The Cockney Canuck - 25. Chapter 25 The Easter Weekend Part 1

Fran had everything planned meticulously as usual and had told me to get to her house for eight. Her parents would have already left for their cottage taking her younger siblings Claudia and Roberto with them. Philippe was going to be busy; he worked in the family business at their warehouse in the neighbouring town of Port Hope. They would be receiving a big shipment from Italy. Four thousand bottles of wine, apparently, but I had my doubts about that.

The warehouse was an important part of the business but despite his young age, Philippe ran most of it himself. It was no surprise; he was the eldest son and heir.

“It’s an important job,” said Fran when I saw her that morning in homeroom. “And this is a big day for him. Daddy’s been training him to take over when he retires, then Philippe will be the big boss.”

‘She means the Godfather’.

We were standing by our desks waiting for Mrs Reigor to begin the day; Fran pushed my fringe back away from my eyes and smiled at me. “He’s supposed to be keeping a check on us as well,” she said. “But I’ve told him that he’s not allowed to come back before tomorrow morning.” I was surprised to hear that a future mafia boss was taking orders from his little sister.

“He’s staying over at Marie’s house, but my parents don’t know that and I’ve told them that we’re picking you up on the way, so remember that, because daddy will be probing to make sure that were not up to anything. He’s smart and he’ll ask questions, so beware.”

‘Shit, if anything happens tonight and her old man finds out about it, he’ll have me bumped off for sure. That’s probably what happened to her first boyfriend’.

I wasn’t too happy about Philippe knowing what we were going to be up to either, even if his co-operation was a vital part of the plan. He was his father’s trusted deputy and heir to family business, how could we be sure that he would be willing to keep our secret. I wondered what hold Fran had over her brother that made him do whatever she asked. He had come to our rescue once already, but getting Fran drunk would be a relatively minor discrepancy, compared to what she had planned for us that night.

“Does Philippe always do what you tell him; doesn't he care about what you get up to?”

“Sure he cares, Robbie. We’re close and he trusts me to be sensible, he trusts you too, he knows that I wouldn’t do this with just any guy. Besides, I’ve covered for him enough times before, so he definitely owes me.”

Suddenly, being gay and having a boyfriend didn’t seem dangerous at all, compared with the risks involved in dating the daughter of someone who looked as if he could be a mafia boss. As if to confirm this, I was treated to a quick reminder of what I could be missing as Rory entered the classroom and sauntered over to his desk. He looked fresh-faced and gave me a generous smile that warmed my insides and speeded up my pulse. I smiled back and kept my eyes on him, knowing that I would be rewarded with the perfect view of his gorgeous teen bottom as he turned around, almost in slow motion to take his seat. It always looked as if everything that boy did was for me, or maybe I just wanted to believe that.

I was brought back to reality by my girlfriend’s hand on my own butt. “Don’t be any later than eight,” she said with a squeeze, “dinner will be at nine and it’s gonna be special, I think you’ll like it.”

“I’m sure that I’ll like whatever you cook Fran,” I said.

“Well you’d better, because if you're a good boy, you’ll be able to have something very special for desert,” she whispered in a manner that could only mean one thing.

“Is it apple pie?” I said.

“With cream…” she added and I had to sit down quickly and think of Miss Pringle.

With her parents and siblings all out of the house for the evening and Fran seemingly unable to keep her hands off me, even at that ridiculously early time of day, I had to admit, it looked like the day of reckoning had arrived. I had worked out that we would have the house to ourselves for about fifteen hours before her brother showed up. If it took us two hours to eat and clear up and a maximum eight for sleeping, that would still leave us five hours for…desert! I switched my status from worry mode into full-blown panic.

‘How will I be able to keep going for five hours, with only one dick to play with? But if I back out now then it’ll break her heart and Philippe’s gonna be really pissed off. I’ll end up in tins of dog meat or something’.

I was sure that Fran would be able to get an orgasm or too out of me, providing she used her hands or mouth, but she was going to want to have sexual intercourse, with all the trimmings. She had told me that she was taking the contraceptive pill to avoid pregnancy and even though I wasn’t that familiar with the procedure, I knew that you couldn’t just get these from the local 7-Eleven. You had to see your doctor and have an examination and it took a bit of time and effort, she wasn’t going to go through all of that and be happy giving me a quick hand job. She would want a return for her investment and that was what worried me.

