Web Guys - 18. Chapter 18

Photo Envy

From Alan: You’ve got a nice face. I think I’ve told you that before, but I wanted to say it again. As a reminder, here’s my photo.

From Photo Envy: Thank you. You’re quite a handsome fella yourself. I very much like the expression on your face. It certainly put a smile on my mug.

From Alan: Thanks, but your face can take close-ups, and I’m getting better in long view. That’s what the additional 10 years brings – in addition to anticipated wisdom.

From Photo Envy: I say you’re being overly harsh on yourself. You appear to have all the bits that constitute a human face, and as I said previously, they’re put together quite handsomely. I’m a big fan of character. Also, if you’re interested, here’s a link to some of my work.

From Alan: I like the idea of your photographs causing guys to “Lust after themselves.” But I’m afraid most guys are born with their hands on their dicks, and they’d happily be buried the same way. Taking just a little time out, of course, to reach for women, paychecks, and booze.

From Photo Envy: And ciggies.

From Alan: Cigarettes used to be in there, and I suspect drugs, but I’m not a big fan of either. And it might be great fun to be naked with you – or pose for you – if I were10 years younger and less inhibited.

From Photo Envy: You have the prose of a poet. Though I’m going to edit that last thought down to “It’d be fun to be naked with you.”

From Alan: I was being polite. The guys in your photos seem mainly college age, and some men online seem to think 10 years is a gap that can’t be spanned. Or maybe, you’re being polite.

From Photo Envy: I definitely wasn’t.

From Alan: People keep thinking “If age only could” is about guys being able to keep themselves hard, but that’s not the problem. It’s flexibility. I can remember when I was with some guy and his legs were wrapped around my waist, and I was carting him all over the room. Now, I’d have to make up an excuse about hurting myself while changing a tire.

From Photo Envy: It wouldn’t be worth the risk?

From Alan: It might be.

From Photo Envy: I prefer to think about age and increased wisdom as knowing what I like and going after it. While I’m not yet a distinguished gentleman in the prime of his early 40s, I’m aware that I’m no longer a rowdy adolescent. Scrapes take longer to heal, and I’ve already had my knee fixed from too much jogging. My big rule is “no permanent damage, even when playing rough.” That said, I’m pretty sane for being an occasional madman. Oh, and the feeling of hotness is mutual.

From Alan: But it’s one thing to flirt with a younger guy and another to disappoint him.

From Photo Envy: Point taken. But presently the only age-based limit I have is no one who’s more than a decade younger than I am – and it’s really closer to 7 to 8 years. I’ll take “borderline distinguished” over “barely post-embryonic” any day, no matter how hot they look on camera. Especially if the “older guy” can maintain a conversation as well as you can. That said, if you want me to knock it off, I will.

From Alan: No, I don’t want to knock it off, and the problem isn’t really age – I’m mainly joking. Though I admit, 30 is about the bottom of my range. But I forgot that I started this conversation with a compliment – because I meant my first note as a one-time thing. So you didn’t get my usual disclaimer which includes something like, “I’m a married teacher.” The “teacher’s” a lie, because I’m no longer in the classroom, but “married” is real. So now, you can back off because I’m married hypocrite. When I started sleeping with guys, my main rule besides safe sex was “No married men.” But now I am one, and I intend to stay that way, but I don’t understand my old rule at all.

From Photo Envy: Well, ain’t that an interesting development. I don’t mind if you’re married – in fact, I find it rather sweet. I’m not into running around behind backs or breaking any rules you two might have, but if our interaction is Kosher, then so be it. From age 20 to 25, I was in a terrific relationship with the love of my life. Even though we’re not together any more, we still have an intense connection. Anyway, I bring this up to say I’m intimately familiar with the dynamics of open relationships.

From Alan: Glad you still have that relationship. I’m sentimental about them, and I still have several pending. Some are intellectual, and some are physical or emotional. But it’s nice to have history. Also, I wouldn’t actually be sneaking around. I have a very tight schedule, and so does my wife. But both allow for a little carefully used private time. I only worry about car wrecks. The other catch is we have to play at your place, because we also have a pair of near-teenaged daughters. I can juggle one schedule but not four.

From Photo Envy: I saw that you wrote me earlier, but I’m still unwinding from the day, and I wanted to put as much care into reading as you did writing.

From Alan: That’s nice, but unnecessary. And you seem to have been online today far longer than usual – 6-plus hours. I hope you haven’t fallen asleep at the keyboard.

From Photo Envy: No, thanks to the wonders of technology, I’m now perpetually plugged into the web.

From Alan: How’s that different from being permanently clamped to a milking machine?

From Photo Envy: Ouch!

