The Cockney Canuck - 43. Chapter 43 The Rollercoaster Ride

“He has…I mean…really?” My lips were moving, forming words and asking questions, but my mind had seemingly ceased to function as normal. It was as if I had suddenly run, full pelt, into a brick wall. I stumbled over my words and my voice cracked. I was momentarily dazed and unsure if I had heard him correctly. “Who?”

“It’s so funny eh,” said Daniel and he started to laugh, but my face was deadly serious. It would have been impossible to hide my disappointment; no actor could have ever pulled that off, after receiving such a devastating blow. I wanted to stand up and leave, as my heart began to sink and my stomach tied itself into painful knots.

‘It’s not true, he wouldn’t do this to me. Would he…would he’?

“So who…who is it, anyone I know?” I asked the question, but I didn’t care to know the answer. There were uncomfortable beads of sweat forming on my forehead and my hands were clearly starting to tremble as I clasped them in front of me. I was choking up at the sudden realization that my worst nightmare was about to come true. Daniel’s smile began to fade and his expression turned from excitement to one of concern at the sight unfolding before him. There was little that I could do to stop it and I wasn’t even going to try, as I stood up and looked away from his inquisitive eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked, but my reply was mumbled and incoherent, as I walked away looking for temporary sanctuary. Anywhere would do, as long as I couldn’t be seen. I went out onto the balcony and stood leaning against the handrail, overlooking the garden. It was dark but still warm, as I stared up at the sky and bit hard on my bottom lip to stop myself from crying. Daniel had followed me outside and I cursed his good nature. I wanted to be left alone, but there was also a part of me that wanted to know. I needed to know; however badly it hurt and I turned to Daniel, thankful of the darkness that now masked my face.

“I think it’s something I ate,” I said, “I’ll be fine.”

“Go lie down,” he said, “do you want me to get mom?”

“NO! I said I’ll be fine, okay?”

“Geez,” he said, “no need to bite my head off.” With that he walked back into the house leaving me alone to my thoughts, but hungry for more information. After a few minutes, I composed myself enough to drag my hunched-up frame downstairs and take a seat on the opposite side of the couch to Daniel, who had switched on the TV.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

“Okay,” he said, but his eyes didn’t leave the TV.

“So are you gonna tell me about the party?”

“What do you wanna know?” he said, “it was good fun. Do you wanna watch this?” He pointed towards the television and I shook my head before he switched it off with the remote and walked off into the bedroom. I followed him and closed the door behind me.

“So who is it?” I asked as I sat down at my desk.

“Who’s what?” he replied, dragging his t-shirt over his head, dropping his pants and peeling off his socks in one seamless movement. He could undress quicker than anyone that I had ever met and with so little effort.

“Who’s Nathan’s boyfriend?” I asked, although it actually hurt me to say it.

“I dunno.”

“You don’t know? You mean that you never met him before; what does he look like?”

“He wasn’t there,” he said, “and Nathan won’t tell me who he is, but it’s so frigging obvious.”

“Wait a minute,” I said standing up, “so he didn’t actually introduce you to anyone? I mean, he wasn’t walking around holding hands with another guy or anything, or kissing some boy in the corner?”

“Urgh no, that would be totally gross.” said Daniel and he pulled a face to show his obvious displeasure at the thought of two boys kissing. It certainly didn’t bother me and I began to feel a little better at the thought that there was at least no physical evidence to support his claim.

“Then how do you know, I mean, that he has a boyfriend?”

“Because I know him,” he said, “and he’s been acting really strange lately, like he’s hiding something. Tonight, Ginny said something about him liking somebody and he went totally embarrassed and had to walk away.”

Now I was all ears and my mood had changed dramatically, as I afforded myself a smile, followed by an impromptu laugh. I tried to hide my face as I felt myself starting to blush and then picked up my pillow and threw it across the room at him.

“Like somebody?” I said, smirking at him, “dickhead. you don’t know anything do you? It’s just gossip.” I sat on my bed and shook my head, as a huge wave of relief began to wash over me. I had no reason to doubt that Daniel was right in his assumption, but unless there was some boy out there, who he had somehow managed to sneak under the radar, there was a good chance that his mystery boyfriend was none other than yours truly. I could have been wrong, but it was entirely plausible and after briefly plummeting to the depths of despair, it was enough to send my mood back into orbit.

