The Cockney Canuck - 14. Chapter 14 Is this Nathan?

On Friday, I opened my locker to find another note tucked inside. It was the fourth one that week. It was printed on pink paper and had lipstick smudges in the corners, but as with the previous ones, there were no clues as to who was responsible.

‘What am I supposed to do, guess whose sending these'?

When I began reading it, I understood why it wasn’t signed. This girl wasn’t interested in love or romance, she wanted sex and she wasn’t afraid to let me know. It was quite explicit; describing in detail what she wanted to do.

It deserved a second opinion so took it with me to lunch, where I sat with Daniel and his friends for the first time since the start of the week.

“Did she dump you already?” asked Daniel.

“I told you we’re just friends. I don’t have to sit with her every day.”

“You should make a move dude,” said Billy. “You could end up having a three way with Fran and Laura, man.” There were a few laughs from the others. The thought of having sex with one girl was bad enough, but two at the same time was enough to give me an anxiety attack.

“Does anybody here know anything about this?” I tossed the note onto the table. Doug got to it first and I could see his eyes widen as he read it.

“Holy shit, who the fuck wrote this man? This is insane.”

“I was hoping that one of you lot could tell me. I found it stuffed in my locker this morning.”

“Read it out loud?” said Billy.

“I’m not reading this aloud,” Doug replied. “Fuck man this is one horny chick, if I knew who wrote this man, there’s no way that I’d tell you.”

“So none of you are responsible,” I said with a smirk.

“You think that we would write this shit to you?” said Doug.

“As a joke,” I said rolling my eyes.

“I couldn’t write this to some guy, not even as a joke,” he said. “This is a chick and she says that she’s in your homeroom. Fuck, you have to find her dude or you’ll always regret it.” That seemed to be the general consensus as the note made its way around the table until it reached Daniel who was sitting to my right. He was blushing and giggling as he read it, but didn’t comment.

“You should show it to Fran,” said Doug. “Let her know that she’s got a bit of competition on her hands.”

“Fran isn’t my girlfriend,” I insisted.

“Well maybe she wrote it then,” he said. I laughed and told him that I couldn’t imagine Fran ever writing something like that. She was a good girl, well brought up and she even went to church. Good girls like Fran weren’t into sex outside of marriage. That’s what I was always led to believe.

“What’s this? Has Daniel got a love letter?” I was still talking to Doug when I heard someone behind me. It wasn’t a voice that I recognised and I turned around to see a boy leaning over Daniel’s shoulder with his arm around him, reading the note. Daniel never flinched despite his close proximity and when he had finished reading, he turned and smiled at the kid who put his hand over his mouth in an exaggerated display of shock.

When I saw his face, I recognised him as the boy that I had seen at the bus stop the previous day, the one who winked at me.

“Oh my God, that’s disgusting,” he said.

“Hey dude,” said Doug. “How’s it going?”

‘Is this Nathan’?

He looked up and gave Doug and Billy a quick glance and a wave, before his eyes came to rest on me briefly, as if trying to remember where he had seen me before. I smiled at him and he returned the gesture. Then he took a chair from the next table and turned it around to sit between Daniel and me. I only got to see his face at the bus stop, but now I was able to get a better look at him. Whoever this kid was he was gorgeous. It was his wide and wild eyes that captured me along with his hair. Darker than mine and a lot longer.

“This is my best friend Nathan,” said Daniel, confirming what I had already guessed. “And Nathan, this is my cousin Robbie, from England. It’s his love letter not mine.” Daniel slid the note across the table as Nathan held his hand out for me to shake. His touch was gentle and his skin soft, if a little sweaty. He held onto my hand a little longer than necessary, and the contact was electrifying. Better than even my twisted imagination could dream up.

“At last I get to meet you,” he said.

“Actually we’ve already met.”

“I know the bus stop right? Yesterday afternoon.” I nodded. I think that I would have been devastated had he forgotten me.

Unlike mine, his cheeks weren’t as red now that he was out of the cold, and even close-up his complexion was flawless. His teeth were a little big for his face but were whiter than mine and looked as if they had been polished. I scanned him quickly from head to foot looking for a fault, something that would make him normal, but there was nothing that I could see that I didn’t like and just like at the bus stop, I was unable to take my eyes off him.

