Young and Hungry - For Life - 19. She Can Smell it a Mile Away

The following morning Caleb had to be woken for breakfast and staggered to the breakfast table in just his shorts. “Morning guys, do you always get up so early?” he asked

“Eight o’clock is not early, can’t spend your whole day in bed. There’s a big wide world out there waiting for you” answered Justin

“Well, aren’t you the bright one this morning? There’s not really much in my world to bother getting up for. Usually it’s school, homework, chores at the refuge, an argument or two and then to bed”

“That’s why you are here to experience something more”

“And what have you planned for today?”

“After breakfast, my workout then we’ll have barbecue for lunch. You’re cooking remember”

“Workout?”

“Yes, I workout about three times a week, to keep in shape”

“So are you going to the gym?”

“No, not today. Sometimes I go to the gym but today I’ll just use the weights here. Do you want to join me?”

“Me, pumping iron? No way man”

“You know you’ve got a very lean build”

Then as Justin reached out to do a pinch test on Caleb’s waist, he said “You have a very low fat ratio, so any muscle work you do would show very quickly”

“Really, you can tell that”

“Sure”

“I’ve shown you mine, so how about you show me yours?” said Caleb

Justin pulled off his shirt and Caleb said “Hot man, can you make your pecs dance?”

Justin obliged and Caleb laughed. Then Justin said “Watch this” as he did a stomach vacuum that so impressed Caleb, he said “That’s insane, how do you do it? Where do all your guts go when you suck in like that?”

“It’s just muscle control. You build up your abs and when you tighten them and suck them in your organs move up into your rib cage as it expands”

“Can you show me how to do it?”

“Not right away, you need to strengthen your abdominals first and that takes lots of work. But your lean build is a good start”

“Yeah, but I don’t have access to a gym or any exercise gear at the refuge”

“You don’t need expensive workout machines or even weights to build muscle. You can do many types of crunches to strengthen your core and also use your own body weight to do a good workout without weights”

“Can you teach me?”

“Love to, I taught my cousins and they have developed their young bodies quite well without the use of weights”

“How old are your cousins?”

“Ah...sixteen and eighteen”

“So same age as me, but I’ll bet they look better than me, the skinny kid from the refuge”

“Yes, but it’s only because they put the work into it. If you really want to do it, I can tutor you”

“That would mean we’d have to see each other again”

“Ah, yes that’s true”

Craig had been listening to the conversation while he was preparing breakfast and when he heard the last statement from Caleb, he was thrilled and said “Do you want to come here regularly?”

“Can I?”

“As far as I’m concerned, yes you can. How about you Justin?”

“Ah...I suppose it would be OK”

“So then it’s up to you and Pamela to work out a timetable” said Craig

“I’ll talk to her as soon as I get back”

“If you’re really keen, we could all talk about it when she comes to pick you up this afternoon”

“That would be uber cool”

“Good, then we’ll do it”

***

Justin fired up the barbecue and told Caleb “When it warms, give it a scrape down with this wire brush to remove any fatty residue from last use”

“I didn’t know about that”

“Yeah it’s the easiest way to clean the grill, when it’s warm”

Caleb did as requested then when he finished and turned around, he was startled by the sight someone in the garden. He went into the kitchen, wire brush still in hand and said to Craig “There’s an old lady wandering around your garden. You don’t think she’s one of those Alzheimer’s people escaped from a nursing home?”

“No, she’s definitely not that”

“How do you know?”

“Because she’s my Gran, who lives in the flat down the back of the garden”

Caleb laughed and said “Now I get it”

“Get what?”

“Why they call then Granny flats”

“Yes, I suppose that’s why. Now put down that deadly weapon and I’ll take you to meet her”

<>

Neither Caleb nor Justin had put their shirts back on since breakfast, so when the trio went to meet Gran, she took one look at them as they approached and said “So many sexy men in my garden today. An old girl hardly knows where to look”

“Is she for real?” asked Caleb

Rather than take offence on behalf of Gran, Justin replied “Oh yes, our Gran is a great admirer of young men”

“You bet your sweet little bot I am sonny boy”

“Gran, please” said Craig

“Oh don’t spoil an old girl’s bit of fun”

“Of course not Gran, but our guest is only sixteen”

“Craig, when you get to my age, everybody younger looks sixteen. Now are you going to introduce me?”

