The Cockney Canuck - 79. Chapter 79 The Five-Foot-Six-Inch Giant

Don obviously knew that Nathan and I were on intimate terms but I think it really hit home when he saw it for himself. It was real, there was no denying it. When he walked in and caught Nathan with his tongue lodged down my throat, it must have been crystal clear to him that I was gay. Yet still, this intelligent, successful businessman, with a higher than average IQ, and a soft spot for children’s charities, refused to accept what anyone else would have called the bleeding obvious.

When I heard him cough and realised who it was, Nathan’s mouth was stuck to my face like glue and I had to physically push him off. It was embarrassing, but perhaps more so for Don who looked away and mumbled under his breath. Nathan jumped up like a jack-in-the-box and I wiped my mouth and sat up straight in bed. We were embarrassed but unable to resist exchanging a quick smile.

Maybe the sight of two boys kissing disgusted Don but I didn’t care anymore. He could say what he wanted, I had been rehearsing my lines for five days and this time, I wasn’t going down without a fight.

He waited a few moments while we composed ourselves before turning to face us. I was hot and flustered, my cheeks were burning and my bottom lip was hurting where Nathan had bitten it. We fidgeted nervously under Don’s gaze; it wasn’t threatening but neither of us were capable of looking him in the eye.

I think he was expecting Nathan to go outside and leave us alone and I wouldn’t have blamed my boyfriend for doing just that, after all, it wasn’t his battle. I should never have doubted him. Not only did he stay, but he sat down on the bed next to me and took my hand to hold it in front of us, with a firm squeeze. It was a spontaneous gesture and a huge show of support from a boy, who at times, stood much taller than his actual five-foot-six-inch frame. On that occasion he was a giant, defying Don and willingly putting himself in the firing line.

Nathan’s loyalty wasn’t lost on my guardian, who looked as if his confidence had been drained. He seemed baffled by our unconcealed show of affection and when my boyfriend turned his head to kiss me on the cheek, I sensed that the tables were turning.

When Don finally broke the silence he didn’t mention our kiss, preferring to skirt around the subject with some harmless small talk. It was a definite change of tactics from the last time I had seen him and he looked a long way out of his comfort zone.

“They called me at work to let me know,” he said. “How are you feeling? Have you been eating alright?” I nodded. “We were worried about you.”

Nothing he had said so far had warranted a reply. It was Don who was suffering this time, not me, and I was enjoying watching him struggle.

“I was hoping to talk to you alone actually,” he said but this time I had something to say.

“Nathan’s my boyfriend; I love him and he loves me. You’ve seen that for yourself now. Whatever you have to say to me, concerns him too.” My eyes quickly met with Nathan’s as he flashed me his approval wrapped up in a warm smile. Despite a shaky start, I had settled down and was standing my ground.

“I see. Is it okay if I sit down then?” I shrugged my shoulders and he pulled up the chair to sit next to the bed. He was dressed smartly, probably coming from a meeting and he undid the top button of his shirt and pulled off his tie. “I know that you hate me right now, Robbie and I don’t blame you for reacting the way you did. I was wrong to shout at you like that and I’m sorry.” I glared at him.

‘Is that it, is that his apology? Will he leave us alone now’?

“You have to understand that it was a shock for me. I had no idea about any of this.” He pointed to where we were holding hands as if it were an affliction of some kind. He may have even felt sorry for me. “I was angry, Robbie.”

‘No shit’!

“You should have talked to me about it before,” he said.

“Before what?”

“Before you. Look it doesn’t matter. I’m not here to discuss your sexual preference. That's a decision you'll have to make when you’re old enough. I want you to come home.”

“What do you mean, old enough?”

“You’re fifteen Robbie. Still a minor”

“You didn’t mind when I was dating Fran.”

“Of course not, that was different.” I could see Nathan smiling at his remark but I kept the pressure on.

“I don’t get it,” I said. “Why is it different?”

He rubbed his chin and considered his answer carefully. He was trying to remain calm. It was an improvement on our previous meeting but he was having to work at it.

“You’re trying to antagonise me, Robbie, but I won't be drawn into an argument. You know my views on homosexuality, and despite what you read or see on the internet, I’m not the only one who thinks this way. I was under the impression that you were a normal boy.”

