The Cockney Canuck - 9. Chapter 9 The Long Goodbye

There was so much that I wanted to do with him before I had to leave. I had plans. I was going to make it a month to remember. When it came time for me to leave, they were going to have to prise us apart.

In just a few incredible hours, I had fallen hopelessly in love with Tom’s penis. I was already familiar with it; I had had it in my sights for a long time. However, that little bit of skin that I used to look at dangling between his legs bared no resemblance to the hot pole of muscle that had earlier been slamming against the back of my throat. Not that I was complaining, I loved playing with it and seeing the reaction on Tom’s cute little face. It was more erotic than anything that I had ever been able to imagine in my sexual fantasies.

The following week, we were at it like rabbits and Tom slept with me almost every single night.

* * * * *

My mother’s funeral took place on December 22nd in London, England. It was the city where she had been born forty-four years earlier. All the arrangements had been made by her brother Don and his wife Sue who were now my legal guardians. There was little for me to do other than show up and as I left the apartment that morning with my new family, it was for the first time in almost a week. Tom of course was with me and he joined my uncle, aunt and me in the lead car.

We began the day by taking a shower together. It was something that we had been doing in school for years, except the shower in the apartment was a lot smaller than the communal ones at school. We washed each other’s hair and backs but other than a quick couple of hugs, there was no sexual contact at all. I wouldn’t have wanted that and Tom would respect my wishes without question. Somehow we even managed to keep our dicks soft which, had it been any other day would have been impossible. We did find it funny though and we were giggling throughout as we continuously got in each other’s way and fought for the best position under the shower hose.

I doubt if we managed to save any time by doing this but it did lighten up the mood a little and make us laugh. That wasn’t our intention but it was something that we had both needed to do in order to take the edge off the day. Anything sexual may have been strictly off the menu that day, but I decided that laughing was allowed at certain times. My mom would have approved and that day was going to be all about her. She always had a good sense of humour and she liked Tom. Maybe she wouldn’t have approved of some of the things that Tom and I did together, but I was sure that she would have preferred me to be with him than facing this ordeal on my own

Only Sue talked as we sat in that car following the hearse. She told us how nice we both looked and asked us if we had managed to sleep okay. She was already acting like a mother, fussing and worrying about me. As we stepped from the car and stood by the church, she flicked a bit of my fringe up away from my eyes and I shouted at her to leave me alone. I knew that she meant well and I could understand that she probably felt that she had to mother me, but I didn’t want it. I knew that I overreacted, and after Tom took me to one side, I apologised. I knew that Sue was being totally natural, she was already a mom to three children and I had no doubts at all that she was a good mother, but at that time I wasn’t ready for another mom and the only person that I wanted touching my hair was the boy standing next to me.

The funeral went well and afterwards the mourners met up at the school hall for some drinks and food. Mr Jenkins had been kind enough to offer the use of the hall to Don for the day and I was able to talk to Nurse Alice again and Mr Jenkins.

When the adults started drinking, Tom and I said goodbye to everyone and left to walk back to the apartment where I collapsed on my bed. I had made it over another hurdle and a very difficult one. Thankfully it was an ordeal that I would only have to go through once in my life. It was a shame that it happened to me at such a young age, but at least I had done my duty and I’m sure that she would have been very proud of the way that I carried myself that day. It was yet another huge weight that had been lifted from my shoulders and I really felt it too. It was the most comfortable that I had been for a long time and Tom must have thought that I had gone straight to sleep because he dutifully took off my shoes, before trying the same thing with my trousers. I opened my eyes to see him fumbling with my zipper.

“Looking for something?” I asked.

“No I was just trying to take off your trousers,” he said.

“I can see that.”

“It’s not like that,” he said blushing slightly. “I thought you were asleep.”

“That’s even worse,” I said, laughing at him.

““I wasn’t trying to get to your dinkle or anything.” He laughed.

“Dinkle?”

