The Cockney Canuck - 16. Chapter 16 Be My Baby

It was on the third Saturday of February that I found myself getting ready for what was to be my first ever date. I was as nervous as hell and while this must have been obvious, nobody knew the real reason for it.

I had convinced myself that if I were ever going to be happy in my new life, then I would need to be straight like everybody else that I knew and this was the first step. It made perfect sense and I was certain that I was doing the right thing. With a little effort on my part, I would soon be into girls with the same enthusiasm as most other boys my age.

We were going out to an Italian restaurant situated by the harbour. It was Fran’s choice, she knew the restaurant well and her parents were friends of the restaurant owner. She wanted me to try some authentic Italian food and this was, she said just about the best Italian restaurant in Cobourg. I discovered later that it was also the only one, which amused me but I was happy to leave it to Fran, her family would eat out all the time and she told me that cooking was one of her hobbies. I told this to Don as he drove me to the mall so that I could spend some of my allowance on new clothes for my big night. He told me that if Fran were Italian then she would definitely know how to cook.

He seemed to be more excited about my date as I was and kept asking me questions about her, most of which I couldn’t really answer because I didn’t really know her outside of school. I think that he was just happy to see me getting on with my life, instead of moping around the house and I knew what he was thinking. A girlfriend would probably help me to settle here and take my mind off my mom and Tom. I had been thinking along the same lines.

I hadn’t asked him for a lift as I could easily have taken the bus to the mall, but he insisted on coming along to help me pick out something. Don didn’t dress badly for a guy in his late forties, but even so, there was no way that I was going to buy something that he would wear and he must have known this. I suspected the real reason why he was going shopping with me was to get the low down on Fran, as well as maybe offer some much-needed advice on what to do on a date. Mercifully, I had been spared the birds and the bees talk, I guess he must have realised that at 15 years old, I knew all about that kind of stuff. What I didn’t know about, was the small details, like how to talk to her parents, what to talk to them about and how to make a good impression without being too nervous. He seemed like he knew what he was talking about and I listened to everything he had to say with interest. The only time he mentioned sex, was when he told me that if I ever needed any advice in the future about anything sexually related, then I should talk to Nicola. I looked at him in shock and he burst out laughing.

‘I guess that he does have a sense of humour after all’.

He may not have been my actual father, but the way that he acted around me and talked to me that day, would have made it impossible for anyone to guess otherwise. Don could be good company when he wanted to be, even for a moody, precocious teenager like me. Underneath that cold exterior, was a kind person with a big heart, who would generally do whatever he could for his family. He had done well for himself since immigrating to Canada and for him; it was a gamble that had paid off. There was no reason why it wouldn’t pay off for me either, as long as I played by the rules.

Don worked long hours during the week, but never at the weekends. He would spend those days at home with Sue entertaining as he called it and this was what he loved to do more than anything. They had many friends, including some quite important contacts and would often have people over for dinner. They were mostly couples and I know that many of them were work related, but those evenings were always light hearted and relaxed. Don would play his role as the head of the household to perfection and his guests loved him for it, even his views were a little antiquated.

He was my mother’s brother so there was already a bond there of some kind, but now I had got to know him better, I was beginning to experience for the first time what it was like to have a real father.

There was no denying that Don in a little over a month, had been more of a father to me than the real one had been during the eleven years that he had held that position. I would never have experienced this in my old life, because for some reason my mom didn’t think that it was important. She always believed that I was better off without him, and he obviously thought that he was better off without me. They both must have had their reasons for doing what they did, but whatever those reasons were, they kept them to themselves, and I was left without an explanation.

