The Cockney Canuck - 89. Chapter 89 The Invincibles

Daniel woke me up just after eight and I stumbled around the room looking for something to wear.

"How are you feeling?"

I felt a bit queasy but I didn't know why. "Do I have to go somewhere today?"

"I don't think so," said Daniel. "Maybe you should lie down and get some more sleep."

"But you just woke me up?"

"I was worried about you.”

“Why?” I sat down on the bed and held my delicate head in my hands.

Daniel stood next to me and tapped me on the shoulder. He was holding the bottle of Tylenol. “These are serious painkillers dude; where did you get these?”

“I found them in the toilet, bathroom, whatever.”

“Well, you’re not supposed to take them for a headache dude and definitely not three at the same time. They’re prescription only; dad was given these when he hurt his back. I’ve looked them up online. You’re only supposed to take one every four hours, dude or six in a day, you should read the label before you start popping pills like that.”

I wiped my face and groaned as I remembered the dream, waking up in the night and the headache. "I'm sorry for waking you up last night."

“Robbie, they could also have killed you.” He looked serious and I thought it was sweet of him to be worried about me, but it was unnecessary.

"But they didn't. Look, I'm still alive." I stood up a little precariously and put my arms around him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm giving you a hug. I love you, Daniel." He wasn’t the hugging type though. He squirmed out of my grasp and retreated over to his side of the room with a faint smile.

“I love you too dude,” he said. “But I would prefer it if we could love each other from a distance.” He made me laugh. Daniel was never scared to talk about his feelings and he rarely if ever lied to anyone. I admired those traits and was often jealous of his uncomplicated approach to life. "Are you okay?"

"A little tired."

"You can go back to sleep, dude. I'll leave you alone and make tell Amy to be quiet. I almost woke mom up last night, I was so worried.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

“I was watching you for ages making sure that you were still breathing.”

“You were watching me sleep?”

“It sounds weird, I know but I was worried about you. You cheated death once already this year, but you're not invincible. Geez, I shouldn’t have bothered, I could have thought of better things to be doing at five in the morning.”

I felt officially reprimanded and backed down. "I'm sorry I scared you. Thanks for looking out for me. I mean it. I don't deserve family like you."

"Whatever." He watched me climb back into bed before switching off the light. "I'll let you sleep."

Later that morning after a shower and some breakfast, I passed Daniel on the stairs and gave him an apologetic grin.

“Are you still mad at me?”

“It’s not funny Robbie. Don’t ever do that again, okay. I won’t say anything to mom, but I don’t wanna wake up and find you dead one day. I’m not mad at you.” He smiled and then pushed my arm away as I tried to give him another hug. “And stop trying to grope me all the time,” he said, but he was laughing as he jogged up the stairs.

* * * * *

Thursday came around too quickly to my liking, but the interview at the court was, as Don had promised, just a formality. It was the journey to and from the courthouse that provided the biggest test. Twenty minutes alone in the car with him—a captive audience for his heterosexual propaganda—was a daunting proposition, but my concerns, in the end, proved unwarranted.

He seemed to be more nervous than I was, which boosted my confidence and made me realise how much power I still had over him. I don’t know whether he was actually expecting me to embarrass him with a last-minute U-turn, but he seemed more comfortable on the way back, once he realised I hadn’t objected. He should have known that was never going to happen.

Even during the worst of times, I never really considered using it against him. I thought it would probably hurt me more than him. I didn’t want to throw away the only chance that I would ever have of being part of a real family, something that I had always wanted but never thought possible. I wouldn’t have chosen it over my mom, but refusing it, wasn’t going to bring her back and I regarded this opportunity almost as compensation for losing her.

Don and Sue weren’t ideal parents, but they were the only ones on offer and I would have been stuck with them, whatever my decision. I didn’t really have a choice as far as they were concerned but there was an opportunity for me to have Daniel, Nicola, and Amy as my siblings and I didn’t want to pass that up.

Now that I had surrendered the opt-out clause, the adoption would go ahead as planned the day before my sixteenth birthday. I would have to go back to the courthouse with Don and Sue but it would be merely a formality. There was little doubt it would be granted.