It was as if someone had hit the panic button and turned me into a nervous wreck. My stomach was in knots and I wasn’t able to finish my lunch or even think straight. I was pretty sure that I had never met anybody before who had had this effect on me, although I couldn’t work out why. Nathan was a very good-looking boy, maybe a bit feminine for some people, but he definitely looked like a boy. However, he wasn’t the best-looking boy that I had ever seen and wasn’t quite as beautiful as the blond boy who I had been stalking every day on the school bus. Maybe it was the way that Nathan had been returning my obvious looks of appreciation, but whatever it was, this kid just excited me, like nobody else had ever done.

He explained to Daniel how he had seen me at the bus stop, but didn’t know who I was. All the time I kept staring into those big, vivid, blue eyes, paralysed by his beauty. Apparently, he had just got out drama club, which explained why he was late coming out of school.

“Nathan’s a thespian,” said Daniel.

“I don’t mind,” I said.

“I meant he’s into acting,” he laughed.

“Oh, right, of course."

‘I should have guessed’.

“What did you think he meant?” said Nathan.

I laughed with him and shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t wanna say.”

“What have you been saying about me Daniel?” said Nathan.

Daniel was blushing as Nathan leaned over, raised his eyebrows and smiled provocatively at me.

“Whatever Daniel has said about me,” he whispered loudly. “Is true, okay?”

“I’ll bear that in mind.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” said Nathan.

“You have?” I said, slightly surprised.

“Yeah, Daniel’s told me all about you over the phone. Don’t worry, it was nothing bad,” he said, ”until now that is.” He picked up the note and handed it to me. “Looks like you’ve made a good impression with somebody. You don’t waste much time do you?” I could feel my face burning and it was my turn to blush. I tried to look away, but his eyes held my attention, pulling me in.

“I don’t know who wrote it,” I said, feeling the need to explain myself. “I found it in my locker this morning.”

“I’m only teasing you, sweetie,” he said. “Your love life is none of my business.”

‘Did he just call me sweetie’?

It didn’t go unnoticed by Daniel’s other friends. “Looks like you’ve got another admirer there Robbie,” said Billy.

Nathan looked over and gave him the finger.

“Yeah,” added Doug, “Maybe it was Nathan who sent the note,” and they both laughed as they stood up to take their lunch trays back.

‘I wish’.

“I don’t have a love life anyway,” I protested to Nathan. “I haven’t been here long enough.”

“Oh, we’ll have to fix that for you,” he said, looking into my eyes. I had no idea what that remark meant, but I spent a lot of time afterwards thinking about it.

I was certain that I had unintentionally shown Nathan enough for him to see through my thin disguise. He had probably noticed it in my eyes or my expressions; maybe he could even smell it on me. I thought about what Tom had said to me about showing up on people’s gaydars and wondered if there was any truth in it.

‘Am I that obvious or am I just obvious to gay people’?

I could feel his eyes on me and I looked down at the table and my unfinished lunch, too scared to look back at him for fear of giving myself away even more. Nathan’s attention was soon hi-jacked by a girl sitting at the next table, the one from which he had borrowed the chair. The girl was older than he was, but she seemed to know him quite well and they had a little chat while I played with my food unable to stop myself from listening in. This girl was obviously nothing more than Nathan’ friend, but I didn’t like him talking to her and I didn’t know why.

After a short time, he stood up, pushed his chair back and said goodbye to the girl. I turned around to face him and he put a hand on my shoulder as our eyes met again.

“Nice meeting you Robbie, finally,” he said and I think that I was shaking when he did this.

“Me too,” I said. It was lame, but he had me flustered as he patted my shoulder before turning towards Daniel. “I’ve gotta go, I’ll see you later dude.”

I watched him walk away, unable to resist a quick peek at his ass, which was, as I had expected, pretty much like the rest of him, perfect. I breathed a sigh of relief and turned to Daniel.

“That’s Nathan,” he said, smiling.

“He’s nice,” I replied, “I mean is he has a nice personality.”

* * * * *

It was already dark as I got off the bus the following Tuesday. I had been hoping to see Nathan again at the bus stop outside of school, but I guess that his drama club was only on Thursdays. It was starting to get cold, but I was in no rush as I left the path to crunch deep footprints over the untouched snow on the driveway. I had been there for three weeks, but the snow was still a bit of a novelty to me and I grabbed a handful of it to make a giant snowball before throwing it up towards the Don and Sue’s bedroom window where it exploded. Other than my own freshly made footprints the only other marks on the pristine snow that covered the driveway were two wide tire marks leading up to the garage door. This meant that Don was already home from work and I would be the last one in. They would probably be waiting for me to arrive before sitting down to dinner.