Don made that day special for me just by being there and by looking so awkward and out of place in a young person’s clothes shop. He screamed out dad, and it made me laugh because he was so embarrassing, and I had never been in that situation before. He laughed with me and played the fool, much to the delight of the young sales assistants. I was horrified, when he told them that I was going on my first date that night, but they made a fuss of me, got me to try on loads of stuff and kept offering me advice on what to do and what not to do on a date. They were only a few years older than Fran and it gave me some valuable insight into the mind of a teenage girl. They all wished me luck as I left the store blushing and Don even flirted with the middle-aged cashier, which had me hiding my face in embarrassment. I thought about what he had done all the way back home in the car. He might not have realised how much those couple of hours had meant to me, but something told me that he did. As I sat next to him on the way back excitedly looking in the bags at all the new clothes that I had bought, I could see him smiling at me. I think that he really wanted me to be happy and it pleased him when he was able to see this. To catch me smiling or laughing when I didn’t know that he was watching seemed to be important to him.

“Don...I’m not sure what to say but...thank you for everything,” I said. It was a pathetic attempt at showing gratitude and I couldn’t even look at him when I said it for some reason. I think that he understood and saved me from my own incompetence by reaching over and ruffling my hair after he had parked in the garage.

“Don’t worry about it. I only drove you to the store,” he said, but it was much more than that and he knew it.

As soon as I got to the bedroom, finding I was alone, I shut the door, sat down on the bed and cried. I didn’t know why because there wasn’t any reason, it didn’t make sense but I couldn’t stop myself. I wasn’t even sure if they were tears of joy or tears of sadness because I felt both emotions at the same time. Maybe it was everything all put together and all mixed up in my head.

It didn’t last long but it wasn’t the first time that this had happened to me since arriving in Canada and it was starting to worry me. I was annoyed at myself for getting so emotional and I looked at myself in the mirror as if hoping to see something that I hadn't seen before. I wanted to see the reflection of a strong handsome man like Don, but instead what I saw was a frightened kid, who had obviously just been crying. I looked closely at my face; my puffy eyes looked red and sore and my cheeks stained from the tears and even redder than usual. My hair was too long and I looked as if I was wearing make up. I looked like a girl or even worse.

‘I look gay’!

The phone rang. It was Fran calling me to make sure that I had her address and wouldn’t be late. She sounded excited on the phone and her enthusiasm rubbed off on me, although I was probably more anxious than excited. We had a table booked and it would be the first time that I had been to a restaurant without an adult. She told me not to eat too much during the day, because we would be well fed in the evening and I was looking forward to having a proper Italian meal with all the trimmings.

The restaurant would be nice I knew that for sure. I couldn’t imagine Fran recommending somewhere tacky. She had class and there was no doubting her pedigree. Her parents were rich and she was well brought up. She would make a lovely bride for some lucky guy in the future, but it was unlikely to be me, I knew that much. However, at that moment, I was sitting on pole position and that was good enough to answer all my critics. She told me that she had only been out with one other boy before me, and that was only for two dates before she dumped him, although I didn’t ask why. I could imagine Fran being quite difficult to please and she was headstrong. She was probably a virgin too, but it wasn’t something that I wanted to dwell on for too long.

* * * * *

That evening I spent a long time getting ready and with Daniel’s help, I walked out of the bedroom probably looking as perfect as I could ever get. I was dressed casual, but smart, wearing the clothes that I had bought earlier with a little advice from the helpful sales assistants. I had on a pair of black dress pants, a white long sleeved shirt and a dark blue waistcoat. Naturally, I got a few compliments from Don and Sue and of course, Amy, who was keen to find out what was going on and who my girlfriend was. I told her that Fran wasn’t my girlfriend yet, because this was only our first date.

“How many dates do you have to have to be someone’s girlfriend?” she asked but I didn’t know. “Are you going to kiss her?”

“Amy please don’t embarrass Robbie,” said Sue. “The poor boy’s nervous enough as it is.”

“No Amy,” I said, and I was sure that I was going to be right about that.

“And if he does he’s not gonna tell you about it,” said Daniel to Amy. She tried to hit him but he skilfully dodged her laughing, until she started chasing him around the kitchen and into the living room. Then she screamed as the roles reversed and Amy came running back around laughing as Daniel chased her. It was good entertainment watching them playing together like that. It was another thing that was new to me.

Like Amy, Don and Sue were also quite keen to meet Fran and told me to invite her over for dinner. Daniel had already told them that most of the guys in school thought that she was hot, but thankfully, chose to leave out the fact that they thought that she was a lesbian.