Daniel threw my pillow back at me, before sitting back on his bed, crossed legged. He was giggling too and he waited until he had my full attention, before revealing the next bit of juicy gossip. With my nerves now replaced by a tingle of excitement, I waited, eager and hungry for more, as he hit me with the coup d’état.

“I asked him straight up,” he said, “and he didn’t deny it.”

“Bloody hell,” I said, “so it’s true. But is it just a boy that he has the hots for, or are they actually, like you know, seeing each other?” It was still a little early but I started undressing for bed, if only to keep myself occupied. I couldn’t stop myself from laughing as I pulled off my t-shirt and then wiped my brow with it, before throwing it in the laundry basket.

“I dunno,” he said, “there are plenty of boys that he likes, but I’ve never seen him this way before. It’ll be really weird to see him with somebody though; I never thought that he would actually do something like that.”

I laughed as I stood up and took off my sweat pants. “It was gonna happen sooner or later you know, Nathan’s a good looking boy and he’ll be a magnet for any gay kid.”

“I didn’t know there were any other gay kids out there,” he said.

“You’d probably be surprised. So have you any idea who it may be,” I asked, “do you think that it’s someone who goes to our school?”

“I’m not in all his classes, but I think that it’s someone from his drama club, you know, it makes sense.”

“Do you think that he would have said anything to Ginny then?”

“Probably, he seems to tell her everything nowadays. She’s the one who brought it up.”

“Maybe, he shouldn’t then.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t trust her, that’s for sure.” It made me wonder exactly how much Nathan had told his friend Ginny and if he had mentioned any names to her. I was still speculating on all this of course, but I couldn’t help wondering if there was another girl out there, who I would have to rely on to keep my secret in the near future. I cringed at the thought of her possibly having some kind of hold over me. She had made it clear from the very beginning that she didn’t particularly like me and I had always assumed that this was because she saw me as a rival for Nathan’s attention.

‘Would Nathan have told her that he liked me’?

That would have been acceptable, but I couldn’t help from wondering if he had unintentionally revealed anything else. I was certain that Nathan wouldn’t have deliberately put our special friendship in jeopardy, before it had the opportunity to blossom into something more meaningful. However, Ginny was an unknown quantity to me and if Daniel was right about her, I had every reason to be wary of this girl. It was something that I chose not to dwell on for too long. After all, this was still a lot more preferable, than the problems that I thought was facing less than half an hour previous. I was now convinced that Nathan’s mystery boyfriend, who just moments earlier, had soared to the top of my hate list and caused me to believe that my life was over, was in fact me.

I wasn’t sure anymore, whether I wanted to laugh or cry, because I felt like doing both and at the same time. I honestly could have killed Daniel for putting me through all that pain, but as my body struggled to catch up with the raging emotions coursing through me, I had an overwhelming compulsion to reach out and hug him. Thankfully, I resisted the urge, fearful of how it would look, especially as I was now in a similar state of undress.

‘I can’t believe he just put me through all that shit’.

“It is quite funny I guess,” I admitted, anxious to explain away the ridiculous and sloppy smile that was now plastered across my face.

“Are you going to bed now?” he asked.

“No, I’m not tired yet.”

“Then why did you get undressed?”

“Because you did, I suppose.” He gave me a sideways glance and a strange look. I knew that Daniel never needed an excuse to rip off his clothes once indoors and especially in the relative privacy of his bedroom.

“You tidied up in here, didn’t you?” he said accusingly.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

“I thought you wasn’t feeling well?”

“Whatever it was, must have passed,” I said, “it was probably having to pick up your dirty underwear that made me ill.”

“You’re weird!”

He was right of course, but I doubted if he could have ever understood just how much of a rollercoaster ride, his gossip had led me on. As harmless and funny as it must have seemed to him, I felt as if I had just been walked to the gallows, only to be pardoned at the last minute, before the hangman could release the trap door. I had never before experienced such fervent emotional extremes in such a short period of time.

‘Maybe I have some kind of bi-polar disorder’.

* * * * *

I spent the next three days cooped up in the house and trying to keep my balance on the skateboard that Daniel had loaned me, to practice with, on the back patio. It was a lot more difficult than I had anticipated and I came off more times than I was prepared to admit to him, when he came home on Sunday afternoon. It was another activity that Daniel had me well beaten at and I was actually pleased that my punishment had prevented me from joining him at the local skate park, where I would have been totally embarrassed by kids less than half my age.