“Is that you Robbie,” called Sue from the kitchen. I could smell something good cooking. I was hungry and tired.

“Yes,” I replied and walked into the Kitchen with my backpack of books slung over my shoulder.

“Hiya hun.”

“Hi.”

“How was your day?” she asked.

“Exhausting,” I replied as I sat down at the dining table before pulling my sweater over my head and dropping it on the floor. My eyes were stinging and I could feel a headache coming on. It had been a difficult day for me and it wasn’t over yet. I knew that I still had my history homework to do. Another hour of work after already spending the previous nine hours at or travelling to and from school. It was a punishing schedule and one that I wasn’t used to.

‘I think I would prefer to be a dunce’?

I folded my arms on the table in front of me and rested my head on them to close my eyes for a couple of minutes and it felt good. I could have easily gone to sleep right there and then without any problem at all and I probably would have if it wasn’t for Amy.

“Robbie are you asleep?” she said as she sat next to me tugging at my arm.

“Not anymore,” I said without raising my head.

“You can’t go to sleep there,” she said.

“Why not?”

“Amy,” said Sue, “leave Robbie alone and lay the table for me sweetheart.”

“But he’s sleeping on the table,” said Amy. “He can’t sleep there.”

“No, he can’t sleep there, wake up dork.” It was Nicola with a louder, sterner voice and I lifted my head and opened my eyes.

“Go wash your hands and put your books away,” she said pointing to my backpack, and I groaned, but stood up and did what I was told.

Don always liked the family to eat together in the evenings, and he generally made it home on time except for Friday evening, which was his night out after work. That night though we all ate together, and afterwards I sat at the table as Daniel cleared the plates and filled the dishwasher, a chore that he always seemed to get lumbered with.

I was about to get up and go downstairs when Sue told me to stay because she had something to show me. Then she walked off into the living room and returned carrying a big cardboard shoebox.

“Guess what I’ve got?” she said.

“A new pair of shoes?” I replied.

Don laughed and then quickly got up. “Oh boy you’re for it now Robbie,” he said. “She’s got the photos out,” and he made a dash for the living room to watch the news.

‘Oh Shit this is going to be embarrassing’.

“I have some pictures that you might want to see,” she said.

“I doubt it.”

“Come on don’t be such a stick in the mud,” she said. “There are some of you in here when you were young. Maybe they’ll help jog your memory.”

‘I don’t really want my memory jogged’.

The first picture she handed me was one of me standing in front of a man who at first I thought was Don. He was crouched down with his hands on my arms. I was dressed quite smartly in a button up shirt and it was obviously in the summer. I couldn’t tell how old I was and I had never seen the picture before now. I picked it up to take a closer look. It was definitely me but I didn’t recognise the man behind me or remember anything about it. I looked at Sue for an answer.

“It’s your father,” she said and my stomach tied up in knots. I looked at it closely, concentrating on his face, but it wasn’t the clearest of photographs and it was difficult to see him that well. I could feel Daniel standing behind me and Nicola sat opposite with her arm outstretched for me to pass it to her. I had mixed emotions and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see it after all this time. It was the first photograph that I had ever seen of him. My mom hadn't kept a single one, not even to show me when I was older. Up until then, he had only been a name.

“You look a bit like him,” said Nicola. “But I think you look more like your mom.” For a change, I was actually pleased with what she said. I didn’t want to resemble him in any way.

There were more to follow. A photograph of him with another man, they were dressed smartly in suits. The occasion was obvious when I saw the next one, which was of him and my mom.

“Her wedding,” I mumbled. She looked so young and healthy and so very different from how she had looked before she died. My mind had been poisoned by how she looked at the end and I didn’t want to remember her that way. I stared at the photo for ages as everyone around me went quiet. Daniel respectfully edged away and went to sit next to Nicola. Nobody said a word until I looked up and faked a smile at Sue.

“It feels strange, seeing these for the first time,” I said. “She never talked about her wedding, I wasn’t even sure if she was ever really married.”