Nicola had come downstairs to see what all the fuss was about and as expected, she came over to inspect me closer. I told her to stay away from me, but backed myself into a corner.

‘She can laugh at me all she wants, but she had better not touch me’.

I was at least expecting some kind of comment from her, about how I looked like a dork or something, but instead she surprised everybody when she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.

“Have a good time Robbie, and stop being so nervous,” she said. She didn’t understand that I had been more nervous by what I thought she was going to do, than by my date. I suppose it was a big compliment. She told me that she had seen Fran at school but didn’t really know her that well. However, she did know her older brother Philippe although she didn’t say how she knew him. This was a surprise to me because although Fran had often mentioned her younger brother and sister, she never mentioned to me that she had an older brother who Nicola seemed to think was twenty-two and a bit of a hunk.

‘I’ll be the judge of that’.

* * * * *

I left the house that evening like any other fifteen-year-old kid going on his first ever date. For me though it was much more than just my first date, because it was also my first day as a normal heterosexual boy. Nobody else knew this of course, and nobody needed to. It was a personal decision that I had made, and one that I knew was right.

I had everything all worked out and it made so much sense. What had happened with Tom in England had been brought on by the highly emotional state that I was in at the time. Tom had been so good to me, I needed someone to be close to and we were sharing the same room. It was obvious that something would happen under those circumstances but it didn’t mean that either of us was gay. It didn’t matter anyway, because nobody else would ever find out about what we did.

From that day on, I was going to be straight. It even felt good saying it. “I’m straight,” was a lot easier to say than “I’m gay.” For a start, I could say that to anybody in the world, and not have to worry about how they were going to react. Life was going to be a lot easier from now on and that was all that I wanted, to live a normal life and have a chance of being happy.

It was important for me to be accepted, it was a big thing for me, and this was especially true when it came to my new family. I wanted to be able to repay them for everything that they had done, by making them proud of me and I was sure that I could only do this if I was straight. A lot had happened recently, but it was still less than three months since my mom had passed away and it seemed like only yesterday. In that time, my life had been turned completely upside down and now I was desperate for some stability. I needed to be wanted and loved and I was sure that being gay would only serve to do the opposite.

Everyone here was telling me how well I had done and the future was looking bright. It was a time for change, and even the weather seemed to agree. The snow, which had covered everything since the first day that I got there, was now beginning to melt as the temperature edged upwards. Spring would soon be here and I couldn’t wait.

The first thing that I noticed about Fran’s house was that it wasn’t a house. Houses didn’t have that many rooms; this was more like a hotel. I had arrived exactly on time and I think I let out an audible gasp of appreciation when she opened the door and I saw her. It was the first time that I had seen her in a dress and she looked stunning. She was wearing in a knee length black dress with silver frills. It was so Fran, Sexy, without being too revealing. Suitable for a 15-year-old girl, to wear on a date. I went inside and Fran introduced me to her parents before telling me to wait in the living room while she ran upstairs to get something. I sat in a big leather armchair, in the rather fancy, oak panelled room with her dad. The room was huge and perfectly kept with cut glass ornaments and a big ornate mirror over a real fireplace.

Daniel had told me that her parents were wealthy but it wasn’t until I went to Fran’s house that I realised exactly how well off they were. I was looking at a painting on the wall opposite where I sat and her dad noticed my interest.

“It’s one of Francesca’s,” he said.

“Sorry.”

“The painting,” he said proudly. “Francesca painted it.”

I was amazed and my face must have shown this, which made him laugh. I knew that she was good, but I had no idea that she was that good and I stood up and walked over to get a better look. It was a picture of an old farmhouse, probably in Italy by the looks of it and even up close, it was brilliant. I could see him watching me as I admired his daughter’s handiwork before Fran came bounding into the room, apologising to me for keeping me waiting.

Fran was just a younger version of her mother but with slightly darker skin like her father who looked a little old and worn, but had a jovial disposition belied by an often-serious expression.

“I trust you’ll take good care of my daughter tonight,” said Mr Giordano.