The court official had given me a little handbook to read. It was titled, ‘getting to know your new family’ and filled with useless tips on how to adjust to new parents and siblings. It was written for much younger kids than me, in easy to follow text, accompanied by cartoon drawings of happy children with their equally happy new families. It was a ‘one size fits all’ type pamphlet, half in French and half in English, with various racial combinations but nothing that addressed any of my issues. I was pretending to read it during the drive home, to keep Don from talking to me, but I might have known better.

“I was thinking maybe you would like to go out someplace for your birthday over the long weekend? You could bring a couple of friends.” I looked at him suspiciously waiting for the catch.

“Out where?”

“Well, I was thinking, maybe Niagara Falls?”

He knew how much I wanted to go there and he had been promising since the day that I arrived, but recent events had taken the gloss off it somewhat. I wanted to know who I was allowed to take.

“What friends do you mean?”

“That’s up to you. It’s your birthday. We can fit seven in the car; I doubt if Nicola will want to go, but Amy and Daniel probably will, so you can ask up to three friends if you want. How about Rory, you don’t see much of him lately?”

“Rory’s been away on holiday, but I suppose I can ask him, but only if Nathan’s allowed to come with us.” I thought that I’d get it out there from the very beginning and I was proud of myself for doing so. That would be my only condition. I wouldn’t go if he was excluded.

“You can choose whoever you want Robbie, I just told you that.”

It was more than I expected to be doing on my birthday and if Nathan was allowed, then it sounded like a good idea, although I was sure Don would have preferred him not to be there.

Sixteen was an important birthday for me, I could learn to drive and legally have sex, although I wasn’t expecting any changes to Don’s draconian rules regarding the latter unless of course, I decided to go straight.

I was convinced that this was all part of his big plan to lure me back into the fold and away from evil clutches of the perverted Nathan. If that had ever happened, I was sure I could have brought home a different girl every night and he wouldn’t have said anything. He would probably have carved out the notches on my headboard for me, before proudly bragging about my conquests over his dinner parties with the chief of police.

I could have fathered countless illegitimate children and handed out on STD’s like candy at Halloween, and Don would have been as proud as punch. The only criteria seemed to be that they had to be female.

In the two weeks that followed our little chat, despite several choice opportunities, Don had steered well clear of the subject of my sexuality. I wasn’t sure whether this was some kind of truce until after the adoption order had been signed, or if he had simply lost interest for a while, but there was no indication he was about to relax his house rules regarding Nathan.

He had made it clear that it was to be his way or no way at all, but to enforce his strictly no touching regulations required the co-operation of his children, and unsurprisingly, it wasn’t something they wanted to do.

When Don and Sue were at work, they relied heavily on Nicola to run the house. She was left in charge and had the responsibility of making sure nothing untoward happened behind their backs. This plan was seriously flawed. Earlier in the year she probably would have relished the opportunity to derail my love life, but by doing so now, would have created a conflict of interest, and she was happy to make a deal with me.

I had been following her relationship with Jimmy for some time and lately, it was obvious they had reached another level. I noticed she was staying out much later than usual and occasionally, she wouldn’t come home at all. I wasn’t sure what kind of curfew she was under or if she even had one, but she was still only seventeen with a year remaining at school. When I asked Sue for the same rights, I was met by a brick wall.

“Nicola has to live by the same rules as everybody else,” she said.

“No she doesn’t; she’s allowed to have a boyfriend and they even sit together when they’re watching TV.” Sue found this funny but she was either missing or ignoring the sarcasm.

“She’s older than you, Robbie, you have to remember that.”

Nicola was a year and seven months older than me, but I was certain if Nathan and I were still together in a year and a half, they wouldn’t be as relaxed as they were with Nicola and Jimmy.

I had walked in on them snogging in the living room more than once, and I didn’t want to think about what they were doing upstairs in her room when Sue was at work. Just to be safe, whenever that happened, Daniel or I would turn up the volume on the television. Listening to Nicola and her boyfriend doing naughties would have been the very last thing I wanted to hear, although for Daniel it may have been the second from last thing.

I was full of admiration for the way he had been able to deal with me dating his best friend, but I didn’t want to ruin any of this good work by rubbing it in. He had, after all, shown a great deal of maturity with little or no real parental guidance to fall back on, and the more I thought about it, the more I loved him for it.

