Web Guys - 10. Chapter 10

Looking

From Looking: Looking for honest, intelligent, dominant men.

From Alan: Unfortunately, I’m neither honest nor intelligent. But you have a nice body.

From Looking: Sir, Thank you. What are your best qualities then? Wit, sex, domination?

From Alan: Half wit. It’s fun to make a guy laugh when you’re slowly exploring his body.

From Looking: But since, according to your own admission, you are neither intelligent or honest, how are you going to know what to explore in the first place? O what to do if you find spmething? lol... Also, since you are not honest, please tell me of your latest ponzi schemes (I promise I won’t tell the FBI) and how you spent the money? Also, what are you doing in Iowa? I thought the state was just one big corporate corn and wheat farm controlled by manipulative intelligent conniving men from the East? lol....

From Alan: My fingers run instinctively to a guy’s most interesting parts. It doesn’t take intelligence. And I’m too dumb to run a Ponzi scheme though I invested all my money in Mary Kay cosmetics. And I like Iowa. I know a lot of hardworking, independent Iowa farmers, some of who are fun to play with.

From Looking: Mary Kay cosmetics? You must use the product, otherwise how would you know about it....You must be a politician...limited intelligence, not honest... hmmmmm... closeted? lol...I am afraid to ask but what do you do for a living? Those poor independent farmers...after they get through with you and your Mary Kay cosmetics, they probably can’t wait to sell out.....

From Alan: I’m the President of the United States.

From Looking: An escapee from a mental institution! Delusional, psychotic and probably bipolar. Yikes! Run for the hills.....

From Alan: I’ll have the First Lady talk with you about your concerns.

From Looking: Oh no. Not politically correct First Lady torture! I’ll get butt fucked, take the whip, suck your toes, and kiss your ass before I put up with that....Are you a "log cabin" republican?

From Alan: No, I’m President of the United States. What part of that did you forget?

From Looking: More like a queen I’d say... lol...which queen are you?????

From Alan: The FBI is full of a lot of straight guys and a bunch of humorless gay guys. That might excite you. But I guess you’ll find out once they start investigating you.

From Looking: Are you are with the FBI? How do you know so much about them?

From Alan: Once again – I’m President of the United States. I didn’t know that much about the FBI until I was elected. But then I learned a lot.

From Looking: Sorry but you have given yourself away. You are the perfect FBI agent. Your boring straight laced clothing in that photo you sent is exactly how an FBI agent would dress... no gay man online would ever dress like you have for your photo...do you wear a gun? Is it the standard FBI issue? Handcuffs? Have you ever shot anyone? Sexually taken advantage of someone while in the capacity of your position? As you can tell, I am going insane with the possible fantasies......

From Alan: Try to imagine yourself kneeling in the same spot Monica Lewinsky did, in a small room just off the Oval Office.

From Looking: Sir, to follow along with this delusional fantasy of yours, you need to ditch the FBI outfit and show me some cock. Those clothes wouldn’t even pass for last year’s Halloween costume? lol... And I forgot to give you my latest mantra. It is short and sweet. Show me the dick! Show me the dick! Show me the dick!.........

From Alan: Thanks, but I’ve long since passed the point where I have to be even partly naked to be interesting.

From Looking: It is not a matter of intellectual interest, creativity, or thoughtfulness, but it is a matter of pure animalistic chemistry. Without the former, we would not have continued this long chat. You must be worried about your FBI pension. lol........

From Alan: No. No one sees me naked online. It’s unbecoming a public official.

From Looking: What a pity...no transparency or openness in government...no wonder our politicians are so corrupt...then off with your head! lol....

From Alan: You seem to have transparency transposed with indecency. That’s understandable, coming from a guy who seems to be soliciting presidential dick.

From Looking: Or dickhead....but they’re all dickheads.

From Alan: The FBI boys will go after you for that.

From Looking: Why? I’m only threatening to blow you...not blow you up.

From Alan: You shouldn’t say that even here.

From Looking: Now you are making me nervous.

From Alan: As you should be.

From Looking: I may wet my pants.

From Alan: You’d probably enjoy it.

From Looking: No, actually...that’s not one of my things

From Alan: Maybe the FBI will make it one of your things.

From Looking: My Favorite Things? Actually, boys in black jackets come pretty high.

From Alan: There are so many things I could say to that.

From Looking: Come? White jackets? Yellow jackets?

From Alan: Safety harnesses.

From Looking: Now you’re teasing me.

From Alan: Well, before the men in white coats come to take you away, I’m signing off.

From Looking: Can I watch the men in white coats come?

From Alan: Yeah. You do that. ‘Night.

From Looking: Good Night, Mr. President...I’ve always wanted to say that. Happy birthday to you...happy birthday to you...happy birthday Mr. President......