Don had informed me earlier that I was no longer grounded after that day, but it brought little enthusiasm out of me, now that I had absolutely no plans to go anywhere. I had wanted to call Nathan and tell him, but the weekend was over and seen as he hadn’t called me since the night of his party, I held off, scared in case he thought that I was bugging him.

I had, of course been thinking of him nonstop and about what Daniel had said, although nothing more had been mentioned. At lunchtime on Monday, Nathan was sitting with Ginny and another girl, who I didn’t recognize. There was certainly no sign of any potential boyfriend and this helped me relax a little, as I walked close enough to their table for Nathan to wave me over.

“Hi Robbie, come and sit down dude,” he said, which was exactly what I was hoping for. I had nowhere else to go, other than to sit with Fran and her friend Laura, which I didn’t want to do. Rory wasn’t at school that day and there was no room left at Daniel’s table. “You look kinda lost,” he said as he shuffled along and created a space next to him. He smiled sweetly, as he pulled over a chair from the next table and patted the plastic seat, motioning for me to plonk myself down.

“Thanks,” I said, “I don’t know where to sit nowadays.”

“I heard that you’re not with Fran anymore,” said Ginny and I must have looked a little surprised that she was actually talking to me. I nodded to confirm what she had just said, but it was Nathan of course, who held my attention.

“So you’ll just have to sit with us from now on, right?” he said and he beamed a toothy smile at me. The other girl agreed with him, but Ginny made sure not to comment on the invitation. It didn’t matter, I knew that he wasn’t asking for anyone else’s permission and his eyes stayed firmly fixed on me. I smiled back at him and shrugged my shoulders, as I took my seat and dived into my tuna sandwich. It was non-committal, I know, but I wasn’t sure if I was prepared to jump straight into the deep end like that. Even though I would have gladly spent every hour of every day, in the company of this incredible boy, splitting with Fran to take up a permanent lunchtime residence next to Nathan, would have definitely raised a few eyebrows amongst the gossip hungry students of Stephenson. That was something that I was anxious to avoid at all costs, but I also knew that the temptation was going to prove difficult for me to resist.

“I’m so rude,” he said stretching his arm across the table towards the girl who sat opposite, “have you met Natalie, she’s my partner?”

“Lab partner,” she countered shyly, but I wasn’t conned by his tomfoolery and smiled at her with a mouthful of sandwich. She was a lot prettier than the ever-morose looking Ginny, who sat on the other side of me and she looked younger even than Nathan.

“Hello,” I said finally, after swallowing, “I’m Robbie.”

“I know,” she said, “you’re Nicola’s brother.”

‘Here we go again, why always Nicola’.

It was something that always managed to get my back up and it had become so predictable. I was always being referred to as Nicola’s brother or cousin and it bothered me. It always sounded as if she somehow owned me, like I belonged to her. As far as I knew, nobody ever referred to her as Robbie’s relative, not even in my year or class. She was always just Nicola and I was always her brother, her cousin, or her family. Whatever I was; I was hers.

“I’m also Daniel’s brother,” I said, feeling the need to give him some credit too, after all, she probably knew him better than Nicola, being in the same year.

“Robbie’s from England,” said Nathan and he put his bare arm across my back resting his hand on my shoulder, as if he were showing me off in some way. I was wearing a baggy t-shirt, with a wide neck and his thumb was against my skin. It was only the slightest of un-clothed, physical contact, but it sent a jolt of excitement through my teenage body, hungry for his touch. I resisted the urge to turn my face towards him, knowing that he was watching me and my eyes darted around the packed cafeteria instead, searching for disapproving looks. It lasted no more than a few seconds, before he withdrew his arm and I missed his warmth, the moment that it left me.

“Yes, I know,” said Natalie and it took a few seconds for my brain to re-join the conversation. I wondered what else she knew about me. Four months in and the novelty status still hadn’t quite worn off.

“And he hasn’t got a girlfriend anymore,” said Ginny and I was sure that I detected a slight smile on her face, aimed at me. Natalie was smiling too, but looked away from me shyly, towards her food.

“I’m not really looking for another relationship just yet,” I said, feeling the need to make that perfectly clear from the beginning. “It’s too soon.”

“Is that so?” said Ginny. I wasn’t sure what she meant by that, but I was reluctant to get involved in any mind games with her.