‘She’s gonna want me to perform and that means staying hard and being able to finish, they are basic requirements. What if I can’t finish, she will be expecting that, it’s part of the deal. In the videos girls seemed to like that part, if I fail then I’m gonna be the one who’s screwed’.

Fran had proved elusive that day at school; we talked as usual in between lessons, but after that morning, there was hardly any mention of our plans for that evening. I got the feeling however, that she wasn’t being so secretive with her friends and at lunch, as I made my way over to the table where she was sitting with Laura and Stacey, the conversation suddenly stopped. Fran was very touchy and made a fuss of me as usual, but it was obvious that whatever they were talking about before I sat down, wasn’t meant for my ears. I figured that if they weren’t talking to me, then they were probably talking about me. Maybe I was allowing this to get the better of me and being a little paranoid about the whole thing, but there was something in the way that Laura and Stacey kept looking over at me, that made me nervous. They had this kind of ‘we know something you don’t’, smirk on their faces, which made me wonder how much girls revealed to their best friends, when it came down to their private lives.

‘Has she told Laura and Stacey about her plans for tonight? Maybe they’re even giving her some advice’.

The thought made me shudder.

I felt a bit like a spare prick at a wedding, so after scoffing down my lunch, I made some lame excuse to Fran about having to talk to somebody about something random and to my surprise, she actually bought it and sent me packing. This confirmed my suspicions and after walking away, I noticed that the girl’s conversation was back in full swing.

It didn’t matter to me; I was free to roam and knew exactly where to go. I had noticed Nathan glancing over at me as I walked into the cafeteria and he looked a little disappointed when I walked past his table with only a wave, to go and sit with Fran and company. Nathan was never short of friends, which at times made him a little difficult to approach. Some of them seemed to act like his personal bodyguards and were suspicious of any outsiders getting too close to their mentor. This was how it looked to me from a distance, but with so many people looking after him, it also gave him an air of vulnerability. It made him look almost fragile, like a china doll. An object of beauty to look at, but not to touch or play with, in case you broke him. His looks alone guaranteed him more than enough attention, but his ‘proud to be gay’ personality, ensured that even though he was still only in his first year of high school, he was noticed wherever he went and known by everyone.

There was something about the boy that fascinated me and gnawed away at my resolve to try to be straight. He had proved to be a major obstacle from the beginning and I always had the feeling that our paths were destined to cross somehow. He was still apparently a close friend of Daniel’s, but there was little evidence to back up this claim. His supposed sleepover during the spring break had not materialised and I wondered if Daniel had even asked his one time best friend. It did seem odd that after being almost inseparable when they were younger, now they were rarely seen in each other’s company. I wanted to find out why this was and if there was anything that I could do to help repair their friendship, but there were other reasons that were drawing me towards him. I liked being in his company, it excited me and it made me feel good and happy in a way that I dared not to even think about.

Admittedly, he was gorgeous to look at and cute in a very boyish way which I found irresistible. He wasn’t naturally feminine or camp, except when he wanted to annoy someone and he didn’t wear make up or jewellery other than a small black stud in each ear. He looked and acted like a boy and even the clothes that he wore for school were trendy but not overly extravagant. For me, he just seemed to tick all the boxes and I knew it from the moment that I first saw him.

Everyone’s tastes are different, but personally speaking on a scale of one to ten, even as I write, Nathan remains probably the only true perfect ten that I had ever seen in real life. I know that Hollywood has conjured up a few heartthrobs over the years and I had drooled over more than a few of them in my time, but I was sure that Nathan would have been a match for any one of them on his day. He was totally natural too. I mean, he obviously looked after himself and always wore nice clothes, but he didn’t need professional make-up artists or the worlds top fashion experts to make him look special. I’m sure this wasn’t the case with some of the pretty boy actors from tinsel town, that I had pulled my plonker over when I was younger.

He definitely had star quality and confidence in abundance, which made him the centre of attention, his friends would hang off every word that he spoke and laugh at every joke. That day however, I had noticed that there were only two others with him at lunch, it left two chairs free at his table and I was about to claim one of them.

He obviously hadn't expected me to be that bold and looked a bit surprised when I asked him if the seat next to him was taken. Ginny was sitting the other side of him, she had become a permanent fixture lately and it looked at times as if she were glued to his side. It was something that Nathan didn’t always seem happy with and I didn’t blame him, she was scary at the best of times and there were rumours flying about that she had attempted suicide. The other seat was taken by a kid named Mario; he was in Nathan’s homeroom and looked decidedly emo. I had seen him a few times with Nathan and I wondered if there was anything more to their friendship. It was a thought that I wasn’t comfortable with at all. This boy looked like he could be gay, but I didn’t think that he was worthy of Nathan’s attention in that kind of way and I didn’t really know of anyone who was.

