Bob D. Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 I... I... there are no words to describe my opinion of you right now Cj... so hopefully the following picture will do. I must admit... that picture is a fake... Cj did not look like the Rev. Thaddeus... but instead... here is a pic of the real Sith Lord C James, Darth Hornius!
C James Posted August 1, 2007 Author Posted August 1, 2007 The ending! You got me craving to know what happens and I hope Veronica doesnt die because shes totally awesome! Anyway good chapter and evil EVIL ending! Keep the chapters rolling! ((Hugs)) Thanks Trevor!! Just two more chapters left. I... I... there are no words to describe my opinion of you right now Cj... so hopefully the following picture will do. Sith Lord Cj, before the transformation Awww, but I'm not evil... And I never use cliffhnagers, so there is only one reasonable explanation; it's all Shadowgod's fault! I must admit... that picture is a fake... Cj did not look like the Rev. Thaddeus... but instead... here is a pic of the real Sith Lord C James, Darth Hornius! ROFL! Darth Hornius! I love it! BTW everyone, The ending wasn't easy to write. I grow attached to my characters, so having one in a bad situation wasn't easy.
Conner Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 I must admit... that picture is a fake... Cj did not look like the Rev. Thaddeus... but instead... here is a pic of the real Sith Lord C James, Darth Hornius! Sith Lord C James, Darth Honrius! I love it, too. Yes, I can see why Darth Hornius transformed into a goat. He's far less conspicuous now. This certainly explains a lot of the sociopathic goings-on in FTL. It's clear that Darth Hornius didn't get cuddled much in his formative years. So what will Chris and Steve do now? Will they follow the instructions and go alone and unarmed? Will Chris and Steve tell Chad what's going on? Betty has her gun back, courtesy of Dex. We all know what her reaction will be! It also strikes me that the Piedmont sheriff has nothing to lose at this point. He's totally desparate. How will Eric figure into all of this? This was the worst cliffie ever. I was all ready for the pool party, too! Conner
Site Administrator wildone Posted August 1, 2007 Site Administrator Posted August 1, 2007 (edited) Well lets see how I can give some opinions without sounding like a jerk about this latest chapter. :wacko: First off, I guess the word I'm looking for to describe how I felt after reading the chapter, might be underwhelmed. Probably with all the revelations in the past chapters and the action, this one seemed to be lacking a bit of that gusto. It must have been difficult to write the chapter as it seems you wanted to wrap up the Thaddeus and the lawsuit line, continue the mystery behind our beloved Eric , and to build on the relationship or non relationship between Dex and Betty and set up the supposedly Meth lab in the desert. It sort of felt that the ending was put in to liven up the chapter, which it did. Maybe part of the problem I'm having is that you answered so many questions in the last chapter, that you opened up a few different cans of worms in this chapter. For that you are Evil . Not to mention the cliffhanger . If anything, it does make me wonder how you can possibly wrap up all the loose ends over the next two chapters. I know you ask for criticisms of your stories, and hopefully I have been constructive in this. In no way have I meant any of it to be negative. Steve Edited August 1, 2007 by wildone
