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    Mark Arbour
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

9.11 - 73. Chapter 73

As I mentioned in the forum, I put the story on hold to consider some comments from reviewers.  The irony is that I've done that, and I'm posting this chapter way earlier than normal.  So "In Hold" translated to "Accelerated".  Go figure.  :wizard:

November 9, 2001

Escorial

 

I’d gotten up early with a specific task in mind, but even as I stood in front of the door and knocked, I felt nervous about disturbing people so early in the morning. I was a bit relieved when Frank opened the door to their bedroom and was obviously awake and fully dressed. He was normally an early riser, but you never knew. He was pretty surprised to see me there. “You wanted something?” he asked gruffly.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Fine,” he said, and opened the door to let me in.

Grandmaman was at her writing at her desk, probably planning her day. “Good morning, Will,” she said pleasantly.

“Good morning,” I said, and then focused on Frank. “I wanted to apologize to you for how I treated you at dinner. You’re not responsible for what Wally and Clara do, and you’re not responsible for what Matt does. It was wrong of me to treat you like you were.”

That really shocked him. I watched him think about that for a few seconds. “This is hard on all of us,” he said gruffly, his way of forgiving me.

“Yes it is,” I agreed, then tilted my head to look cute. “So you forgive me?”

He scowled at me, a fake scowl, while I could see Grandmaman hiding her grin as she pretended to ignore us. “Yes,” he said simply.

“I want you to prove it.”

“You ask me to forgive you, I tell you that I do, and then you want me to prove it?” he asked, getting pretty annoyed.

“It sounded reasonable to me,” I said in a chipper tone, to tell him I was kind of messing with him.

“What do I have to do to prove it?”

“Come with us this weekend,” I said.

“I thought you didn’t want me to come along and ruin your relationship with Zach,” he said, being nasty. I could sense Grandmaman getting ready to jump on him, so I responded quickly.

“I changed my mind,” I said. “He’s really an amazing running back. I mean, I know you don’t know much about football, but I thought even you might be able appreciate his talent.” Frank was totally into football, and was an armchair coach on the weekends during football season.

“Right,” he said. “When do we leave?”

“You leave here at 2:30, and I’ll leave from school at 3:00 to meet you all at the airport,” I said.

“Can I bring a date?” he asked.

“Is she hot?”

“Very hot,” he said, glancing over at Grandmaman.

“Then you can bring her.”

“What are we doing besides going to the game?” he asked.

“Stef and JJ are going too, and we’re going shopping on Saturday,” I said. “Maybe you can come along.”

Grandmaman giggled. “I’m not seeing that,” Frank said.

“I’ll see you at the airport,” I said. I made to leave but he stopped me.

“Will.”

“Yeah?” Then he did something he didn’t do all that often. He pulled me in and gave me a big hug. I felt tears flowing because I was a fucking emotional basket case, because the hug was meaningful, and because when he hugged me, he reminded me of Robbie. We didn’t say anything, we just hugged for awhile, broke apart and smiled at each other, and then I left and went to eat breakfast.

“Good morning,” Stef said, and looked at me with his worried expression.

“Good morning,” I said cheerfully, even though my eyes were red.

“We are meeting you at the airport,” he said, telling me something I already knew.

“Frank and Grandmaman are coming along too,” I said.

“I thought they were not joining us?”

“I talked to Frank, and convinced him to come along.”

He eyed me carefully. “You did not want him along, and now you do?”

“I’m a freakazoid. That’s how I roll,” I said. He rolled his eyes at me. “Your job is to make sure JJ is ready on time.”

“You save the biggest challenges for me,” he said. I chuckled. JJ was not the easiest person to motivate unless he wanted to go somewhere.

“Is Grand coming along?”

“He is not. He has opted to stay here and enjoy the peace and quiet provided by an empty house.”

“This house is never empty,” I said, and that was true, since at least some of the staff members were always here.

“I know that, but he likes to imagine that it is,” Stef said, cracking me up. “We will meet you at the airport.”

School seemed to drag on. Austin gave me shit at lunch for being gone and missing some party this weekend, but I didn’t really care about that. My heart was in New Jersey. I had all of my books and homework for the weekend packed up in my backpack, so as soon as school was over, I all but bolted out of my last class. Pedro was driving me, and opted to pick me up in the Ferrari.

“Good choice,” I told him, referring to the car.

“I know you are anxious to get to the airport quickly, especially since the others left early,” he said.

“They left early? Even with JJ?”

“They say the wonders never cease,” he said, cracking me up. We got to the plane and everyone else was loaded up already. I handed my backpack to the co-pilot and hurried up the steps.

“Thanks for being early,” I said to everyone.

“We did not want to risk your wrath,” Stef said. He was being pleasant, but he was upset. Our eyes met, and I could tell that whatever was bugging him, he didn’t want to talk about it, so I left him alone. Since he, Frank, and Grandmaman were up in the front, I went in back to hang out with JJ and keep him company.

“Sup?” I asked.

“I’m here,” he said, being bitchy.

“I thought you wanted to come?”

“Whatever,” he grumbled. We didn’t say anything for a bit, we just kicked back until the plane was airborne. “How was it?”

“How was what?” I asked, since that question came out of the blue.

“How was being in New York?”

Then I got where he was coming from. “It was hard at first, but it was good for me. It’s a great city, and it’s nice that it reminds me of Robbie, Mom, and Hank.”

“I don’t want to be reminded of them,” he said. “I want to just forget the whole fucking thing.” And then I got where JJ was. He had totally immersed himself in skating, and zoned all the other shit out. He hadn’t made the journey that I’d made, that Dad had made, or that Darius had made. I felt bad for him, because it’s like a race, where we’d already done a few laps, and he was still at the starting point.

“You can hang with me this weekend,” I offered.

“You’ll be busy with your boyfriend,” he said rudely.

“JJ,” I said, and waited until he looked at me. “I’ll always be there for you if you need me.”

He bit his lower lip. “Thanks.” He sat there, wanting to say something, but he didn’t, so I looked at him until he did. That strategy usually worked with JJ. “I’m really bummed about Matt.”

I so did not want to talk about him, or think about him. “You should talk to Frank about him,” I suggested.

“I want to be pissed off at you, but it isn’t your fault,” he said, in his bitchiest tone. That actually made me laugh.

