Have you told your family/spouce /friends

[Marzipan]

Hi!

 

I just wondered are you out with your stories? How did they take it?

 

Me, well I have told my closest friends what I have written and what I read. One of them told her hubby too and all are fine. My gals think I'm a weirdo and love me the way I am. Lucky me, they support me 100%. One of them even joined GA to get more involved in my life (the one with the teasing hubby).

 

My mum knows that I'm obsessive online writer-reader but thinks I write fantacy (in a way I do, lol).

 

I want to tell a dear friend of mine, but I don't wanna scare him. I feel I'm holding back something important fom him... He's gay and in closet to everyone else but me and I really really don't wanna him thinking I'm gonna jump on him! I'm visiting him as we speek. What do you think? Is he gonna freak out...?

[Marzipan]

Hi!

 

I just wondered are you out with your stories? How did they take it?

 

Me, well I have told my closest firends what I have written and what I read. One of them told her hubby too and all are fine. My gals think I'm a weirdo and love me the way I am. Lucky me, they support me 100%. One of them even joined GA to get more involved in my life (the one with the teasing hubby).

 

My mum knows that I'm obsessive online writer-reader but thinks I write fantacy (in a way I do, lol).

 

I want to tell a dear friend of mine, but I don't wanna scare him. I feel I'm holding back something important fom him... He's gay and in closet to everyone else but me and I really really don't wanna him thinking I'm gonna jump on him! I'm visiting him as we speek. What do you think? Is he gonna freak out...?

 

 

And this topic was of course met to be on the writers forum, sorryy!!!!!!!!!!

[Graeme]

It's been moved

 

Personally, I've told my wife and she writes most of what I write (I print them all off for her, but sometimes she's too busy to read them). I've also told the one friend I'm out to and given him the link to my stories.

 

Otherwise, I haven't told anyone.

[JamesSavik]

Why do you write? Do you need affirmation?

 

Do they need to know or do you need them to know?

[Marzipan]

Why do you write? Do you need affirmation?

 

Do they need to know or do you need them to know?

 

 

Really good questions! Who needs to know? I'm personally happy without knowing the things i don't know --> brain meltdown coming...

 

Beats me... I'm not good having secret with the my loved ones, I'm good at bending the truth :wacko: Don't wanna do that either in important stuff.

 

Writing is a form of entertainment and fun. And also getting stuff out of my guts. I'm not embarrassed by it and actually I kinda also test my friends acceptance. Green flags so far!

[Tipdin]

Everyone who knows me, knows almost everything about me. I'm an open book. There are very few things in this world that are inherently shameful, and I do not assign shame to anything done in an honorable fashion. Writing stories with gay characters, even writing erotica is not a shameful thing.

 

I write for me. If others enjoy what I write, so much the better.

Edited February 5, 2011 by Tipdin

[Cia]

I've told some of my friends and some of my family. It's hard to explain what I've been up to about writing when they ask if I don't tell them I write slash. I do feel dishonest. My husband is always asking me if I feel ashamed or something, that sometimes feels negative from him, but he often reads what I write. One of my sisters called me a freak and other than my best friend of 23 years no one has been enthusiastic in my real life. I do it anyway. I enjoy writing and if I want to write slash, well, I will. I don't mind being a freak

[Marzipan]

I don't mind being a freak

 

My kinda freak! Hon you are the best I think everyone have something weird in their lives, most of us just don't feel comfortable sharing it to anyone.

 

It feels so good to get some acceptance from someone close, but then again, we do get more of it here, don't we? And it's really the peer's appreciation that counts.

[Dark]

Writing is a form of entertainment and fun. And also getting stuff out of my guts. I'm not embarrassed by it and actually I kinda also test my friends acceptance.

You shouldn't need to "test" your friends. On the other hand, what you've written sounds like something you should tell your friend: "Hey, Bob, you know I write for fun, right? Well, I haven't told you everything about that and now I feel like I'm keeping a secret from you." Then ask him if he wants to know.

 

Personally, there's 2 people IRL who know I write in this genre and neither of them are blood-related to me. We also don't live in the same state although we've gotten together and hung out before. I might tell my brother some day because he's a writer too, but our relationship has gotten strained over the past couple years and I don't know if this is something I want to share with him (due to some things he's done and gone to prison for, not because we're not supportive of each other's writing). My sister confessed this past summer to liking Yaoi comics, so I might tell her. I'd never tell my parents or my other brother if I have the choice about it, because they're homophobes. I've gotten into many arguments with them about gay topics over the years -- one of the many reasons I'm not very close with them.