Unlike Don and Sue, I respected Daniel enough not to want to make him feel uncomfortable, so when Nathan was there, I kept my distance and treated him like a friend.

It was an approach which soon began to pay dividends as Daniel, no doubt appreciative of our efforts, ensured my undying love by allowing us some unexpected alone time. Nothing was said but during that week, he made himself scarce more than once when Nathan was there, and the day before my appointment at the court, he volunteered to take Amy to the park for an hour. That wasn’t an easy task and something he usually wouldn’t have done even if Sue had offered to pay him. His hour turned into an hour-and-a-half, and when they did come back, he deliberately made enough noise coming in to wake the dead.

I thought it was sweet of him, but Nathan and I had put our clothes back on, straightened our hair, and were back in front of the television long before an exhausted-looking Amy came downstairs to sit between us. So much for Don’s new house rules. He obviously hadn’t done his homework.

* * * * *

The following week, summer was put on temporary hold as a band of unseasonably wet weather swept across Southern Ontario. We had three days of thunderstorms with torrential downpours that threatened to flood parts of the town, but the wet weather brought a new kind of torture.

The humidity was intense, almost unbearable and with no air-con in the basement, I was forced to join Daniel in the nearly naked club. With a t-shirt lasting no more than an hour before being covered in sweat, swimming shorts were the order of the day, and any hang-ups that I may have had about showing a bit of skin had to be put on hold.

Sue insisted that we wore tops when we were upstairs, but other than that, no one seemed to be particularly bothered by my lack of clothing. I even followed Daniel’s lead by sleeping in the same shorts at night, which meant that we didn’t have to get changed at all. In an unofficial record attempt, Daniel and I had managed to go nearly three days wearing only one item of clothing before Sue caught on to our antics and ordered us to change.

* * * * *

On Thursday, the storms settled and the temperature and humidity dropped, making clothes a viable option as I headed across town to see a friend. No one asked me where I was going and they probably assumed that I was be meeting up with Nathan, but for once my boyfriend could wait.

I had made plans to visit someone else that day. Someone who I had promised to see weeks ago, but never got around to it. I was spurred on by the new Premier League season, which had kicked off the previous weekend in England and I went prepared with a bag of goodies that I knew would be appreciated.

I called Jamie the day before to make sure that he was going to be at home, so it wasn’t a surprise but he was thrilled with the bag of Arsenal memorabilia that I had brought for him and the hug he gave me was priceless.

It was nice seeing him out of bed and dressed like a normal kid for a change, in jeans and a t-shirt. He looked much better and far from the feeble looking boy in the hospital, who had to wheel around a bottle of oxygen almost as big as himself.

“Are you sure you don’t want to keep these?” he said and then gasped as he opened up a poster of the invincibles of 2004. “Oh my God, this was my favourite team, no one could beat them.”

I was nine years old when they became the first team to go through an entire season unbeaten and that poster had been on my wall up until the day that I moved out.

“It’s just been folded in my drawer since I got to Canada. I was gonna throw it out.”

“No,” he said clutching it to his chest and pulling a sad face.

“But I figured that you might want it, instead.” I was right and he proved it to me by insisting on pinning it above his bed straight away.

I think what I liked most about this boy was his intense enthusiasm for things that other kids, including myself, took for granted. It was contagious and I couldn’t help but be excited with him.

“This is so cool,” he said.

“Well, there’s one more thing, something for the winter, because I know how cold it gets here.”

His face lit up with expectation as I reached into my bag and pulled out a scarf.

“Not just any scarf, this is my lucky Arsenal scarf. The scarf I wore when I went with my friend to watch them beat Liverpool last year. It’s never let me down and now it’s yours.”

“You're giving me your lucky scarf?”

“Yeah, I’m not much of a fan anymore, so I think that you’ll get more use out of it than me.”

“I’ve never even been to a game,” he said. “And I probably won't ever be able to.” It was the first negative statement that I had heard from him and even though it was almost certainly the truth, it took me by surprise. I wasn’t sure how to respond.

I remember when my mom was dying and everyone lying to me, trying to tell me that she was going to be okay. I could see for myself that she was deteriorating and I knew that nobody came out of those wards alive, but no one would admit it to me and that hurt. I didn’t want to be one of those people; Jamie knew that he was dying, he knew his illness better than anyone.

