Disasters, Delights and Other Detours - 9. Skyscrapers, or Sept Lignes

43 minutes ago, dughlas said:

Another form that seems to lend itself to your talents. I like what you have done with these. The first seems to flow then slow. The second wraps itself about the reader as a warm embrace.

Thank you, Dugh. These were fun to try, yet harder to sustain than I originally thought. I appreciate your generous comments. 

38 minutes ago, Valkyrie said:

I really like these.  I especially relate to the second.  Virtual hugs, while not as nice as in-person hugs, can be just as soothing and meaningful.   

I agree about hugs. I will take them in any form, from anyone. Thanks especially for yours. I’m glad you like these; perhaps a second round would be a good idea?

I've written a few of these for Mojo, so it's nice you've taken up the new form

On the first on, I realize the intent of the poem, and think it's super smooth and polished, but I immediately thought of another east-west travel feeling. How when one flies east on a plane, time seems to fly and you get to your destination quicker. On the other hand, flying west always takes more time, and soon becomes a real drag on the spirit. That's my impression anyway.

On the second one, I'm pretty confident the online hug-ee for whom this poem was intended appreciates it very, very much. 

Great job on promoting the new Skyscraper form. 

2 hours ago, AC Benus said:

I've written a few of these for Mojo, so it's nice you've taken up the new form

 

On the first on, I realize the intent of the poem, and think it's super smooth and polished, but I immediately thought of another east-west travel feeling. How when one flies east on a plane, time seems to fly and you get to your destination quicker. On the other hand, flying west always takes more time, and soon becomes a real drag on the spirit. That's my impression anyway.

 

On the second one, I'm pretty confident the online hug-ee for whom this poem was intended appreciates it very, very much. 

 

Great job on promoting the new Skyscraper form. 

I think your observations on flying from east to west are quite accurate. I failed to see that. Of course, perhaps flying from east to west entails carrying some of those heavy, ponderous eastern miles along the way, making it slower. And for the second poem, I am an advocate for hugs in whatever form they might take.

Thank you for your comments on these experiments in the the Skyscraper form! I am enjoying getting the feel for lines like these.

3 hours ago, BlindAmbition said:

Very well done Parker. I love this form. 
I relate so well to 1. I'm a Jersey boy who has been on the west coast for 13 years. The pace and attitude couldn't be anymore different. My east coast roots will always be my pace. Pulled me right in with that one. 

Thank you, Jp. I am glad these resonated with you. I was simply struck by driving out west and driving home in the east; the experience was so different.  And as for the second, well, I think hugs of all kinds are good. Just had to say so...

4 hours ago, Headstall said:

I loved them both, Parker... the first flows well... the second gave me pause... making me realize the virtual hug is probably even more beneficial to the giver in some cases. I really like the form... I may give it a try one day  

Thank you, Gary.  I am glad you thought the first flowed. Your reaction to the second interested me; I think what you say could be very true. But I wrote it because I have experienced the wonderful kindness of strangers here, and the reality of support. It can be very comforting. I appreciate your thoughtful response, and I am glad this form appealed to you.

Hmm ... I think I might give this a go sometime, though, if you found it somewhat tricky, what hope do I have?    

I liked the first one very much - it made me think and smile. The second one - I wish there was a neutral form of 'brotherhood', but still, the sentiments are absolutely spot-on. Well done, dear friend. 

1 minute ago, northie said:

Hmm ... I think I might give this a go sometime, though, if you found it somewhat tricky, what hope do I have?    

I liked the first one very much - it made me think and smile. The second one - I wish there was a neutral form of 'brotherhood', but still, the sentiments are absolutely spot-on. Well done, dear friend. 

Thank you! I am glad the first made you smile, and that the second might have some currency. The tricky part will be sustaining a full idea through 12 syllables in the middle. It was for me, anyhow. Your generous comments make be blush. 

Loved both of these, Parker. The second, especially, resonates. 

Very well done. 

On November 7, 2017 at 10:04 AM, Defiance19 said:

Loved both of these, Parker. The second, especially, resonates. 

Very well done. 

Thank you for reading these. They are a first effort at a form that is new to me. That you liked them is very encouraging!