The Cockney Canuck - 10. Chapter 10 Homesick

Before moving to Canada, I had spent a lot of time trying to imagine what a Canadian school would be like. Not once had I ever imagined that it would be anything like Stephenson. It was difficult not to be impressed by the facilities.

Admittedly, the photographs used on the school website were taken on a summer’s day before the school had even opened, which made it look bigger and brighter than it was on an overcast day in January with seven hundred plus students milling about, but it definitely had the beating of my old school.

The underlying theme here seemed to be space, and there was a lot of it. The classrooms looked bigger and less cluttered, which appealed to my sense of order.

The desks were positioned so that it wasn’t possible to interfere with the person sitting next to you, behind you or in front of you. The no touching zone meant that it was possible to pass something to the person sitting next to you, but not throw a random punch at them; something which happened quite a lot at my previous school.

*     *     *

After spending most of my first day, trying to keep up with the manic Mrs Whitcomb, Tuesday was to be my first normal day at school. I left Daniel and Nicola at the main staircase to search for my locker, which was close to my homeroom and English class on the first floor. The plan was to be as discreet as possible and slip into the classroom without anybody really noticing. I didn’t want to be the new boy or the centre of attention and I certainly didn’t want anyone to know I was from another country. I was the last person to enter the room and recognised the teacher Mrs Riegor from my English literacy test the day before.

After returning her greeting, I scoured the room for a spare seat. I opted for the one furthest away at the back and almost reached it when she pounced.

“Just a minute young man.” I knew that she was talking to me. Anyone else, she would have called his or her name. I froze just inches from safety. “Come here please, I need to introduce you to the class.”

‘Shit’!

I rolled my eyes and let out a deep sigh before dragging my feet back to the front of the class.

Mrs Riegor was a small, smartly dressed woman who must have been in her early sixties. She wore half round glasses and searched through a pile of papers until she found my details.

“Do you prefer to be called Robert or Rob?” she asked quietly.

“Robbie.”

She peered over her half round glasses at me with a serious expression before looking down to her desk and scribbling my name onto a blank piece of paper. Then she turned me around to face the class.

“Robbie is from London, England,” she said studying my face. “And he has recently moved to Cobourg. Today is his first day in a Canadian school and this will be his first class, so I want you all to make him feel at home.”

There was a collective mumble of greetings from the students and I heard a distinctive “How do you do,” in a mock English accent, which got a few laughs. There were a few smiles, some nods, and a couple of waves, from my new classmates. I smiled nervously before turning to Mrs Riegor.

“Can I sit down now?”

She smiled and nodded, but as I made my way to the back of the class, she stopped me again.

“Your desk is here Robbie,” she said and once again, I froze and turned to see her pointing to an empty desk at the front. This time everyone found it funny as I made my way to my allocated seat. So much for my plan of keeping a low profile, she had blown my cover straight away. It couldn’t have been a worse start.

‘I’m surprised that she didn’t ask me to sing the bleeding national anthem’.

I kept my eyes focused mostly on the teacher during that first lesson but every so often, I would notice one of the students looking over at me girls and boys, probably wondering what I was doing in Cobourg. A few gave me a friendly smile when I looked back at them and a couple even mouthed a friendly hi to me. I wondered if I would make friends with any of them. Making friends wasn’t something that I had been particularly good at in England but I had the feeling that it might prove to be a little easier for me here considering the obvious interest that I was attracting already from my new classmates.

A few of them took the time to introduce themselves to me after the lesson had finished. One of these was a boy named Rory who made a point of shaking my hand and seemed very touchy. I had to admit he had a cute face and low sexy voice to go with it. He told me that his parents were from Manchester, which apparently made him half-English. He was also keen to tell me how much he liked football and the fact that he called it football instead of soccer like everybody else, made me believe him. He was a Manchester United fan, which meant that we would be arch-rivals but I got the feeling that Rory and I were going to be friends.

