Young and Hungry - For Life - 40. That Bloke Who Painted the Mona Lisa

Romel was home before Edward and waited up for him, because they had not talked about Edward’s urology consultations.

“Why are you so late?” asked Romel “You didn’t have a function at Divas”

“I was having a drink with Dean. He’s quite a decent chap you know”

“I thought he was supposed to serve drinks, not drink with the patrons”

“I use the term, a drink with Dean, very loosely. I drank, he listened”

“And what did he listen to?”

“Oh, this and that. Why are you so wound up tonight, have a bad night on the ward?”

“No work was fine, but we still haven’t talked about your prostate diagnosis”

“You’re right, let’s do it now”

“About time, so what did he say?”

“Before that, can you open a bottle while I go for a piss; I’m absolutely bursting”

“Your prostate, presumably?”

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Edward explained the diagnosis and the treatment options.

“Did he recommend any particular course to take and have you made a decision?”

“He’s leaning towards a complete removal of the prostrate. Although it is the most radical it is the most effective, quickest and has less side effects”

“It’s also the most expensive”

“That’s why I have health insurance. About time I got some of my premiums back”

“So are you happy with doing that?”

“Happy may not the right word, but if it’s the quickest and most effective, then yes I’m prepared to do that”

“Did he mention what form of surgery he plans to use?”

“No, but knock me out and get in there with a scalpel, is the usual method of surgery, isn’t it?”

“The surgeons at St. Vincent’s private are achieving great success with robotic assisted surgery on the prostrate”

“He said something about...what’s the name of that bloke who painted the Mona Lisa”

“So he did mention the Da Vinci surgical machine”

“That’s it, but I wasn’t listening too carefully. When he said surgery, I thought radio might be better at the time. But I’ve had second thoughts on that. Attending a few times a week and side effects, I think I might prefer the surgery and get it over and done with, in one day”

“The robotic surgery is far less invasive than traditional surgery. It’s keyhole type surgery, therefore less cutting and quicker recovery time. You’ll probably only be in hospital two nights”

“Then that’s what I’ll do. I’ll call him tomorrow and get it organised as soon as possible”

“He’ll probably do it at St Vincent’s. They have an excellent robotic surgery theatre there”

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A few days later Edward’s surgery booking was confirmed.

“Great” said Edward, as he hung up and turned to Romel. “I’m booked for 20 December, so we can have the drinks party before that and then I’m all sorted before Christmas Day. Do you realise this will be our first Christmas Day together?”

“So what do you usually do on Christmas Day?”

“Nothing special, I don’t like crashing other families’, even though I sometimes get invitations, so we’ll just have to start our own new tradition, if that’s not a contradiction of terms”

“I suppose you want to invite the usual suspects”

“You remembered that saying. I thought you didn’t like it?”

“Didn’t seem so bad after you explained it”

“Well....I don’t know. They must all have their own family traditions for Christmas Day, that’s why I always have my party early in December. How about just you and me and Juanito and....I wonder what Raj does on Christmas Day, his family’s not Christian”

“Lots of non-Christians, in Australia still have a family gathering on that day. Even if you are not a follower of Christ, it is still a local tradition to gather and share a special meal”

“Like me I suppose. I don’t care whose birthday it’s supposed to be, any excuse for a party, hey?”

“That’s one way of putting it”

“Well then, the only definite starters are you and me. If Raj’s family has a dinner, then maybe Juanito will be invited there. You know, the more I think about it, the more I like the idea of our first Christmas together, being just us. We’ll sleep late, and when we do get up we won’t have to dress up. Then we can eat and drink what we like when we like, all day. I might even ravish you under the Christmas tree”

“Mmm”

“I expected a bit more enthusiasm, than that”

“How about, mmm, mmm”

“That’s better, I’ll take what I can get”

***

“Gran, remember we talked about going into the biscuit business”

“No, but I do remember you suggesting we tweak the recipe”

“That’s just it, if we can update the recipe and produce enough quantity we could sell them and share the profits of C & Gs Quad Choc Biscuits”

“Where would we sell them? It’s been a lot of years since I was a girl guide”

“I don’t know what that’s got to do with biscuits Gran, but I was thinking we could sell them at Poppy’s”

“At a restaurant, is that appropriate?”

“It’s perfect. We put a display on the cashier’s counter and customers can buy something to take home”

“Maybe Jessica was right about you”

Caleb looked puzzled, so Gran added “Old head on young shoulders”

“Is that good?”

