’s were for him. Despite that, both of them had blown me off to be with each other. It would be so much easier to write Travis off if this thing made sense, but it didn’t.

It was even weirder since Travis was messing around with Zach and he was with Taylor. I mean, even if they weren’t close, it was pretty raw to pick her boyfriend to fuck. He’d done the same thing with Vaughan. Was this just some big psychological game, where he was getting back at Taylor by seducing her men? I probably should have found that pretty repulsive, but for him to do that, he had to be pretty upset and in a decent amount of pain over things. Darius was right: I should probably just use this latest issue as an excuse to cool things off with Travis and move on. I was in the middle of my gap semester, and the list of things I could do was almost infinite. A relationship with Travis would almost chain me to Malibu, and while that wasn’t tough duty, it wasn’t what I really wanted to do with this time.

All this emotional trauma must have exhausted me, because the next thing I knew a hand was shaking my shoulder. “Landing in 20 minutes,” Darius said crisply.

“Thanks,” I said, yawning. I got up and felt completely restored. I knew that if I dug a little deeper into my psyche, all that pain would come back, so I didn’t do that. Instead, I spent five minutes in the bathroom freshening up and then went up to sit with Darius.

“You OK?” he asked me.

“I’m OK,” I said. He looked confused, probably because I’d been damn near a basket case before. “Talking things through with you really helped. Thanks.”

He smiled at that because he liked to be a hero. “Cool,” he said.

“You have any idea what our plans are for this weekend?” I asked him.

“I know what I’m doing in the evenings, but otherwise I haven’t got a clue,” he said, leering at me. I cracked up at that, at his ongoing hookups with Bellona Carter.

“Guess we’ll find out soon enough,” I said. I resolved to be a good brother and just go with the flow. The plane landed and I changed the time on my watch to 4:30pm. By the time we got into the limo and made it to Tribeca, it was 5:30, which meant we’d made pretty good time since it was rush hour. Darius had called JJ and told him our ETA, so all we had to do was drag our suitcases and ourselves into the elevator for the brief ride up to JJ’s floor.

We started walking toward his condo when his door opened and JJ stood there smiling at us. He was wearing a sleek designer outfit that looked like it was part suit and part pajamas. “Welcome to New York!” he said cheerfully.

“He got laid,” Darius whispered to me, but instead of cracking up, I used that humor to force myself into a chipper mood.

“Hey,” I said, and gave him a big hug. Darius followed after me with a warm but less effusive greeting. He led us into the condo where we found Zanie and Jacinta waiting for us.

“I’m so glad you two could make it out for the weekend,” Zanie said smoothly. She was wearing a dark blue dress that was tight enough that it totally accentuated her thin body.

“I’ve been looking forward to it,” I lied, and gave her kisses on both cheeks. I left her to welcome Darius while I focused on Jacinta, switching to Spanish. “How are you doing?”

“I am doing very well,” she said, and gave me a warm hug. “I am working on dinner for you, so you will have some food in your stomach before you go out.”

“Now that is definitely something to look forward to,” I said.

“What happened to you?” JJ asked, referring to the bruise on my forehead.

“I ran into a shelf, but I think it makes me look kind of like a badass,” I joked.

“As if,” Darius said.

“You have about 20 minutes to unpack before dinner is ready,” Jacinta said. I used that as an excuse to escape to my room with my suitcase and unpack my clothes. I didn’t have time to change, and even if I would have, I had no clue what we were doing tonight. I made it to the dining room just as Jacinta was bringing food out. JJ was sitting at the head of the table, while Zanie was at the other end, much like it was at Escorial with Grand and Grandmaman. I sat across from Darius and he rolled his eyes at me to make fun of them. It was hilarious that Jacinta had made real food for Darius and me, while JJ and Zanie were having salads.

“I’m really sorry about the way I treated both of you the last time I was here,” I said to JJ and Zanie .

“Will, it’s really just fine,” Zanie said smoothly. “I’ve already forgotten about it.”

“Thanks,” I said, shooting her my full-wattage smile.

“You had no right to be that rude to us,” JJ said petulantly. If he’d gotten laid, the afterglow had clearly worn off, because he was back to being his normal, petulant self.