“Yes Sir, of course,” I replied and he smiled to put me at ease.

“She’s very precious to me,” he said and I could see that Fran was embarrassed.

“Don’t worry daddy,” she said, Robbie is a gentleman, and even though it was a barefaced lie, I nodded.

“Enjoy yourselves and be back by eleven thirty,” he said as Fran grabbed my hand and led me out of the room.

“We will be daddy,” she said.

“Are we going now?” I asked.

“I want you to meet someone else first,” she said, and she took me into the big family room at the back of the house where a young man was lying on the sofa watching TV. He was wearing a white singlet type vest, which showed off his broad, tanned shoulders and a pair of very loose fitting jogging bottoms. He sat up as we walked into the room and Fran introduced us.

“This is my older brother Philippe,” she said, “and this is Robbie.” He reached out a hand for me to shake and smiled broadly. He obviously looked very Italian, but nothing like what I was expecting. He had short jet-black hair and the same flawless olive skin as his sister, only for some reason, it seemed to look better on him. His eyes were a beautiful deep brown and his lips, his mouth and his teeth were all perfect. He also had slight stubble, which really suited him, and I nearly passed out with excitement when I saw that he was barefoot.

It should have been obvious that he was going to look a lot like Fran. I hadn’t given it much thought beforehand and why should I? It wasn’t important what he looked like I was going to be dating his sister not him. However, at that moment if I had had to choose one of them to go out with for the night, it would have been Philippe. We shook hands and I felt a little stirring in the front of my pants.

“Hi Philippe.”

“Pleased to meet you Robbie,” he replied. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“I haven’t heard anything at all about you,” I said with a smirk and a glance towards Fran who signalled to me that it was time to leave, breaking my trance.

I would have been happy to stay there all night chatting with Philippe but we said goodbye and Fran led me down the hallway to the front door, where her mother was waiting. She smiled at me before talking to Fran in Italian.

“She was just telling me to come straight back home afterwards and not to be late,” said Fran as we walked down the pathway, but I wondered why she had to do this in Italian.

The night was fun and the restaurant was awesome. The food was really good and Fran talked me through every dish, until I couldn’t eat another thing. I had a great time and I think that Fran did too. We talked plenty and then watched the very good resident Latin band. Fran knew all the staff of course and she introduced me to them during the evening one by one. There were three waiters all in their mid-twenties and a cute young boy called Alphonso, who worked in the kitchen. He looked about a year older than I was and made a real fuss of Fran when he saw her. It was obvious that he liked her and she had to push him away a couple of times after he sat down next to her and was a little too touchy for her liking. After a while, he was ordered back to the kitchen by the restaurant owner, who had come over to our table to tell us that a taxi would be waiting outside for us at eleven o’clock. It was all arranged and paid for by Fran’s dad and would take us directly back to her house. It was obvious who was in charge and I got the feeling that he had been watching us all night somehow. Maybe he had a camera set up and trained on our table, maybe he had bugged us too and had been listening in on our conversation.

I was being a little paranoid but I was starting to wonder if Fran’s family had any connections with the mafia.

‘Maybe they were the mafia. What if Fran’s dad was the local Godfather? The wine business could be a cover for all the illegal operations’.

“My parents like you,” she said. “You're lucky they're difficult to please.”

“I’m honoured,” I said, although I wasn’t sure how she knew this. They seem like nice people, but I couldn’t get the mafia thing out of my head.”

“Do you think that you will ever go back to live there?” she asked. “I mean in England.”

“It’s difficult for me to think of Canada as my home,” I said. “But I doubt if I will ever go back to England to live. Maybe one day I will go back for a holiday to see some friends, but that’s probably it.” She seemed pleased at this answer maybe she was thinking long term.

“So do you see yourself staying in Cobourg after you leave school or do you want to move around? Canada’s a big place?”

“I haven’t really given it much thought,” I said. “Canada’s nice, but I would like to visit America,” I said. “I wanna go to California, that would be really cool, or New York City.”

“Well New York isn’t that far away, but California is on the west coast and it’s a long way from here.”