“That’s what my mom calls it,” he said.

“Oh” I said, feeling a little uncomfortable with where this was going.

“I mean when I was younger,” he laughed, “when I was much younger. I mean she doesn't call it that now.”

“What does she call it now then?” I asked cautiously.

“Nothing,” he said. “You’re a nut case.”

“I know,” I said before grabbing him and pulling him on top of me. I slipped my arms inside his shirt and up his back, rubbing his smooth skin.

For the first time maybe in two years or more, I felt as if I was able to relax without the constant worry in the back of my mind about my mom. I was convinced now that she was at peace. It had been a difficult couple of years and my mind was filled with horrible memories. I could remember her telling me that she was ill and that she would need to go in for treatment. I could remember seeing her in pain. I could remember the way that she looked at me when they wheeled her out of the apartment for the last time. I could remember how she looked the day before she died. All of these memories flashed before my eyes as I hugged Tom as tight as I could. I tried to cry but I had no more tears left. I must have used more than my fair share of them over the last couple of years. More tears than any boy should ever have to shed for a parent, but surprisingly I had not cried at all that day.

* * * * *

The next day Don and Sue headed back to Canada to be with their three children for Christmas. It had been their intention originally to take me back with them and they had tried to make this happen, but I resisted, preferring instead to spend the Christmas with Tom and his family than with a family that I hardly knew. When they said goodbye they made it clear to me that they would be expecting me to move over there early in the New Year. When we had talked about moving to Canada, I never once said that I didn’t want to go, but they would have got the impression that I wasn’t exactly keen on it either. It was my moms wish that this happened and Don reminded me of that, as they said goodbye that day.

It had only been two weeks but I actually started to miss them after they had gone, I had managed get to know them quite well during their brief visit and it had taken away some of the uneasiness that I had about moving in with them. At least when I went over there, they wouldn’t be complete strangers any more.

It was ironic that I had never experienced a real family Christmas until after my mom had died. With the funeral being only three days before Christmas Day, Tom’s family tried to keep it low key, but for me it was a welcome distraction and I quite enjoyed all the extra attention that I was receiving from his family.

Tom and I had bought each other small gifts like underwear, but I had been telling him all week that he would have his main present at midnight on Christmas Eve. He had guessed that it was sex related but I wasn’t going to spoil the surprise, no matter how much he bugged me. There was something that I knew he had wanted to try with me and he had hinted at it a couple of times at the apartment. I wasn’t sure how ready I was for this, but I had made up my mind during our four day sabbatical that I would do it. I wanted to please Tom for sure, but there was another reason. I knew that if I wanted to have other relationships in the future, then I would probably be expected to do this.

Tom knew that I had something naughty planned for that night and he had been behaving unusually frisky all day. Earlier he had ambushed me on the way out of the toilet and pushed me against the wall putting his hand down the front of my pants for a quick grope. I managed to push him off and adjust myself just before his sister Jenny came upstairs, narrowly avoiding a potentially disastrous situation. When Tom was in one of these moods, he was almost unstoppable and I found myself having to keep him at arms length for fear of him doing something silly and blowing our cover. He kept staring at me all day and giving me, seductive looks that made me go weak at the knees. Had we been alone, I would have given in to him immediately and given him his Christmas present early. However, the house was even busier than usual that day and more people were expected to turn up in the evening for a festive shindig, as Tom called it. He had a big family and they would all gather at Tom’s house on Christmas Eve. He had already warned me that the house would be very busy that night.

“We probably wont get any alone time until very late,” he said. “So maybe we should give each other our presents now.”

“I don’t think that would be a good idea Tom, we’ll just have to wait until the right time. When we’re alone.”

“Wow, it must be naughty,” he said.

“Oh ... it is very naughty Tom. But I think that you’ll enjoy it.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to wait that long,” he said as he put his hand down the front of his trousers to make some adjustments to an obviously fast growing willy. I laughed at his discomfort but knew exactly how he felt. I would have gladly missed his family shindig to be alone with him, if it were an option.