 

I write for me and me alone. If there's one person out there who likes what I've done, then I'm happy. If there's me and one other person I feel blessed that something I wrote spoke to someone else. I don't think I'm ashamed, but more like this is still a very personal journey I'm taking and I don't feel ready to share. I don't know that I ever will.

[Cia]

I'd never tell my parents or my other brother if I have the choice about it, because they're homophobes. I've gotten into many arguments with them about gay topics over the years -- one of the many reasons I'm not very close with them.

 

 

 

Yes! This is why I have not told my parents, any of the 4 of them. I have told my mother in law oddly enough. But my dad is the only parent I have I'm close to and he's a redneck and not exactly open minded. Like you, I've learned that it's just upsetting to me if I argue and they never change their minds anyway. So I keep my freakiness to myself. Thanks Marzipan, btw. You're my kind of freak too!

[Marzipan]

You shouldn't need to "test" your friends. On the other hand, what you've written sounds like something you should tell your friend: "Hey, Bob, you know I write for fun, right? Well, I haven't told you everything about that and now I feel like I'm keeping a secret from you." Then ask him if he wants to know.

 

 

 

Heh, he thoughed I write lesbian stories, so I decided just to leave him a link before I go home. He's cool, not gonna be around when he opens it though or it's gonna be too embarrassing He can do what ever he wants with this new info of me.

 

Why shouldn't I test people? I do it all the time It's fun (or not) and show their true colors. And mine too, for that matter. I don't do it secretly, I give them opportunity to speak their mind. And if things turn out the way I wouldn't like, well then I know not to vaste my time on them (speaking in general).

[Kavrik]

My family and my short list of friends know but they've never read any of them. Most of my friends either don't read, period or if they happen to read, they want the stuff that has all the hetoro "annointing" of underage females ala George R.R. Martin and his Game of Thrones hetero fantasy of powerful men and the women that accomplish things only when done so surreptitiously. I tried to argue with my friend James that GRRM was so cliche in that manner by having yet again, more females that have to be conniving bitches behind the backs of their men. His response was, "yeah but that's the way the world is. It's so wonderful."

 

Meh...I'm just gonna look forward to seeing the HBO series. At least then it'll be bulging muscles that my eyes can enjoy.

[Zolia Lily]

I've told 2 friends IRL so far.

One was so shocked her eyes nearly bulged out of her head... but she's supportive. I don't think she'd ever read any of it though. I think she struggled to understand why i write what i write.

The other friend simply looked at me and said "so why haven't you given any of it to me to read yet?". I sent her one of my big ones to read, and she said it was better than anything else i'd given her to read... (even though the sex parts were awkward - lol!) but i still didn't get massive enthusiastic vibes off her or anything.

 

Not sure about telling the others. I have a couple that, while not homophobic, are a bit conservative. And a couple more who i think may be positive. But i do want everyone to know eventually. I want to be myself around them without having to worry about the friend i told who isn't very good at keeping secrets... or worrying about how they'll react. On one level, i just want to know and move on.

 

It's my mum i'm not sure about. I'm not as close to my dad and he probably wouldn't care, as long as he didn't have to be involved. But my mum i feel like i'm being dishonest with. I've taken time off study and work this year to write, and i feel like i should tell her the truth. I talk a lot about a couple of the friends i've made online, too... and it has all become such a big part of my life that not telling feels like a lie of omission. She isn't homophobic and is generally supportive... but she can be really quick to judge sometimes- especially other women. I'm afraid she would see what i write as something shameful or strange... I mean, i'm not degrading anyone at all, let alone myself, and i really really don't think i'm flying in the face of any feminism, or undermining women's rights or whatever... but i'm not sure how she'll see it.

 

I think i'm going to give her the story i'm writing with a mainstream audience in mind (with gay main characters) and gauge her reaction from there.....