“I am normal!” That remark was designed to hurt me and it did. I had tried hard to be normal and to fit into a country and lifestyle that was still foreign to me, but I couldn’t change my sexuality.

“You thought he was straight, you mean?” added Nathan.

“Yes, and who could blame me?” Don turned his attention to Nathan. “He had never given any indication that he was like this. He was dating Fran and I know that they were having sex on a regular basis. He was happy then; what happened to him?”

Nathan couldn’t answer that question any more than I could, but I could see what Don was doing. He was trying to weaken our solidarity by mentioning my sex life with Fran. He had laid on pretty thick too. We never had sex on a regular basis and I wasn’t all that happy.

“Robbie already told me about Fran,” said Nathan. “It’s not a secret and I didn’t lead him astray or corrupt him like you think.”

“I never said that.”

“You implied it!” I said. He was finding it heavy going now that I had some backup and on neutral ground, but his stubborn nature refused to back down.

“You had everything going for you and you let it go for the sake of a fling and with Nathan of all people. Daniel’s friend!”

‘What’s that supposed to mean’?

I put my hand up to stop him. He was going too fast and not allowing me a chance to respond. I looked apologetically at my boyfriend and he took over again.

“It wasn’t a fling,” he said. “I’m definitely not into flings or casual sex. It wasn’t sordid or dirty in any way.”

“Oh, come on, Nathan. I wasn’t born yesterday!”

“We were dating that’s all, not meeting up for sex.”

“I know what you were up to and I don’t agree with it. But I’m not here to apportion blame, I’m here to work things out and to try to help him.”

“You’re not helping me at all,” I said.

“I think you’re confused, Robbie.”

“I was, but not anymore. I’m not even bisexual, I only like guys.”

Don shook his head. “I’m not accepting that, Robbie. Maybe that’s what you want Nathan to believe but I know different, I saw the way you were with Fran.”

“No, you didn’t, you only saw how it was from the outside. I dated Fran because I wanted to fit in. Because I wanted to please you, but it didn’t work. I’ve been gay for as long as I can remember and I always will be. I know now there's nothing I can do to change that and I wouldn’t want to. It doesn't matter what you do to me. You can shout at me all you want, but it won’t change the way I am. I’m sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear, but it’s the truth.” I spoke from the heart and had tears welling in my eyes as Nathan put his arm behind me to gently rub the small of my back.

“I never wanted to be like this.” I wiped my eyes smearing tears across my face. “But now I’m glad I am because even after everything that's happened I’m still happier than I was pretending to be straight. This is who I am! Why can’t you understand that?”

For once, Don seemed lost for a reply, maybe some of my well-rehearsed lines had managed to break through his outer defences? He sat quietly for about half a minute while I fought back tears and Nathan wiped my face with the sheet. He was so sweet and loving that it was difficult for me to be upset for very long and I grinned at him through teary eyes, certain that I was the luckiest person on the planet.

Don sighed and shook his head. “I know that it hasn’t been easy for you moving over here after what happened with your mom and I suppose that growing up without a dad didn’t help much either. Maybe you needed a father to guide you when you were younger.”

‘He still doesn’t get it’!

“I know that at your age, life is very confusing and you’ve been through more upheaval than most boys. It might help if you were to talk to someone better qualified than me. I can arrange for you to see someone, a professional who can help you see things more clearly.”

“Do you think that being gay is an illness? Are you hoping that I can be cured or that some councillor can talk me out of it?”

“No, Robbie that’s not what I’m saying, but it might help if you talk to someone about it?”

“Maybe I don’t want to talk about it. Maybe I don’t really see it as a problem like you do.”

‘Nothing’s changed. He’s never going to accept me’.

“Is everything okay in here?” It was Lorna peeking through the curtains. She must have heard our raised voices and looked concerned with my appearance. “What’s going on?” she said aiming her question at Don. “He’s supposed to be resting, Mr Taylor. That’s why he’s in the hospital.”

“It’s okay, I understand, there’s no need for concern,” he said. “We were only talking.” Don looked mortified; he wasn’t used to being reprimanded. It didn’t sit well with him, but he there was little he could do.