“Leave him alone,” said Nathan, quick to my defence, “girlfriends suck anyway.” There was an uneasy silence, as the three of us simultaneously turned to stare at him. He blushed and covered his open mouth in a blatantly over-the-top display of shock. “I didn’t mean it like that.” Knowing Nathan however, I wasn’t too sure, but his expression, voice and timing were all pure comedy and got him a well-deserved laugh from his audience.

‘Fran certainly sucked’.

“How are things at home?” asked Nathan with a quick recovery. “Are you still grounded?”

“No, not anymore.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah.”

“Robbie was grounded,” he said, talking to the girls.

“Only for a week,” I replied.

“He got drunk.”

“Only a little.”

“Not what I heard.”

“Who’s your informer?”

“The same guy that you use,” he said and he gave me a cheeky smile. Natalie and Ginny were following our conversation and moving their heads like fans at a tennis match, but they looked as lost as I was. At the end of lunch, I agreed to sit with them again the following day. It was fun and his company was irresistible and addictive, if a little dangerous.

I needed to be alone with him though and I knew that I would get my chance on Thursday at the bus stop, after our extra classes. This time I was determined to get the job done and had made up my mind to sort things out with him, one way or another. There would be no more chickening out, or lost opportunities and no longer anything to hold me back, like Fran, or being grounded. Nathan had clearly been giving me the green light from the very beginning of our friendship, in fact he couldn’t have been more obvious about it, if he had tried. There had been a window of opportunity for me, where it probably would have been a whole lot easier and maybe that perfect time had passed, but there was nothing so far in Nathan’s tones to suggest that the window had closed. The way that I saw it; there was still a good chance that I would be able to make it through, before it was pulled shut. Just like Indiana Jones; I would be able to roll through that portcullis of rock, before it slammed shut on me and still have enough time to retrieve my hat. Okay, it wasn’t quite as dramatic as that, but as far as I was concerned, the consequences of failure were equally as gloomy. To be locked out of Nathan’s heart would be no less of a disaster than being locked in the temple of doom. My life would be over; there would be nothing left worth getting out of bed for and the thought of having to lay my eyes on his beauty every day, without ever being able to get close to him, would have been an impossible task. I would rather have been dead, than suffer that kind of agony, such was my growing infatuation with this boy and everything connected with him.

He was now taking up a good ninety percent of my thoughts, day and night and there was nothing that I was able to do to stop it. If anyone could have read my mind at that time, I’m certain that I would have been locked up, or committed to a mental institution. Those thoughts were not all impure, but I had a pretty good imagination and enough sexual experience to be able to conjure up some quite realistic fantasies. There was nothing that I knew of, seen or read about, which I hadn’t imagined doing to him, or him to me. I could recall having a similar type of obsession with Tom, back in England, but this was a hundred time worse. Even so, I was certain that just like then, if I kept plugging away, I would get my opportunity.

* * * * *

I had rehearsed my lines a thousand times during the days leading up to Thursday and had even taken time the night before to choose the right clothes to wear. I was nervous, but confident, as I sat with Daniel in the basement watching the baseball.

Earlier that day at lunch, I had passed up the opportunity to sit with him, so that I could make a quick dash to the cinema in the mall and buy two tickets for the Friday showing of ‘Date Night’. It was the movie that I knew he had been looking forward to seeing and Friday was the first day of its release in Canada. I figured that with two tickets already bought and paid for, it was going to be difficult for him to say no. The plan was to give them to him as a belated birthday present, the next day at the bus stop and of course, he would know exactly what it meant.

At least that was the idea, but with Nathan, things rarely, if ever seemed to go to plan and I should have realized this, when the phone rang and everything in my world, went tits up.

“Hi,” I said, jumping up from the couch that I was sharing with Daniel and walking towards the back door, which was open except for the screen. “I wasn’t expecting you to call.” Nathan was gigging on the other end, as I made my way onto the patio. “How are you geezer?”

“I’m good geezer,” he replied, mimicking my accent, “had any hot baths lately?”

If there was ever a sentence that was absolutely guaranteed to give me an instant erection, it was that one, and coming from him! I giggled nervously and began walking up the garden, away from the house. It was a warm spring evening and I could feel the heat already burning in my cheeks, as I tried to think of something funny, but first of all I had to stop smiling.

“Not since last week,” I said, “on your birthday.”

“Wow, I’m impressed,” he said, “I could never go that long between baths.”

“Yeah,” I said, “it’s hard,” and I giggled into the phone.

“I’m not surprised.” I was expecting that one and we both laughed at the naughty connotations.