C James Posted August 1, 2007 Author Posted August 1, 2007 Sith Lord C James, Darth Honrius! I love it, too. Yes, I can see why Darth Hornius transformed into a goat. He's far less conspicuous now. This certainly explains a lot of the sociopathic goings-on in FTL. It's clear that Darth Hornius didn't get cuddled much in his formative years. So what will Chris and Steve do now? Will they follow the instructions and go alone and unarmed? Will Chris and Steve tell Chad what's going on? Betty has her gun back, courtesy of Dex. We all know what her reaction will be! It also strikes me that the Piedmont sheriff has nothing to lose at this point. He's totally desparate. How will Eric figure into all of this? This was the worst cliffie ever. I was all ready for the pool party, too! Conner Hi Conner! The Piedmont sheriff is indeed desperate. And a cliffie? Me? But I don't use cliffies... Somehow, it must be shadowgod's fault. Well lets see how I can give some opinions without sounding like a jerk about this latest chapter. :wacko: First off, I guess the word I'm looking for to describe how I felt after reading the chapter, might be underwhelmed. Probably with all the revelations in the past chapters and the action, this one seemed to be lacking a bit of that gusto. It must have been difficult to write the chapter as it seems you wanted to wrap up the Thaddeus and the lawsuit line, continue the mystery behind our beloved Eric , and to build on the relationship or non relationship between Dex and Betty and set up the supposedly Meth lab in the desert. It sort of felt that the ending was put in to liven up the chapter, which it did. Maybe part of the problem I'm having is that you answered so many questions in the last chapter, that you opened up a few different cans of worms in this chapter. For that you are Evil . Not to mention the cliffhanger . If anything, it does make me wonder how you can possibly wrap up all the loose ends over the next two chapters. I know you ask for criticisms of your stories, and hopefully I have been constructive in this. In no way have I meant any of it to be negative. Steve Hi Steve!!! Thanks!! (and I mean that!) I do indeed like critical feedback. It's how I learn. This is my first serial, so I know I've made loads of errors. Also, what you say ties into a few things I've been thinking. You are right, I did want to tie up the Thaddeus line. The Beelzebub scene at the beginning was just for fun. There are a few things in this chapter that are there for a reason, all of which should be apparent in 37 (and I can't discuss) , but I agree with you in the main; I haven't been happy with quite a few of my chapters since the trip to Hawaii began. The general feel of this chapter was supposed to be "things working out well, it's almost over" while I laid some groundwork for the finale, and then a surprise twist at the end as a lead-in to what happens next. Chris' closing remarks in the last chapter, "We'd won!" were also part of the setup; they went into this chapter thinking it was over. They were, perhaps, mistaken. But back to the chapter problems; too many times since they left for Hawaii, I've felt "that chapter was lacking". I haven't been able to put my finger on why, but my leading guess is too much extranious info; for example, their sojourn in the FBI's safehouse. That could have been condensed, a lot. So could their days on Maui. I guess I got too much into the travellogue mode. The awkward reality is FBI stay wasn't central to the plot. As for this last chapter, my hope is that it makes sense when taken with the next two. There are, however, surely ways I could have made it better, and that's what I need to figure out. Once y'all have seen the two remaining chapters, I'd love any and all advice. You were right; it took a long time to write the chapter; I was never fully happy with it. Perhaps it would have been better trimmed down and added to the end of Ch 35? It will all be tied up in two chapters, plus a small epilogue that will be posted alongside the final. BTW, I think I can make one promise, and hope it's not a spoiler; the remaining chapters won't be dull. Thanks!! CJ
Site Moderator TalonRider Posted August 1, 2007 Site Moderator Posted August 1, 2007 All this talk is giving CJ a big head and it's getting even bigger. Jan
Benji Posted August 1, 2007 Posted August 1, 2007 All this talk is giving CJ a big head and it's getting even bigger. Jan That's not gonna leave a lot of room for those goat horns......p.s. CJ If you have trouble thinking of what to do with Eric, I have access to weapons LOL!!