I wasn’t interested in his friends though, he was the one that I had come to see and his cute face lit up like a Christmas tree as he motioned for me to sit down next to him.

“What happened did she dump you or something?” he asked.

‘If only that were true’.

“Girls talk, I didn’t want to have to listen to it,” I said and he and Mario laughed.

“I heard that you're going away for the weekend,” said Nathan.

“You and Fran,” added Mario, “to a cottage up near Algonquin.” He smirked and even Ginny had a smile but I didn’t like what he was implying and looked disapprovingly at him while I worked on a response.

‘Who is this kid and how comes he knows all this? I’ve never even talked to him before’.

“It’s not like that,” I said, feeling the need to put him right. “We’re going away for the weekend to her parent’s cottage, but her family will be there and her parents are really strict, they won’t let her out of their sight.”

“They won’t let you guys have sex, you mean?” said Nathan.

“Definitely not,” I confirmed, looking into his cool blue eyes. It was a mistake, they had a habit of pulling me in and there was also something about the way that he said the word ‘sex’ that had me squeezing my legs together. I wanted him to say it again.

“That sucks man,” said Mario. “Maybe you should take her out on the lake in a boat and do it there man. Out in the open, chicks love it, I swear.”

‘Maybe you should piss off and let me talk to Nathan, emo boy’.

Ginny obviously disapproved of this statement and she threw a balled up napkin at him, which hit in the face and made me laugh. “No wonder that you can’t find yourself a girlfriend, dumb ass,” she said.

‘I guess he’s not into Nathan after all’.

“Mario have you ever tried having sex in a boat?” said Nathan.

‘He said it again, the ‘sex’ word’.

“No,” he replied.

“Well it sounds a little dangerous to me,” said Nathan.

“You could take her hiking?” said Mario, “then bang her in the bushes where her old man can’t see you? You can make as much noise as you want and you won’t be disturbed.” He moved his hips back and forth, simulating sex to add some emphasis to his comment. It was amusing and I was starting to warm to this kid, after realising that he was obviously not trying to get into Nathan’s pants. I didn’t think that Fran would have been too impressed with our conversation though, had she been able to hear Mario telling me to bang her in the bushes.

“Maybe she doesn't want to be banged in the bushes,” said Ginny.

“I wouldn’t blame her either,” said Nathan, “it sounds painful.” I laughed.

“It sounds illegal,” I said.

“Or like some secret cult, that meet in the woods.”

“The secret order of bush bangers,” I said. The look of confusion on Mario’s face, made it funnier than it was.

“I don’t get it,” he said.

“You're the one who mentioned bush banging not us,” I said.

“Yeah,” said Nathan, “how do we know that you're not one of them?”

“We may have to torture him until he confesses,” I said. “Do you know of any good torture methods?”

“You wouldn’t wanna know,” he said. “I’ve got a pair of handcuffs at home, and a rubber suit. Oh and some nipple clamps.” He smiled at me and there was an uncomfortable few moments of silence as the rest of us processed this information.

“I think I need to go to your house,” I said and he laughed, but I was being serious.

“Only if you wear the rubber suit,” he said, in a sultry voice and I could see his eyes looking me up and down.

‘Is he trying to imagine me in this rubber suit, does he actually have a rubber suit for real, what is a rubber suit anyway’?

“I would insist on it.”

“And nothing else underneath,” he said, pouting his lips at me and putting on a sexy face. He didn’t need to do that, his face was permanently sexy anyway. “And I’ll have to handcuff you.”

I think that I nearly passed out at that point and struggled to say something that made any sense. “Are they the type that have the pink fur around them?”

“You betcha.”

“I’m there man,” I said.

“You guys are weird,” added Mario. I had forgotten that he was even there.

“I’ve had enough of this bullshit,” said Ginny. “I see you later Nath,” she waved to Nathan. “And I’ll see you at home jerk,” she motioned to Mario before walking off.

‘Nath? See you at home’?

“Yeah bye Ginny,” I said, waving to thin air, after she had left.

“She doesn't mean to be rude,” said Nathan, but I suspected otherwise.

“My sister isn’t an easy person to get to know,” said Mario, and it started to make sense. I turned my attention back to Nathan, who was already watching me.