The next lesson was chemistry, which involved working in pairs at a bench instead of sitting at a desk. As I didn’t have, a lab partner to work with I had to spend the lesson helping a guy called Alex and his lab partner Jenny. He was well built and clearly played a lot of sport. He had a nice face and a cute lopsided smile. They clearly had something going on and were touchy with one another. I found it amusing and made a mental note that Alex was very definitely straight.

The school was big in area but the classrooms were easy to find, except if you were trying to look at a ridiculously small map that had been folded up in my pocket. I suppose that I was going to have some problems finding my way around on my first day and this happened on the way to my first class of the afternoon, which was History. I must have looked confused as I struggled to try to read the map that I had been given.

“What class are you looking for?” said a girl with long black hair and olive skin. She was standing next to me by my locker trying to see what I was looking at on the map.

“GF” I replied, “but this map is too small to read.”

“History class with Mr Mulligan?” she said.

“History, yes,teachers” I said, “but I don’t teacher's name.”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said, “follow me; I’m in that class too.”

It was lucky, I had been about to go in the wrong direction.

“You’re the new kid aren’t you?” she said, “from England?”

“Guilty on both counts,” I said smiling “my name is …”

“Robbie,” she said, “yes I know.”

“Have we met?” I asked.

“I was sitting behind you in homeroom,” she said. “And then in English, I was also in your chemistry class before lunch.”

Now I felt silly. “Oh…I didn’t recognise you. I’m sorry. I’ve met a lot of people over the last couple of days.”

She found this funny “It’s okay the first day at a new school can be pretty tough huh?”

“You can say that again.”

“My name’s Fran,” she said as we entered the classroom.

“Pleased to meet you Fran,” I said and she laughed along with a couple of the other kids who must have overheard. It was the accent. Daniel was right when he had told me that the girls would like it, but they also found it funny. I was already getting used to people laughing whenever I opened my mouth.

With every new class that I attended, I was confronted with the same uncertainty of knowing where to sit and I was relieved when Fran called me over and pointed to a spare desk in front of her. She was another one who I now had on my list of possible friends.

*     *     *

I wasn’t sure if I was homesick or was just missing Tom, I suspected it was the latter and it was beginning to become a problem. I had been there for almost a week and had spoken to him only twice on the phone and both for only a few very emotionally charged minutes. Now I desperately felt the need to talk to him again. Before arriving in Canada we had shared every day and night together for nearly three months so I suppose it was understandable that it was taking a bit of time for me to get used to being without him. It almost felt as though a part of me was missing, as if I had lost something important that I needed in my life. The worst thing was that I couldn’t talk about this to anyone without revealing our secret and that was something that I couldn’t do. No one would ever be able to understand the full extent of the problem, without first being able to understand the full extent of my relationship with Tom, so it was something that I would have to learn to live with.

That night I did everything that I could think of to take my mind off him, but nothing seemed to work. It was just after eight and I was lying in bed staring out of the window as yet more snow fell. I had switched off the light in Daniel’s room so I could see outside better. Watching the snowfall had a calming influence on me and I found it relaxing.

I tried to remember my timetable for tomorrow but all I knew was that I had PE directly before lunch and again it wasn’t something that I was relishing. Despite it being at least two hours before I needed to go to sleep, I decided to take advantage of the fact that I was alone in the room and change into my trusty pyjama bottoms. so far I had managed to keep myself covered up even in front of Daniel who seemed to be happiest when he had hardly anything on. I had jumped into bed and snuggled under the warm duvet and was watching the snowfall when there was a knock on the bedroom door. It was Sue and I told her to come in.

“You're in bed early, are you okay honey?”

“Yeah,” I said, “I’m just watching the snowfall we don’t get this much of it in England.”

“You’ll get used to it after a few years,” she said.

“I hope not.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to be here that long.”

She sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed where I could feel her watching me. “Are you that unhappy here?” she asked.

“No” I replied, “I just want to go home that’s all.”