“I agree,” I said firmly. “That’s why I apologized.”

“Dude, what more do you want from him?” Darius asked JJ.
“I didn’t fly all the way out here to hang out with you only to have you act like a little bitch.” It took all my willpower to not laugh hysterically at JJ’s expression. He was so mad he looked like he might explode. He caught Zanie’s eye, and she raised an eyebrow, which seemed to mellow him out.

“It’s over,” JJ said.

“Thanks,” I said a bit insincerely, while Darius rolled his eyes again.

“I thought you were bringing a guest with you,” JJ said to me.

“It didn’t work out,” I said simply. “What’s our plan for the weekend?”

“Tonight, we’re going to a soiree at an art gallery,” Zanie said.

“I have plans tonight,” Darius said.

“I’ll go with you,” I said to JJ. I said it quickly, so JJ didn’t rip Darius up for blowing us off.

“Thank you, Will,” Zanie said. “We haven’t decided about tomorrow yet. There is a big opening on Fifth Avenue, a new store, and we’ve been asked to make an appearance.”

“I was planning to go up to Connecticut for the day,” JJ said.

“I really think the store opening would be so much better,” Zanie said. “They’re expecting us.” I could tell that this was a point of contention between them.

“Why are you going to Connecticut?” I asked JJ.

“The house I’m building for John Carullo is finished, and even though I’ve signed off on all the closing documents, tomorrow is the day that we get the keys, we can go in and see it, and they can start moving in,” JJ said.

“They?” Darius asked.

“Carullo and his friends, Toby and Tabitha, along with their soon to be born baby,” JJ responded.

“Can’t you go up next weekend?” Zanie asked. JJ seemed torn by this, but I knew how to handle him. I winked at Darius to let him know I had this problem handled.

“Dude, if you don’t want to go up to Connecticut, that’s fine,” I said to JJ. “I’ll go up instead. I’d love to see Carullo and his new house.”

“Will could be your representative,” Zanie said encouragingly.

“Plus, that way I can help him break in his new bedroom,” I said, and had to bite my lip so I didn’t laugh my ass off at JJ. He was almost turning green he was so jealous.

“I made a commitment to go up there tomorrow, so I’m going,” he said firmly, directing that statement at her. “If you guys want to come with me, that’s fine.”

“Sounds good,” I said. Zanie was clearly furious but opted to pout instead of making a scene.

“I think I’ll hang out in the city,” Darius said. “What about tomorrow night?”

“There’s a big fundraiser at MOMA,” JJ said, then turned to me. “I had to work hard to get you an extra ticket for your date, who isn’t here.”

“I’ll get a different date,” I said, like that was no big deal.

“I’m sure Patrick is already going,” JJ said.

“That’s cool, but if it’s really important, I’ll find someone else,” I said.

“Do whatever you want,” JJ said.

“I’m out of here,” Darius said, then stood up abruptly and left the room. I wasn’t sure what he was trying to accomplish, but he usually had a pretty good read on JJ.

“Thanks for dinner,” I said. “Can you help me figure out what I should wear?”

“I already have that planned for you,” JJ said, giving me a slight smile. We got up and he led me back toward my room. I paused along the way to peek into the kitchen to thank Jacinta for dinner, then when we got to my room, JJ strode confidently toward the closet. The stuff I’d hung up was in the middle, while off to the side, back further, were some clothes I hadn’t spotted before. “That’s for tonight,” he said, pointing at an outfit. “The one behind it is for tomorrow night.”

“You went shopping for me!” I said.

“I thought that would make things easier,” he said.

“Awesome,” I said. “I was worried that what I brought with me wasn’t good enough.”

“Problem solved,” he said. “We leave in an hour.”

“I’ll get ready,” I said. I took a quick shower, worked hard to get my hair to look as close to perfect as I could, then put on the clothes JJ had picked out for me. Some of the shit he wore was a little too out there, but he’d done a good job for me. I had a black jacket and pants, along with sleek black shoes, all of them Gucci. There was no shirt so I went with it. I buttoned the suit jacket and that left my chest partially exposed. It was a good thing I’d spent time at the gym, because this would look like crap on someone who was wimpier.