“So you and Fran are dating right?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said. I wanted to say much more than that. I wanted to say that I didn’t really want to be dating her and that I’d much rather be dating him, but how could I?

“You could use my room,” said Mario, “if you let me watch.”

“What?”

“To have sex with Fran.”

‘He wants to watch’?

“No thanks, I’m not that type of guy.”

“Really?” said Nathan, dragging the word out and raising his eyebrows. “What type of guy are you then? I’m intrigued.”

“Not the type who goes around banging people in the bushes,” I said meeting his eyes.

“Shit man,” said Mario, “you’ve gotta nail her soon dude, or someone else will.”

‘That’s fine with me, help yourself’.

“Mario, not everyone has to have sex all the time to have fun,” said Nathan. “Although it would be nice to try it once in a while.”

‘Is he a virgin’?

“Nathan’s still waiting for his first,” said Mario. “But then so am I.”

“That’s cool,” I said, keeping my eyes on Nathan.

‘Some lucky boy is gonna have so much fun with you some day’.

“I don’t wanna jump into bed with the first person I meet,” said Nathan, “I’m waiting for the right guy. I need to at least like him.”

“Oh, he’s gay too,” said Mario.

“Well thanks for pointing that out to me Mario, I’ll keep my distance. What about you, are you waiting for the right guy as well?”

“Girl, you mean. I’m not gay and I’m not waiting for the perfect chick either, I’ll bang anything,” he said.

“You both have plenty of time; you're not even legal yet,” I said staring into Nathan’s big puppy dog eyes. They were so intense; it seemed as if they were looking right into my soul. Those eyes were definitely telling me something, but I didn’t want to go there, I was already struggling with a boner and I could feel my cheeks burning. I needed to change the subject. “Are there any bears where I’ll be going?”

“Algonquin?” said Mario. “Fuck yeah, there’s shit loads of them up there, you wanna be careful man. You don’t wanna bump into one of those fuckers. They’ll rip your fucking head clean off.”

“Really,” I said as I noticed Nicola walking towards me.

“Oh yeah,” he said, “They can be nasty fuckers.”

‘Talking of which …’

“Hello Nicola,” I said, “we were just talking about you.” Nathan and Mario fell about laughing, but I kept a straight face and Nicola frowned at all three of us. “All good of course,” I added.

“I can tell,” she said narrowing her eyes at me. “Mom wants to know if you're gonna be having dinner with us tonight or at Fran’s house, she just sent me a text to ask you.”

“Thanks Nicola,” I mumbled to myself. She did that on purpose knowing that I wouldn’t have mentioned it to anyone. Fran wasn’t going to be too happy if word got out that I was staying over at her place that night, and Mario didn’t seem like the best person at keeping secrets.

“What was that?” she said.

“It doesn't matter,” I said. “No you can tell her that I won’t be around for dinner tonight,” and she smugly walked away leaving me to answer a few questions.

Mario wasted no time. “Are you staying over at her house tonight?”

“Supposedly,” I said, trying to make it sound as if I wasn’t looking forward to it, which of course I wasn’t.

“Yeah Robbie go for it.” He slapped me on the back and tried to high five me for some strange reason; I was expecting him to hand out cigars and crack open the bubbly. I shook my head in dismay and looked around to make sure that Fran wasn’t watching.

“You gotta watch this dude man,” he told a friend who was passing our table and pointing over to me. I decided it was time to leave, before Fran realised that our secret wasn’t a secret anymore.

I looked at Nathan. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone,” he said almost apologetically.

“Thanks Nathan, but I think it’s out there now anyway.” I got up to leave.

“Where are you going?” he asked, “we’ve still got twenty minutes.” He sounded almost disappointed that I was getting up to leave and it stopped me in my tracks.

“I need to get outta here, I think I’ll go sit in the library for a while,” I said. “Do you want to come with me?”

I had said it without even thinking, it just came out. As if I was talking to Rory or Fran instead of the hottest boy in school. If I had thought about what I was going to say then I would probably never have asked him, expecting him to have better things to do than sit in a library.

“I’d love to come with you,” said Nathan putting my brain in a spin as I tried to work out if he had meant it, the way that I heard it.

“I bet you say that to all the boys,” I said.

“Not all of them.”

‘What does that mean’?

I looked across at Mario to say goodbye.

“You two guys have fun together in the library,” he said winking at us, which made us both laugh.

