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    Parker Owens
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  • 70 Words
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  • 14 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Occasional Poetry - 36. Tradesmen

i>Two Cinquains, mirrored. Unorthodox, but then I can be pardoned for that in summer, no?
Mechanic
 
Broken
past all repair,
my pieces strewn like shards
scattered on a limitless floor,
until
you came
painstakingly reassembling
the fragments, machining
new parts, making
me whole.
 
 
Weaver
 
Your arms
bind all my thin
strands tightly together,
like rough thread teased from carded wool,
and dyed
to make,
in weft and warp, a tapestry
of love prized above all
other dazzling
design.
 
em>Feel free to leave comments. I value anything you say.
Copyright © 2017 Parker Owens; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 9
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

On 07/27/2016 01:19 AM, Emi GS said:

Wow!!! Those might be the exact feelings of the things we neglect on daily basis. And I have been a fan of Cinquians and I just love them. :D

 

You have done brilliantly, Parker. They were just like a lover waiting for his soul-mate and completes only when he/she entered into their life and 'fulfills the prophecy'... :gikkle:

 

Wonderfully done Parker... :)

 

~Emi.GS

Thank you so much Emi. You are right about the idea of fulfillment and completion being the thing that holds these together, I am glad these spoke to you.

Please don't take this wrong. I have loved watching your journey through poetry. You talent is boundless, and your mastery of all the forms, impressive. I have liked and enjoyed pretty much all you have written. These, though, may well be my favorite... there is an accomplished simplicity to the two that has tremendous appeal for me, moreso than those that are rife with discernible complexity. There is a message in both of these I relate well to... and I'm not saying I don't relate to others of yours at all. In essence, these are my cup of tea. Cheers... Gary... a fan...

I loved both the content and the structure of these. Would I have noticed the structural element if you hadn't mentioned it? Possibly. Does noticing the structure make any difference? Only in so much as it increases my admiration for your craft. :)

 

Two phrases stood out for me: 'machining new parts' - the lover adding strength and resilience to his beloved. 'Weft and warp' - both words with an element of onomatopoeia which always 'work' wherever I read them.

 

[This review is guaranteed bus free ... ;) ]

On 07/27/2016 01:46 AM, Headstall said:

Please don't take this wrong. I have loved watching your journey through poetry. You talent is boundless, and your mastery of all the forms, impressive. I have liked and enjoyed pretty much all you have written. These, though, may well be my favorite... there is an accomplished simplicity to the two that has tremendous appeal for me, moreso than those that are rife with discernible complexity. There is a message in both of these I relate well to... and I'm not saying I don't relate to others of yours at all. In essence, these are my cup of tea. Cheers... Gary... a fan...

How wonderful that these seem brewed perfectly for your cup. That they appeal to you has made my day. The Cinquain form has some attractive attributes for a numbers guy, but also for the poet. And I am happy that their messages are meaningful to you, too. Many thanks for your comments, and glad you continue to read my offerings.

On 07/27/2016 03:48 AM, dughlas said:

Bravo! As you might know I am enamored of this form and its inherent flexibilty and simplicity. What you've created here makes full use of those qualities. Both flow easily and express a deep and abiding love and need for another. As with Gary, I think these some of your best.

You and Gary have got me blushing. I am so very glad you liked these. Cinquain, whether in its simplest form, or in its variations, still let's the poet play with rhythm and thought, all condensed to essentials. The thread of these is clear enough, and you have hit upon it exactly. I am so very grateful you continue to read these Occasional poems, and I thank you humbly for your comments.

On 07/27/2016 03:53 AM, northie said:

I loved both the content and the structure of these. Would I have noticed the structural element if you hadn't mentioned it? Possibly. Does noticing the structure make any difference? Only in so much as it increases my admiration for your craft. :)

 

Two phrases stood out for me: 'machining new parts' - the lover adding strength and resilience to his beloved. 'Weft and warp' - both words with an element of onomatopoeia which always 'work' wherever I read them.

 

[This review is guaranteed bus free ... ;) ]

Thanks for your very nice comments. Weft and warp are perfectly suited words, and sadly unknown to so many people. They lend themselves to poetry and metaphor. The mechanic, lovingly tending the broken soul, making one whole, is another powerful metaphor. In an age in which people put few hands on an actual craft, we lose such analogies, their meaning faded away, I am showing my age, I suppose. Hope your bus ride was (past tense) pleasant!

On 07/28/2016 07:17 AM, AC Benus said:

You've really utilized the 'mirror effect' this form offers to full effect here. They are both beautiful and thought-provoking. Thank you for posting them.

This form has certainly grown on me, both for its numerical-rhythmic possibilities, and for its structural varieties, which can be almost geometric. Oh, and it's just plain interesting. But it is so very good that you liked them, too. That above all, makes me glad.

On 07/28/2016 12:33 PM, skinnydragon said:

I think you can be pardoned.

When you write two perfect little gems like this, you can be pardoned far more than a summer fling!

 

Thoroughly delightful, my friend. :yes:

Your pardon is most generous. These were good to write, perhaps even hopeful to write. The wonderful thing about forms like these is the powerful dramatic turn one can put into so few lines. at least, that was the idea here. Thank you for your very kind thoughts and support.

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