“What about you?” I asked.

“I’m having one now,” he replied and I nearly dropped the phone.

‘He didn’t really just say that, did he’?

“You mean a bath?”

“Of course, what did you think I meant?” he said, but I didn’t answer.

“Is there room for two?”

‘Oh my God, I can’t believe I just said that to him’.

“Sure,” he said, but you’d better get over here quick, before the water gets cold.”

“If you’re in it Nathan, then it’s gonna stay hot forever,” I said.

‘That was so naff’.

He laughed and I followed suit, as I continued my way up the hill, towards the back of the garden. “You say the sweetest things,” he said.

“I dunno about that, it sounded pretty corny to me.”

“Yeah it was,” he agreed.

“You’re not really in the bath are you?” I said, unconvinced. It didn’t sound as if he was, there wasn’t the echo that you usually got from a bathroom.

“You don’t believe me.”

“No,” I said, playfully, “prove it by making a splash.”

He laughed and then relented. “Okay, I’m not really in the bath, but I’m gonna have one in a minute.”

“Wow,” I said, “will it be a hot one?”

“Oh yeah,” he said slowly and in a very seductive voice. “It’s gonna be a very, very, very…hot one.”

‘Fucking hell, I think I just squirted in my pants’.

“Can I listen?”

“Sorry dude, but I know you have a good imagination.”

“I don’t know about that, but I have a very dirty one.”

“Well you need to wash it then, don’t you?” he said and I had to laugh again as I began rubbing the front of my pants.

“Maybe I’ll have a bath then after all,” I said.

“You’ll feel a lot better for it,” he said, “a week is way too long to go…between baths.” I needed to change the conversation quickly, before I started jerking off in the garden, in broad daylight. If I had got caught doing that, then I would definitely have been grounded for the next thirty years.

“So,” I said, “will I see you at the bus stop tomorrow afternoon?”

“Not if I see you first dude.”

“What?”

“Only kidding, yeah of course I’ll be there.”

“Cool, will you be on your own?”

“No.”

“Oh,” I said, unable to hide my disappointment, “who else will be there?”

“You, stupid.”

“Jerk!”

“I’ll save that for the bath,” he said.

“You have no idea what you’re doing to me mate.”

“No I don’t,” he said, “but I wouldn’t mind finding out.” It was the clearest hint yet and he couldn’t have been any more obvious.

‘He’s making a move on me’.

I was short of breath and my legs were weak, but not just from walking up the hill. I tried to calm myself and reply, as my heart thumped in my chest, but my throat was dry and I was having trouble forming the words.

“Well…I think…think that can be arranged,” I said but my voice cracked. I was trying my best to sound seductive, but it came out an octave higher than normal and I probably sounded more like a little kid.

“Cool,” he said, resisting any urge to laugh at my vocal anomaly.

“Yeah,” I said and I turned away to cough and clear my throat.

“Robbie.”

“Yeah.”

“You do like me right?”

“Yeah…of course I….”

“No, I mean like me as in…you know, like me?”

“Yes, you…you know I do,” I said, “I like you more than anything else that I’ve ever…ever liked.

“Wow, I’m flattered,” he said laughing.

“Sorry, that sounded really dumb.”

“No,” he said, “I get it and I’m pretty sure I feel the same way, so why don’t we quit fooling around and go on a date or something?”

I immediately fell to my knees in the long grass. My jaw dropped and my mouth stayed open; I wanted to yell, shout, holla or make any kind of noise, but nothing came out. I stopped breathing as I replayed his words, searching for the pun. I waited a few anxious seconds, almost expecting him to make a joke of it, but there was no punchline.

“Yeah,” I said trying to sound cool and calm, but failing miserably. “I was thinking err the same…you know…the same kinda thing. Really…do you err mean that…for real?” He was laughing as I made a fool of myself again, tripping over my words. My voice trembled with emotion and relief.

“It makes sense, right?”

‘I don’t believe it. Nathan’s just asked me out on a date. Like a proper date, him and me. Oh my God, he beat me to it’.

I sat down and then fell backwards, to lie in the grass, looking up at the clear sky. I laughed into the phone and I couldn’t stop. It was as if all my Christmases had come at once and I was certain at the time that I had to be the luckiest and the happiest person alive. All my prayers had been answered and all of my dreams had come true in the space of just a few precious minutes, talking to the most utterly-gorgeous person that I had ever feasted my hungry eyes upon. I was sure that Hollywood moments like those could only ever happen once in any lifetime and I was going to treasure every second of it and hold onto it for as long as I possibly could.