There was one of my mom holding me in her arms when I was a baby and another of her standing with Don. It was taken on the day we left for England and belonged with the two photographs that Sue had chosen to display on her family wall.

“That’s all we have of your dad or of the time that they were together,” said Sue. “I thought that you would want to see them, you can keep them if you want.”

I appreciated her offer but I honestly didn’t know whether I wanted to or not.

“Maybe you should keep them, Sue. I’ve already got loads of my mom from when she was younger.” I picked up the photographs of my dad and put them face down on the table. “If it were my decision I would throw these away,” I said. “He means nothing to me and I’m glad that he’s dead.”

‘If he hadn't of died, then I would probably be living with him now, and it would probably be a lot worse’.

Sue looked me in the eye and nodded her head, but the photographs in question were put back in the box.

“There’s one with your mom,” said Nicola, trying to lighten up the mood. I had never seen that one before either. “And a picture of our mom and your mom.” It was Sue and my mom together at some kind of function.

‘My two mothers together’.

“Here’s Daniel on his first day at Stephenson last September,” said Sue. “And Nicola at the junior prom.” She was wearing a full length dress and stood next to a boy who I didn’t recognise but I assumed was her date.

“Nice dress,” I said grinning. “Who’s the lucky guy?” She just narrowed her eyes at me. She didn’t need to speak; her body language conveyed her message perfectly. At least it managed to cheer me up.

“Stop it you two,” said Sue as she continued sorting through dozens of photographs obviously taken over a number of years and kept in no particular order.

“That’s you outside our house in Toronto with Daniel,” she said and Daniel looked at it before handing it to me. We were both standing up to our knees in snow. My mom had similar photographs, which I kept upstairs in my suitcase.

“Here’s the photograph that Amy was referring to at the airport,” said Sue as she handed me a picture of two boys sitting in the bath. Daniel had hardly changed at all and the other one was clearly me. It wasn’t as embarrassing as I had imagined thanks to the bubble bath and I dutifully handed it to Nicola who had a quick laugh as she passed it on to Daniel who in turn gave it to Amy who had joined us. Naturally, she thought it was hilarious, but her laughter was soon matched by Nicola who had spotted something interesting in the box. “Oh my god,” she said. “Mom is that Robbie? That’s so funny.” She was covering her mouth pretending that she was shocked. “It’s a picture of you naked.”

“Whatever,” I said trying not to let it bother me. Then Daniel leaned over and laughed as Nicola showed him the photograph.

“It’s true dude,” he said.

“Don’t be horrible,” said Sue.

“Show me then,” I said trying to take it from her, but she pulled it away before I could snatch it. I walked around the table and she got up and quickly ran around to the other side. Soon I was chasing her around the table but she was as quicker than I was and I soon gave up and sat down.

She waved it in the air to tease me, knowing how much it would bug me.

“She’s only playing with you Robbie, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” said Sue.

“I’ll be the judge of that,” I said as I reached over and was able to surprise Nicola by snatching the photo out of her hand. She was right the picture was of me and I didn’t have any clothes on either, but I was standing with my back to the camera and all you could see was my ass and the side of my face as I turned my head towards whoever was taking the picture. I had a big smile on my face and I thought that the picture was actually quite funny and not embarrassing considering I was only about four years old at the time. Nicola was still laughing and Amy joined in too as she passed it back to Sue for me.

“It doesn't look as if you were too bothered then about wearing cloths,” said Nicola.

“I was young. I needed the work.”

* * * * *

By the time Thursday came around, I had seen Nathan in school on a couple of occasions including earlier that day at lunch when he had sat with Daniel, Doug, Billy and me for the whole time. We hadn’t talked much, but just being in his company made me feel good. It was obvious to me that I was attracted to this boy in quite a big way. I had been thinking about him for most of the week and trying to figure out a plan of action. Previously, these kinds of feelings had been exclusively reserved for Tom and nobody else had even come close to dislodging him. I had known Tom though for a few years and even though I had always fancied him, we were best friends for a long time before anything else happened. Nathan was different, he wasn’t a friend and I knew very little about him, but from the very first time that I saw this kid, I had a longing to get to know him much better. It was an unashamed desire that focused entirely on sex and I found myself yearning for him in a way that I had never done with anyone else. I thought that he was incredibly hot. It wasn’t just his boyish good looks, his perfect skin or his kissable lips but it was also his cute voice, the sensual way he would talk to me and the flirtatious things that he would say. It made for a potent package that had me gagging.