She seemed a little amused by this, which I wasn’t expecting. “You haven’t even been here a week yet, honey. At least give it a chance.”

I buried my head face down in the pillow and sighed heavily.

“It’s been a bit of a strain on you starting school and adapting to everything but this is your home now honey. Eventually, you’re going to have to start accepting that.” She stroked my hair. “You’re just a little homesick; you’ll get over it, you’re a tough guy.”

“No, I’m really not,” I said as I turned over to face her. “I’m not homesick and I’m not tough either. I miss Tom.” I knew that she wouldn’t understand. “We were good mates.”

“That’s understandable dear you’re bound to miss your friends but you will make new ones over here, I promise you.”

“I suppose it’s just that I don’t think that I’ll ever…I dunno…I’ll probably never meet someone like Tom again and I don’t want to either; if that makes any sense”

“I understand, you’ve been friends for a long time,” she said.

I sat upright. “I’m sorry for sounding ungrateful all the time,” I said. “Stephenson is a really good school; it’s better than my old school. I know how lucky I am to be in this position, but I really don’t know what I want.”

“Are you sick?” Nicola cut me off as she walked in unannounced from the family room wearing a full-length pink dressing gown. She decided to switch on the light.

“He’s just a little homesick that’s all,” said Sue. “He’ll live.”

Nicola pulled up a chair and sat down next to the bed and without even thinking about it I pulled the duvet up to cover my chest. This made her laugh.

“Why are you such a prude?” she asked, “What are you so embarrassed about? Have you got an extra nipple or something that you don’t want me to see?”

It made me blush, but I really had no idea why I had suddenly felt the need to do this. I had been sitting up in bed talking to Sue without a shirt on and it hadn't bothered me at all. I hardly gave it any thought.

“Leave him alone Nicola he’s not used to people like you invading his privacy all the time,” said Sue.

“It’s okay,” I said. “Nicola’s right it is stupid I suppose.” I let go of the duvet and it fell in my lap.”

“That’s better,” said Nicola. “You’re normal after all.” I don’t think that she was quite expecting me to be so honest about it but I was in no mood to squabble with her. I didn’t see the point. She was right to think that I was strange because I was. Nicola made me nervous and I wasn’t sure why or why she was even in there other than to make me feel uncomfortable.

“Seriously Robbie, there’s no need for you to be embarrassed or feel that you have to cover up in front of us does he mom?”

“No dear” she replied. “But please don’t turn into another Daniel.”

‘No chance of that ’.

“Daniel would walk around naked if he thought that he could get away with it,” said Nicola. “Tomorrow, I’m gonna introduce you to some of my friends. Naomi is dying to meet you, you’ll like her.”

‘Can’t wait’.

“I’ve already talked to most of your friends."

“When?”

“On the phone. They keep calling, expecting to talk to you. You should let them know that you’ve changed your number.” She found it funny and apologised, but I wasn't all that bothered. I quite enjoyed talking to random girls on the phone, it made me feel wanted.

*     *     *

On Wednesday at lunch, I went to sit with Nicola to meet some of her friends. They seemed nice enough and Nicola unsurprisingly wasn’t as bossy with them as she was with us. There was a mixture of boys and girls who asked the same questions. Nicola had told them that her parents were going to adopt me and that soon I would be her brother. Nicola’s best friend was a girl named Naomi and it was her that I seemed to be talking to the most. She was quite pretty with light brown almost golden hair with dark brown eyes to match. She also had a small round nose ring, which seemed to really suit her. She asked me about my old school and how it compared with this one.

“This school is a bit more modern than my school in England."

“Did you have a girlfriend back in England?”

‘Not again’.

“No,” I said, “and I’m not gay.”

“I’ll bear that in mind," she said and she smiled sweetly at me as I looked around nervously for Nicola. “So how are you finding Cobourg?”

“I haven’t really seen enough of it to comment. I’ve only been here or at home or school, oh and shopping on Saturday.”