“So I’ve been told,” I said.

“Have you been to Niagara Falls yet?” she said. “They're a bit closer to home and you get there and back in a day.”

“No, but I’d like to go there, maybe we can go together one day,” I said. “That’s if you want to see me again.”

Fran smiled at me and reached out across the table to hold my hand. “Of course, I wanna see you again. But you do know that Niagara Falls is the honeymoon capital of Canada,” she said in an over the top seductive voice.

“Oh,” I said, “I just wanted to see the waterfalls.”

When it came time to leave I insisted on paying the bill, not wanting her to think that I was taking advantage of the fact that her family were rich. After all, I wasn’t exactly poor myself. Fran agreed and told me that she would pay for the hotel room when we visited Niagara Falls. She laughed when I did a double take wondering if she was being serious. As we left the owner, who I was sure by that time was on the family payroll, presented Fran with a red rose as a memento of our first date. She would probably keep this in a drawer forever as a souvenir of that night. I knew that this was what women did, but I somehow doubted if I would be around for as long as the red rose.

We arrived back at Fran’s house at a quarter past eleven and her parents were still awake. I could imagine that the restaurant owner had called them as soon as we had left. I was less nervous than I had been earlier as Fran and I sat and talked to them briefly before I left. They asked me a few questions about England and how I was finding Canada. It was the same small talk that I had with everyone, but seemed to be genuinely interested in what I had to say.

The more I observed her dad though the more he took on the persona of a mafia boss, at least in my eyes. I shook hands with him and said a polite goodnight to her mom before leaving their house and Fran followed me out onto the porch to say goodbye. It was cold and had started to rain.

‘Does she expect me to kiss her or something or should I just go? What happens on a first date’?

“You're shy around girls,” she said stating the obvious.

“Not really,” I said. “It’s just that I don’t know what to do.”

“I’ll show you then,” she said and she took the initiative by putting her arms around my waste and giving me a cuddle, while thanking me for a wonderful evening and kissing me lightly on the cheek. I had never been this close to Fran before, but it felt good. She was soft and warm and I followed her lead by putting my arms around her narrow waist.

“You can kiss me if you want,” she said, after a while and I wondered if I was supposed to have done this ages ago. I leaned towards her and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek as she had done to me. I thought that this would be about right for a first date and I was satisfied that I had at least made a positive move. However, it was nowhere near good enough for Fran who giggled a bit before moving in for a proper kiss. I was surprised as our lips met for the first time. Gently at first, then with passion as I felt her tongue invade my mouth. It wasn’t something that I was expecting but I wasn’t inexperienced either. I kissed her the way that I had done with Tom and after an apprehensive start; I soon started to get into it, moving my arms around her back as we snogged slowly but passionately for about 10 minutes. When she finally pulled herself away from me, she had a huge smile on her face so I figured that I must have done okay but I had barely enough time to think about it before she moved in for more. Then she slowly pulled away and stood away to allow me to leave.

Now I had a problem because I was hard and I had to adjust myself down there, before she noticed. She saw me, of course and found it quite amusing.

“Something wrong?” she asked. “I hope that it was nothing I did,” then she laughed.

“Well actually,” I said. “It kinda was, but it can wait.” I was getting brave and I think it surprised Fran who was now blushing.

“Well I’m not that kind of girl,” she replied, “at least not on the first date.” She gave me a teasing smile and kissed me briefly again on the lips before I left.

I thought about that kiss all the way home. It was the first time that that I had kissed a girl and I had quite enjoyed it. I had even managed to get a hard on. This would have no doubt been embarrassing for most teenagers, but I felt relieved because it proved that I was normal. When the time came, I was sure that I would be able to perform as well as the next guy. The important thing was that I had made it over the first hurdle and it wasn’t as bad as I once thought.