I had never seen so many people in such a small house before that night and even Tom was a little surprised by how busy it was.

“How many relatives do you have exactly Tom?” I asked as he dragged me through the crowded kitchen towards the garden.

“More than this,” he said with a shrug. “But I’m hoping we won’t see all of them tonight.”

“Where are we going?”

“Just follow me,” he said. “And stop asking questions.” I followed him outside into the cold night air to the back of the garden. “Quick, get in the shed.”

“Tom,” I said with teasing smile. “Not here.”

“Shush” he said as he opened the door and pushed me inside. It was damp and smelly inside and when he switched on the light, I was surprised to see two other boys, sitting on garden chairs amongst various rusty tools, tins of paint and old plant pots. I had never been inside the shed before and I had never seen these two boys before either. They were two of Tom’s many cousins and he introduced me to them before shoring up the door behind him so that nobody could get in. There were no windows in the shed and even though the light from the small single bulb that hung above our heads couldn’t be seen from the house, it didn’t give off much light either. Tom reached into one of the murky cupboards and pulled out four cans of beer, which he handed out and suddenly this mystery began to make a little more sense. His cousins looked a little older than we were, but didn’t look like brothers. They relaxed a little after taking a big swig of beer and chatted with us as one of them reached into his pocket and pulled out a spliff. Now I understood completely why we were sitting in a damp shed at the bottom of Tom’s garden. Soon the dank smell of the shed was replaced by the sweet pungent aroma of cannabis. His cousin told us that it was skunk, which was a particularly strong strain of weed and warned Tom and I to go easy. We had both smoked weed before and we were even arrested for foolishly smoking a spliff at the local park not long ago. However, I could tell after my first drag that this stuff was much stronger than anything that I had tried previously.

At least the beer went down well and when Tom spilt his down the front of his sweatshirt, we all started giggling uncontrollably. After that, everything that any of us did or said was the funniest thing ever and I couldn’t even look at Tom without splitting my sides laughing. Thank goodness, the spliff was finished before it made its way back round to me for a third time because I knew that I didn’t need anymore of that shit and neither did Tom judging by his bloodshot eyes. His cousins were much more used to it than we were and had thankfully smoked most of it between them. Tom suggested that we go back to the house before somebody noticed that we were missing. I needed some fresh air, but I didn’t like Tom’s suggestion that I should go in first and wait for him upstairs. I was far too paranoid to go walking into the house on my own looking like a zombie and stinking of weed. I don’t suppose that Tom’s family knew a lot about the effects of cannabis, but it would have been easy for anybody to see that I was stoned. Even the vicar would have been able to see that. I tried pushing Tom out of the door but he held firm, obviously not overjoyed at the prospect either. Eventually his cousins whose names I could no longer remember decided that they would go in first and we would walk in behind them. Somebody switched the light off and Tom opened the door for them.

I allowed them to go before attempting to stand up. I felt a little dizzy and I was immediately pushed back down into the chair by Tom who was climbing all over me.

“Whoa what the f ...”

“Shush, wait up,” he said and he frantically began trying to undo the front of my jeans and then dropped to his knees in front of me. I was giggling and trying to stop him but he was a man on a mission.

“Tom, wait, no, you can’t....”

He could and he did

I could hear people talking and some music as the back door to house opened and then it became muffled again as it closed, signalling that his cousins were inside. We should be following them but I doubted if they would bother coming out to look for us. The way that I was feeling, though it didn’t matter.

‘My boyfriend, I wonder if I could call him that? Is that what Tom is now, my boyfriend? He’s got his face in my lap sucking my dick as if his life suddenly depended on it. We’re way beyond just boyfriends’.

When we got back to Tom’s room, the boys from the shed were playing on the X-Box with four more of his cousins, three girls of various ages and a younger boy. Eight people were more than enough for that small box room and Tom and I had to sit on the floor.