Lorna asked me if I was okay and I smiled at her. Don was lucky; I could have made it a whole worse for him if I wanted to.

Sue was due to finish work soon and that was probably the only reason why he was still there. He would stay to give her a ride home. When she arrived, she brought fresh air and a smile to my bedside, but there was bad feeling that hung in the air like a foul odour.

“What’s wrong honey?” When I didn’t answer, she turned her attention to her husband with eyes that threatened to bore a hole in him. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” he said. “I think we’re making progress.”

‘Progress’?

Sue looked dubious as she patted Nathan on the head and asked him about his grandfather.

“The funeral’s on Wednesday,” he said.

‘Amy’s birthday. I didn’t even ask him about his grandad’.

I mouthed a big ‘sorry’ to him as Sue leaned forward to kiss me. “Are you sure you’re okay, honey?”

“Yes.”

Don shifted uncomfortably in his seat as I glared at him, followed by Sue and then Nathan. “Let's just get him home, Sue,” he said. “It’ll be easier for everyone.”

“I’ve talked to the doctor,” she said. “And he’s concerned that our home environment may not be conducive to Robbie’s recovery.”

“That’s absurd! He has everything he could possibly want.”

“Which is why he ran away!” hissed Sue as she turned on him like a rattlesnake. She was scary; I had never seen her so angry. I shared an apprehensive glance with Nathan, while she calmed down.

“Honey, we want you to come home, but it will be your decision, not ours. If you feel more comfortable here, then maybe you should stay.”

“What are you saying?” Don looked at his wife as if she had betrayed him but she was quick to respond.

“He needs to get better! That’s why he’s here. It’s the only thing that I’m concerned about right now and it’s the only thing that you should be discussing. You’re supposed to be his guardian, not his enemy!”

The room fell silent as Sue simmered and Don licked his wounds. I had never been privy to one of their arguments before, although admittedly, it was more of a rebuke than a discussion and Sue didn’t give the impression that she was prepared to give an inch. It contrasted heavily with incidents in the past when she had been indecisive and showed weakness when confronted by her husband.

In the uncomfortable silence, Nathan got my attention by crossing his eyes and poking his tongue out at me. As much as he tried though, there was no expression that he could pull which was capable of masking his beauty. They just made him look even cuter. Then he passed me his phone. He had written a message to me in big pink letters across the screen. ‘I THINK YOU’RE SEXY’!

It made me giggle and brought Sue’s attention.

“You have to let us know what you want to do,” she said. I hadn’t realised she was waiting for me and I handed Nathan’s phone back as he blew an air kiss at me.

“I dunno.”

“Wouldn’t you prefer to be at home, Robbie?” asked Don. “I thought that you would want your room back, your computer and your games.”

“You mean Daniel’s room.”

“And yours too, Robbie,” said Sue.

“It’s Daniel’s,” I insisted. “Can’t you tell by all the hockey posters, I don’t even like hockey. It will always be his room!”

It seemed to surprise Don. “I’m sorry, you should’ve said before that you felt this way, I’m sure that Daniel wouldn’t mind if you put up some soccer posters or whatever it is you like. We can change little things like that for you.”

‘Whatever it is I like? He doesn’t know what I like because he’s never asked’.

“We’ve tried hard to make you feel at home,” added Sue, but I had heard it all before.

“It’s okay, I’m not really worried about a few stupid posters, but I don’t think that Daniel really wants to share with me anymore, maybe because of this, I dunno.”

“He feels let down,” said Don. “Nathan was his friend for years.”

“I still am,” said Nathan but Don’s expression indicated otherwise.

“He’s been hurt by all of this and you should both understand that and put yourself in his shoes. You owe him that much at least.” I didn’t think I owed Daniel anything but I could understand why he was upset.

“He’s just a little confused honey, he’ll be fine.”

“We didn’t want to hurt Daniel,” said Nathan. “I would never intentionally hurt him; no matter what you say, he’s still my best friend.”

Don scoffed at that statement but was brought into line after a hard stare from his wife.

