Occasional Poetry - 28. Garden Variety

On 06/09/2016 01:06 AM, Valkyrie said:

I loved these, Parker. You conveyed images clearly with an economy of words. It sounds like a great day and a great way to end the day Nice job.

Thanks for your really nice thoughts, Val. Almost better than a day at the beach...

From morning thru the day till evening/night, a day in the garden. I liked them. My only thought is that I think of cinquain as following a more lyrical flow. Yours have a cadence more in tune with the way we westerners write haiku and tanka. Not a criticism just differing viewpoints.

From dawn to evening, a lovely flowering, Parker!

On 06/09/2016 01:12 AM, dughlas said:

From morning thru the day till evening/night, a day in the garden. I liked them. My only thought is that I think of cinquain as following a more lyrical flow. Yours have a cadence more in tune with the way we westerners write haiku and tanka. Not a criticism just differing viewpoints.

You're quite right; and I wrestled with the desire to pack more images (adjectives and nouns) with the wish to be less choppy and more lyrical. This time, the former won out. I am glad you enjoyed these nonetheless.

On 06/09/2016 01:12 AM, skinnydragon said:

From dawn to evening, a lovely flowering, Parker!

Thanks for reading these, and your response is very gratifying. You can tell I have some dirt under my fingernails most days.,,

Loved the entwining of two passions... sharing them throughout out a day of sun and rain. One thing remains constant... their connection. The last verse was perfect... cheers... Gary....

Like the sun and rain,
you both look just fine.
Through the morning shine,
Both enjoy your eminent domain...

Yeah, I can't resist but its a limited time. So take it as it comes.

They are very nice, especially the gardening one. I loved it. It has the more romantic aspect containing itself. The fine description of a fine sunny day turned out to be the rainy and romantic has been precisely structured here. I love the way/flow you presented the Cinquains.

Even though they look so easy to write, but its rather difficult to put it perfect. I have my set of experience with them. They have to be very carefully handled. Or otherwise they twist you so much. You have done a great job parker. And simple mistakes, if there are any, forgiven by the pure affection throughout the poems. They are really beautiful...

~Emi.

On 06/09/2016 02:10 AM, Headstall said:

Loved the entwining of two passions... sharing them throughout out a day of sun and rain. One thing remains constant... their connection. The last verse was perfect... cheers... Gary....

Dear Gary, I am so glad you liked this set. A warm day in the garden together with one's best friend, made perfect by the front coming through...my idea of a lovely day.

On 06/09/2016 05:12 AM, Emi GS said:

Like the sun and rain,

you both look just fine.

Through the morning shine,

Both enjoy your eminent domain...

 

Yeah, I can't resist but its a limited time. So take it as it comes.

 

They are very nice, especially the gardening one. I loved it. It has the more romantic aspect containing itself. The fine description of a fine sunny day turned out to be the rainy and romantic has been precisely structured here. I love the way/flow you presented the Cinquains.

 

Even though they look so easy to write, but its rather difficult to put it perfect. I have my set of experience with them. They have to be very carefully handled. Or otherwise they twist you so much. You have done a great job parker. And simple mistakes, if there are any, forgiven by the pure affection throughout the poems. They are really beautiful...

 

~Emi.

Thanks for your kind words and thoughtful review, Emi. I took a very long time with the 'downpour' Cinquain, and with the final Cinquain. The 'breakfast' one seemed to write itself. And I love your review wrapped up in a verse, too.

Loved these Parker. So visually perfect, my heart sighed in content.

On 06/09/2016 10:49 AM, Defiance19 said:

Loved these Parker. So visually perfect, my heart sighed in content.

Thank you, Def. these were a nice departure from my often melancholy mind. It must be all that vitamin D I get in the sun......I appreciate your kind response...many thanks.

You already know the effect these had on me - that on its own tells you how I regard them ...

The pictures of loving domesticity are wonderful - documenting a day spent with such affection. I think the last one is my favourite.

Thank you for these and their alchemy.

On 08/25/2016 06:58 AM, northie said:

You already know the effect these had on me - that on its own tells you how I regard them ...

 

The pictures of loving domesticity are wonderful - documenting a day spent with such affection. I think the last one is my favourite.

 

Thank you for these and their alchemy.

Thank you for leaving a comment, anyway. It is like finding a freshly opened blossom on a sunny morning. These verse pictures are far better than photos, as they stick in my mind, including far more than a camera can capture. At least, for me, that is. Thanks again!