“What happened to you two?” asked one of the boys from the shed, who I think Tom had introduced as Derek.

“We were just chatting,” said Tom.

The spliff had now caught up with me and I was feeling properly stoned. I had started to zone out, picking up only bits of the conversation. The other boy said something about us humping each other in the shed which I found funny but I wasn’t sure why. He had got very close and I wondered if he knew something. I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes as the room began to spin and I started to feel sick.

‘Why did I smoke that shit? All it does is zonk me out and make me ill’.

“Are you okay?” It was Tom, I could hear him talking to me but I couldn’t open my eyes or reply, so I just nodded.

“Is he stoned?” It was a girl’s voice, Tom’s older cousin Millie. We had met on other occasions when I was able to talk and I wasn’t completely out of my box.

“A little” said Tom answering for me.

‘Why is Tom okay and I’m totally off my face’?

“He looks more than a little bit stoned,” said Millie. “And I don’t think he needs any more of this.”

“Here,” said Tom. “Have one of these. It might liven you up.” He handed me a fresh beer, which did have an effect on me, but it didn’t really liven me up or straighten me out as Tom had claimed it would. I got the feeling that I was only starting to feel better because the effects of the spliff we had was beginning to wear off. I swore that I would never smoke any of that crap again.

The later it got the better I started to feel and as Tom got involved in a heated game on the X-Box I had a serious case of the munchies and went downstairs with Millie to grab myself some grub. While I was busy, stuffing my face she grabbed another can of beer and joined me in the kitchen. She was seventeen and allowed to drink but she told me that we could share it and after taking a healthy swig from the can, she handed it to me and I followed suit. We chatted for a while and talked about going to Canada and how much I would miss Tom, before heading back upstairs. I could hear Tom’s voice coming from his bedroom as he got a little over-excited with the game, but instead of going back to join them, she walked me straight past the door and into his sisters’ room. I should have guessed by the way that she was talking to me, that she wanted a little more than just a private chat and she wasn’t hanging around either.

“Are you a virgin, Robbie,” she said. I must have looked as if I had just seen a ghost and I didn’t answer her. “Yeah, I thought so.”

To be honest I wasn’t sure if I was a virgin or not. If we were talking about girls then she was right, I definitely was as virgin and wanted to stay that way.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said. “But you obviously want to lose that tag right, I mean no boy wants to be a virgin.”

‘Not me. Not in the way that you're thinking’.

She put her hand on my thigh and it made me jump, I was so nervous. Then she moved her hand onto my crotch and began rubbing my dick as she moved in to kiss me.

“You're so nervous, relax,” she said. “I’m not going to hurt you; we can have sex if you want?”

“I don’t think we should,” I said. “Someone may walk in.”

“Not here,” she said. “We can go for a walk somewhere.”

“It’s kind of cold outside, don’t you think. Maybe we should leave it for another day when it’s warmer.” She was staring at me and I looked away.

“I can give you a blowjob,” she said.

‘Twice in one night, I don’t believe this’.

“Maybe another time,” I said. I was trying hard not to hurt her feelings, but I guess that I failed and she stood up annoyed at my reaction.

“Suit yourself,” she said. “I was just trying to be nice to you. You can stay a virgin if that’s what you want.” Before she walked out of the room, she turned around to me. “Don’t tell anyone about this.”

“Of course I won’t” I replied but I had no intention of keeping this from Tom and certainly no intention of remaining a virgin if that’s what I was.

I told Tom what had happened as we pulled the mattress out from under his bed even though we had no intention of using it. It was just after two o’clock and the last of his cousins had left with their respective parents, although downstairs judging by the laughter and noise the party was still going strong. Tom’s room was in a real state and so were we. I had probably had no more than three beers, but it was the most that I had ever had to drink at one time and I was feeling a little drunk. Tom looked even worse and he was definitely having trouble standing up straight.