I was doubtful that he understood just how much power he had over me, considering he was still a virtual stranger. I had been thinking about him for most of the day and the excitement grew as I approached the bus stop and saw him sitting in the same place as the previous week. This time he was on his own and his face lit up into a warm smile when he saw me.

“Hey Robbie,” he said as he signalled for me to sit next to him. It was a little warmer than it had been the week before but not much.

“Hiya.”

“I bet it never gets this cold in England,” he said.

“Probably not this cold, no,” I said. “But it does get cold.”

“And it rains a lot, eh?”

“Oh yeah, we have a lot of rain,” I said.

“And fog eh.”

“Ha, you’ve been watching too many movies; we don’t get a lot of fog in London these days.”

“I like your accent,” he said. “I think it’s really cool, but I bet everyone says that.”

I nodded; I couldn’t believe that this beautiful boy was complimenting me. He liked something about me, even if it was only my accent. I liked everything about him and I wouldn’t know where to start.

“So are you going to be staying in Canada permanently?” he said.

“Probably,” I replied. “I’m guessing that Daniel has told you.” I didn’t need to say anymore.

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m sorry about your mom?”

“Thanks,” I said and I actually thought that it was really cool of him to mention her. Obviously, Daniel had told him, but Nathan had never even met her, and most kids would have steered well clear of this topic.

“How do you like living in the Taylor house?"

“It’s a nice house but I’m still getting used to everyone.”

“Daniel’s cool, he really likes you?”

I couldn’t deny it. “Yeah, we get on quite well.”

“And he’s excited that you’re gonna be his brother.”

“Really?”

“For sure. Daniel has always wanted a brother. What about you? You’re an only child right? You must have wanted a brother or sister when you were younger.”

I wasn’t prepared for that question or for Nathan's direct approach. “Sometimes.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t ask so many questions, I’m just interested in people.” When he said that he turned his head to face me and gave me a cute smile that took my breath away, and once again I found myself lost in those big friendly eyes.

‘He’s adorable’.

Nathan looked embarrassed, I had been looking at him for longer than I should. Longer than a straight boy looks at another boy. I needed to be more careful when drooling over him but my blushes were saved by his bus.

“I’ll see you in school,” he said and gave me a cute little wave as he boarded the bus.

‘What would it be like to kiss him'?

* * * * *

I liked Fran in the beginning because she was so different from the regular cheerleader types that all the guys seemed to want to date. She had a strong personality and an opinion on everything. We shared the same views and fortunately a lot of the same classes so it was hardly surprising that we soon became friends.

There was another reason why I wanted to be friends with Fran. She was a grade A student and top of the class at math. This was more than just convenient for someone like me who had at one stage been on the verge of being embarrassingly dropped back a year. The subject of course that I needed the most help with was math!

Our art lesson took up the final period on Friday and therefore the last lesson of the week. I liked this because it was a relaxed and fairly easy lesson to finish the week with and that day was the end of my fourth week at Stephenson.

We had been asked to take turns drawing our partners in pencils and Fran had wasted no time starting her drawing, and was busy working away using different types of pencils like a true professional. She took it very seriously and paid a lot of attention to my features studying me close up and smiling at me when I pulled a stupid face at her. Being a life model for someone was fairly boring but a lot easier job than being the artist, as I would soon find out.

Fran finished way ahead of time and I was amazed at how good it was. It really did look like me. She was an artist without doubt.

‘I’m not going to be able to get anywhere near that with my attempt’.

She told me to take my time and to try to draw exactly what I saw. It wasn’t going to be easy I knew that much, and I sat there looking at her face for a couple of minutes just as she had done with me. It was perhaps the first opportunity that I had had to look at her properly and I was able to notice things about her that I hadn't seen before. I thought that she had a cute nose; it was straight, very Italian and it suited her face. She had high cheekbones and a dainty little mouth that formed the cutest little smile. She was nice looking for a girl, a real catch for any straight guy and I wondered why she didn’t seem to have a boyfriend.

One of the things that I liked about Fran was the way that she dressed. She was the type of person that could wear anything and still look good in it. That day she wore a pair of cut down jeans with trainers and a light coloured baggy top with rolled up sleeves. If it wasn’t for her long hair, then she could have easily passed for a boy and maybe this was one of the reasons why I liked her so much.