Jack Scribe Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 All this talk is giving CJ a big head and it's getting even bigger. Giving CJ what? Oh, I see. The last chapter has ruined my manicure. Between biting nails and holding on the edge of a cliff, what's a poor man to do? "Extremis malis extrema remedia." Jack
Conner Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 Giving CJ what? Oh, I see. The last chapter has ruined my manicure. Between biting nails and holding on the edge of a cliff, what's a poor man to do? "Extremis malis extrema remedia." Jack Nothing ever gets by you, Jack! Conner
C James Posted August 2, 2007 Author Posted August 2, 2007 All this talk is giving CJ a big head and it's getting even bigger. Jan Lol... Who, me? That's not gonna leave a lot of room for those goat horns......p.s. CJ If you have trouble thinking of what to do with Eric, I have access to weapons LOL!! Hi Benji!!! Yep, I'd have trouble without my horns... They are so handly when I lose my can opener. Giving CJ what? Oh, I see. The last chapter has ruined my manicure. Between biting nails and holding on the edge of a cliff, what's a poor man to do? "Extremis malis extrema remedia." Jack Hi Jack!!! It's all Shadowgod's fault. I'm not quite sure how, yet, but it must be. The ending was, I agree, a little tense. However, I had to do it that way, to lead into the next chapter. I was also part of this chapter, in that the sheriff's call took place as they were arriving for their birthday party. CJ
C James Posted August 2, 2007 Author Posted August 2, 2007 BTW, Now we know why Thaddeus was so upset about his Church; not only was it his showpiece for his ego, but it was self-insured via an illegal scheme. Did this fit ok?
Ieshwar Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 Hi CJ, I have read the chapter. Great as susual. So will the next chapter discuss about the start of the final battle? J As for the church thing, it
Site Moderator TalonRider Posted August 2, 2007 Site Moderator Posted August 2, 2007 This topic is getting boring. It needs to move.
Conner Posted August 2, 2007 Posted August 2, 2007 (edited) BTW, Now we know why Thaddeus was so upset about his Church; not only was it his showpiece for his ego, but it was self-insured via an illegal scheme. Did this fit ok? Yes and no on that. No doubt that he would regret not having valid insurance. Duh! As well, his congregation will want to tar and feather him...if he ever sees the light of day again....which I sincerely hope he doesn't....well, it would be ok in the prison yard. As far as Thaddeus is concerned, the church's assests were his own to do with as he pleased. From a business sense then, it doesn't work. While insurance premiums can be stiff, we're not talking huge quantities of money to be saved compared to the risk involved, unless of course, the money saved is extremely well invested. I suppose, though, that if he were ever to do the arson thing, he'd go get valid coverage. Who would question such a holy man as himself. Conner Edited August 2, 2007 by Conner
C James Posted August 2, 2007 Author Posted August 2, 2007 Yes and no on that. No doubt that he would regret not having valid insurance. Duh! As well, his congregation will want to tar and feather him...if he ever sees the light of day again....which I sincerely hope he doesn't....well, it would be ok in the prison yard. As far as Thaddeus is concerned, the church's assests were his own to do with as he pleased. From a business sense then, it doesn't work. While insurance premiums can be stiff, we're not talking huge quantities of money to be saved compared to the risk involved, unless of course, the money saved is extremely well invested. I suppose, though, that if he were ever to do the arson thing, he'd go get valid coverage. Who would question such a holy man as himself. Conner Thaddeus had a non-profit corporation for the church, and he was using the premiums scam to boost his personal rake-off; a tax-dodge to generate tax-free personal income (and also hide said pay from his congregation). This is, due to the risk involved, dumb, but I've seen it happen a lot. He was also "living out of the corporation", using corporate assets as his own, which is probably the most common mistakes small corporate owners make. He was very, very dumb to assume he could get away with that booby-trap, and that it wouldn't destroy his church. But he was desperate, and desperate people do weird things. It is fair to say that his congregation will be less than pleased.
EMoe57 Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 It is fair to say that his congregation will be less than pleased. To paraphrase a DK quote, we get the religious leaders we deserve. Same goes for Fred Phelps et al...
C James Posted August 3, 2007 Author Posted August 3, 2007 To paraphrase a DK quote, we get the religious leaders we deserve. Same goes for Fred Phelps et al... Hi Emoe!!! I'd have thought that you would be a supporter of Rev. Thaddeus J. Emoe... Totally agree with you about Phelps and his ilk...