“You’re mad at me because you don’t have any reason to be mad at me?”

He gave me a nasty look, but it was hiding a grin, as he realized how ridiculous he was being. “Fuck you.”

“Can’t,” I said, winking at him. “I’m taken.”

“You mean you’re only with Zach?”

“We don’t have any commitment, or anything,” I said. “But that’s how I feel. He’s really the only person I want to be with.”

He looked at me intently, like I’d stared at him before, only I didn’t have any major issue burning inside me that I was reluctant to let out. “I don’t think I’ve seen you as into someone as you are with him.”

I nodded. “Kinda scary.”

“Dude, be careful,” he warned. He saw my brows narrow. “I’m not talking about all that shit Gathan says about him, about how he’s the fucking devil. I’m just talking about getting too involved and getting hurt.”

“I was already hurt,” I told him. “He can’t hurt me worse than that.”

“I guess not,” he agreed. “So we’re staying at the condo.”

“Are you alright with that?”

He shrugged. “If not, I can always go to a hotel. I’m going to crash.” He got up and went into the bedroom, so I went up and hung out with the others.

“JJ decided to take a nap,” I said, then looked at Grandmaman. “If you want to rest, I can kick him out of the bedroom for you.”

“I think that instead, I will just enjoy the charming company,” she said with a smile.

“A wise choice,” Stef observed, making us laugh.

“Zach asked Dad about Aaron,” I said to Stef. “Dad told Zach to talk to me about him. I brought a copy of the diary with me, but I wanted to know how much of it I could show him.”

Grandmaman didn’t really care that much about it, but Frank and Stef did. Their reactions were interesting. Frank got really angry, but said nothing, while Stef started crying. He wasn’t sobbing, but there was a stream of tears pouring down his face. I looked at Grandmaman with a confused expression, and she gave me a slight shrug to show me she was as clueless as I was. “I am sorry,” Stef said, and grabbed a tissue to wipe his eyes.

“Dude, I do that all the time,” I said, with a combination of a smile and a grimace.

“I would like to think about that for a bit, if you do not mind,” he said.

“That’s fine,” I agreed, totally unwilling to argue with him.

He sighed, then seemed to have an epiphany and decided to vent to us. “Your question caught me off guard. It is an ironic coincidence.”

“Why?” I asked.

“I received word just a few hours ago that Aaron is dead,” Stef said.

“Good riddance,” Frank growled, and seemed happy with the news. “Piece of shit.”

“We are all flawed beings, and we all make mistakes,” Stef said evenly. “It is my experience that carrying a grudge does much more damage to the person who is angry, than to the person to whom it is directed.” He gave me a look, which pissed me off, since he was trying to tell me he was referring to Matt too.

“And sometimes people are just assholes, and you should write them off,” I said firmly.

Frank looked at Stef. “See, I told you he’s smarter than you.”

“Do not get cocky because you are right once every twenty years,” Stef said acidly, cracking us up.

I leaned forward and took Stef’s hands in mine. “I’m sorry. I can wait to talk to Zach about this if you want me to.”

“I will let you know,” he said, then sighed again. “I like to trust my own instincts in these situations. It is not that I do not trust yours, but this is very personal to me.”

“That’s fine,” I said, to tell him it wasn’t a big deal.

“I am conflicted about Zach,” Stef continued. “From you, I hear what a wondrous young man he is. And as I tend to be partial to young men who are handsome, that also biases me in his favor.” Frank rolled his eyes at that. “On the other hand, I have other people railing at me about his flaws, and advocating he is a dangerous person. I would like to draw my own conclusions before I give him access to something so personal.”

He was nervous, worried this would upset me, so I smiled. “He’s definitely hot, and it’s possible that he’s wondrous, but since when do you discard men who are flawed and dangerous? Aren’t we all?”

“So you are suggesting that it is important to give handsome and flawed men a chance?” he asked, another oblique reference to Matt.

“Some of them,” I said coldly, to let him know he was pushing my buttons. “What did Aaron die of?”

“Skin cancer,” Stef said. Frank chuckled and shook his head, seemingly amused that a pale skinned guy would meet his end by getting skin cancer after fleeing to a tropical island. Stef ignored him. “He is being buried on Los Negros.”

“Are you going to the funeral?”

“I did not plan to,” Stef said. “How is your father? I have not talked to him for a few days.”

“He works, and he sleeps, and probably masturbates,” I said, then remembered Grandmaman was there, and blushed three shades of red. “I’m sorry,” I said to her. She giggled.

“A bit crass, but it is probably accurate,” Stef said, like he was always the model of decency.

“I’m going to go knock out my homework, so I don’t have to worry about it this weekend,” I said, and went back and did just that. I had just finished up when the pilots let us know we were landing. I went and woke JJ up, then spiffed my appearance up in the bathroom. The plane landed, and I was completely on edge, so anxious to see Zach. We taxied up to the FBO, and as soon as the plane stopped, I saw Zach’s Durango drive out onto the ramp, along with a limo.

“Perhaps you should get out first,” Stef suggested with a smile.

“That way you won’t knock the rest of us down,” JJ said.

“Thanks,” I said. As soon as the door was open and the stairs were down, I charged down the ramp, and there was Zach at the bottom, smiling at me. He threw caution to the wind and just enveloped me in a major hug, and just being in his arms made me feel so safe and so loved. “I missed you,” I said.

“I missed you too,” he said, and winked at me. I moved aside so he could greet the others. “Welcome to New Jersey!”

“Why thank you,” Grandmaman, said, and kissed him on the cheeks in the French fashion. “How nice of you to come meet us.”

“I’m looking forward to your game,” Frank said. It was only at that moment that I realized how much like Wally he sounded.

“I hear you like football,” Zach said, pouring on the charm.

“I watch a game here and there,” Frank said, which made Grandmaman and I chuckle.

“You are looking as handsome as ever,” Stef said to Zach.

“I was going to say the same thing to you,” Zach said, being the flirtatious beast that he could be. “I’m wondering if you’d be willing to stop by the locker room tomorrow and meet the team.”

“You’re letting him loose in the locker room?” I asked.

“Most of those guys are underage,” Frank said. “Better call the lawyers.” We all laughed at that.

“I am not going to chase them around the locker room,” Stef said. “Besides, they are faster than me.”

“I’ll bet some of us are pretty slow,” Zach said with a leer.