 

 

[Altimexis]

I told my wife about my story writing at the same time I came out to her, but I hadn't even posted my first one back then. That was five years ago. She's not exactly comfortable with my writing and even though she's accepted my sexuality, I think she'd rather pretend it doesn't exist and my writing doesn't allow her to do that. The one and only story she's read is my coming out story, The New Job, which she edited. I've since tried sending her some of my better stories - the ones with minimal or no sexual content - but she never gets around to reading them. I have a gay nephew and I'd love to share my writing with him, but I made a promise to my wife that I would keep my public and private lives separate, even to family. What can I say - she's paranoid. There are actually small clues in some of my writing that would allow anyone who knows me personally to figure out who wrote them, but that's as far as I'm willing to go. I take my promises seriously, including the vows I took 25 years ago.

[Jdare123]

Not sure if I can add to this because most of my writing is never posted because I truly do it for myself and I keep it private. However I have been thinking of maybe posting some things on-line. But I would still keep it private to my real life friends and family because if I don't, then I think I would censor my stories according to their sensibilities and they would not be the same.

[Marzipan]

Not sure if I can add to this because most of my writing is never posted because I truly do it for myself and I keep it private. However I have been thinking of maybe posting some things on-line. But I would still keep it private to my real life friends and family because if I don't, then I think I would censor my stories according to their sensibilities and they would not be the same.

 

 

Hello Jdare123! Welcome to GA! This is a good site to post your stories, friendly place. I'd be happy to read your stories. And happy to hear your thoughts in discussions too

 

If you and the rest of the peeps are not happy/able or willing to discuss their stories irl, we have a friendly enviroment here.

[Nephylim]

I am with Tipdin. I am a complete open book. Anyone who knows me knows everything about me...no that's not true; you will have to have known me quite a long time to know EVERYTHING just because it takes some time to get out.

 

 

My daughter has read one of my stories and kind of liked it but, being a lesbian she doesn;t really apprecaite to many penises in one story and then only when they're well tucked in so I don't think she will read any more It did inspire her to start writing her own though. My work colleagues, friends blah blah, whoever asks gets to read.

 

 

[Cia]

I told my wife about my story writing at the same time I came out to her, but I hadn't even posted my first one back then. That was five years ago. She's not exactly comfortable with my writing and even though she's accepted my sexuality, I think she'd rather pretend it doesn't exist and my writing doesn't allow her to do that. The one and only story she's read is my coming out story, The New Job, which she edited. I've since tried sending her some of my better stories - the ones with minimal or no sexual content - but she never gets around to reading them. I have a gay nephew and I'd love to share my writing with him, but I made a promise to my wife that I would keep my public and private lives separate, even to family. What can I say - she's paranoid. There are actually small clues in some of my writing that would allow anyone who knows me personally to figure out who wrote them, but that's as far as I'm willing to go. I take my promises seriously, including the vows I took 25 years ago.

 

 

Sounds like we are in a similar boat except my husband will read some of my stuff and sometimes comment, not always favorably. His reaction to me being bi fluctuates. He likes it that I'll go to clubs and such with him but he is almost paranoidly jealous at times, of guys and girls. Fact of life I guess but like you, I keep writing anyway. That's too bad you can't talk to your nephew though I understand you upholding a promise. It's very important.

[Jdare123]

Hello Jdare123! Welcome to GA! This is a good site to post your stories, friendly place. I'd be happy to read your stories. And happy to hear your thoughts in discussions too

 

If you and the rest of the peeps are not happy/able or willing to discuss their stories irl, we have a friendly enviroment here.

 

Thanks so much for the welcome! I've been a lurker for a long time but it's kind of nice actually participating a bit.

[Former Member]

My best friend was actually the one who introduced me to GA, she isn't straight herself and both her and another girl I used to hang out with a lot are into m/m stories, so they were more than cool when they found out I write m/m stories myself.

 

Let's see, my younger brother knows, and although he's straight as an arrow, he doesn't mind it one bit, as long as I don't go around talking about my stories in too much detail, that tends to freak him out a bit.