Site Administrator Graeme Posted August 3, 2007 Site Administrator Posted August 3, 2007 I'm late coming in with this chapter, but I have an excuse -- I had almost two days without internet access (I refused to pay the hotel $25 for a couple of hours....) I'm actually glad -- I've got less time to be stressed out before the next chapter is posted I still think there was something wrong with Thaddeus's plea to save the church, but I accept that he wasn't thinking clearly. Even a moment's thought would've shown that if they DID save the church, the congregation would still find out that there was no insurance to fix whatever damage had been done. As for the boys.... I believe I suggested that the Piedmont sheriff was desperate and would try something. I expected him to go for Chris, but he was smarter than that and found a way to make Chris come to him. The business about the data stick doesn't make a huge amount of sense, since I think stopping the case against him is still more important than their original scheme. However, if they could make the fake cards quickly and sell them quickly (even at a reduced premium), that might give him the money to either fight the case against him, or to escape. I don't know what channels he has in place for getting rid of the cards once they are made, so for the sake of the story I will assume he could get paid quickly. What will Chris and Steve do? The first thing is I expect Dex to involve Betty. The others from Lonesome Valley will also get involved because of Veronica -- even Chris and Steve will realise that they need to bring the others in because it is no longer just them -- they wouldn't be able to face Chad (using one example) if they tried to rescue Veronica without help and failed because there were one person short.... I see Chris and Steve being the point guards, and the others will scramble to help. One worrying thing -- the sheriff was using Veronica as the incentive. If I was in the Piedmont sheriff's shoes, I would have trouble justifying keeping Mr. Williams and the Lonesome Valley sheriff alive. He has Veronica to make the boys do what he wants -- he doesn't need the others. All I can hope is that he's keeping them alive for insurance and that they aren't already dead....
Bob D. Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 I'm late coming in with this chapter, but I have an excuse -- I had almost two days without internet access (I refused to pay the hotel $25 for a couple of hours....) I'm actually glad -- I've got less time to be stressed out before the next chapter is posted I still think there was something wrong with Thaddeus's plea to save the church, but I accept that he wasn't thinking clearly. Even a moment's thought would've shown that if they DID save the church, the congregation would still find out that there was no insurance to fix whatever damage had been done. As for the boys.... I believe I suggested that the Piedmont sheriff was desperate and would try something. I expected him to go for Chris, but he was smarter than that and found a way to make Chris come to him. The business about the data stick doesn't make a huge amount of sense, since I think stopping the case against him is still more important than their original scheme. However, if they could make the fake cards quickly and sell them quickly (even at a reduced premium), that might give him the money to either fight the case against him, or to escape. I don't know what channels he has in place for getting rid of the cards once they are made, so for the sake of the story I will assume he could get paid quickly. What will Chris and Steve do? The first thing is I expect Dex to involve Betty. The others from Lonesome Valley will also get involved because of Veronica -- even Chris and Steve will realise that they need to bring the others in because it is no longer just them -- they wouldn't be able to face Chad (using one example) if they tried to rescue Veronica without help and failed because there were one person short.... I see Chris and Steve being the point guards, and the others will scramble to help. One worrying thing -- the sheriff was using Veronica as the incentive. If I was in the Piedmont sheriff's shoes, I would have trouble justifying keeping Mr. Williams and the Lonesome Valley sheriff alive. He has Veronica to make the boys do what he wants -- he doesn't need the others. All I can hope is that he's keeping them alive for insurance and that they aren't already dead.... He needs at least 2 alive to pull off his plan... one to "transfer" the data stick, the other to get away with... Dad is exchanged for the stick, and Veronica runs off with him to Rio as his love sick heram girl... straight people don't make sense sometimes eh?
EMoe57 Posted August 3, 2007 Posted August 3, 2007 straight people don't make sense sometimes eh? THANKS - I needed that! *~*~*~*~*~ DAMN! That's 2 pages in a row that I've started in this thread! And no, CJ - that doesn't make me a post-a-holic! Posting FOUR THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN in less than EIGHTEEN months DOES!!!!