“Are you still there?” he asked, but he was giggling, so I guessed that he knew that I was.

“Yeah,” I said and I laughed with him. “Sorry, you’re gonna have to give me a few moments to recover mate. I’m in shock you know.”

“Really,” he said, “I don’t bite, honest…not unless you want me to.” I laughed and squeezed my legs together. My free hand had already found its way back to the bulge at the front of my pants.

‘Please, don’t do this to me’.

“I was gonna surprise you,” I said, “tomorrow at the bus stop, but now you’ve gone and ruined it for me.”

“Oh…sorry,” he mumbled and I wanted to hug him.

“No, don’t be sorry, you numpty, I love you for it,” I said. “You totally stole my thunder, but it was the coolest thing ever…and…and.”

“What?”

“And I have two tickets to see ‘Date Night’ at the pictures on Friday…if you want to that is?”

“Oh wow,” he said, “you do…how did you even know? I don’t know what to say.”

“How about yes?” I said.

“Well of course yes, but I don’t know what else to say…you know, oh whatever. I really wasn’t expecting that; this is so cool.”

“You’re cool Nathan and I’m so happy that you called.” I wanted to tell him exactly how I felt, but I thought it best to keep my dreamy, goofy thoughts to myself, in case he considered me mad.

“So ‘Date Night’ is gonna be our date night? That’s what this is right, a date, you and me?”

“That’s what I was hoping, if you want that is?”

“Yeah, that’s what I want…really I do.”

“Cool.”

“Yeah cool.”

“Super cool.”

“Yeah super cool.”

“Can I sit at your table again tomorrow?”

“You can sit on my lap if you want.”

“Be careful what you wish for mate,” I said. “Oh and that reminds me, can I ask you something personal?”

“You don’t waste any time, do you? We’ve only been going out for like a minute.”

‘Does he mean that, are we really going out now’?

“I just wanted to know what you wished for when you blew out your candles last week. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“I’m not going to either,” he said, “that would be telling, but some of it came true tonight. We’ll have to wait and see about the rest.”

“Oh,” I said, “that’s cool.”

“Maybe.”

“Definitely. So I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Yeah, bye cutie.”

“Bye Nathan.”

‘He called me cutie and we’re going on a date…this Friday’.

I sat up in the grass with a huge grin across my face and a big lump at the front of my pants. I knew that neither one would go away any time soon and wondered how on earth I was going to be able to walk back indoors and act as if nothing had happened. When I stood up and brushed myself down, I had to laugh as I realized that I was still wearing my socks, which like my t-shirt, were now covered in grass stains. I walked back down the hill and then stopped half way to peel them off and run barefoot back to the house, to jump in the bath.

* * * * *

The next day despite all the distractions, I managed to get my work completed way before my extra math class had finished and spent the last quarter of an hour watching the clock and counting down the final minutes before I would get to see him again in the flesh, alone. As soon as the class was dismissed, I hurried past the teacher and out into the corridor, heading for the bus stop. It had become a well-rehearsed routine for me and I was getting quicker each time, shaving off precious seconds from my previous best. On this occasion however, I was no more than a few metres from the classroom, when I was halted in my tracks, by a familiar voice.

“Hey Robbie wait up dude,” he said and I stopped and spun on a sixpence.

“Nathan, hi, I was just. Hey how did you find my class?” I said.

“Oh that was really difficult,” he said, “I had to ask somebody.” He was laughing as he caught me up. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Mind, no not at all, why would I mind?”

“Well you look like you’re in a rush dude, do you need to get home quick or something?”

“No,” I said, “what made you think that?”

“Just the way that you ran out of your class,” he said. “When people do that, they’re usually in a rush to get somewhere.”

I gave him a bashful smile. “Not anymore,” I said as we walked together towards my locker.

“That’s cool,” he said.

“What is?” I asked.

“It’s cool that you're no longer in a rush to get somewhere.”

“Oh yeah that,” I said and smiled nervously, which he returned with interest, making me go weak at the knees. I was desperately trying to think of something to say and then we both started to talk at the same time. “Sorry, you first.”

“No after you,” he insisted.

“I was just gonna ask you if your drama class finished early today,” I said.

“Oh I see, no actually it didn’t. The class was cancelled today, our teacher’s ill.”

“So there wasn’t a class?” I asked.