I walked out to the foyer to find Zanie and JJ waiting for me. “You look fantastic,” she said.

“I hired a fashion expert to dress me,” I said. That got a smile from JJ, and seemed to finish working him out of the bitchy mood he’d been in before. We had a limo tonight instead of JJ’s Maybach, since I was tagging along. No one made an issue about it, but I could sense that bothered them. This was so weird, because they’d all but begged me to go to this thing, and JJ had even dressed me. I guess they didn’t think I was good enough for their crowd. We pulled up to a chic gallery, exited the limo, then breezed into the gallery. JJ and Zanie vanished, heading off to mingle with people they knew. It was a pretty dick move, but I ignored it and chose to take it as a challenge. I noticed that JJ and Zanie migrated toward the fashion crowd, but not the big names.

I spotted Mayor Bloomberg and headed straight for him. I butted my way past the people around him in that same firm but polite way that Aunt Claire used, until I finally found myself in front of him. He looked at me, slightly confused. “Your Honor, I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m Will Schluter.” It was incredibly flattering to see the recognition on his face as he smiled broadly at me.

“Of course I remember you,” he lied. “How is your grandfather?”

“Living a life of leisure while still making a fortune,” I joked, getting a hearty laugh from him.

“I have to work hard not to fall too far behind him in the Forbes 400,” he said. His friendly demeanor sent a message to those around him that I was welcome, and I ended up spending an hour rubbing shoulders with the elite of New York. A lot of them complimented me on my outfit, and some of them used that as an excuse to touch my chest. It was kind of hot being the sex symbol in this group. About 45 minutes into it, I caught JJ’s eye and saw him giving me an evil look, which was hilarious. I’d just blended seamlessly into the elite crowd while he hung around with his second tier friends. When Donald Trump showed up with his whorish looking girlfriend, I bailed on that group and wandered around the gallery, checking out the art.

I was staring at a really cool painting. It was very modern and very colorful. I was contemplating whether to buy it or not when I felt a body approach me closely from behind. “You look incredibly sexy tonight,” Patrick said.

I turned around, smiled at him, and gave him a big hug. “Dude, I always look sexy.” He laughed while we were still embracing, and feeling his body convulse as we did was incredibly erotic.

“You do,” he said, as we broke off our hug. “You are probably really pissed at me for blowing you off this weekend.”

“Shut up,” I said, annoyed. “I told you that if you found someone who made you happy, that makes me happy.”

“He does make me happy, but he’s also bugging the shit out of me,” he grumbled.

“What happened?”

“I’m used to dating women, where when I start dating her that pretty much means we’re exclusive,” he said. “I didn’t know that dating guys didn’t work like that.”

“It can,” I said.

“It doesn’t work that way with Kenji, and he’s explaining to me that it doesn’t work like that in the gay world.”

I nodded. “He likes you and wants to be together, but he still wants to let other guys fuck him.”

“Pretty much,” he grumbled.

“Why are you unhappy about this?” I asked. “I mean, there’s a lot of dudes who are more than happy to be monogamous, but a lot of guys want some freedom.”

“I’m probably just dealing with something I’m not used to,” he said, still annoyed.

“Where’s he at tonight?” I asked.

“Working,” he said, looking at me like I was an idiot. “Friday night is a big night. If he comes over tonight, it won’t be until 3 or 4am.”

“I don’t think you’re looking at this thing right,” I said. “Think about it. That means you can fuck other guys too.”

“I guess,” he said.

“So let’s go,” I said. His eyes bulged. “I mean, it’s an okay part of your relationship for you to be with other guys. That means you can fuck me.”

“I guess it does,” he mused.

“See, this may not be such a bad idea,” I said.

He smiled. “Come on.” We headed for the door, and conveniently enough I spotted Zanie talking to a couple of people.

“Hey there,” I said to her, interrupting them. “Sorry to interrupt you, but I just wanted to let you and JJ know I’m leaving.”

“We’ll see you at home later,” she said. Her English accent was so smooth and silky. I thought it was hilarious that she referred to JJ’s condo as ‘home’.