“It doesn’t matter whether you go there or not,” I said. “It doesn’t make you any less of a supporter. They have fans all over the world. I’ve only been to see them play a couple of times.”

“I bet it was fun though; I would like to have done that, just the once.” I wasn’t prepared for this. For the first time since we met, I was able to get a glimpse of his pain. It was almost like he dropped his guard just for a second, maybe on purpose to show me something that I already knew. I wasn’t prepared for it and I had to bite down as hard as I could on my lip to stop myself from tearing up.

‘That’s the last thing he needs’.

I didn’t want this to be an emotional visit or sad in any way. I had gone there to cheer him up and make him feel good. I needed to think quickly.

“It was fun during the game,” I said, “because we won, but it wasn’t a nice atmosphere. There were fights outside the stadium and police on horseback pushing into the crowds. They closed the nearest underground station because of overcrowding, and we had to walk most of the way home in the rain. You're better off watching the games on TV, believe me.”

“That sounds really bad. I’m gonna wear this scarf when I watch them play Blackpool on Saturday,” he said. I didn’t even know who they were playing on Saturday, so I guess the scarf was in the right hands now.

“You're lucky because, in England, you probably wouldn’t even be able to watch the game on TV.”

“Why not?”

“I dunno, but they only show a couple of live games a week and you have to pay extra for that. Most times it’s not even your team that’s playing.”

“That stinks.”

“I know, things always look better someplace else, but it’s not always the way.”

“So you don’t miss England then?”

“Sometimes, but I’m getting used to things over here now.”

“Will you ever go back?”

“No, I don’t think so, maybe for a holiday when I’m older, we’ll see.”

“You wouldn’t want to leave your boyfriend, would you?”

I had forgotten that Jamie had met Nathan at the hospital, and he knew about us. He squinted at me and gave me a cheeky smile.

‘I can’t believe this kid’s making me blush’.

“Probably not,” I said. “But my life is here now and in a couple of weeks I’m gonna be adopted.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I know it sounds crazy but it’s true. I have to change my name and everything.”

“So you're not gonna be Robbie anymore?”

“What? No, you daft git, my surname.” I thought it was funny. In some ways, Jamie was so grown up, but at times, I had to remind myself that he was still only twelve.

“That will be exciting, can I come?”

“Oh, it’s not gonna be like a wedding or anything, I just have to go to the courthouse and that’s it really. We’re not gonna celebrate…it’s not really like that.” I felt awful saying that to him and watching his excited face drop. Like something else had been taken away from him. Another disappointment and I had to bite my lip again.

I spent most of the afternoon with Jamie and we were laughing for the best part of it. He showed me his room and I helped him put up his new posters before he beat me on the PlayStation, and I was really trying my best to win.

I left him wrapped in his new scarf, sitting on his bed below the poster of the invincibles and I noticed the irony for the first time. His mom followed me outside to talk to me on the driveway.

“Thank you for coming to see Jamie. He was so excited after you called yesterday. He really thinks of you as a friend.”

“But I am his friend,” I said. “Maybe he can come over to my house one day and meet my family. He can stay over if he wants. It’ll be fine with my aunt and uncle. Jamie knows my aunt already, she’s a nurse at the hospital.” I was probably a little too enthusiastic but being around Jamie made me feel that way.

His mom thought it was cool but I got the feeling that she wasn’t going to allow him to sleepover just yet. “He can come over for the day if you want to arrange it with your parents.”

I suddenly had a much better idea. “Would Jamie be allowed to come with us to Niagara Falls? I’m going there over the Labour Day weekend, it’s my birthday and my uncle said I could take three friends.”

“I don’t know, it’s a long way.”

She seemed a little sceptical at first but I could see a chink in her armour and exploited it the best that I could. To me, it seemed like a perfect idea.

“My uncle will be driving and Jamie has already met my other friends at the hospital. We would take good care of him, I promise.”

“I know dear, let me think about it. He’s never been there before and I’m sure he would love it, but you should ask your uncle first.”

“He said I could take anybody I want, and I really want him to go. I’ve never seen them either, it’ll be fun.”

“He has special needs and your uncle may not want that responsibility.”

