Web Guys - 15. Chapter 15

Paradox

From Paradox: I like my sex dirty and rough. I want a man to grab my hair and show no mercy. Unfortunately, I’ve yet to have an encounter that encompasses even a few of the fantasies that drive me crazy all the time. Do you want to be the man who finally does that? In the spirit of full disclosure, I am in an open relationship.

From Alan: You’re probably the wrong age to appreciate this, but if you’re already with a guy who really loves you, you probably should give up the admittedly hot fantasies and just settle in. Though if you’re going to fuck around, you’re certainly the right age and have the right looks to have a lot of fun. Something of a paradox, no?

From Paradox: I certainly see where you are coming from. It’s an issue that has been on my mind. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about two years now. The major problem in our relationship is our differing sexual desires. I would be happy getting fucked, doing something, anything, once a day or more. He, on the other hand, is satisfied with once a week or longer time gaps. It drives me insane as I just can’t be asexual for a week. So we have been trying this open relationship thing. It isn’t the ideal solution because really I just want to be with him, and I want him to be the only sexual man in my life. But you can only be told so often that it isn’t you and there is nothing you can do to change it before you start looking around. My friends think I should just break up, but I know sex isn’t the entire relationship, and I really want to be with the guy even if my dick disagrees. A conundrum indeed.

From Alan: I understand. I’m married, have been for 15 years, and I could still have sex every day. But we have a busy life, we have kids, and if my wife and I can sneak in an hour’s worth of good sex once a week, sometimes we’re lucky. Also, I’ve always had this interest in guys, which I don’t think she knows about. I do my best to be discrete. So I can’t even give you the reassurance that this gets easier as you get older. Different ideas about sex are always going to be a factor, so if you love the guy, hang on and see what happens. Don’t listen to your friends just yet, and don’t let your dick dictate your decisions. I let my hands solve that problem maybe every day. And if you do start seeing other guys, just keep it very low-key. And here’s another paradox: fucking guys you don’t really like helps.

From Paradox: Transparency is important to me, so I appreciate that he understands. And my outside sex isn’t a secret. It seems better that way

From Alan: Transparency is terrific, and maybe you can manage that better because of your age and perspective. Unfortunately, I’m not sure my wife and I could, and I’m not going to risk an otherwise wonderful family to find out. I think I’m best off diplomatically not confirming exactly what I’m up to because there’s no suspicion, no fear, and no animosity. But I think constantly about how much I’m lying to the people I love and maybe far more to myself than I’ll admit.

From Paradox: It’s a problem, and I’d rather have mine. But you’ve made me feel better.

From Alan: Visit a hospital, and you’ll feel way better.

From Paradox: Are you a doctor?

From Alan: Not even close.

From Paradox: Why the comparison?

From Alan: First thing that came to mind. An extreme example.

From Paradox: Perspective never hurts.

From Alan: That’s hard at your age. Still hard at mine.

From Paradox: I’ll have to think about this.

From Alan: It all depends on how much you like the guy. As I said, you’re young. I was seriously in love two or three times before I got married. That’s what your 20s are for. But I do know this, at least for me, there may not have been only one right person. But I found someone I’m really comfortable with.

From Paradox: That’s all I want.

From Alan: Then hold on for a couple of years. Keep yourself very busy. Maybe adopt kids if you’re interested. You might not think so steadily about sex.

From Paradox: You seem to, if you’re masturbating every day.

From Alan: There’s another paradox.

From Paradox: Yeah.

From Alan: Yeah.