 

My mom knows, since I sent her an e-mail about fanfiction and the words and abbrevations used in fanfics. I sent it, becaue she wanted to read my fanfic and most of them are m/m fics. In that e-mail, I also explained my interest in m/m stories, and I asked not to judge me because of that interest. We've never talked about ti afterwards, but now at least she knows. Also, my mother readsd Red Light, the story I've posted here on GA as well, and that's m/m. She doesn't mind, 'cause if she did, I doubt she would tell me time and again how much she loves the story

 

I'm not sure my father knows. I haven't told him, although he knows about my sexuality and he accepts that and is fine with it. He knows I'm a writer, of course, and that I write fanfiction and that Red Light is a fantasy story, but he only read the first chapter of that (he doesn't like the fantasy genre). also, I don't think he's ever read any of my fanfics. So I really don't know if he knows, and I'm kind of afraid to tell him (although I doubt he'd make too much of a problem of it). It's just that my father comes from a not too gay-friendly family. My grandmother, for example, is pretty much a homophobe, as far as I can tell.

 

Apart from these people, I don't think I know anyone in real life who knows I write m/m.

[Frostina]

Hi!

 

I just wondered are you out with your stories? How did they take it?

 

Me, well I have told my closest friends what I have written and what I read. One of them told her hubby too and all are fine. My gals think I'm a weirdo and love me the way I am. Lucky me, they support me 100%. One of them even joined GA to get more involved in my life (the one with the teasing hubby).

 

My mum knows that I'm obsessive online writer-reader but thinks I write fantacy (in a way I do, lol).

 

I want to tell a dear friend of mine, but I don't wanna scare him. I feel I'm holding back something important fom him... He's gay and in closet to everyone else but me and I really really don't wanna him thinking I'm gonna jump on him! I'm visiting him as we speek. What do you think? Is he gonna freak out...?

 

 

Almost everyone i think means something to me knows about what i'm involved in! so.. yes, they know.

 

When i finished the first draft of my first ever fiction, I showed my Hubby. actually, it was him and I that talked out the characters of my First ever story on the site, Prison of Hope.

 

Since then, he has read everything and well, what can i say, he's my biggest( read worst) critic! lol

 

I printed out hard copies for my parents, Ma was happy that i finally wrote something, and my dad read it and said 'well done'... and My sister called me a freak! lol (see, generations don't matter at all!!)

My friends ALL get to read what i write, and most of them have a few words to say! (mostly good ones tbh. )

 

Won't lie and say it was all smooth sailing, ost a few friends! but, i figured, if i had to hide my passion to keep them around, they're not really worth it!

 

Errr... I'm babbling now! so, I'll just conclude with, Yes, i believe i tell people! at the first chance i get! and i get to tell them why i am in a hurry, when i am in a hurry to get back here.. on GA!

[jian_sierra]

Only one friend knows I write here on GA and that had been a disaster. Suffice to say, I don't tell him about my writing projects on GA anymore. My family and friends know I write, but I haven't told them which site I post in. When I finally come out to family and friends in July, I'll finally be able to tell them I write on GA. So wish me luck

[pitchan]

Wow. I'd just posted an answer to this type of question elsewhere and I find it here as well.

In my mind my parents found out the worst way possible. A couple of years ago (around 2007) I was really (and still am kinda) into fanfiction slash and yaoi. We only had one comp in our house and I didn't want to password lock in case I raised suspicion. So I had loads of music folders and hid my yaoi and saved fanfics in them (with lots of folders within folders).

During summer vacation I'd gone to the other side of the country to visit my grandparents in my hometown. I get a call a week into my visit with my mother freaking out over whatever slashy stuff my parents had found in the comp after snooping through my files (keep in mind I was like 20 by then). I raged over breach of privacy. Got majorly lectured when I came home. They were and still are disgusted by it. Told me I couldn't do such things while living under their roof. They had also completely reformatted the PC. So I lost a lot of non-slashy stuff like music as well. To this day I dunno what exactly they'd found. my slashy fanfic or the yaoi (that a whole other thing. They despise that I love anime and they hate Japanese stuff). Dad forbid me to read online stories.

Though recently he found my folder of saved fics and he just gave me a look and never mentioned it again. They totally still disapprove though. xD

[Cailen]

i told my parents i wrote a gay novel and they suggest that i get another job or maybe go back to school or do something real with my life. So basically i have no support, my friends know i write but don't really understand. I don't get real life support for my writing so every reviewer and every person who reads it means SO SO SO much to me. I really could never thank my fans enough for their support, and GA is my family of support.

[MarkSen]

I don't get much real life support for my writing either and by that I mean I only get real life support from one person, who is a friend of mine. I'm not out to any of my family or other friends about the kinds of stories I write and I don't see the need to, really. They're not very interested in what I write, just the fact that I write.