“Well, I’m going to warn you now. There’s really not much in the way of entertainment. Nothing much happens here you know. When you get a little older, you’ll be wishing that you had stayed in London. There’s lots to do there right?”

“I think so, but I didn’t go out a lot, I’m only fifteen.”

“Yeah I know it’s a bummer having to leave before you had a chance to party over there.”

“Well I’ve never really thought about that, but I can go back and live there when I’ve left school if I want. I still have an apartment there.”

“It sounds like you’ve got it planned. Maybe you can take me with you. I'm a fun person to have around."

'I bet you are'.

I laughed with her as the bell sounded for afternoon classes. “I’ll see you around.”

“Your right about that,” she said and as I walked away I heard her say to Nicola. “Your brother’s kinda cute.”

It made me laugh as I walked to my next class. She was barking up the wrong tree with me, but I knew it would really piss off Nicola.

When I was younger and not sure of my sexuality I used to think a lot about dating girls, but after admitting to myself that I was gay, it never even crossed my mind. I could still find girls attractive, but not really in a sexual way.

One thing that was certain though I wasn’t going to be able to remain celibate until I reached eighteen. Not now that I had tasted the forbidden fruit, it would be too much to ask.

‘If I’m going to have to stay in the closet for a couple of more years then maybe I should try my luck with the girls'.

It was something that I hadn’t even considered before now. Even if Naomi was only joking around which seemed likely? It put an idea in my head that wouldn’t go away.

*     *     *

My day was divided up into four periods or lessons punctuated by two ten minute breaks either side of a fifty-minute lunch. It was similar to England except that school started and finished slightly earlier. All students had to be in their first period classroom in time for the ritual playing of the national anthem, which was broadcast rather tackily over the address system throughout the school. This would happen every day at precisely 8.45am and would signal the start of the school day.

There were twenty periods in each school week including sport and these were divided between the twelve compulsory and optional subjects although not evenly. School finished at two-thirty although a lot of the students seemed to stay behind to attend some of the clubs or sporting activities. Daniel and his friends were keen Ice hockey players and would practice twice a week at the Cobourg Sports Centre. Although not officially a part of the school, it was less than a five-minute walk away.

Thursday was the day I had to start my after school class in math. I still wasn’t sure how this credit thing worked, but I wanted to get my high school diploma. It would have made my mom proud, and that was all the inspiration I needed.

My first class went okay. There were only six students, which allowed the teacher to spend a lot of time with me on my own. Afterwards, I met up with Daniel at the sports centre, where he was watching the school junior hockey team play their local rivals. It enabled me to get a ride home rather than wait for the local bus, and my first taste of North American fast food. The Dairy Queen specialised in ice cream and deserts and it was an instant hit with me. Don bought us all burgers but there were so many different deserts and ice creams I couldn't make up my mind. Eventually, I was saved by the young girl serving us who recognised me from school.

“You’re Robbie, right?” I nodded politely but I wasn’t sure who she was. “You’re the new guy from England,” she said. “You’re in my history class at school.”

“Oh okay. You’re?“

“Marissa,” she said.

Don gave me a knowing smile as we picked up the food and headed for the door. “Okay Marissa…I’ll see you…in history class, I guess.”

“I think that you have an admirer,” said Don.

Daniel laughed. “Yeah some of the girls in my class were asking me about you too,” he said with a cheeky grin spreading across his face.

“Well well,” said Don, “it seems that you’re a big hit with the girls here Robbie. You’ll be fighting them away soon,” he laughed. I knew that this wasn’t going to be the case. Don had seen this as an opportunity to boost my confidence and make me feel more at home. He was trying his usual best to make things work and although I appreciated it, he didn’t have to keep doing it. I had a little laugh to myself as we all climbed back into his car. He didn’t realise that being a big hit with the girls wasn’t particularly high on my list of priorities. It would have worked better for him had I been like most other fifteen-year-old boys around there.