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll talk to him first and call you if that’s okay, or maybe I can get him to call you.”

“That would be best,” she said and she looked really happy when I left and even shook my hand. “Thank you, Robbie. You’re a good friend to Jamie. I know that he would love to go, but I’ll wait to talk to your uncle before I say anything.” That was all I wanted to hear, the rest was down to me and I knew that I could make it happen. I had enough power over Don to guarantee it.

As I walked away, I stopped and turned back, calling after her. There was something that I had to say that was bothering me, and it couldn’t wait.

“Err…I’m not doing this because I feel sorry for your Jamie. Well, I do feel sorry for him, of course, but that’s not why I invited him. I just think it would be cool if he came along, that’s all.”

She had tears in her eyes and it made me feel bad that I had upset her.

‘Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything’.

It was a difficult situation but despite the age difference, there was something about Jamie that made me want to be his friend and I was sure that it would have been the same even if he wasn’t ill.

* * * * *

I was on a mission and the minute I got home, I went to search for Don. He was in the garden with Daniel, which wasn’t good. They were working, cutting grass and stuff, which looked laborious and painful. If I showed my face at such a time, there was a good possibility that they would ask me to help them, but Don was in a surprisingly good mood. I would strike while the iron was hot, as my mom always used to say.

“Are you still gonna take us to Niagara Falls?” I asked.

“Yes, that’s the plan.”

“Definitely?”

“Yes, if that’s what you want.”

“Can I take my friend Jamie from the hospital. He’s sick. Well he’s not sick but he’s got an illness and he’s dying, but he’s a really nice kid. Sue knows him, she’ll tell you. He’s got Cystic Fibrosis.”

“Whoa, slow down a minute and start again, you’ve totally lost me.”

Don was unwilling to give me an answer until he talked to Sue about it, he said that he needed to make sure that we wouldn’t be risking Jamie’s health by taking him and thought that we should contact the hospital as well. He did promise though that if there were no objections then it wouldn’t be a problem and the stage was set.

I knew that it would be fine or his mom would never have agreed to it, but interfering Sue insisted on talking to Jamie’s doctor first, before calling me from work the next day at a very inopportune moment.

“I thought that you would want to know right away,” she said. “So you can invite him.”

“Thanks, I will but I’m in the middle of a game at the moment and it’s kinda awkward.” I glanced upwards to look at Nathan, who was trying hard not to laugh, before giving him another quick couple of strokes.

“I might have known,” she said. “There are other things you can do other than playing games all day, you know?”

“Yeah, but they’re not nearly as fun,” I said and then kept the phone to my ear as I gently dragged my tongue over across the shiny top of his dick.

“I’ll leave you to it then.”

“What time will you be home?” I wasn’t really thinking about what I was saying at that point. I was too busy studying my boyfriend’s penis, fascinated by the amount of fluid that oozed from the top as I squeezed it upwards.

“The same time as always Robbie, three o’clock.”

“Oh, yeah, err, just checking. Err bye.” I looked at my watch before burying my face in his crotch and making him yelp. It was still only ten minutes to two.

While I played games with Nathan in the bedroom, Daniel was out skateboarding with Doug, and Nicola was upstairs baking a cake with Amy. I knew that she wouldn’t disturb us or allow Amy to either, just like I knew to keep Amy occupied and not venture upstairs when she was in her room with Jimmy. It was the kind of collaboration that would have had Don choking on his sushi and pulling out what was left of his rapidly diminishing hair.

* * * * *

The next morning, I was up early ready to hound Don, the moment he came downstairs. I got him to call Jamie’s mom and then waited to hear from the boy himself. He called me straight away; almost too excited to talk. It sounded as if he was jumping, I could hear his mom telling him to sit down. His enthusiasm went straight to my head and I found myself nearly jumping with him as I paced the living room. We talked for ages until he ran out of steam and I told him that I would see him next week.

I rarely bothered to watch any of the televised Arsenal games anymore but that day, with the basement to myself, I decided to check the score. Arsenal were beating Blackpool 6-0, and I watched the last few minutes, before punching the air in celebration, just like I used to with Tom.

‘Looks like Jamie’s lucky scarf is working already’.

If there was anyone who needed a bit of luck, it was him.