Falls Creek Lessons - Links - 49. Chapter 49

[Dan Cronin]

The impression I got of Greg while we were out skiing seems to be correct. He’s one of those all-round good guys. At least he’s obviously really fond of his sister, and her boyfriend, if he’s willing to help set this up for them.

It would be nice if I got along with my sister as well as Greg gets along with his, but Alisha killed that idea off a couple of years ago. She and Dad are just so much alike. Neither can really accept that I’m gay.

Alisha wants nothing to do with me, and doesn’t even invite me to her kids’ birthdays anymore. Dad has to put up with me when I’m not up here skiing, but homosexuality is a taboo topic at home. He’s ignoring what I am, and he just doesn’t understand how much that hurts. He seems to think if he pretends it doesn’t exist, I will become the son that matches this image he has in his head – an image that bears little resemblance to reality.

I had a bit of relief from the pain when I was going out with Shane, but I couldn’t take him home, so he never really appreciated why I wanted to escape this winter to the snowfields. We broke up just before I came up here, and that only made staying in Melbourne that much more unattractive. In hindsight, I don’t think he really knew me that well. I got the impression he really just wanted someone to go to parties with, rather than someone to share his life.

I love the ski fields and if I could stay up here all year, I would. But I really need some friends too. I don’t know how or why, but I feel that Greg could be a good friend. I lost so many when I came out of the closet that friends are precious to me now. It’s a pity that Greg’s straight, because I could easily fall for him, but there is no point wishing for the moon. A simple friend is enough for me.

Since he’s cool with Paul and Chris, he will hopefully be cool with me when he finds out that I’m also gay. I don’t really want to risk the pain of losing another friend because of something I can’t control, but if I don’t take the risk, I could be friendless for life.

So, it’s time to prove that I can be friend, and hopefully Greg will return the favour.

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