“What were they asking you about,” I said quietly to Daniel. I was trying not to encourage him by sounding over enthusiastic while at the same time not sounding like I didn’t care, which was closer to the truth.

“They just wanted to know if you were actually my brother and if you were living with us,” he said.

“How do they know me at all?” I asked.

“Robbie, everybody knows about you in school, but I don’t know how, they just do that’s all,” he said. “It’s not like everyone’s talking about you though, it’s just that you’re the new guy and you’re not from around here. Plus there have been a few stories going around” He left it at that but I had the feeling he could have said more.

“What kind of stories?”

“Nothing bad, just the usual kids crap. Nobody really knows that much about you and I haven’t said anything to anyone.”

“Robbie, this is a small town and not much goes on here,” said Don. “You’re from England which will make you a bit more interesting than the rest. You should use this to your advantage…they’ll soon find someone else to talk about.”

I wasn’t certain in what way I should use this to my advantage, but I got the general idea.

“Are they talking about what happened to my mom?” I asked him.

“They're just interested,” he said. “They don’t mean anything bad.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “It’s not really a secret and nothing that I’m ashamed of. I don’t expect you to lie for me, if anyone asks about me, just tell them the truth.” I smiled at him to emphasize the fact that I wasn’t particularly bothered.

“You’re absolutely right about that Robbie,” said Don. “Honesty is the best policy. But seriously the kids that go to that school are not bad kids and if they know the truth then they’ll most likely respect your feelings and not ask questions that you’re not comfortable with.”

“Not all of them are good kids though dad,” said Daniel, “there are some that just go looking for trouble.”

“Okay, then most of them are good kids; we don’t have too many problems with bullying or anything like that. I work quite closely with the school and I’m also on the board of governors there so I get to see all the figures and hear any complaints.”

“Nathan was bullied for a while last year,” said Daniel. He had already told me about this boy who had been his best friend for many years and the mention of his name had me interested.

“Yes,” said Don, “he had a rough time of it for a while but he seems to be doing okay now. Nathan is a good boy but he’s had some difficulties and he hasn’t made it easy for himself.”

“Dad, he’s gay that’s all, he hasn’t had any difficulties,” he rolled his eyes and looked over to me.

“Yes I know,” Don sighed. “But I think that he would have been better off keeping it to himself at least until he left school.”

It wasn’t much but at last, I had something to work on. By the sound of it, Don wasn’t as open minded on the subject as Daniel, although probably not many people were. He didn’t sound homophobic or anything, but I could sense in his voice that he wasn’t very comfortable discussing Nathan’s difficulties as he put it. Daniel hadn’t introduced me to Nathan yet and I wondered when I’d get the chance to meet this kid.

“I don’t think that I’ve met him yet,” I said.

“He hasn’t been at school this week. He’s been sick but you’ll get to meet him soon enough and you’ll probably get on really well with him; he has a great sense of humour, he likes Monty Python.”

“Okay,” I said although I wasn’t sure what that had to do with it.

“Oh and you don’t have to worry about him being … you know gay and that. He won’t try and make a move on you or anything, if he knows that you’re straight, unless you want him too,” he said laughing towards me.

Don laughed along with him, “I think that Robbie is more of a ladies man,” he said looking and winking at me through the rear view mirror as he drove home.

I didn’t join in; instead, I turned my head quickly to look out of the window at the banks of snow piled along the side of the road. I wondered what gave Don the impression that I was a ladies man when nothing could have been further from the truth. In fact, although I had yet to meet Nathan and I didn’t even know what he looked like, I had the feeling that I wouldn’t mind in the slightest if he did make a move on me. I had to meet him soon.

Once indoors, Don wasted no time in telling Sue how the girl in the fast food place had recognised me and how I was suddenly the centre of attraction. I heard Nicola walk into the kitchen from the living room. I was certain that she would disagree with this statement.

“Dad’s right,” she said much to my bewilderment “all the girls in school think that he’s cute. Where is mister sexy pants anyway?”