“You’ll see me at home tomorrow morning,” I said, making her laugh. I gave her a kiss on the cheek then followed Patrick out. An hour later found me in Patrick’s condo, on my back on his bed, while he plowed into me. “I’m so close,” I said to him, almost a moan.

“Me too,” he panted. Our road to a climax was interrupted when my phone rang.

“Fuck,” I said, and reached over to hit the end button, then refocused on the dick in my ass.

“Gonna cum!” Patrick yelled, my clue to stroke my dick more rapidly. “Ungh!” he cried out as he blasted his load into the condom.

“My turn!” I shouted. “Fuck!” I screamed, then blew my load all over my chest. We panted for a minute, catching our breath. “That was fucking awesome.”

“It was,” he said, smiling at me. “I see your point. This relationship, where I can fuck other dudes, is a great idea.”

I laughed. “I’m glad you got clarity on that.”

He collapsed on his back, and I slid over and laid on his chest, stroking his nipple even as I sighed contentedly. “What’s bothering you?”

“What makes you think something is bothering me?” I challenged.

“I can just sense it,” he said. “It’s like you have this smooth veneer, but underneath that I can feel your turmoil. That and you have a bruise on your face and a massive bruise on your side. It’s fucking purple.”

“Yeah, the last week or so has been a huge fucking rollercoaster,” I said. I told him all about Travis and how we’d reconnected, and how we were both having sex with Zach, and how Zach had thrown me across the room.

“That’s pretty raw,” he said.

“Yeah, he crossed a line, and we’re over,” I said. “What I don’t get is why Travis blew me off for him.”

“After Zach did that to you, Travis still wants to be with him? What a fucking douche. You are so much better off with either one of them.”

“That was kind of tough to take, especially since I met with Zach yesterday morning. I told him that if he hurt Travis, I would destroy him. He told me that if Travis had to choose between me and Zach, he’d choose Zach hands down,” I said. “I figured that was complete bullshit, but then Zach called Travis and Travis called me and told me he wasn’t coming to New York.”

“He did you a favor,” Patrick said. “What a fucking asshole.”

“I know it seems that way, but I don’t think Travis is like that. There’s something going on here that I’m not seeing,” I said.

“Yeah, but the end result is that you’re laying here in bed with me after mind-blowing sex and crying on my chest,” he said.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, as I wiped my eyes with my hands. “I’ve learned in the past to go slow when I meet a dude and it starts to get serious. I’ve got these massive shields so I don’t get hurt. With Travis, I was so into him, I let down my guard. I was all in. It’s not just the past, it’s the way we are together. So the end result of this is that I’m shattered. My heart has been ground into pieces. And the worst part of it is that I don’t know what I did wrong, or what’s wrong with me.”

“You’ve had pain like this, so you know the drill,” Patrick said. “You know it will be really hard, but you’ll get through it.”

“You’re right, but for now it’s just a searing pain that rips me up inside,” I said. “And I have to bury that enough that I can be civil to JJ.”

He laughed at that, but I didn’t, because I really felt no joy. We drifted off to sleep until I heard the door lock jiggling as someone put a key in it. “Fuck!” Patrick said, completely freaking out. That woke me up pretty fast, especially when he sat up and all but tossed me off of him. “Kenji is home.”

“He lives with you?” I asked, even as I heard the door open.

“Pretty much,” Patrick said. “Dude, he’s going to catch us.”

“So?” I challenged him. He was totally freaked out, so I knew I had to jump in and take control. “I’ll handle this.”

A really cute dude walked into the room. He was short, and looked like a hotter version of Adam Brody. He saw me in bed with Patrick and frowned. “Well this is a surprise,” he said, clearly annoyed.

“I’ve been waiting to meet you,” I said, as I jumped out of bed with fortunate agility. “I’m Will.”

I smirked at him as his eyes moved up and down my body. My dick was plump but not completely erect, and his gaze focused on it, almost cracking me up. “You were waiting for me?” he asked a little more pleasantly.

“I was,” I said, as I moved forward and started unbuttoning his shirt. He smiled, I kissed him, then he all but ripped off his pants and hopped into the bed. “Scoot over,” I ordered. “You’re the meat in the middle of the sandwich.”