From Alan: And your new picture’s cute. I like the way the leather straps match your hair and eyes. Though I suppose the effect is reduced by the frilly pink tutu you’re wearing just out of frame.

From Photo Envy: Heh, thanks. For what it’s worth, what I’m not wearing below the waist is the subject of a whole ‘nother photo.

From Alan: And I see you’ve added more than one picture. Collect the whole set. My favorite is number 4, where you have the end of that riding crop in your palm, and a little bit of “What the fuck am I doing?” in your face.

From Photo Envy: My contribution to the global horniness continuum that constitutes the Internet.

From Alan: Well, I suspect that – considering you’re now online all the time, and you’ve put up a clearly provocative set of photos – guys are keeping you pretty busy.

From Photo Envy: Awww... But it’s funny how most guys seem to lack the guts to contact me. So I’m far less busy than you might imagine. And, honestly, the photos are part of my own process of self-acceptance. Not to reveal too much of the man behind the curtain, but I spent a good chunk of my life being really uncomfortable with my body. I’m really just a nerd with MacArthur aspirations.

From Alan: You cover it well.

From Photo Envy: Something flipped in my late 20s. And now, well, I ‘m like “Fuck it – sometimes you go to party with the body you have and not the one you want.” And now that I’ve passed 30, I spend as much time shirtless in public as I can. OK, I’m wearing a harness in that photo, but you get the point. But I’m still me. Still looking for quality over quality, regardless of the packaging. Though I have to admit that since I’ve started working out, I have better marketing materials.

From Alan: Well, I like the quality, and I like the marketing. And it would be fun to be 10 years younger for an afternoon, just to fairly joust with you.

From Photo Envy: Sans armor, of course.

From Alan: And horses.

From Photo Envy: No room for them in the bedroom.

From Alan: Or wherever.

From Photo Envy: Now I want my camera with us.

From Alan: And I’ve been meaning to tell you: Now that you’ve chosen 3 sharp photos from the 10 you had up, you might want to match your description to them. And when you’re writing a guy – and maybe even talking to him – cultivate, not inarticulateness, but terseness. Don’t wreck the image.

From Photo Envy: That’s easy. I like role-playing.

From Alan: And try running this edited version of your description to see what happens: “Here’s the deal: I’m an experienced Dom who likes turning guys’ fantasies against them. Whatever you’re into, I’ll push your buttons. We’ll both have a good time, but it might be one hell of a journey for you. And whatever friendly streak I have comes out after a scene is over.”

From Photo Envy: Hmm iiiiinteresting. I very much appreciate your thoughts – the killing one’s children bit of editing is hard. I’m also planning on creating 2 more online personas: Scalpel Sharp to house my budding Sadist side, and Occasional Madman for just me.

From Alan: Editing, in this case, is just more marketing – placing the best information with the best picture to attract particular men. But be careful about overusing your face. There’s a limited number of users in Iowa, and they’ll quickly remember who you are. You need to keep distinct identities. Even your body might be too recognizable.

From Photo Envy: Gotta think about that.

From Alan: How are your alternate personas progressing?

From Photo Envy: Well I’ve been lost in a fog of real worldness so I haven’t been putting much creative energy into these sides of me. Though I did figure out that Scalpel Sharp’s colors are white and medical blue/green. His primary shot is going to be a close-up of my eye with a prickly chrome stim wheel. And Occasional Madman is going to get a series of shots of my Halloween costume – a zombie jogger. That’s in the “fast zombie” style of “Resident Evil” rather than classic Romero. I’m aiming for it to be the most technically challenging makeup I’ve ever done – prosthetics and full body paint and costume.

From Alan: It all sounds like fun. Let me know when your multiple personalities are online.

From Photo Envy: I will. But there’s one more favor you can do for me, aside from continuing to give intelligent advice.

From Alan: Name it. If it’s in my power, I’ll try.

From Photo Envy: Meet me.

From Alan: Sure.

From Photo Envy: It’s that easy for you?

From Alan: By now, yeah. You’ve made it easy. I was just waiting for you to ask again.

From Photo Envy: Why did I have to ask?

From Alan: Because you’re the one taking pictures of teens.

From Photo Envy: Mostly guys in their 20s, and I do it for pay.

From Alan: I didn’t know that.

From Photo Envy: For their web sites or girlfriends. Sometimes for their wives.

From Alan: You also seem to be into split personalities and role playing. I’m a bit simpler.

From Photo Envy: Define “simpler.” Without being prurient, this intrigues me.

From Alan: It’s just a connection between my body and another guy’s. It doesn’t work the same with any two men. In fact, sometimes, it doesn’t work at all. We’d have to experiment.

From Photo Envy: I’m game.

From Alan: Then let’s go.

From Photo Envy: Great. Maybe afterward, we can put together a 4th persona – Conjoined Twins.