“I will be happy to meet your team,” Stef promised.

“Hey JJ,” Zach said, and raised his eyebrows to flirt with him.

“Zach,” JJ said coldly.

“You’re not happy to see me?” Zach asked, being a total wolf.

“Not really,” he said, and then turned to Stef. “You ready to go?”

“The limo will take you all to the condo,” I told them. “You can come with us,” I told JJ.

“I’ll just go in the limo,” JJ said. “I’ll meet you there.” I got them situated, then hopped into the Durango with Zach.

He pulled off the ramp and found a secluded spot to pull over. “Alone at last,” he said, then gave me a major kiss. I’m not sure how I managed to do it, but I pushed him away.

“We need to beat the limo to Tribeca so I can make sure everything’s ready for them. Think you can do that?”

“No problem,” he said, and tore out of the airport.

“Then we’ll spend some time alone,” I said, winking at him.

“Awesome,” he said. “Your brother hates me.”

“That’s because he thinks you’re hitting on him,” I said. “Don’t do that.”

“I’m not hitting on him,” he said, getting all defensive. “Dude, I would never do that to you.” And once again, he’d read me perfectly, getting that the last thing I needed in my life was another guy who wanted to sleep with my brother.

“I know. I said he thinks you’re hitting on him, not that you are.”

“I don’t get it. He’s really cute and he’s super-talented. I figured he’d be used to people flirting with him. I thought he’d appreciate the attention.” Zach knew he was hot, so he assumed that by flirting with JJ, JJ would take it as a compliment. His arrogance was endearing.

I laughed. “You know, as good as you are at reading me, you’re bad at reading him.” He gave me a dirty look. “That means you’re really bad at reading him.”

That got me a smile. “Alright, what’s his deal?”

“He’s totally focused on skating. He was a pretty late bloomer, so he’s kind of freaked out about sex, and his body.”

“You’re telling me he’s a virgin?” Zach asked, stunned.

“More or less,” I said. “So quit trying to show him your dragon.”

“He liked my dragon,” Zach said, cracking me up, and then got serious. “Dude, I must have totally pissed him off.”

“He’s usually pissed off anyway,” I said, which wasn’t true, but he usually was bitchy. “And there’s more bad news.”

“What?”

“We need to hang out with him a lot this weekend.”

“Why?”

I sighed. “He’s dealt with 9-11 by burying his head in the ice, and focusing on skating. That’s how he’s handling it. Only he’s not. He’s not really dealing with it at all, he’s just avoiding it.”

“So what’s that mean?”

“I’ve been in agony, fighting with the demons since those fucking attacks, and it wasn’t until I came over here last weekend that I started to really cope with the fact that they were all gone. Kind of like my dad did. JJ’s not there yet. He’s not even close to that point.”

“Holy shit! This could really fuck him up.”

I nodded. “It could. I think he knows that, and I think he knows he has to deal with it. That’s why he came. That, and to laugh at you when we’re shopping.”

“Ha ha ha,” he said with faux grumpiness. “I’m not allowed to help him out like I helped you?”

“No, you’re not,” I said, with a pretty pronounced frown, even though he was just teasing me.

He reached over and held my hand. “You doing OK with that?” He was asking me about the deal with Matt and Tony.

“Matt and Wade broke up,” I said, even though it was more like a divorce. “Matt moved in with Tony.”

“The dude he fucked you over with?!” he asked, really pissed off.

“That’s the one,” I said.

“You’ll be good,” he said, referring to me getting beyond this deal with Matt. “You’ll be even better, actually, with those two douches out of your life.”

“I’m good now,” I said, gripping his hand back even more firmly. I figured I’d get all the unpleasant crap out of the way upfront, so I broached another issue. “I went to dinner with Stef and told him about us.”

“Dude, how many people know we fuck?” he asked, freaking out.

“My family,” I said. “They won’t out you, or say shit.” I knew they wouldn’t, although I wondered about Matt. I didn’t think he’d out a guy like Zach, but then again, I never thought he’d let Tony fuck him either.

“This is a big fucking deal for me,” he said.

“I know that, but no matter what happens, they won’t out you.” He nodded, trusting me since he had no choice.

“So did Stef give you pointers?” he asked, turning into a wolf again.

“Why? What we do isn’t enough fun?” I was suddenly worried that I was sexually boring.

“Yeah, but maybe there’s other fun stuff we’re missing out on.” I grinned, then smiled at that, so excited that he was willing to be sexually adventurous.

“I’ll do some research.”

“You do that,” he said. “So what did he say?”

“He was freaking out because we’re barebacking, and he made me promise him that we’d do something.”

“So now we have to wear condoms?” he asked, and that really bugged him. I understood why he felt that way without him saying anything. It was an issue of trust, and he was insecure about that, because he’d been fighting to try and be trustworthy despite Gathan and Wally’s attempts to blackball him.

“No. He made me promise that we’d pledge to each other that if we had unprotected sex with someone else, we’d admit it and wear condoms until we’re tested again,” I said.

“I can do that,” he said.

“See, it sounded easy to me too, but then he said we have to promise each other that we won’t get pissed off if that happens, if we have unprotected sex with someone else.” I swallowed hard. “That might piss me off.”

He smiled at that, since he could visualize how pissed I could be, and then he thought about my issue, even as he drove into the tunnel to Manhattan. “I see what you mean.” He drove on in silence for a little bit. “Will, I really don’t want to be with anyone but you, but it could happen. I’m getting a bunch of shit from my parents, and from the Piehls, because I’m not dating anyone.”

They were pushing him to date girls, and that meant he’d end up with a beard. That’s what he was telling me. I wanted to freak out on him, but that wasn’t fair. I knew what I was getting into with him. “And it’s possible that I could end up going out with another guy from time to time,” I said, just to keep things fair.

“I don’t want to know about that,” he snapped. We drove out of the tunnel and into Manhattan, and that seemed to spark an idea. “How about if it happens you tell me, or I’ll tell you, but no details are required?”

“So you just say, ‘Hey, we need to wear condoms’?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “I don’t want to know more than that.”

“What if I do?” I was more inquisitive than that.

“Then you can’t get pissed off at the answer you get,” he said. And then I could see the beauty of what he was proposing, and I could also see the danger. It set up our relationship to be completely isolated from our regular lives. “That work for you?”

