Occasional Poetry - 56. November Cinquains

I only tinkered round a few of the edges.

I really like both - I thought initially I'd prefer the first, but my favour has now gone to the other.

the cold, gaunt-fingered horizon is a line that speaks very clearly to me today. The weather being particularly cold and bright.

On 11/30/2016 01:05 AM, northie said:

I only tinkered round a few of the edges.

 

I really like both - I thought initially I'd prefer the first, but my favour has now gone to the other.

 

the cold, gaunt-fingered horizon is a line that speaks very clearly to me today. The weather being particularly cold and bright.

The trees on the ridge behind my house gave the inspiration for that line you like...today, the winds from the south were blowing the clouds aside to reveal stars; Orion retiring behind the horizon, and Ursa growling in the north. Thanks for helping to make these so much better.

I read the second one, stumbling over 'belt' until finally it 'dawned' on me. Orion's belt! Then it made sense... what can I say... I'm a little slow sometimes. I was pleases to see from a response I had it right. Wonderful poems, Parker. I loved them both! Cheers... Gary....

On 11/30/2016 01:14 AM, Valkyrie said:

Your imagery is spot-on for both of these. Like Northie, I also love the 'gaunt-fingered horizon'. It describes my drive to work (along Route 400) perfectly this time of year. Nice job.

Yes! I know that road well. I am glad that image worked for you, too. It seems just the way to describe the dark trees reaching for the stars before sunrise. Many thanks!

On 11/30/2016 05:00 AM, Headstall said:

I read the second one, stumbling over 'belt' until finally it 'dawned' on me. Orion's belt! Then it made sense... what can I say... I'm a little slow sometimes. I was pleases to see from a response I had it right. Wonderful poems, Parker. I loved them both! Cheers... Gary....

Orion is one of my best nighttime friends, it seems. He keeps coming back to me every time I try to write about the night sky or the moments before dawn. I am glad you got my allusion. You're not slow, I was being somewhat obscure. Thanks for responding to these and for taking the time to read them. - P

Two lovely Cinquains, Parker.
The first is sort of prophetic of something about to happen. Of course, we know exactly what it is, and I delighted in your description of "quieting the bones." That leaves us with exactly the right feel.

The second, with its astro-nomical/-logical vision, lifts our sight upward to the prince who rules over the coming season. Also very well written and visually stimulating.

I enjoyed these very much.

Clearly explained, beautifully written and generated a nice feeling. New perception of how the climate changes according to Nature. Loved both. You know I am probably gonna be a night watcher tonight to look at the handsome guy up above the sky, Orion.

Loved them both.

~Emi.

On 11/30/2016 02:32 PM, skinnydragon said:

Two lovely Cinquains, Parker.

The first is sort of prophetic of something about to happen. Of course, we know exactly what it is, and I delighted in your description of "quieting the bones." That leaves us with exactly the right feel.

 

The second, with its astro-nomical/-logical vision, lifts our sight upward to the prince who rules over the coming season. Also very well written and visually stimulating.

 

I enjoyed these very much.

I am glad you liked these two small offerings. They give us a taste of the changing season, and of the expectancy we can feel the air about this time of year. And Orion is one of my favorite constellations; I liked the connection you made in your remarks. Thanks so much for your thoughts.

On 11/30/2016 05:24 PM, Emi GS said:

Clearly explained, beautifully written and generated a nice feeling. New perception of how the climate changes according to Nature. Loved both. You know I am probably gonna be a night watcher tonight to look at the handsome guy up above the sky, Orion.

 

Loved them both.

 

~Emi.

And it is getting ready to be winter here...thanks for taking the time to look at these. I am so glad you liked them!

Beautiful imagery, and quite elaborate. Reading both of them gives the 'feel' of that wonderful old Swiss song/poem Winter is a Righteous Man.

Thanks for these engaging poems!

On 12/01/2016 04:17 AM, AC Benus said:

Beautiful imagery, and quite elaborate. Reading both of them gives the 'feel' of that wonderful old Swiss song/poem Winter is a Righteous Man.

 

Thanks for these engaging poems!

You are very kind in comparing these to that lovely Swiss poem. Winter, either approaching or present, can be personified so many ways, and we can be likened to it ourselves. Thanks for taking the time to think about these and respond to them. Keep warm! - P