Web Guys - 35. Chapter 35

Texas Visitor

From Alan: You look like my former assistant. And that’s a compliment.

From Texas Visitor: Was your assistant a fun guy?

From Alan: Yes, very. And very straight and married.

From Texas Visitor: Definitely not straight and married here!!

From Alan: Well, I am – married that is. So I suspect you’re not interested. But here’s my photo.

From Texas Visitor: You look just like a DILTF.

From Alan: You’ll have to explain that. I hope it’s not an insult.

From Texas Visitor: Dad I’d Like To Fuck. No insult at all.

From Alan: I thought Texas guys had pretty good manners.

From Texas Visitor: Yes, sir. And I don’t mean that in a sexual context.

From Alan: Good.

From Texas Visitor: As for your being married. Different strokes. What ever makes you happy. I don’t judge.

From Alan: Yeah, I learned to stop doing that years ago, in college, when guys kept saying, "Make up your mind -- Which way do you want to go?"

From Texas Visitor: I’m actually more comfortable in mixed groups, but I love men.

From Alan: I seem to like men and women equally. Though I wouldn’t have sex with any woman but my wife.

From Texas Visitor: Men are pigs but fun to fuck with. And that’s a GOOD thing. LOL

From Alan: I don’t necessarily think guys are pigs. But they sure can be cute when they’re focused on only one thing. You having fun in Iowa?

From Texas Visitor: I’m here for a conference. I’ve been here before.

From Alan: Where are you from?

From Texas Visitor: Austin. At least I teach there. I was raised in a small town in east Texas.

From Alan: You here for the writer’s conference?

From Texas Visitor: I’ll come any time they ask me.

From Alan: That’s quite a compliment.

From Texas Visitor: I’m just a good teacher. I’ll never earn a living as a writer.

From Alan: You don’t know that.

From Texas Visitor: By now, I do.

From Alan: You’re only my age. Don’t give up.

From Texas Visitor: I’m not giving up at all. I get published in the literary magazines. I’ve won awards. But you can’t live on that.

From Alan: So you teach.

From Texas Visitor: Fortunately, I like teaching.

From Alan: I did, too. But I suspect you’re on the college level.

From Texas Visitor: What did you teach?

From Alan: High school English.

From Texas Visitor: LOL.

From Alan: But I never wanted to write. I liked to read and appreciate. Still do.

From Texas Visitor: What do you do now?

From Alan: I’m still in education. Higher up.

From Texas Visitor: Oh, Lord.

From Alan: It’s not that bad.

From Texas Visitor: I’ve never met anyone as unhappy as deans.

From Alan: Why?

From Texas Visitor: There’s so much they don’t understand.

From Alan: I hope I’m not that bad.

From Texas Visitor: Of course, that’s only my point of view. As the one asking for money.

From Alan: It’s tight for arts.

From Texas Visitor: It ought to be looser for writing programs. They’re cash cows. No overhead. Everyone thinks they can write. My classes are packed.

From Alan: Then what’s the problem?

From Texas Visitor: Deans. I told you.

From Alan: Public schools don’t have cash cows. We have taxes and sports.

From Texas Visitor: Sports pay.

From Alan: Not as much as you’d think. But they’re popular.

From Texas Visitor: It’s fun to watch the athletes. When I was teaching before Austin, I had an office that overlooked the college football field and track. Guys in shorts running with their shirts off. Amazing I got any work done.

From Alan: You like younger guys?

From Texas Visitor: I like looking at them. Like looking at the guys in my classes. But I don’t sleep with students. I’d lose my job.

From Alan: And you like your job.

From Texas Visitor: Very much.

From Alan: I’m occasionally in a high school locker room. Of course, everyone assumes I’m completely straight. I try not to look.

From Texas Visitor: Even the ugliest kid doesn’t know what a good body he has.

From Alan: I wouldn’t go that far. I’ve seen some pretty ugly kids.

From Texas Visitor: You could get fired for saying that.

From Alan: Never should have put it in writing.

From Texas Visitor: But I know what you mean. There are guys that you just hope will grow out of it. So many of them are still changing in college. Then you look around and see them as adults, and you just want to say “Thank god I’m not that funny looking.”

From Alan: You’re not close to funny looking.

From Texas Visitor: Kind of you to say that.

From Alan: I told you you looked like my former assistant.

From Texas Visitor: The straight and married one.

From Alan: Yeah.

From Texas Visitor: Would you have slept with him if he wasn’t?