I shrugged my shoulders as we walked into the kitchen.

“Well if it isn’t my little brother and little brother,” laughed Nicola. “Robbie man, all the chicks in your year are after you, do you know that?”

“No they’re not,” I replied, although for some reason I could feel myself blushing.

“Wanna bet?”

“What would they want with me?”

“Do you really need me to explain it to you?” She said. “I’ve been telling them what a nice body you have.”

“Tell me that you’re joking, please,” I said. Daniel was laughing.

“I’m trying to help you here Robbie.”

“How are you doing that?”

“I’m helping you to lose your virginity,” said Nicola and that brought a reprimand from both Don and Sue.

“What makes you think…?”

“Oh come on get real Robbie, I know that you’re a virgin,” she said cutting me off. “You’re acting like one now. If you want I can fix you up with a hot date,” she said in her sultry voice looking me directly in the eyes.

“Can you fix me up with someone?” asked Daniel.

“No way, you’re not old enough and it’s Robbie they want not you,” she said.

“It’s not fair,” said Daniel to me “You’ve been at school less than a week and you’re already more popular than I am and I’ve been there six months.” He was pulling a pretend sulky face at me and I jokingly put my arm around his shoulder and gave him a gentle hug.

“Poor Daniel he has no friends,” I said. He gave me a sideways look and smiled.

It should have been obvious to me that the plan I had originally made of keeping a low profile in this school was never going to work. Don was right; Cobourg was a small town where everybody seemed to know everybody else. The locals easily identified strangers in this town and the same rule applied to the local High School. I had hoped to be able to start school anonymously but soon realised that this was never going to happen. In fact rather than keeping a low profile, I was actually fast attaining a celebrity status. Fran had told me on my first day that news travels fast around here and it was becoming clear that I was the news that everyone was talking about. Most of the staff and students seemed to believe that the Taylor family had adopted me, which was technically untrue at least for the time being. By the end of that week Nicola, Daniel and Fran had all introduced me to their friends and classmates but it was going to be impossible for me to remember all of their names and faces. Daniel was right I was becoming popular but it wasn’t through choice and once everyone realised that I really wasn’t that cool, I was sure my popularity would plummet.

I actually started to enjoy the extra attention, although I wasn’t comfortable with strangers knowing about my private life, even if most of it wasn’t totally true.

Some of the older kids actually made a point of approaching me in the cafeteria to introduce themself. It was nice of them to do this except that it followed by the same questions that I never wanted to answer like ‘what happened to your real parents’? These were questions that I would not have been prepared to discuss with my closest friends let alone strangers, so I would answer them with whatever came into my head at the time. This soon turned into my own little joke and each time my answers became ever more ridiculous. After just one week at Stephenson, there were some kids who believed that my dad was in prison after murdering my mother. I told others that they had both been killed in a plane crash and one kid was horrified to learn that my parents were in prison for trying to kill me.

“They were injecting arsenic into my lunch.” I said. “But the school found out after I got sick. Now they're each serving four life sentences.” The kid was a bit confused. “They killed my older brother and sister and chopped up the bodies, they're serial killers, proper loons.”

Each time I would ask them not to tell anyone, knowing that they would do the opposite.

There were others at school that seemed to view me with a certain amount of suspicion. Like I was some kind of a threat to them or something. Some would just stare at me, which made me feel nervous. Others whenever I walked past them would turn and whisper something to their friends. They were rednecks according to Nicola, but I thought it unlikely that anyone would be able to get a red neck in Canada, except from the extreme cold.

If there were any advantages to all of this, I guessed that if most of the students knew who I was before I had even met them, it would make it easier for me to start making friends. Therefore, it was that as my first week at school ended I probably had more so called friends at this school than I had had at either of my two previous schools. One of these kids was Fran with whom I was sharing 10 of my 14 classes. She was fast becoming the first real close friend that I would make on my own in Canada.