“It works for me,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure that it did. We pulled into the garage and parked the Durango, then hauled our bags up to the condo. We walked into the main room and found my father sitting there reading, waiting for us.

“Hello!” he said, and jumped up to give me a big hug, and Zach a demi-hug, in the way his grandfather had taught him, and he’d taught us.

“Everyone else should be right behind us,” I told him. “I need to talk to you about JJ.”

“I heard what happened to you this week,” he growled, referring to the issues with Matt and Frank.

“I need to talk to you about JJ,” I reiterated, and that got him on topic. “He’s going to lose it this weekend.”

“What makes you say that?” he asked. I told him about my conversation with JJ, and my guess that he was just avoiding the whole thing. “I’ll help him out.”

“He can hang out with us too,” Zach offered.

“He’ll need all of us,” Dad said diplomatically. “I put you in the second guestroom, so Frank and Mother can have the master.”

“Then I think we’ll go check it out,” I said. I ignored my father’s look and went into our bedroom. I kissed Zach passionately, a passion he fully returned. “I need to get everyone situated, but then I’m free.”

He reached out and grabbed my dick through my pants in a playful way, making me laugh, and then we adjusted ourselves so we weren’t showing and went out to greet everyone. “I put you and Frank in the main bedroom,” Dad was saying to Grandmaman and Frank. “You have the other guest bedroom,” he said to Stef. “I was hoping you wouldn’t mind sharing with me,” he said to JJ.

“I can get a hotel room,” JJ said nervously, even as he looked around at these walls that held such horrible memories.

“It’s too late for that,” I said.

Dad looked at his watch meaningfully. “It’s almost midnight.”

If he snores and keeps you awake, we’ll find something tomorrow,” I added.

“Fine,” JJ agreed grudgingly.

“The game tomorrow is at noon,” Zach said. “It’s early this week.”

“Then we will do our shopping after the game or on Sunday,” Stef decreed.

“There’s a car to take you to the school,” I said. “I’ll go over with Zach.”

“Sounds good,” Frank said. “I’m going to bed.” Grandmaman went with him. The rest of us went into the kitchen and grabbed some snacks.

“I see you did some shopping,” I said to Dad. “Thanks.”

“I had the pantry stocked,” he said, so Zach didn’t think he actually went to a grocery store and lugged all the stuff back himself. “I’m sorry I wasn’t around this week.”

“It was interesting, but I’m fine,” I told him.

“I can’t believe that Matt moved in with Tony,” he said, venting his annoyance. But I didn’t want to think about Matt, or talk about Matt, and I really hadn’t thought about Tony, so I used that as an excuse to bail on them.

“Believe it,” I said abruptly. “I’m going to bed. We’ll see you at the game.” He looked at me nervously, as if worried he’d upset me, but then seemed to figure out that I was OK. I led Zach back to the bedroom, locked the door, and then reunited with him physically. Several times.

 

November 10, 2001

Tribeca, NYC

 

I poured two glasses of cognac and took them into the main room, where Stef sat gazing out the windows at Manhattan’s blinking lights. “Here,” I said, pulling him out of his introspection.

“Thank you,” he said, forcing himself to mentally rejoin me. “This city is so alive.”

“Yes it is,” I agreed. “I stayed here this week and really enjoyed myself. The only thing that sucks is the traffic.”

“That is saying something coming from someone raised in the Bay Area,” he joked, making me chuckle. “Is JJ in bed?”

“He is,” I said. “I don’t know if he’s sleeping, but I figured I’d give him some time to himself.” He had pretended to be dozing, and that was a pretty clear sign that he didn’t want to be bothered.

“Will is very worried about him,” Stef said.

“He is,” I agreed. “I’m worried about both of them.”

“I think that Will is doing fine,” Stef said. “He is angry at Matt, but he has chosen to work through that by avoiding him.”

“So he’s just going to ignore the problem?” I asked. That was pretty foreign to me, and to Will. Stef laughed, which kind of pissed me off.

“JP explained it to us at dinner, and he likened Will’s attitude now to the attitude you had with Robbie back in high school.” I was trying to figure out which attitude he was talking about, but fortunately he enlightened me. “I am thinking of that time when you pledged not to let anyone else fuck you, but Robbie broke that pledge by sleeping with that large, handsome football player.”

It said something about my feelings for Robbie that I felt myself get pissed off about that all over again. “I was pretty angry.”

Stef laughed again, only this time I joined him. “JP explained that just as you had to cool down before Robbie could approach you, so Will has to work this through in his own mind before he’ll be willing to listen to Matt.”

I smiled and nodded. “That makes sense. I get it now. That’s why he doesn’t want to talk about it, or think about it.” He had pretty abruptly shut down the topic when I’d raised it.

“And how has your week been? Did you have any more dates with Chris Mendoza?”

I frowned, which just made him smile. “So Will told you all about that.”

“But of course,” he said dismissively. “It was within the realm of allowable gossip. It is not as if he interrupted you having sex with him.”

“Right,” I said dubiously.

“Did you have sex with him?”

I shook my head in frustration at how irrepressible Stef was. “No, I did not. Last Saturday, after we went out, he kissed me goodnight.”

“You have lost your touch,” Stef said, as if I wanted to sleep with Chris but couldn’t.

“I’m not ready to go there yet,” I said. My tone was serious, so his attitude adapted to match it. “I don’t want another relationship. I have enough people to be responsible for, and to worry about.”

“I wonder if that is what is driving Matt’s actions,” Stef said.

“I think with him, he’s just trying to avoid intimacy with anyone,” I said. I’d talked to my shrink about it, and that was his read, so I was just parroting that back to Stef. “He’s probably mad at everyone, at the world.”

“That is very self-destructive,” Stef noted sadly. I nodded my agreement. “While we are on unpleasant topics, I have some bad news to share with you.”

“Go on,” I said nervously, wondering what else he could possibly toss in my lap to make my life any worse.

“Aaron Hayes died. I got word today from Los Negros. He died of skin cancer.” I digested that, and while it was sad, it didn’t really bother me all that much. It was very hard to feel sorry for Aaron, after the way he bailed on his family. Stef and JP seemed much more able to forgive him for that than everyone else.

“I’m sorry,” I said, and managed to sound sincere. “How did Frank handle it?”