“Of course. Gran this is Caleb and Caleb this is my grandmother Mrs Simpson”

“No I’m not”

Caleb whispered to Craig “Are you sure she’s hasn’t got a touch of the big A?”

Gran answered on Craig’s behalf “No I haven’t and my hearing’s not too bad either. What I was trying to say is, call my Gran, I stopped being Mrs Simpson when my husband died.

“Sorry, I’m just a bit nervous around old people, I didn’t mean any offence”

“And non taken Caleb. Also I was tired of those jokes about the other Mrs Simpson”

“Other Mrs Simpson?” questioned Caleb.

“Yes, the one that married the playboy Edward, after he de-kingded himself and all that palava.

“I’m not sure that de-kinged is a word Gran” suggested Craig

“I know, but I can’t remember the right word. Oops did I just have a senior’s moment? What will Caleb think?”

“What’s she talking about” Caleb asked Craig.

“Didn’t you learn about the abdication of King Edward the eighth in history class?”

“I must have been away that day”

Then Gran said “Caleb, what a grand old name, you don’t hear it much these days. Your parents are to be congratulated”

“Those bastards, I’d prefer not to talk about them”

“As you wish young man. Now tell me how you happen to know my two favourite young men in the whole world”

“Ah, Caleb is from the youth refuge, staying with us for a few days break from the home” Craig replied on Caleb’s behalf.

“That’s nice, so I’m guessing you’re not on good terms with you parents then”

“Yes M’am”

“Well you’re in good hands here. I won’t ask any more questions about your private affairs. I’ll leave you three to your barbecue”

“Oh M’am... that is Gran, are you going to have lunch with us?” asked Caleb

“Is that an invitation?”

Caleb looked at Justin, then at Craig and they both answered in unison “Yes, of course”

“In that case, I accept. I’ll just get rid of this grubby pinny and be back soon”

She headed towards her flat, then stopped, turned back and said “I’ll have...” But before she could finish, Justin said “A large G & T?”

<>

While Craig was preparing salads, and Justin and Caleb were putting the meat on the grill plate, Caleb said “She’s cool, wish I had grandparents like her”

“She’s the sweetest old lady I’ve ever met and you know, she treats me the same as Craig, as if she was my grandmother too. But she’s also the sharpest tool around here, so don’t think all that sweetness is all there is to her.”

“You mean, don’t try bullshitting her?”

“Exactly, she can smell it a mile away”

“Good to know”

<>

When Gran returned, Caleb served her drink and she said “I always say, a G & T always tastes better when served by a good looking young man”

“Well thank you M’am. Can I say though, that you must be the flirtiest old lady I’ve ever met”

“I could take offence at that”

“Sorry I didn’t mean to be offensive, but you do seem to like...well you...it’s just that you have an eye for young men”

“Oh, that’s not the offensive bit, I freely admit that sonny. It’s the old lady description I’m not too keen on” then she laughed.

“Oh, then should I refer to you as a senior?”

“Maybe just call me Gran without the ageist qualifier”

“Fair enough, you are an uber cool lady”

“Uber? Isn’t that a sort of taxi thing?”

“Um...yeah, but it also means extremely good, great, the best. Stuff like that”

“Well, I learn something every day from young people. That’s what keeps me young, having these two living here. You could do worse than have them for friends”

“Hey, can I ask you something a bit personal?”

“You can ask, but I don’t guarantee you an answer”

“Fair enough. What I want to ask is why someone of your age, no offence intended, is so cool with gay men?”