“We will, don’t worry,” said Nathan and as we walked together through the crowded cafeteria I got my first taste of what it was like to be him. We got a few looks of course but that didn’t bother me, but he must have said hi to at least half a dozen kids, before we had even reached the foyer. Most of them were girls, but all friendly and as ever, he seemed to be enjoying the attention.

“You’re a bit of a celebrity,” I said. “I should have brought my sunglasses.”

He laughed, “People aren’t always so nice to me. They can be horrible at times.” I found it hard to believe that anyone could be horrible to such an adorable boy who was always so full of life and seemed to leak fun wherever he went.

“There are always assholes and bigots wherever you go, I know that for sure,” I said. “But you have a lot of friends at school; I mean you’re never alone.”

“No,” he said. “Alone is not good, I learnt that the hard way.”

“Oh, sorry,” I said and he laughed and then reached over to hold my bare arm, the contact was warm and sensual and sent blood rushing to my head and dick.

“What are you sorry for?” he said, “You don’t have to apologise for what someone else does, just because you're straight.” I looked at him and didn’t really know what to say. I glanced down towards his hand, which was still holding my arm as we climbed the stairs and he must have seen me, because he immediately let go.

“Sorry,” he said, “I can be a little touchy at times but I don’t mean it…like I wasn’t trying to…you know…in that kind of way, I know that you're straight.” He was blushing and it was probably the first time that I had seen him embarrassed or flustered. Now he looked to be on a par with me. I had a serious case of butterflies in my stomach and I couldn’t stop myself from smiling and then giggling, as I watched him tripping over his words.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, but I couldn’t really tell him because I didn’t know myself why I was laughing, I just was.

“It doesn't matter,” I said, “I actually quite like it.” I could feel the heat in my cheeks.

‘What did I say that for, he’s gonna work it out, he’ll out me for sure, I just told him that I liked him touching me, even if it was only on the arm. Did I like it when he touched me, do I want him to know this’?

He looked a little confused by my comment. “What do you like?”

“It’s not important,” I lied to him, it was stupid thing to say, it felt like life or death to me.

When we got to the library, it was empty of course, it always was and we sat down in the corner, facing each other across a table. It wasn’t very comfortable, but it was dead quiet and a world away from the hustle and bustle of the cafeteria.

“Do you come here often?” he said and we immediately fell about giggling. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to come out like that, it sounds so corny.”

“Cant you think of a better chat up line than that?” I said and the giggling stopped, giving way to silence as we both sat nervously, trying to think of what to say. Then we both talked at the same time.

“Sorry,” he said.

“No after you.”

“I was just gonna say that it wasn’t meant to be a chat up line,” he said. “You don’t need to worry, I’m not gonna make a move on you.” he must have noticed a slight look of disappointment on my face. “Unless you want me to of course.”

“Oh now I’m disappointed.” I pouted at him in fun, but his look was serious as he tried to work me out. There was another uncomfortable silence, but my mind was racing and inside my heart was pounding so hard that I was sure that he would be able to hear it. I was certain that we were thinking the same thing but both too scared to mention it. I looked into his eyes and we started giggling again, I think it was more nerves than anything else.

“It’s quiet.”

“I know it’s a library,” I said and we laughed.

“I like your shirt,”

“You do?”

“Yeah, you look really…”

“Go on.”

“No I’m embarrassed.”

“What was you gonna say?”

“No, I can’t you’ll think I’m weird.”

“I think you're weird anyway.”

“I was gonna say that you look sexy,” he said, “but I know that I shouldn’t say that, I don’t want you to think that I’m making a move on you.”

“I don’t mind.”

“You don’t mind if I make a move on you?”

“No, why would I mind?”

“It would bother most straight boys.”

“If it bothered me Nathan, then I wouldn’t be sitting here with you and I wouldn’t have come over to talk to you in the cafeteria. And I wouldn’t be looking out for you every Thursday at the bus stop and be disappointed when you don’t show up.”

His eyes opened wider than I had ever seen them before and he looked genuinely surprised by what I had said, his mouth was slightly open and he was blushing.

“You're red.”

“So are you.”

“We can meet up if you want,” he said, “outside of school.”

“Okay.” My eyes flicked towards him briefly but he looked away, nervously.

“Is that what you want?”

“I think.”

“Do you like me?”

“Yes, I…”

“It’s okay, I like you too,” he said, “I suppose I gave myself away, when I said you were sexy.”

“I guess.”

We giggled and blushed some more if that were even possible, my mouth was dry and I felt almost sick, but in a nice way.