“She wanted to give you a blowjob?” he said as he collapsed across the bed. “Why didn’t you let her?”

“Tom,” I said sitting down next to him. “I’m gay, remember. Do I really need to explain it?”

“No” he said, “I get it, I think.” He laughed. “Maybe I should have let her finish your beer earlier,” he said and once more, he was rolling up laughing.

I had stripped off to my briefs but Tom still hadn't managed to remove any items of clothing.

“I had better get you undressed?” I asked him.

“Go ahead,” he smiled. “Unwrap me, I’m all yours.”

I knelt over him and pulled off his sweatshirt and t-shirt.

“What about my Christmas present,” he smiled.

“I need to get you naked first,” I said tugging at his fly. I could feel that he was hard and could see the outline of his penis as through his boxers as I pulled his trousers down and over his ankles.

“Don’t forget my feets,” he said.

‘As if I would forget his feet’.

I pulled off his socks and gently stroked his feet before removing his boxers.

“Now can I have my present,” he said.

“Okay.” I was blushing and nervous as I reached into my bag and pulled out a small package that I had earlier wrapped in Christmas paper. “I hope you like it,” I said and watched him carefully as he opened it and laughed. Then he started to blush.

“I know that you wanted to try it, so I decided that if we were going to do it, then we should at least do it properly.”

“Do you want to do this now?” he asked.

“It’s up to you,” I said. “We don’t have to if you don’t feel up to it.”

“I want to,” he said sharply. “Are you sure though, that you don’t mind?”

“It’s cool Tom,” I said, stroking his arm. “I really want this.”

I had bought him a tube of lube and a packet of condoms. Simple but effective and it couldn’t be mistaken.

Tom smiled at me and then moved towards me for a hug. He lost his giggles and seemed to sober up a bit as the mood began to get a lot more serious.

“This will always be our secret, right,” he said.

“I won’t tell if you won’t.”

Tom climbed off the bed, lifted the bottom end of the mattress and rested it half way up against the door below he handle, making it almost impossible to open from the outside.

“A little extra insurance,” he said. “I want to be doubly sure that we don’t get caught.”

I was impressed by how serious he was taking this as he turned the light off and switched on his bedside lamp.

The next day I slept late. It was Christmas day and Tom eventually woke me up with coffee and biscuits before snuggling beside me in bed. He asked me how I felt and I had told him that I was a little sore, but okay. I knew that he was feeling guilty and he kept apologising, which I thought was really sweet of him, considering that it was me who had instigated the whole thing. He was genuinely concerned though and even offered to take a look at it for me, but I didn’t particularly want Tom examining my ring piece and told him that I would be fine.

“I’m not looking forward to taking a dump though,” I said.

“I’m afraid I can’t help you with that,” he said, but it guaranteed me of his constant attention as he mothered me for the rest of the day, attending to my every need. I was convinced that there was more to it than a simple guilt complex for causing me a little soreness. What we did that night was special or that’s how it felt to me. It was as if we had reached a new level in our relationship. We were no longer just two smutty schoolboys jerking off together, which was how it had felt to me before. This was something much more meaningful than anything that we had done before and it seemed to connect us not just physically but in a much more personal way. That Christmas Day Tom had made love to me in a way that I believed nobody else would ever do. We had shared an intensely intimate experience together and one that I was convinced would change our relationship forever.

What we had done seemed to change the way that we felt about each other. I didn’t want to mention it to Tom because I thought that it would worry him to admit that this was anything other than a bit of fun, but I could see it in him. It was in his eyes, in his body language and in the way that he spoke to me. It was different but I couldn’t understand how or why that was.

That day we barely left each other’s side and we were both very touchy. I don’t think that Tom went longer than about twenty minutes without hugging me or holding me for some reason and it was starting to become quite noticeable to the other members of the family. It’s inconceivable to think that they didn’t know that something was going on between us; they probably just didn’t know the extent of it.