“Good question, young man and I will give you a straight answer, no pun intended. Firstly, Craig is my grandson, so I love him without conditions. If that’s the way he’s wired, fine, he’s a loving son, grandson and a bloody good and caring nurse. What more could I ask for. Then there’s Justin. He makes my grandson very happy and is also a fine young man with many talents. Do you want more reasons?”

“I think that pretty well covers it”

“Now, may I ask you a personal question?”

“Under the same rule”

“OK, are you gay also?”

“Oh, that’s an easy one, yes, without doubt”

“And another, is this the reason you are living at the refuge?”

“Yes again, you are as sharp as Justin said. My parents, that is my father, threw me out of home”

“I’m sorry to hear that, it was a very cruel and extremely bigoted action. You stressed, your father, so does that mean your mother is not so much against your orientation?”

“I’m not sure, she didn’t say much against me, but she didn’t defend me against my father, either”

“Then perhaps you should give her the benefit of the doubt for now, and when circumstances permit you make contact with her”

“Fuck...sorry, that just slipped out”

“It’s OK, what were you going to say?”

“I meant I’m surprised at how you think, but I like it. Craig and Justin are really lucky to have you”

“Thank you”

“Can I ask, what’s in that drink?”

“Gin and tonic water, plus ice and as you can see, a lemon wedge”

“So that’s why you call it G & T?”

“Yes, have you not heard of it before?”

“No, so you really like it?”

“It’s my favourite”

“And what does it taste like?”

“Hard to say, it’s slightly bitter...wait, is there a motive here?”

“Well sort of. I was wondering if I could taste it”

“But you’re only sixteen”

“Just a sip?”

“Alright, since I’m so uber cool, how could I refuse, but it’s our secret, OK?”

“Sure, I won’t tell the others”. Caleb sipped the drink, pulled a face and said “Yuk”

“I take it you don’t like it”

“No”

“Good, all the more for me. You know, it was the Queen Mother’s favourite tipple also. Though calling it a tipple, in her case, may be overly generous. It preserved her till 101, so that’s good enough for me”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about”

“No matter. Now what’s keeping those boys? A girl could die of hunger around here”

“In that case, I’m right onto it. Barbecue steak, coming up”

<>

When they sat down for lunch, Gran opened the conversation by saying “I saw you wielding the tongs earlier, are you a good cook?”

“Why don’t you taste the steak and give me a review”

“You’re on sonny boy”

She took her time tasting a few mouthfuls, while Caleb waited anxiously, then she declared “Craig, you may have some serious competition when it comes to cooking a steak”

Caleb smiled, then said “So, do you really like it?”

“Do I really need to interpret what I just said?”

“Snippy! But I get it. Thanks”

“You’re welcome, Sonny Boy”

“Hey, that’s a few times now, you’ve called me that”

“Sorry, do you not like it?”

“No...I mean yes...I like it”

“Then it shall be my nickname for you”

“Thanks, but only you can use it, OK?”

Craig looked at Justin and said “We seem to have been replaced around here”

“Oh you two know you can’t be replaced. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have room for another handsome young man in my life”

Caleb took his glass and said “Here’s to us”

The other three looked at each other, then to Caleb and said “To us”

***

About 4.00 pm, Pamela arrived and from the front door asked Justin “Is Caleb ready?”

“He is but wouldn’t you like to come in?”

“Not right now, I’ve got a few other kids to pick up”

“Um...Craig and I would really like you to come in, we have something to talk about”

“Oh, I’m sorry if Caleb has been a problem for you”

“No, it’s nothing like that”

“Then what is it?”

“Please come in and Craig will explain”

<>

Pamela did as asked and was thrilled when she was asked if Caleb could visit again next week.

“Is that what you want Caleb?”

“Oh yes Miss, I really enjoyed my weekend here. Do you know they’ve got the coolest old lady living in the garden?”

Pamela looked confused, so Craig explained “Caleb is referring to my grandmother, who lives in a flat down the back of the garden”

“Oh yes, of course...I was wondering...that’s wonderful. I hope you were respectful Caleb”

“Respectful? She loves me, even gave me a nickname, calls me Sonny Boy, isn’t that cool?”