“For him, it was good news,” Stef grumbled. It made sense that Frank would be bitter. He’d grown up in an abusive household, and seen his family torn apart, because of Aaron’s selfish decision to fake his own death.

“Did you let Nathan know?” I asked, referring to Aaron’s brother, who lived in Detroit.

“I did,” Stef said.

“Did he have a family or anyone there with him?”

“There was a man living with him. I saw him briefly when I was there. Aaron left his house and possessions to him,” I said. “I sent him a check to help him out during this time.”

“That was nice of you,” I said. I finished my cognac. “I think I’ll go to bed.”

“Good night,” Stef said. I went to the bedroom and got ready, then climbed into bed. This room had two queen-sized beds, so I didn’t have to worry about jostling JJ awake. I looked over and his back was to me. He was breathing softly, like he was sleeping, so I left him alone.

Copyright © 2014 Mark Arbour; All Rights Reserved.
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Yay a new chapter! I was not quite expecting it after the hell that broke lose after the last one. But let's leave all that behind...

I really liked this chapter and have nothing to bitch about. ;) I particularly like the relationship between Will and JJ. It's very rare that they even talk, but the way they do... I don't know, it seems so real to me. Despite all their differences and all, they are brothers. That counts even more now, after 9/11.

I hope that there will be more about the two of them, now and in the next book. It will never be a major topic, but those small things along the lines are really nice to read. If JJ loses it this weekend I hope that Will will be there for him and that we will get to read about it.

Sammy

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On 02/10/2014 08:28 AM, Sammy Blue said:
Yay a new chapter! I was not quite expecting it after the hell that broke lose after the last one. But let's leave all that behind...

I really liked this chapter and have nothing to bitch about. ;) I particularly like the relationship between Will and JJ. It's very rare that they even talk, but the way they do... I don't know, it seems so real to me. Despite all their differences and all, they are brothers. That counts even more now, after 9/11.

I hope that there will be more about the two of them, now and in the next book. It will never be a major topic, but those small things along the lines are really nice to read. If JJ loses it this weekend I hope that Will will be there for him and that we will get to read about it.

Sammy

Thanks Sammy.

 

We'll actually have a guest narrator appearance by JJ coming up, so that may be fun. I think that he and Will (and Darius) have a very tight bond, but one that doesn't require that they constantly feed it by being around each other. I think that 9-11, even as it seems to have torn Matt and Wade apart, has brought those three brothers closer.

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Will apologizing to Frank and inviting him and Grandmamam was so Will. He has his outburst and then thinks about the people he loves and has to immediately make it right. Just like he has apologized in the past to JP and Steff.

JJ is a worry and it could be a tough trip for him. At least he has lots of family around.

:2thumbs: As usual!

Thanks for the surprise post. Your legion of fans appreciate everything you do!

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Hi Mark,

another chapter devoured. Thank you!

Now I am curious how Will's and Zach's agreement concerning barebacking will influence their relationship. But I am stopping right there and won't start fretting. Instead, I will be pleasantly surprised with whatever you will come up (at least that's what I ordered myself to do).

JJ's and Will's relationship reminds me a lot of my little sister and me when we were teenagers. She was also an athlete and most of the time very bitchy! :-) However, we had our good moments and like JJ, she knew that I would always be there, if she needed me. However,we never had those kind of troubles Will and JJ had to deal with. I'm really wondering about JJ. He's a bit of an enigma for me (much like my little sister still is). I look forward to how he will deal with NY. So many possibilities... oh, and the drama that could happen! ;-)

I start to think that I'll have to reread all the books and maybe make a family tree including partners and a timeline so I'll be able to remember the age of all the characters too. Because while some things like JPs parentage and how he was related to Brian seem to have stuck with me effortlessly, others have not. One thing I will have to refresh very soon I think is how all the Hayes are related to onanother. It has all become so intricate. But that is absolutely a good thing!

Looking forward for more of your excellent writting!

Tanya

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On 02/10/2014 09:06 AM, Daddydavek said:
Will apologizing to Frank and inviting him and Grandmamam was so Will. He has his outburst and then thinks about the people he loves and has to immediately make it right. Just like he has apologized in the past to JP and Steff.

JJ is a worry and it could be a tough trip for him. At least he has lots of family around.

:2thumbs: As usual!

Thanks for the surprise post. Your legion of fans appreciate everything you do!

Thanks! Snowflakes landing on the ground, and figure skating on television (Olympics), makes me think of JJ and smile. Especially when I think of all the evil things I can do to him. (LOL).
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A nice calm uneventful chapter. Why does that make me just a tad nervous?

 

Welcome back. It was a nice surprise to get home from work this afternoon and find your sabbatical was a short one!

 

For what it is worth? While I do think some of the cast are acting a bit out of character, it isn't something that would be unexpected considering the stresses they have all been under. In fact, if they had gone about their lives business as usual it would have worried me. As it is I keep waiting for both JJ and Matt to have a huge melt down. Thinking about the way JJ reacted to his coaches death last Christmas, I keep finding myself wanting to check that there is a fully stocked first aid kit handy.

 

Great as usual Mark. Thank you.

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On 02/10/2014 09:10 AM, tannne said:
Hi Mark,

another chapter devoured. Thank you!

Now I am curious how Will's and Zach's agreement concerning barebacking will influence their relationship. But I am stopping right there and won't start fretting. Instead, I will be pleasantly surprised with whatever you will come up (at least that's what I ordered myself to do).

JJ's and Will's relationship reminds me a lot of my little sister and me when we were teenagers. She was also an athlete and most of the time very bitchy! :-) However, we had our good moments and like JJ, she knew that I would always be there, if she needed me. However,we never had those kind of troubles Will and JJ had to deal with. I'm really wondering about JJ. He's a bit of an enigma for me (much like my little sister still is). I look forward to how he will deal with NY. So many possibilities... oh, and the drama that could happen! ;-)

I start to think that I'll have to reread all the books and maybe make a family tree including partners and a timeline so I'll be able to remember the age of all the characters too. Because while some things like JPs parentage and how he was related to Brian seem to have stuck with me effortlessly, others have not. One thing I will have to refresh very soon I think is how all the Hayes are related to onanother. It has all become so intricate. But that is absolutely a good thing!

Looking forward for more of your excellent writting!

Tanya

Sorry about the complicated family tree. Others have tried to craft things, and there are a few reference threads in the forum.