“Yes, that’s very good and now you explain it, I think your biscuit idea is also”

“So we’ll do it”

“I’m happy to help with the baking, but you’ll have to ask the boys about selling them at Poppy’s”

“No probs, leave it to me”

“So, first thing we need to do is try out this recipe idea and test it on some friends” suggested Gran.

“Can we start today, it’s a bit hot for gardening”

“I haven’t got three types of choc chips”

“Easy, I’ll peddle down to the supermarket. Give me a list of what we need. I haven’t banked my wages yet so I’ll use that as my starting capital”

“Oh very businesslike aren’t we?”

“Aim big Gran, that should be our motto”

“While you go shopping, I’ll gather the rest of the ingredients and baking trays, so meet me in the other kitchen when you get back. The ovens are bigger than mine”

“Yeah, about that, how come they have two big ovens?”

“The boys used to prepare the food for their catering business there, before they bought Poppy’s. In fact that’s why they bought it, because they outgrew that kitchen”

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The odd couple spent the afternoon sifting, mixing, baking and chatting.

“While you were at the shops I was thinking about packaging for our biscuits. In the bakery down the road they pack theirs in little plastic boxes, with flip up lids. They come in two sizes, for six or twelve biscuits. Maybe Craig can get them from one of their wholesale suppliers”

“Sounds nice Gran, but think of all that plastic waste we’d be creating. We should all be reducing the amount of plastic waste we create”

“You know, that woman on TV the other night was right. It will be the younger generation that will show us fossils how to save the planet”

“That’s a nice thing to say Gran, but still not too late to learn”

“You’re right Sonny Boy, how about a small cellophane bag?”

“Sounds better”

“But we need to make it look attractive. When I used to make jams for the school fete we used second hand jars, but covered the lid with a bit of coloured fabric and tied a piece of ribbon around the neck. How about we tie up the bag with a piece of fancy ribbon?”

“Great, then we’ll have an attractive, marketable product with minimum packaging”

“Shake hands partner” concluded Gran.

“So let’s get baking, and tomorrow I could take some to school and ask Lucas for his opinion”

“Who’s Lucas?”

“My new friend at school”

“That’s good you are making friends at your new school. You should invite him over some time”

“I’ll do that. I told him about you, I’m sure you’ll like each other”

“And pray tell, what did you find so interesting about me that you had to tell your friend?”

“How super cool you are”

“Oh that’s alright”

“And I might have told him you’re an outrageous flirt”

“What! I’m a respectable senior woman I don’t need that sort of reputation”

“Too late for that, Gran”

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Although Justin and Craig came home late, their home still smelled of baking.

“Wow, that smells good. Someone’s been baking again” said Craig.

“Hope they left some for us”

As they walked in to the kitchen, Justin said “Looks like they have. Chocolate biscuits for supper?” he asked.

“And there’s an envelope with them” While Justin filled the kettle, Craig read from the envelope “Says here, ‘Business Proposition’. What could that mean?”

“Open it and find out”

Craig paused, so Justin grabbed the envelope, ripped it open and read from the card “The Gran and Caleb Biscuit Company would like you to accept this plate of biscuits as a sample of our new and delicious product. When properly packaged and labelled, we would like to sell them at your excellent restaurant. We are sure your customers will love to take away a unique product that will remind them of their visit and further enhance their fine dining experience at Poppy’s. What does all that mean?”

“Sounds like we have a couple of entrepreneurs living here”

“And using our kitchen while we’re away”

“Good to see it put to productive use” concluded Craig.

***

An agreement was reached between the manufacturer and the retailer, so they went into production the following weekend. Caleb printed the compulsory nutritional content labels, after using the Food Standards website that provided a calculator and template.

“Gran, the way you have packaged these looks great, but we need an eye catching display method”

“How about a nice woven basket, it will enhance the Home Made feeling”

“I am thinking...maybe...a box or little shelf with our name...and we need a logo”

“OK, there’s a perfectly good workbench and tools in the garage. Nigel was a bit of a handyman. And I never like to see waste, so I saved a lot of bits of wood offcuts from the building of my flat. They’re in the garage too. How are you with a hammer and nails?”

“Not so good”

“Then maybe one of the boys can help you. I know Craig used to help his Gramps”

“I’ll ask, and in the meantime, I’ve got a great idea for a logo, with both of us on it”

“No, no, no. You’re not putting my picture out there”

“How about a...what do you call a black picture, like a shadow?”

“A silhouette?”