It was obvious that they were anxious to get me home. Running away and my re-admission to hospital reflected badly on them as parents and they would have been desperate to contain an already difficult situation.

In the hospital, Don had no control over me and that afternoon proved as much, but I didn’t particularly want to stay there either, so I hit him where it hurt with the question I knew he would want to avoid but was key to my cooperation.

“Will Nathan be allowed to visit?”

It put Don on the spot but they must have known this would be an issue, and I got the impression Sue had secured a compromise.

“Yes dear, Nathan can visit you anytime he likes but he can’t sleepover anymore. We think that’s fair and responsible.”

I shared a smile with Nathan as Don read us the small print. There were terms and conditions. “We expect you to behave in a respectable manner, he can visit you as a friend in the same way he visits Daniel, but anything more than that is strictly off-limits, you understand?”

“No, so are you saying that I’m not allowed to touch him?”

“No. Yes. I mean, that’s exactly what we’re saying. I don’t want you acting like this in front of Amy or even Daniel.” Nathan had been very touchy since Don’s untimely entrance, almost drowning me in love. I couldn’t get enough of his attention or his sexy stares but it was too overt for Don who was clearly uncomfortable.

I got the impression that despite her liberal rhetoric, Sue also preferred to see some daylight between Nathan and me and her silence confirmed as much. She was in agreement with Don on this issue.

I wasn’t sure what to make of Don’s half-hearted apology, which had been laced with cynicism. All he really did was reaffirm his bigoted views and hatred of anything that strayed from his circle of trust. He had been able to exercise a little more self-control than the week before, but he didn’t really have much of a choice.

Despite his apology, I was unable to forgive him for his original outburst or trust him not to repeat it in the future. It was obvious that Sue and Don had had a few heated discussions while I was away and it looked as if she had pulled him into line a little, but it wasn’t as if he had suddenly seen the error of his ways and that was unlikely to happen. It wasn’t ideal, but there were no other options and I missed my creature comforts.

Nathan’s visiting rights, even with the added conditions, was a concession that I wasn’t expecting to get and it removed the biggest obstacle preventing me from going back. I didn’t want to push my luck. I knew that I would have to go home in a few days anyway, which would take away any bargaining power that I had, so I took what I could and considered myself fortunate.

“I guess I would be better off at home then."

“It’s the right decision,” said Don and I could sense his relief.

“I’m coming in boys; I hope you guys are decent.” I cringed as I heard Karen’s voice through the curtains and then again when she made her entrance with a box of Timbits.

“This is my sister Karen,” said Nathan. “And this is Don, Robbie’s uncle?” He stood up to shake Karen’s hand before walking off to find Lorna, probably to ask about my discharge.

‘He’s not wasting any time’.

Once again, I was surprised to see Karen talking to Sue. I had no idea that they knew each other.

“They met the day that of your accident,” said Nathan. “But I guess you don’t remember anything from that day.”

That would have been asking too much. Even the hours leading up to the accident were vague and cloudy, but little now remained, up until the day I became fully conscious. Nathan was able to remember everything including stuff that I had told him when I first came out of the coma. Stuff I had since forgotten. He now knew more about this period of my life than I did.

Don’s attempt to get me discharged the same day failed when the senior doctor insisted that I see out the full twenty-four hours, even though I felt perfectly normal. I was happy with the decision; there was something else that I had to do while I was there. When Don and Sue left, I checked with Lorna.

“He’s still here,” she said. “But he’s hoping to go home early next week. He hasn’t had a lot of visitors over the past few days, so I’m sure he’d be pleased to see you.” It was all the encouragement I needed.

“I have some stuff for him at home,” I said. “Some soccer stuff from England, I no longer need.”

“He would like that,” she said and gave me a gentle hug, before leaving. Her shift was about to finish, but I would see her again tomorrow.

“I think Lorna’s got the hots for Robbie,” said Nathan after she had gone.

“I think that Nathan’s jealous,” I said to Karen.

“Don is convinced that Robbie’s straight,” he said and his sister laughed.

“Are you sure that you wanna go home tomorrow?” asked Karen. “Will he leave you alone?”

“I suppose. But I’m not frightened of him and it’s gotta be better than staying here.”