 

I think JJ fits that kind of descriptor: a driven person, who sacrifices diplomacy at times. But there is a bond between him and Will that I think is actually quite touching.

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On 02/10/2014 09:12 AM, Kitt said:
A nice calm uneventful chapter. Why does that make me just a tad nervous?

 

Welcome back. It was a nice surprise to get home from work this afternoon and find your sabbatical was a short one!

 

For what it is worth? While I do think some of the cast are acting a bit out of character, it isn't something that would be unexpected considering the stresses they have all been under. In fact, if they had gone about their lives business as usual it would have worried me. As it is I keep waiting for both JJ and Matt to have a huge melt down. Thinking about the way JJ reacted to his coaches death last Christmas, I keep finding myself wanting to check that there is a fully stocked first aid kit handy.

 

Great as usual Mark. Thank you.

Well, if we had non-stop action, we'd all be freaked out. There has to be a lull. It's a natural, biorhythm kind of thing.

 

To speak to the "out of character" concept, I think that a characters natural personality would have to be projected out, based on events, into a completely impossible direction. That's what I had to review.

 

Looking at grief, people have many different responses. I think that Wade's initial response was the healthiest, to seek support from his partner. Matt's is probably the most common: withdrawal. JJ is a classic denier. I think Will, Brad, and Darius get kudos for doing the best job so far.

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Yippee a new chapter and time to read and post a timely review.

Heart breaking news about Aaron (I am a big The Box fan), but I appreciate his story line being tied off. I think blaming Aaron for his father's destructive and abusive behavior is a load of crap. I think the elder Hayes owns his sins; furthermore I question his stability to plummet so far from grace over Aaron's demise. Not unlike Matt, I think spiraling out of control is how he chose to deal with his loss and that's not Aaron's fault and frankly I venture to suggest the Elder Hayes would have probably ended up the same if Aaron didn't fake his death and announced to the family he was gay. I don't mean to sound so black and white because I know the world is actually a million variances of grey, but I find it hypocritical of Frank to expect Will and Wade to forgive Matt, when he is so unwilling to consider forgiving his own brother.

That aside, thank you for another compelling chapter.

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I kind of have been reviewing your stories on and off depending on how I feel. Overall Mark you are a great writer and this story is yours to deal with in your own way. So what if people don't like the direction your story goes. It happens. 9/11 changed people and this story has reflected only some of the things people went through. While I don't directly know anyone who was in the tower's I know people who did. To try and sugar coat anything surrounding the tragedy would be a tragedy in it self.

 

This chapter was interesting. Will in typical Will fashion apologized for his outburst. He made mended the fence with Frank and now we will see how Frank behaves.

This chapter set the stage for JJ. Every character in CAP has been dealing with 9/11 and JJ is the only one who hasn't really come to grips with the whole situation. He was very close to Jeanine and Robbie and that is going to make things 110% worse for him. I am glad to see Will recognizes this and is putting forth the effort to make sure his brother is ok. The only one who will deal with the whole situation later in life is Maddy. She will have a tough road when she become older. Right now she is too young.

 

Keep up the great writing Mark! Who cares where the story goes as long as it keeps going.

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On 02/10/2014 09:45 AM, Miles Long said:
Yippee a new chapter and time to read and post a timely review.

Heart breaking news about Aaron (I am a big The Box fan), but I appreciate his story line being tied off. I think blaming Aaron for his father's destructive and abusive behavior is a load of crap. I think the elder Hayes owns his sins; furthermore I question his stability to plummet so far from grace over Aaron's demise. Not unlike Matt, I think spiraling out of control is how he chose to deal with his loss and that's not Aaron's fault and frankly I venture to suggest the Elder Hayes would have probably ended up the same if Aaron didn't fake his death and announced to the family he was gay. I don't mean to sound so black and white because I know the world is actually a million variances of grey, but I find it hypocritical of Frank to expect Will and Wade to forgive Matt, when he is so unwilling to consider forgiving his own brother.

That aside, thank you for another compelling chapter.

That's a really intriguing theory: if Aaron had returned to the US and come out, it would have impacted Fred Hayes as badly as his death. I wonder...
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On 02/10/2014 09:47 AM, Edward said:
I kind of have been reviewing your stories on and off depending on how I feel. Overall Mark you are a great writer and this story is yours to deal with in your own way. So what if people don't like the direction your story goes. It happens. 9/11 changed people and this story has reflected only some of the things people went through. While I don't directly know anyone who was in the tower's I know people who did. To try and sugar coat anything surrounding the tragedy would be a tragedy in it self.

 

This chapter was interesting. Will in typical Will fashion apologized for his outburst. He made mended the fence with Frank and now we will see how Frank behaves.

This chapter set the stage for JJ. Every character in CAP has been dealing with 9/11 and JJ is the only one who hasn't really come to grips with the whole situation. He was very close to Jeanine and Robbie and that is going to make things 110% worse for him. I am glad to see Will recognizes this and is putting forth the effort to make sure his brother is ok. The only one who will deal with the whole situation later in life is Maddy. She will have a tough road when she become older. Right now she is too young.

 

Keep up the great writing Mark! Who cares where the story goes as long as it keeps going.

Thanks for the review, Edward! I appreciate them. I don't really let people's opinion change the course of the story, but I do take the possibility that characters are acting out of character seriously.

 

I think that JJ is in for a tough go, as you say, but I think that before he grapples with things, he has to move beyond denial. I agree with you that the person who will really have a tough time with this is Maddy. That's an awful thing to deal with, to be able to barely remember your mother who was killed in such a tragic attack.

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My brother died at age sixteen when I was thirteen. We were fairly close but he was always ahead of me. Stories about brothers are very meaningful to me. I often think about what might have been.

 

Will truly loves JJ and is rightfully concerned about JJ's healing process. JJ's coming breakdown and Will's response will set the tone of the next book. Be gentle with us Mark.

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Very happy to read this installment…

 

An interesting chapter all around and one that lets us catch our collective breaths, as appropriate and necessary apologies take place between Will & Frank. We shall see how JJ fairs and how his family will help him begin to finally deal with the events of 9/11. It was an interesting exchange between Will and Zach as they discussed their relationship and where it is being pushed, and of course the concept of needing to be safe because of what will inevitably happen while they are apart.