I wondered what Fran looked like naked. I had never seen a girl naked before, not in real life anyway. I didn’t think that there would be a great deal of difference; girls were just like boys really but without the interesting bits. It wasn’t something that I had spent much time thinking about before then. When it came to masturbating, it was usually a boy that I was thinking about, sometimes a man but never a female. For years, it was always Tom who filled my fantasies night after night and I would never tire of using him in this way. The fact that I had never once managed to do this while thinking of a female didn’t seem to worry me at all. Maybe it wasn’t important because that was all fantasy and not real life. Maybe I believed that in real life my preferences would be different. At the time, it was something that I didn’t want to think about too much. I was putting everything that I had on Fran to turn things around for me.

When I got home, the house was in darkness. It was just after midnight, but everyone had seemingly gone to bed. Everyone except for Sue that is who came downstairs to check on me.

“Did you have a nice time hun?”

“Yeah,” I said looking at the clock, “sorry I’m a little late. I walked back from Fran’s house.”

“That’s okay but next time you should get a cab, rather than walking on your own at night,” she said.

“I don’t mind, I like walking it gives me time to think, I find it therapeu … whatever.”

“Therapeutic,” she finished off for me.

“Yeah,” I laughed, “that’s it.”

“Well it’s not safe to be walking around at night, so I would rather that you took a cab even if you charge it to us. Nicola takes a cab to the end of the street rather than walk.”

‘I’m not Nicola. I’m Robbie’.

I wondered how unsafe it really was to be walking around Cobourg at night. I didn’t think that there was any street crime here. I hadn't heard anything like that on the local news. There were always reports of shootings and murders in Toronto but Cobourg didn’t seem to have much of a problem with crime. I think I only saw two people out walking on my way home and it wasn’t even late. Those who were out were usually in their cars anyway. I wouldn’t have done this in London, but I certainly didn’t fell unsafe in Cobourg. I thought that it was more a case of Sue being over protective, so I didn’t say anything except agree to get take a cab next time.

“Okay hun I’m glad you had a nice night,” and then just as I had feared she came over and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, before looking closely at my face and smiling.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“You might want to wash some of that lipstick off your face before going to bed,” she said, as she turned to go upstairs with a big grin on her face. “Goodnight honey.”

“Goodnight Sue,” I said as I rushed to the mirror in the hallway to inspect the damage.

‘Shit, I didn’t even notice that Fran was wearing lipstick’.

It wasn’t bad, but enough for Sue’s eagle eyes to notice. This was another thing that I was going to have to get used to if I wanted to date the opposite sex. Tom never wore lipstick.

I went downstairs and after a quick wash crept into the bedroom. The moonlight lit up the room enough for me to see without switching on a light. Daniel was asleep, breathing loudly in that cute way of his. It was warm in our room and his duvet was only covering the bottom half of him. He was lying on his back and as my eyes adjusted to the dark, I could see his flat chest right down past his belly button to the top of his boxers. He had a nice body and I would have given anything at that moment to be able to climb into bed next to him. I shook my head telling myself to snap out of it, before stripping off and jumping into bed.

Fran had managed to get me excited earlier and she had even seen the bulge in my pants that I had tried to hide. I tried to picture myself back there with her kissing me then I grabbed my dick and started to rub it in the familiar way that I had been doing since I was thirteen. Only this time it wasn’t working because no matter how hard I pulled it and rubbed it, I was just not getting hard. I created a fantasy in my mind where Fran was sucking me. This was better and I started to get hard but then lost concentration. I was out of breath, but all that work had amounted to nothing but frustration. I looked across the room at Daniel watching him as his chest moved gently up and down with his soft breathing. He had had the room to himself earlier while I was with Fran. It was a rare occurrence and I wondered if he had made good use of it. He had probably used the time well, jacking off with impunity not having to worry about waking me up. I could imagine him wanking that impressive tool of his and before I knew it, I was hard and ready to play. I kept my eyes fixed on Daniel’s nearly naked body as he slept peacefully less than ten feet from the bottom of my bed and it didn’t take long before I was ready to shoot. Somewhere along the line, in my fantasy, Daniel had turned into Fran’s brother Philippe and it was his image that pushed me over the edge. I would need to sort this out, but at the time, all that mattered was being able to achieve that much-needed release so I would be able to sleep. It wasn’t important how I got there; all that mattered was the end result.