C James Posted August 4, 2007 Author Posted August 4, 2007 I'm late coming in with this chapter, but I have an excuse -- I had almost two days without internet access (I refused to pay the hotel $25 for a couple of hours....) I'm actually glad -- I've got less time to be stressed out before the next chapter is posted I still think there was something wrong with Thaddeus's plea to save the church, but I accept that he wasn't thinking clearly. Even a moment's thought would've shown that if they DID save the church, the congregation would still find out that there was no insurance to fix whatever damage had been done. I should have been clearer on that... Oops. Basically, my angle (as explained in passing by Rick) was that in a dodge to generate some tax-free income, Thaddeus had left his church unprotected. Stupid, yes, but I've seen this in RL. It was also, I guess we could say, the throne of his ego. Plus as you say, he was badly rattled and not thinking clearly. And BTW, you were right, the Piedmont Sheriff did make a move. What will Chris and Steve do? Can I give a minor spoiler here? They will probably not proceed as planned with their birthday party. He needs at least 2 alive to pull off his plan... one to "transfer" the data stick, the other to get away with... Dad is exchanged for the stick, and Veronica runs off with him to Rio as his love sick heram girl... straight people don't make sense sometimes eh? ROFL!!!! THANKS - I needed that!*~*~*~*~*~ DAMN! That's 2 pages in a row that I've started in this thread! And no, CJ - that doesn't make me a post-a-holic! Posting FOUR THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN in less than EIGHTEEN months DOES!!!! Emoe, Im sorry you are still in denial about being a postaholic. Hang in there buddy, the first step: admitting it, is the hardest. BTW, The next chapter of FTL is entitled "Lock and Load."
Site Administrator wildone Posted August 4, 2007 Site Administrator Posted August 4, 2007 BTW, The next chapter of FTL is entitled "Lock and Load." Ohh, this chapter sounds like it has Betty all over it !!!! Now for something . Can anyone explain this to an ignorant, non gun toting Canadian what Lock and Load means (we'd much prefer to both apologize and go out for a beer than pull out a gun in most situations ). My understanding of it, even though I've never handled one or fired one, is that this expression came from the old Westerns with a rifle or shotgun. Wouldn't you first load the gun, then lock the barrel in place, then fire? So shouldn't it be load and lock? Just curious Steve
C James Posted August 4, 2007 Author Posted August 4, 2007 Ohh, this chapter sounds like it has Betty all over it !!!! Now for something . Can anyone explain this to an ignorant, non gun toting Canadian what Lock and Load means (we'd much prefer to both apologize and go out for a beer than pull out a gun in most situations ). My understanding of it, even though I've never handled one or fired one, is that this expression came from the old Westerns with a rifle or shotgun. Wouldn't you first load the gun, then lock the barrel in place, then fire? So shouldn't it be load and lock? Just curious Steve Heya Steve!!! Here's a wikipedia article that answers your question. In my usage, though, in the US southwest at least, it really means "Get ready to fight" Or "Ready for action" and saying it would be the equivalent of "Let's blow those $#%%%% to hell". I may or may not mean that in the title. My titles are always related to the chapter, but in sometimes odd ways.
Site Administrator wildone Posted August 4, 2007 Site Administrator Posted August 4, 2007 Heya Steve!!! Here's a wikipedia article that answers your question. In my usage, though, in the US southwest at least, it really means "Get ready to fight" Or "Ready for action" and saying it would be the equivalent of "Let's blow those $#%%%% to hell". I may or may not mean that in the title. My titles are always related to the chapter, but in sometimes odd ways. Thanks Guess this means that there is not much of a chance of both sides just apologizing and tipping back a few as they all celebrate Steve and Chris's birthdays, eh?
C James Posted August 4, 2007 Author Posted August 4, 2007 Thanks Guess this means that there is not much of a chance of both sides just apologizing and tipping back a few as they all celebrate Steve and Chris's birthdays, eh? Well, I, umm, I can't rule it out, or the Echidna will get me for giving spoilers... Maybe the Piedmont Sheriff is just setting them up for a surprise b-day party, as a friendly peace offering?
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