“Are you bi-sexual?” he asked.

“Maybe” I said. “But the truth is I don’t really know yet.”

“Oh, you don’t know yet if you like boys in that way.”

“No” I said, “I don’t know yet if I like girls in that way.”

He stared at me for another long time. “But you have a girlfriend, Fran?”

‘Oh yes Fran…my girlfriend and I’m supposed to be having sex with her tonight.

My head was spinning but my thoughts were interrupted by the electronic beeps that signalled five minutes until the end of lunch. I didn’t want to leave him, but I didn’t want to talk anymore either. I suddenly felt as if I had given away a big secret that I was supposed to keep and betrayed myself. What I had said could come back, hurt me and cause problems with the family. I could lose everything because of my stupid gay feelings.

“Nathan, I need to go, I’m sorry, it was stupid of me to say those things, I have a girlfriend. I’m sorry, we’ll talk later, I promise, I’m sorry.”

“Its okay dude, I understand,” he said, but I doubted if he could.

“You don’t,” I said, “I’m being a right prick, I know I am. I’m sorry mate, I really do like you a lot and I think that you're sexy too, like you wouldn’t believe, but I can’t do this.”

“Why?”

“I’m scared of what will happen.” I was fighting back tears and wiped my eyes with my arm before heading back downstairs alone. By the time I reached the next floor I was engulfed in a mass of kids and noise. When I looked up, I could see Nathan still standing where I had left him, and I hated myself.

‘Maybe that was my opportunity to be really happy and I didn’t take it’.

* * * * *

Fran probably had the exact time that we were going to have sex written down in a notebook somewhere, I was sure of it. She obviously had everything planned but she wasn’t sharing any of this information with me. All I had to do, she said was to show up at eight at her house and she would take care of the rest. I was under the impression that I had an important part to play in all of this, but apparently not important enough to be trusted with any of the details. What really annoyed me though was that everyone else seemed to know other than me. We were supposed to be keeping it a secret yet by the end of the school day, it seemed almost as if it was common knowledge and I was surprised that Mr Andrews hadn’t announced it over the PA system before we left for the Easter weekend. I didn’t talk much to anyone that afternoon and I couldn’t concentrate on my schoolwork either, my head was filled with Nathan and what happened at lunchtime. I was confused and worried about what I had said, and too scared to think about backing out of my date with Fran.

“I’m only going over there for dinner,” I said to Nicola on the bus home. “And her brother will be there the whole time.” My extra math class had been cancelled that day, so I was back on the old boneshaker for the ride home and for the first time ever, Nicola had insisted on sitting next to me and she was actually being nice. She was obviously after some information, but on this occasion, she probably knew more about that night than I did.

“What are you worried about?” she said, “You're getting laid, most guys would be happy about that. What are you worried in case you can’t get it up or something?” She was laughing, and I stared out of the window wishing that they hadn't of cancelled my extra class. Nicola, had of course, hit the nail on the head, although she didn’t know it. She was taking the piss out of me and I wasn’t going to rise to her bait.

“Not everyone has to have sex all the time to have fun,” I said repeating Nathan’s words from earlier that day. They seemed so much wiser coming from him though.

“Don’t be such a jerk Robbie. Like you're gonna say no to getting laid.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I know that you're a boy and you have a dick and that’s all I need to know. You do have a dick don’t you?”

“Of course I have a dick,” I said a little louder than I wanted to. It got me some funny looks from a few of the other kids on the bus and a few laughs. “Of course I have a dick,” I repeated much quieter “do you think that I’m a eunuch?”

“Well you haven’t got any balls so it makes sense that you haven’t got a dick either,” she said.

“If you haven’t got anything nice to say, then sit somewhere else.”

“Fran’s a nice girl, you don’t deserve her and I don’t believe that mom and dad are actually allowing you to spend the night at her house when her parents aren’t there. They would go crazy if I tried to do that.”

“I get it now, that’s what all this is about isn’t it? You're just jealous.”

“I’m not jealous of you.”

“Then you're jealous of Fran then,” I smirked.

“Don’t kid yourself Romeo, I don’t even like you, let alone find you attractive if that’s what you mean. You're weird to even think like that. Yuk, you're supposed to be my brother.”

I was only winding her up of course, it was impossible for me to think of Nicola in that way. I would have preferred to have a romantic encounter with Godzilla, but at least it shut her up for a couple of hours and I went back to thinking about Nathan and what happened earlier.