I showed her the drawing. “I’m sorry. It hasn’t come out very good,” I said. “I wish I could draw like you, you’re so good.”

I laughed when she looked at my effort and she burst out laughing too. I hadn't even tried to draw her deciding very early on that I was never going to be able to do justice to those looks. Instead, I had drawn some evil looking zombie with a huge head and teeth.

“Well it’s a start,” she said. “Either you have to pay more attention to your subject or I have to take a closer look in the mirror.”

“Your drawing is amazing,” I said, “Can I keep it?”

“If you really want to sure, but it’s really not that good. I could do a lot better if you wanted to model for me for a few hours,” she said. “I’ve been trying to find a life model to paint.”

“You want to paint me?” I asked. “You mean, like a proper painting in oils and shit.”

“Just in oils Robbie, we’ll leave the shit for Tracy Emin,” she said.

“Oh, I know who she is,” I said, “that’s funny.”

“Well it’s up to you,” she said adding, “It’ll be fun.”

“That would be really neat,” I said, “as long as I can keep my cloths on.” It was a joke, delivered with a cheeky smile.

She rolled her eyes at me. “Spoilsport,” she said and laughed. “Seriously though you're welcome to come over after school one day if you want,” she said. “I have a room at home that I’ve turned into a studio.”

“You have your own studio?” I said.

“Yeah, I’m lucky I suppose?”

“If you really want to paint me, then I don’t mind,” I said. “It’s not like I have much else to do with my time.”

“Great? I could even give you some tips if you were genuinely interested in art,” she said.

“You’d be flogging a dead horse with me; I don’t think that I’m ever going to be any good at art. I wouldn’t want you to waste any of your spare time on me.”

The class was ending, as was the school day, and week. Fran stood up and moved closer to face me. “Robbie you are so sweet. Do you know that?” I shook my head. “Well you really are,” she said, “and I would be more than happy to waste some of my spare time on you.” She smiled and then did something that was totally unexpected and totally against the rules in school. She leaned over and gave me a quick kiss on the lips before moving away and hiding behind a cute smile.

‘I’m such a dork! How did I not see this’?

I suddenly realised what was going on. I was so busy thinking about myself and looking at cute boys that I had totally misread this. I thought that we were going to be good friends, but suddenly I got the impression that she was after something more than that.

‘Duh I’m so thick; Daniel and his mates were right all along’.

I had to admit though the realisation made me feel quite good. She must have found me attractive, and this was good to know. She was a very attractive girl and I was flattered, but I needed to explain to her somehow that it wouldn’t work without her thinking that I was rejecting her in any way.

‘Shit how was that going to happen? I can’t risk coming out to anyone at school. Something like that, if it ever got out would destroy me. It would wreck my life for sure. She’s really nice, but can I definitely trust her not to say anything? Why does life have to be so complicated’?

We walked out of the art class together heading towards our lockers, which were on the other side of the school and a floor below. We didn’t speak much, but I got the feeling that she was waiting for me to say something. Maybe she was waiting for me to ask her on a date or something. I had never asked a girl out before or even a boy for that matter. The dating game was new to me. I really liked her and I had wanted so much to be her friend, but this wasn’t the way that I was expecting it to go. I decided to improvise.

‘What the hell, Fran’s a good-looking girl, she kissed me and she’s obviously interested and I like her. I might not get another chance like this’.

“Fran,” I said, “can I ask you something?”

We were walking along the main corridor, which was now becoming very busy with kids passing on each side in a mad rush to get home.

“Sure you can,” she said, and there was a long silence before I looked over at her.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” I asked.

She turned to meet my eyes and smiled sweetly at me. “No I don’t, Robbie. Why did you ask that?”

“Really?” I must have sounded surprised. “That’s good. I mean, well I was thinking in class that you must have a boyfriend because you’re…you know…you’re pretty. I mean you're really nice and I like you a lot.”

She blushed and it lit up her face making her look quite attractive. Her face was glowing or it may have been a reflection of me. I could definitely feel the heat between us as we walked downstairs.

“Thank you Robbie, that’s very sweet of you. I like you too.” I think I already knew that, she couldn’t have been more obvious. I had no idea what I should say or where this was going. I could feel the heat filling my cheeks and knew my face was definitely giving me away. I looked at her nervously. Once again, she was waiting for me to say something and I was trying hard to search for the right words. I wasn’t looking where I was going though, and before I knew what was happening Fran had grabbed my arm and pulled me towards her before I walked into a row of empty seats. She was laughing as I narrowly avoided what would have been a very embarrassing accident.