“Nope, it’s a bummer eh.”

“Bloody right it is,” I said. We had reached my locker and I quickly opened it to grab my jacket and backpack. “So why didn’t you go home?”

“Because I didn’t want to, I needed to see you.” I was putting my jacket on, but then I froze for a second, looking him in the eyes and started to panic.

‘Shit he can’t make it tomorrow. He’s gonna tell me that he has to cancel. I knew it’.

It was the only reason that I could think of, why he needed to see me tonight, when I had sat with him at lunch and we were supposed to be seeing each other tomorrow.

“What’s up dude, you look like you’ve just seen a ghost?” he said.

“What did you want to see me about?” I asked him.

“Nothing important, I just wanted to see you, that’s all. Like I always do on Thursday. Is that okay?”

I breathed a sigh of relief and smiled broadly at him as we faced each other in the now empty corridor. “Bloody hell, I thought for a minute that you were going to cancel tomorrow.” I was hit by a wave of guilt, for even considering that. “You got me all worried that’s all.”

“You mean cancel our date?” he asked, and I nodded as he laughed. “No way, I’m not letting you get away that easy.”

“Good,” I said, “because I don’t want to…get away from you that is, not ever.” I looked into his big blue eyes and for once, it was he who looked away first and started to blush. I wasn’t sure if it was the bright school lights, or if he was just becoming more beautiful by the day, but I had this overwhelming desire to just reach out and touch him.

“Forever is a long time dude, you might regret that,” he said, as his eyes came back to meet mine.

“We’ll see, I’m not in any rush,” I said as I tentatively reached out my hand towards his. I felt him twitch nervously as I held his soft palm between us and it surprised me. It was as if all his usual confidence had suddenly deserted him, as he looked around us, but he made no attempt to pull away. After a few seconds, I decided to let go and he seemed a little relieved, as he began walking towards the stairs.

“I’m sorry,” he said as I caught him up, “I wanna hold hands with you, I really do, but not here, in school. It’s too risky and there are cameras everywhere.”

“It’s okay,” I said, “I get it…I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be, I think that it’s really sweet that you want to hold my hand…and I wanna hold yours too, but….” He stopped suddenly as we passed one of the cleaners at the bottom of the stairs, neither of us had seen her, but she gave us a suspicious look and it was clear that she had caught at least the tail end of our conversation. As soon as we fell out of the main doors and into the bright sunny car park, we both burst into fits of laughter.

“See what I mean,” he said, “do you realize how that sounded?”

“All you said was you wanted to hold mine too, what’s wrong with that?”

“That was probably Mr Andrews in disguise.”

“No, I think it was Miss Pringle.”

“Oh my God, that’s too funny eh?” he said and we laughed all the way to the bus stop, which as usual was deserted. We sat next to each other on the small plastic seats and he leaned into me.

“Thanks for waiting for me, that was really cool of you to do that,” I said.

“You don’t think it’s silly?”

“No mate, not at all. Actually, if you wanna know the truth, you're the reason why I was in such a rush to leave my class,” I confessed. “I’ve been thinking about you all afternoon and I couldn’t wait to see you again. Do you think that’s silly?”

He turned his head to look into my eyes. “No,” he said, “I think it’s awesome…thank you.”

“I’ve been legging it out of that class every week, so that I could spend as much time with you as possible,” I said and turned away as I felt myself blushing for England.

“Robbie,” he said, “look at me.” I felt a little embarrassed as I turned my head around, but when I did, his face was directly in front of mine. He leaned forward and planted a quick and gentle kiss on my lips, before moving away with a bashful smile and a naughty giggle. “That’s what you get for being so sweet,” he said and his blush was matching mine as we waited for our respective buses. I smiled and licked my lips, hoping to get a taste of him, maybe a taste of things to come.

‘I wonder if he’ll want to kiss me tomorrow, in the cinema’?

I didn’t want to even think about it, or I would never have been able to get off my seat.

‘If my bus comes along first and I have to stand up before him, It’ll be so embarrassing. I’ll probably poke his eye out’.

I thought again of Miss Pringle and closed my legs tightly, as I felt his hand covering mine. In the relative safety of the bus shelter and in a town where nobody walked and few people used the transit system, we laced our fingers together and squeezed each other’s sweaty palms. We smiled, but said nothing, as we scanned the horizon for any possible intruders into our increasingly secretive little world. I would have happily waited for hours for that bloody bus.