 

I expect that somewhere over the next few chapters that Brad will have a meaningful interaction with Matt. The question is how will that go and that begs the question of, what about Tony? There is so much for them to work through, first somehow trying to break through to Matt and pull him out of the spiral that he is in; and second, will the sexual tension that had been between Matt & Brad reignite? As part of the Millennium storyline they both had stepped back from the dangerous abyss of giving into their lust for each other. With Robbie now gone, will those prior desires reassertion themselves and can that be part of a healing process for them - though more so for Matt? Since Brad and Wade have been together I don't see that as being necessarily a dangerous thing to happen. Maybe that is what Matt needs – a good head clearing fuck from Brad, followed by a meaningful conversation to help Matt begin to heal and also see what Wade needs. But will this get Matt on the correct path to work his way back to Wade's side? If Brad is able to help Matt, is there a role for JP in helping Wade see that perhaps he wrote off Matt too early as part of his own grieving process?

 

There are so many different ways that this story can go and there seems to be way too much to wrap up in the remaining several chapters....

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ok so chapter 73. I never cease to be amazed at your work rate! and it's gotten so I can depends on your posting a new chapter.

the thing is I'm working thru a whole series of issues at the moment so I can kinda relate to the overall feeling of unhappiness and discomfort.

but even apart from that it's getting kinda heavy duty. I get that everyone has to work thru their issues related to 911 but even so could there be some light? please don't take it as a criticism.

I'd suggest the following possibilities:

1. bring Ace and his family back in, maybe a strong female cousin that will can relate to

2. get wally to have a change of heart when he hears about Aaron 's death and make him write a letter to zach apologising for being so hard on him

3. will turning fifteen soon? drivers licence - buys a Ferrari - totals it and ends up in hospital

4. bring back Isidore as a pov and being in a character from her family in France into the mix

5. brad gets kidnapped and returns despairing

6. wade finds a new lawyer and gets serious with sean

7. matt and tony pov as a comical interlude, both just being idiots generally

8. noah gets marie pregnant or john and some random girl

9. jack has a heart attack and dies

anyway plenty of ideas! I think Isidore and frank should move out. I'd also like to see the relationship between will and maddie developing as well as Riley and wade

great work - thanks for continuing entertainment!

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To be back here so soon is a very good thing. Llke Mark I was tired of the arguing. However, things seem to be better now. Like this new chapter a calm place for the moment. Drama is never far from the CAP world. That's why we love it so much. We can see the storm clouds gathering. JJ is back in New York. Was it real? Did we really loose them? Are they really gone? Some people have brought up JJ's coach. This however is different, no longer in the shadows. Will, Brad and Stef are there. We have forgotten one else, Frank, this is the first time he has been to the sight too, since that day. Grief is the terrible thing that can haunt you forever. It has broken many people, some have risen stronger some never recover. As I said before, Mark set upon the task of telling this story. Not just the day of 9 11 but the aftermath of it, in the lives of these characters. It is not a easy process, one that is stopping and starting, steps backward. All that and each person is different. And what is worse it is a process that must be done almost all alone. What will happen? Who will recover and who will not? How will they be changed? All this and more. At this point I wonder if Mark would start this again? To that I say, it needs to be told. And I believe has been told unbelievable well. For that I thank Mark. Not many could have done it, and no one could have done it better. Thanks Mark for coming back to us. I for one am so happy you are back. With only a few chapters left, so much to do. Matt and Wade. Will and Matt. Matt and Tony. Brad and his sons. Frank. A few more twists and turns, Oh Zach and Will. And why did Aaron die now? When I was telling someone about the story, he wonder how Mark could keep all these characters straight. To that I said most of them are gay. Thanks Mark for coming back, even though it was a short time. Thanks for all your work and that of your team. Thanks for the endless joy you have given me and your other readers. And one more thing, know that you are loved and your are not alone here on the net. Thanks again.

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I can't tell you how disappointed I was that you had put 9.11 on hold, and then the relief that I was not going to be denied my "fix" when you posted a new chapter. I have followed CAP right from the beginning, but you won't find any in-depth reviews from me. I simply fall in love with a story, and read it without pause to its conclusion. And I have fallen heavily for this series. I hope you continue to write. I can't wait to see what your next story brings. Thanks.

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Does this mean if you did a 'double hold', we would get another chapter by morning? ; )

I do so love this story, it is entertaining, powerful and challenging. The ever-roiling emotions seem quite realistic considering all they have gone through and I think that having characters act unusually at times is both fun as well as could be expected considering, again, what incredible challenges they have faced and are facing. The occasional odd behaviour is very human.

As I read through the 'sturm und drang' of the reviews, I am amazed at your near 'saint-like' patience and good humor with your unruly devotees!!! I know it is more than I would have so it is just another point of admiration.

Thanks again..

Gene

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On 02/10/2014 11:54 AM, davewri said:
My brother died at age sixteen when I was thirteen. We were fairly close but he was always ahead of me. Stories about brothers are very meaningful to me. I often think about what might have been.

 

Will truly loves JJ and is rightfully concerned about JJ's healing process. JJ's coming breakdown and Will's response will set the tone of the next book. Be gentle with us Mark.

First of all, I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. That must have been tough, not just on you, but on your whole family.

 

JJ and Will are very different, but there is a good bond there, and I think they know that when things get tough, the other brother can be relied on. I think their tight relationship makes Will's outrage at Matt just that much more understandable: Will can't fathom a sibling doing that to him because JJ never would. Well, and Darius wouldn't either, but that's not likely anyway. ;-)

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On 02/10/2014 11:58 AM, KevinD said:
Very happy to read this installment…

 

An interesting chapter all around and one that lets us catch our collective breaths, as appropriate and necessary apologies take place between Will & Frank. We shall see how JJ fairs and how his family will help him begin to finally deal with the events of 9/11. It was an interesting exchange between Will and Zach as they discussed their relationship and where it is being pushed, and of course the concept of needing to be safe because of what will inevitably happen while they are apart.