From Alan: I wouldn’t sleep with an assistant. I never have sex with anyone close to school.

From Texas Visitor: Am I far enough away?

From Alan: I have very few ties to the university.

From Texas Visitor: Why?

From Alan: Different sets of problems. I still know some of the counselors, and some of the deans

From Texas Visitor: Too bad. LOL.

From Alan: They’re doing their best.

From Texas Visitor: They all ought to be shot.

From Alan: Then you’re lining me up against that wall.

From Texas Visitor: Maybe I’d pardon you. If you became my slave for life.

From Alan: You into that?

From Texas Visitor: Not in any way. Twas an easy joke.

From Alan: Good.

From Texas Visitor: But I would like to fuck you.

From Alan: You don’t know what’s under the suit in my picture.

From Texas Visitor: I’d like to fuck you in that suit.

From Alan: Ah, one of those guys.

From Texas Visitor: I’d fuck you out of the suit, too.

From Alan: So it’s not just a thing you have for administrators.

From Texas Visitor: Yeah, I’m a closet dean fucker. LOL.

From Alan: Have you ever fucked one?

From Texas Visitor: Yeah, actually. Well, almost. He had a younger lover. They were separated. He was supporting the guy – who was really no more than a student. A grad student – maybe law. Anyway, it was a mess. But the guy invited me to his house. And we got as far as his bedroom because he wanted to show me something he had stored there.

From Alan: Not his etchings.

From Texas Visitor: LOL. No, we were way past that. And there was definite physical attraction on both our parts, and we knew it. But there was something in him that didn’t want to be unfaithful, and something in me that knew that way lay quicksand. So we let it go.

From Alan: Probably just as well.

From Texas Visitor: Funny thing is, he interviewed me for a job maybe 10 years later. He never acknowledged that we’d met, and maybe he didn’t remember. But I got the job, and it turned out that he and his partner had reconciled and were living happily.

From Alan: Did you ever tell him?

From Texas Visitor: There’d be no point. It might have been the only time he’d gotten that close to being unfaithful. And I only stayed at that school for a couple of years. It was a stepping stone to Austin.

From Alan: Where you’re happy.

From Texas Visitor: Where I’m happy even though my office doesn’t look out on the track.

From Alan: And you never think of settling down?

From Texas Visitor: I’m as settled as I’m going to be.

From Alan: You sound happy about that, too.

From Texas Visitor: You got it.

From Alan: What happens when you get older?

From Texas Visitor: I come from a very large family. Sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, cousins out my ass.

From Alan: They’ll all take care of you?

From Texas Visitor: I only need one. And I’m generous.

From Alan: Good.

From Texas Visitor: Now you going to be generous to me?

From Alan: If you’re still interested.

From Texas Visitor: I wouldn’t be writing this long if I weren’t.

From Alan: So we get to knock off two fantasies at once. You get to fuck an administrator, and I get to fuck my old assistant.

From Texas Visitor: Sound perfect.

From Alan: How long you here for?

From Texas Visitor: This week.

From Alan: When’s best? Give me a little range.

From Texas Visitor: Well, classes don’t start till 10 AM, and I’m an early morning riser, if you know what I mean.

From Alan: I’ve got an image.

From Texas Visitor: Uncut.

From Alan: It just got clearer.

From Texas Visitor: LOL.

From Alan: But mornings are tough for me during the week.

From Texas Visitor: Well, we drink till late, and part of the reason I’m here is for the camaraderie.

From Alan: That’s a polite way to put it.

From Texas Visitor: I’m a polite man.

From Alan: I’ve said that already.

From Texas Visitor: And the weekend is busy.

From Alan: So I’ve got to figure out why I’d need to be in Iowa City at 7 AM on a school morning

From Texas Visitor: You’re a clever guy. You’ll work something out.

From Alan: Can you be sober by 6 AM?

From Texas Visitor: Even if I’m not, it won’t stop me fucking you.

From Alan: If I’m more awake, I’ll go first.

From Texas Visitor: What a nice man.

From Alan: Friday?

From Texas Visitor: Done.

From Alan: I’ll check in with you Thursday night.

From Texas Visitor: Check in with me any time. It’s been fun talking with you.

From Alan: And now you’re going to drink.

From Texas Visitor: Well, dinner first then a workshop. I was just checking my e-mail.

From Alan: I’ll get your address Thursday.

From Texas Visitor: The university hotel.

From Alan: Easy to reach.

From Texas Visitor: Room 308.

From Alan: Looking forward to it.

From Texas Visitor: Yes, sir.