Occasional Poetry - 14. Life Story

Parker, there is too much pain and sadness in each of these. We are all worthy of love.
Under the beard are scars, under the long sleeves are scars, under the long pants are scars and on my heart and my soul. But still someone loves me.
I hope your bad place is only temporary caused by too much work and lack of rest. You know how to get in touch if you need me. I always have space for one more.
tim xoxoxo

On 01/24/2016 03:07 PM, Valkyrie said:

Thanks, Val. Can't say what came over me; maybe the moon, maybe the form?

On 01/24/2016 03:10 PM, Mikiesboy said:

Parker, there is too much pain and sadness in each of these. We are all worthy of love.

Under the beard are scars, under the long sleeves are scars, under the long pants are scars and on my heart and my soul. But still someone loves me.

I hope your bad place is only temporary caused by too much work and lack of rest. You know how to get in touch if you need me. I always have space for one more.

tim xoxoxo

Don't worry, my friend. I'm okay. The form, or the moon, or the bus ride into town, or something got to me. I'm sorry to worry you; I tried to tell a tragedy in three verses. I could blame AC, he was my inspiration, kind of; but these were all mine.

All three invoke tremendous sadness. They link beautifully in an expression of an ache to be loved. Masterful... and I am trusting they are not about you... otherwise, I would feel the sadness tenfold... Gary....

Hm
Hits a touch past melancholy for me, almost slipping into dejection.

Definitely D minor

On 01/24/2016 03:28 PM, Headstall said:

All three invoke tremendous sadness. They link beautifully in an expression of an ache to be loved. Masterful... and I am trusting they are not about you... otherwise, I would feel the sadness tenfold... Gary....

For some very strange reason - moon, work, long bus ride, I don't know - I had an attack of he he menacholies as I composed these. The form lends itself to this, I think. But you are right, these three together are most powerfully sad. They are not about me, but as I might have or could still become. Perhaps fhey are more about my own fear than anything else Thank you for your review and your concern. - Parker

On 01/24/2016 05:23 PM, skinnydragon said:

Hm

Hits a touch past melancholy for me, almost slipping into dejection.

 

Definitely D minor

You said it perfectly. D minor, with modulation only to another minor key. I wonder if I was channelling broody Beethoven or unhappy Schumann. Actually, I was riding a bus as I composed these, so either would have been a challenge. Thanks for your review, and for the musical metaphor.

To put it in structured sentences, poetry for example, helps sorting through things/thoughts/pain/joy. At least for me. I guess this just needed to be said. Out loud.
I'm with Val, my first thought was you definitely needed a , even though I just came in from the rain and still drip on the floor.

On 01/25/2016 04:16 AM, aditus said:

To put it in structured sentences, poetry for example, helps sorting through things/thoughts/pain/joy. At least for me. I guess this just needed to be said. Out loud.

I'm with Val, my first thought was you definitely needed a , even though I just came in from the rain and still drip on the floor.

Thank you very much for such a warm reply. I think you are right that the structure helps elicit thoughts so that can be considered and sorted. Today, I think that these must somehow speak to fears I sense intuitively. And thank you for your hugs, however wet, which I can always use.

Sad thoughts
in a nutshell
show life in three stages
like Oedipus conquered the Sphinx.
Well done !

On 01/25/2016 06:08 AM, J.HunterDunn said:

Sad thoughts

in a nutshell

show life in three stages

like Oedipus conquered the Sphinx.

Well done !

And what a perfect review! Thank you for your thoughtful response. Don't know what gave me a fit of the melancholies...

D-minor, indeed…like a bit of the master…

These are beautiful poems and makes me want to learn and explore this unfamiliar form a bit more. To me they are rather Tanka-like, and brilliantly indrawn as well.

Stunning job, Parker. Thank you for sharing.

On 01/29/2016 07:37 AM, AC Benus said:

D-minor, indeed…like a bit of the master…

 

 

 

These are beautiful poems and makes me want to learn and explore this unfamiliar form a bit more. To me they are rather Tanka-like, and brilliantly indrawn as well.

 

Stunning job, Parker. Thank you for sharing.

I'm glad you thought them good. I got attacked by a fit of melancholy the night I wrote them. Definitely in a minor key.