 

I expect that somewhere over the next few chapters that Brad will have a meaningful interaction with Matt. The question is how will that go and that begs the question of, what about Tony? There is so much for them to work through, first somehow trying to break through to Matt and pull him out of the spiral that he is in; and second, will the sexual tension that had been between Matt & Brad reignite? As part of the Millennium storyline they both had stepped back from the dangerous abyss of giving into their lust for each other. With Robbie now gone, will those prior desires reassertion themselves and can that be part of a healing process for them - though more so for Matt? Since Brad and Wade have been together I don't see that as being necessarily a dangerous thing to happen. Maybe that is what Matt needs – a good head clearing fuck from Brad, followed by a meaningful conversation to help Matt begin to heal and also see what Wade needs. But will this get Matt on the correct path to work his way back to Wade's side? If Brad is able to help Matt, is there a role for JP in helping Wade see that perhaps he wrote off Matt too early as part of his own grieving process?

 

There are so many different ways that this story can go and there seems to be way too much to wrap up in the remaining several chapters....

Sometimes a breather is a good thing. ;-)

 

Brad and Matt were very close, especially when Matt first got to California. You'd think Brad would intervene to help Matt out, but the only real reason for him to do that is to honor Robbie's memory at this point. Why? I think Brad must be really frustrated with Matt, and since Matt has squared off with one of the most important people in Brad's life (Will), and because he's screwed Wade over, as Brad sees it, I'm not sure Brad's in the mood to go out of his way to help Matt. I also think it's important to remember that Brad is fighting his own demons here, so the kind of clear logic that screams "your step son is in trouble" may not really penetrate past his grief and annoyance.

 

Matt is not stupid. He is clearly trying to alienate everyone, and drive them away. He would be very aware of how Brad feels, and I think that at least subconsciously, that was part of his motivation for sleeping with Tony.

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On 02/10/2014 12:16 PM, Joker_Dublin said:
ok so chapter 73. I never cease to be amazed at your work rate! and it's gotten so I can depends on your posting a new chapter.

the thing is I'm working thru a whole series of issues at the moment so I can kinda relate to the overall feeling of unhappiness and discomfort.

but even apart from that it's getting kinda heavy duty. I get that everyone has to work thru their issues related to 911 but even so could there be some light? please don't take it as a criticism.

I'd suggest the following possibilities:

1. bring Ace and his family back in, maybe a strong female cousin that will can relate to

2. get wally to have a change of heart when he hears about Aaron 's death and make him write a letter to zach apologising for being so hard on him

3. will turning fifteen soon? drivers licence - buys a Ferrari - totals it and ends up in hospital

4. bring back Isidore as a pov and being in a character from her family in France into the mix

5. brad gets kidnapped and returns despairing

6. wade finds a new lawyer and gets serious with sean

7. matt and tony pov as a comical interlude, both just being idiots generally

8. noah gets marie pregnant or john and some random girl

9. jack has a heart attack and dies

anyway plenty of ideas! I think Isidore and frank should move out. I'd also like to see the relationship between will and maddie developing as well as Riley and wade

great work - thanks for continuing entertainment!

Thank you! I'm only this productive because I have a team that keeps me chugging along! I'm sorry you're having a crappy time right now. I think that we're already seeing light, what with many of our key family members starting to recover. Yes, Matt is spiraling to the ground like a crashing plane, but the others are getting there.

 

I'm not sure any of your suggestions are viable, and to be honest, I don't usually listen to suggestions anyway. The characters and the story usually drive me, and I usually don't have things thought out that far in advance. A sketchy mental outline is about all I work with.

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On 02/10/2014 01:51 PM, rjo said:
To be back here so soon is a very good thing. Llke Mark I was tired of the arguing. However, things seem to be better now. Like this new chapter a calm place for the moment. Drama is never far from the CAP world. That's why we love it so much. We can see the storm clouds gathering. JJ is back in New York. Was it real? Did we really loose them? Are they really gone? Some people have brought up JJ's coach. This however is different, no longer in the shadows. Will, Brad and Stef are there. We have forgotten one else, Frank, this is the first time he has been to the sight too, since that day. Grief is the terrible thing that can haunt you forever. It has broken many people, some have risen stronger some never recover. As I said before, Mark set upon the task of telling this story. Not just the day of 9 11 but the aftermath of it, in the lives of these characters. It is not a easy process, one that is stopping and starting, steps backward. All that and each person is different. And what is worse it is a process that must be done almost all alone. What will happen? Who will recover and who will not? How will they be changed? All this and more. At this point I wonder if Mark would start this again? To that I say, it needs to be told. And I believe has been told unbelievable well. For that I thank Mark. Not many could have done it, and no one could have done it better. Thanks Mark for coming back to us. I for one am so happy you are back. With only a few chapters left, so much to do. Matt and Wade. Will and Matt. Matt and Tony. Brad and his sons. Frank. A few more twists and turns, Oh Zach and Will. And why did Aaron die now? When I was telling someone about the story, he wonder how Mark could keep all these characters straight. To that I said most of them are gay. Thanks Mark for coming back, even though it was a short time. Thanks for all your work and that of your team. Thanks for the endless joy you have given me and your other readers. And one more thing, know that you are loved and your are not alone here on the net. Thanks again.
Just to be clear, the arguing wasn't what I found disturbing. I generally find that to be interesting.

 

I think that being in New York will not be as traumatic for Frank, because even though his son died there, he wasn't there, and he didn't experience it first hand. Those are the demons that JJ will have to grapple with.

 

I knew going into this story that it would be difficult to write. It took Granger-like research for the actual attacks, and it certainly sapped my psyche at times. But it was like a road block, staring me straight in the face, and there was no avoiding it, so we have to trudge through it.

 

Jeremy likes to give me crap about stupid things (SMILE), and he's been whining about the slow pace of the stories, how they don't really advance in years all that quickly. I've been doing some self-reflection, and wondering if I've done that on purpose, to sub-consciously avoid this event. I'll let you know if I figure it out.

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On 02/10/2014 02:12 PM, Coastguard said:
I can't tell you how disappointed I was that you had put 9.11 on hold, and then the relief that I was not going to be denied my "fix" when you posted a new chapter. I have followed CAP right from the beginning, but you won't find any in-depth reviews from me. I simply fall in love with a story, and read it without pause to its conclusion. And I have fallen heavily for this series. I hope you continue to write. I can't wait to see what your next story brings. Thanks.
Thanks for the review, and those words!

 

It was important for me to take a breather and re-evaluate the story as I'd laid it out. That's a good thing to do around this point anyway. I had a nice, relaxing weekend, so that gave me time to get it done.

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