“That’s it. A silhouette of a senior lady and a young man, face to face”

“Go for it, Sonny Boy”

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Caleb designed a product label for the front of the package and a nutritional content label for the back. With Craig and Justin’s help he built a display unit and two weeks later the biscuits were on sale at Poppy’s.

They were so popular, Gran found most of her days filled by baking, and Caleb packed the day’s production when he came home from school.

With Christmas approaching, Caleb suggested they produce a larger pack, suitable for gift giving and he designed a Christmas themed label. Craig sourced a generic cardboard packet from a supplier and Caleb dressed it with his Christmas label.

“Gran, what does the family do on Christmas Day?”

“Since I handed over the responsibility to Craig’s parents we have had Christmas lunch at their place”

“I haven’t met them yet, are they nice?”

“Harry and Cathy are wonderful people and excellent parents. You’ll love them and I’m sure they’ll love you”

“So will we go to their place for Christmas?”

“That’s probably the plan.... but now that I think about it, maybe it’s time for Harry and Cathy to pass the baton to the next generation”

“What does that mean?”

“I’m thinking it might be time for Craig and Justin to host Christmas”

“Here?”

“Yes, would you like that?”

“That would be so cool. We could decorate and cook lots of great food, and can we have a big Christmas tree?”

“I’m sure we could do that anyway, but let me work on Harry and Cathy first”

***

Craig and his parents were delighted with Gran’s suggestion, so plans for Christmas at Kingsford were set in train.

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While lying in bed, Justin said “I’m really excited about having our first Christmas in our home. Why do you think your parents changed the regular plans?”

“I did hear from Caleb, it was Gran’s idea and Mum and Dad were happy to hand over, so it looks like we are now the Christmas Day hosts ongoing”

“That’s great but we’ve got a lot to do”

“Catering is our business, it will be easy. However I have a strong feeling that there are two others in this household that will want some input”

“If you mean Gran and Caleb, I’m sure you’re right. I wouldn’t be surprised if they take over” suggested Justin

Craig laughed and added “All the less for us to do”

“So what do you want for a Christmas present... and we’ve also got to think about what we give Caleb. It has to be really special for his first Christmas with us”

“I’ll see if he has dropped any hints to Gran, but for me, I do have something in mind”

“Great, it’s always so hard to think of presents for you. So what do you want, is it big and expensive?”

“Yes”

“Oh, I hope I can afford it...let me guess...a new watch or some other jewellery item? I might be able to get a discount from the Prices”

“No, nothing like that”

“Is it electronic...I know, a new phone”

“No, but it has to do with communication”

“OK, I can work with that...no I can’t what do you use to communicate besides a phone?”

“Talking”

“Talking, how do I give you talking? Hang on...you want me to make a speech on Christmas Day? That’s not big or expensive, but it is scary”

“When I agreed it was big and expensive, I didn’t mean physically big or costing a lot of dollars”

“Well what the fuck do you mean?”

“It will be a big thing for you to do and will cost you much emotionally”

“I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re on about, so spit it out”

“I want you to talk to someone about this hatred inside you. As you haven’t been inclined to talk to me about it over the last month, I want you to talk to someone else”

“You mean a shrink?”

“Not necessarily, how about a friend. A problem shared and all that”

“I don’t see that I have a problem. Edward betrayed our friendship and I have acted accordingly. So what’s to share?”

“If that were all there was to it, we might be able to live with that. But this thing inside you is eating you up. Even if you chose, never to speak to Edward again, fine, Edward would be able to cope with that. But I’m more concerned about your emotional health. I know you say you’re fine, but you are not”

“Well Mr Psychobabble, what insights do you have that makes you think that?”

“You have been short tempered with the waiters at work, you find fault with everything they do. Then last week when Anthony asked you to talk to a dissatisfied customer, which is your job as head of front of house, you told him to sort it himself. Gran was a bit miffed when you told her she left the kitchen untidy after baking all day. Even Caleb has not been immune to your nitpicking”

“What did I do to Caleb?”

“You were right to remind him that his bike should be stored properly, but your rant about taking the bike off him was way over the top”

“OK, maybe I’ve been a bit short with people lately, but I’ve got a lot going on”

“Like what, our business has picked up better than I expected after lockdown, financially we are doing well and Caleb has been the model teenager. Whatever you have going on is all of your own making and all in your head”

“But...”

“No buts, just talk it out with someone, I don’t give a fuck who, just do it!”

There was silence, then Craig added “If your attitude doesn’t change before Christmas, then I’m not sure we should have Christmas here. It can be a stressful time on families, I don’t want you adding to the stress”

*****