“Oops…blimey, where did they come from?”

“They’ve always been there,” she smirked before turning sharp left at the end of the main corridor. “Your locker’s over here remember,” and she led the way only this time she had let go of my arm and was holding my hand. At my locker, she let go and turned to face me looking right into my eyes. For the first time ever I was able to see her in a completely different way and I suddenly had an overwhelming desire to kiss her. Before that moment, I had never had any desire to kiss a female on the lips and I had to remind myself that we were still in school and there were people watching us or so it seemed. I was totally lost for words and if she hadn't of spoken then we could have been there for hours.

“You’re nervous,” she said. There’s no need to be, you know, I really like you. I think you're cute and funny.”

“Ooh…thanks. So do I. I mean I think that you're cute and funny, not me,” I said. “Well I don’t think you're funny in a bad way, you know, but you're definitely cute if you know what I mean.”

She laughed at my bumbling and then reached over and squeezed my hand before leaning over and whispering in my ear. “Why don’t you ask me out? If that’s what you want.”

‘Oh shit, shit, shit she must think that I’m a real dickhead’.

“Would you go out with me?” I asked her tentatively.

‘Did I just say that aloud? To a girl’?

“Yes, of course,” she said without hesitating. “We got there, in the end, was that the first time you’ve asked a girl out on a date?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Really?”

“Yes…is that bad?”

“No, of course not,” she said. “I don’t think that it’s bad. You're definitely a little different from most of the other guys around here but I like that.” Then she leaned towards me and kissed me very quickly on the lips again. I panicked looking quickly around us blushing. It was still very busy and I was certain that people had seen us, but nobody said anything.

“I have to go or I’ll miss my bus,” I said as I saw Daniel approaching and no doubt wondering why I didn’t have my coat on. I noticed him looking down to where Fran still held my hand before she let go and I turned towards my locker in a rush.

“Call me tonight okay,” said Fran, and I watched her walking away.

“I will.”

Daniel was all dressed and ready to go as I struggled to put on my coat and hat in a mad rush.

“We gotta go dude,” he said. “We’re late.”

I already knew that much and I nodded towards him before dropping my books that I needed to take home on the floor and cursing myself. I picked them up and threw them into my backpack as Daniel closed and locked my locker for me, and then he ran on ahead to make sure the driver knew we were coming.

There were a few groans from some of the other kids as I got onto the bus and made my way to where Daniel was sitting. They had had to wait a little longer than they wanted to start their journey home and I saw Nicola in her usual seat at the back giving me a hard stare and shaking her head.

‘So what, so fucking what if we’re a few minutes late. I just asked Fran out on a date, she said yes, and I don’t even like girls. Put that in your pipe and smoke it’!

Daniel kept giving me strange looks and it was obvious that wanted to ask me about it. Finally, he looked towards me smiling. “Are you and Fran actually dating now then?” he asked.

I looked at him for a few seconds. “I suppose so,” I said. She had agreed to go out with me and kissed me twice on the lips, but I wasn’t really sure if that meant that we were dating.

He gave me a smug look as if to say that he had been right all along.

“She kind of talked me into it in the end,” I said.

“Right. I believe you,” he said sarcastically. “That’s pretty cool though, Fran’s nice. Doug is going to be so jealous.”

“He is?”

“Oh yeah, he thinks that Fran’s really hot and he’s been trying to get the courage to ask her out since the start of the year. You’ve only been here for like three weeks,” he said.

“Oh, I didn’t know that he knew Fran.”

“He doesn't,” he said, “but it doesn't stop him from asking.” He laughed again and then moved closer and said quietly. “Don’t say that I told you this, but Doug thinks that you're gay.”

“He thinks I’m gay!” I repeated way too loudly and a few of the other kids on the bus looked over at me and sniggered. I smiled in their general direction. “He thinks that I’m gay,” I said, much quieter.

‘Why is it that everybody seems to hear that word above everything else’?

“Don’t say anything. He didn’t mean it in a bad way. But like is he ever wrong about you eh.”

I looked over at him and gave him a faint smile. “Yeah,” I said. “Not many.”