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RIP - Comicality
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Occasional Poetry - 63. Dawn

i>An attempt at a slightly different metre. The mistakes I made are only mine.
Dawn
 
If I could share your sunrise,
as it glows upon the hill,
its brow all dark and fir clad,
waiting patiently and still
for light to work its magic
on the darkened fields so still,
I'd call upon the dawn bright,
help me all your dreams fulfill.
 
Yet even as the moon fades
from my window far away,
I color myself rueful
that we spent no time to lay
in velvet hours of darkness
or on whited fields to play
such sport as we might think of
under starlight's gentle ray.
 
Now come and be my daylight,
and the warmth upon my skin;
throw open all my chambers,
I shall surely let you in.
 
em>Leave a review, if you like. Responses are always welcome.
Copyright © 2017 Parker Owens; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Parker Owens
On 02/25/2017 07:56 AM, Mikiesboy said:

This is nice Parker, full of hope. I like it. xoxo

Thank you, tim. Dawn is one of my favorite moments of the day.

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Parker Owens
On 02/25/2017 08:08 AM, dughlas said:

I like this both the subject and the flow ... it feels joyful.

Thank you, Dugh. I am unused to 7 syllable lines. It worked out happily.

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Former Member

A wonderful poem. I like the travel trough a time and light of a day. There are wonderful pictures and descriptions, that make one almost feel the warmth on the skin. Thank you for writing. :hug:

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Parker Owens
On 02/25/2017 08:55 AM, Lyssa said:

A wonderful poem. I like the travel trough a time and light of a day. There are wonderful pictures and descriptions, that make one almost feel the warmth on the skin. Thank you for writing. :hug:

I am very happy you liked it. The movement from dark to light worked, and I am glad you felt the appeal to the senses. Many thanks for reading.

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Headstall

Lovely... I liked the cadence/meter. There was an easygoing flow to this one with clear appreciation for the subject. Something welcomed for this time of year, my friend... well done... more of this... cheers... Gary....

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Parker Owens
On 02/25/2017 09:01 AM, Headstall said:

Lovely... I liked the cadence/meter. There was an easygoing flow to this one with clear appreciation for the subject. Something welcomed for this time of year, my friend... well done... more of this... cheers... Gary....

Thank you, my friend. You are giving me excellent data on my experiment with seven syllable lines. I am glad you liked how it worked and flowed. Many many thanks.

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Emi GS

Dawn has its own attachment with every single person. But your's just lovely the way you have presented it. Made me remember my dream of looking the sun rise from the lands of deep ocean. Thank you for sharing.

 

~Emi.

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Parker Owens
On 02/28/2017 06:16 AM, Emi GS said:

Dawn has its own attachment with every single person. But your's just lovely the way you have presented it. Made me remember my dream of looking the sun rise from the lands of deep ocean. Thank you for sharing.

 

~Emi.

Thank you, Emi. I am glad you thought it lovely. Dawn comes in many ways and many forms, as you say. But it is one of the few events that unifies all seven billion of us, I think. So does yearning that comes with Dawn. Anyway, thanks so much.

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