“Sounds like things went well, so if you all agree, shall I bring Caleb at the same time next week?”

There were nods and yeses all round.

***

It was Monday afternoon and Thomas was in Jonathan’s office giving him an update on the Flinders Street property and requesting him to sign some cheques to pay household bills.

“Thomas, why do I have to sign these cheques all the time?”

“Since the household account was handed over when Virginia left, you are the only signatory on the account”

“Can we fix it so that you can sign for me?”

“If you’re sure that’s what you want”

“I do, I shouldn’t have to bother with this, it’s not much more than petty cash anyway”

“OK, I’ll download some forms from the bank and get them ready for your approval”

“Good man”

“And thank you for placing so much trust in me”

“Not at all, cheat me and I’ll have your balls for breakfast”

Thomas gave Jonathan a strange look, so Jonathan added “That was meant to be a joke, didn’t it come out right?”

“Yes I got it, but it’s not like you to speak like that”

Jonathan just smiled.

As Thomas was leaving, Lachlan arrived all excited.

“Hi Lachlan, you’re in a bit of a rush” commented Thomas

“Yes, I’ve got some exciting news for Jonathan”

“I’ll leave you to it then”

“No stay, it’s not private and I think you may be interested as well”

“Interested in what?” asked Jonathan

“I went over to see Quartermaine, not such a bad fellow, if you discount his poor weed control practices. Anyway, when I mentioned the blackberries he said firstly he didn’t know it was a problem as he never goes to that part of the property. Then when I asked if I could poison them from his side of the fence, he said he had no objection, but I had better do it soon as he could not be sure if the new owner would be so cooperative”

“Has he sold the property?” asked Jonathan.

“No, but that’s the exciting part. He’s thinking of selling and asked if we would be interested in buying it”

“Why would we want it?”

“To expand this property and it has assets that compliment ours”

“How so?”

“We have the pool, the rose garden and the beautiful wisteria pergola”

“Of course, but what’s your point?”

“His property has staff quarters, a tennis court, sauna, hot tub and stables”

“Do you want a horse?”

“Of course not”

“We don’t have to buy his property to get those things. If you want any of them, we can build them here”

“But I have a plan in mind for both properties”

“It may be a good real estate investment” suggested Thomas

“Maybe, but what’s your plan Lachlan?”

“If we had both properties with all those assets combined, then we could....”

***

Lachlan outlined his plan to Jonathan and Thomas, then asked “So what do you think?”

“I like it” suggested Thomas “And would like to explore it further”

“Well it’s not your money, is it?”

“No, but as your advisor, it’s my position to be honest with you about the viability of such a proposal”

“Fair enough, but Lachlan, do I need another business to run?”

“You may not, but I need a project to keep me busy and feel I am contributing”

“You contribute by keeping me happy”

“That’s nice of you to say so, but I don’t want to be a kept boy”

“It’s been some years since you were a boy, kept or otherwise”

“You know what I mean. I want a job and if I can make it profitable for you, then I will feel I am doing my bit”

“What do you think, Thomas?” asked Jonathan.

“At first glance, I like the idea, but I should do a feasibility study first and if that stacks up then a full business plan”

“Then, it seems the board has spoken. I don’t need to vote, you two have won the day. Thomas, go and do your sums or whatever and get back to me”

“Sure thing Jonathan”

“And Lachlan, does that plan suit you”

“Of course, I’ll work with Thomas on the proposal. In the meantime should I mention our interest to Quartermaine?”

“What do you think, Thomas?” Jonathan asked.

“Did he definitely say he was putting it on the market yet?”

“No, just said he was thinking of selling, he and his wife want to downsize for their retirement, but he did ask if we would be interested”

“Then let’s just leave it for now, don’t want him jacking up the price if he thinks we have plans for the property”

“But what if he lists it before we’re ready?” asked Lachlan

“Then you need to go over there regularly and get working on those blackberries”

“But not eliminate them too quickly, so I have reason to keep going back and talking to him”

“Exactly”

*****