“That doesn’t sound too good, I’m gonna have a chat with mom and dad tonight and ask them if you can stay for a couple of weeks until you get better. Do you think your aunt and uncle would mind?”

“Definitely,” I said. “There’s no way they would be comfortable with me staying at your house, but I can ask.”

“You’ve nothing to lose except your virginity,” said Nathan. “But I guess you lost that years ago, right?”

“Cheeky sod, it's only been six months.”

“For me, it was only a few weeks.” Then we both looked at Karen and laughed.

"It's none of your business," she said. Nathan laughed and then moved in for a long kiss. “Oh geez, you guys can’t get enough of each other can you?”

Nathan wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear. “Just think of what we could do if you were staying at my house.” It was a tempting offer but an unlikely scenario. “You could stay in bed and I could look after you. I can do a better job than Lorna.”

“I dunno, Lorna’s pretty good.”

“Well, I can be a little more hands-on,” he said and I swallowed hard as run his hand across the top of the bedsheet following the contour of my body. Then licked his lips.

“He’s meant to be resting!” said Karen. “I hope they don’t need to take your blood pressure any time soon.”

He let me go and sat down on the bed, leaving me with an embarrassing hard-on that I struggled to hide from an amused looking Karen.

She had to leave to go to work, but Nathan decided to stay for a while and catch the bus home, so I asked him if he wanted to come with me to see a special friend.

“You remember Jamie, the boy with the oxygen mask?”

“Yes, why?”

“He’s still here, do you wanna go and see him with me. Come on, he hardly gets any visitors.”

I stood up and tied the stupid gown that I had to wear.

“Are you going like that?”

“No, I was thinking of going in fancy dress. Of course, I’m going like this, I don’t have much of a choice.”

“You do look kinda cute in a dress,” he said walking behind me down the main corridor.

“It’s a gown and don’t stare at my ass.”

I didn’t like having to walk around the hospital wearing just a flimsy gown but it was worth it to see Jamie’s face. He was sitting in a chair by the side of his bed watching TV and it was good to see him managing without his oxygen mask.

“Hey, Jamie, how are you?” He was excited to see me and when I introduced him to Nathan, I knew he would be in good hands. Kids always seemed to bring out the best in him and Nathan clearly enjoyed talking to him and playing the fool. It was their mutual love of gaming though and particularly the PlayStation that endeared him to Jamie and they spent a good hour playing on the one that had been set up for him by his bed.

Nathan made Jamie laugh, which wasn’t all that difficult but worthy of a high five when he had to leave to go home. They even swapped email addresses.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said and I noticed Jamie watching us as he held my hand and kissed me goodbye. It was becoming almost natural for us to do that and I doubt if Nathan even thought about it, but I was worried about how Jamie would react.

“Your friend is funny,” said Jamie, who had clearly enjoyed all the attention. “But why are you back in hospital?”

“Oh, I had a few problems and they just wanted to check on me that’s all. I’m going home tomorrow.”

“Is Nathan your boyfriend?” I was relieved that he had asked so soon, it was obviously playing on his mind and Jamie was the type to beat around the bush. He didn’t have time for that.

“Yes, does it bother you?”

He thought about it for a few seconds and then smiled. “Not really, I don’t mind. You’re the first gay person that I’ve ever met.” I took it as a compliment. “Now I have two gay friends.” I thought it was really cool that he regarded us as friends and I wondered how many he had. I knew that he had an older brother and sister, but I had never seen anyone his age visiting him.

“That’s neat because I only have the one gay friend,” I said.

I stayed with Jamie for the rest of the evening, watching TV until he started to fall asleep and the duty nurse came to put him to bed. After a longer than usual and very eventful day, at nine o’ clock, I was ready for sleep too and fighting to stay awake.

“I’ll come and see you tomorrow before I go home,” I said, but poor Jamie was already asleep.

* * * * *

Don was in a good mood when he picked me up the following afternoon to take me home and I wondered if I was doing the right thing. I had caused him enough trouble over the past week, to expect a frosty reception, so it was surprising to hear him singing along to Fleetwood Mac and talking about Amy’s upcoming birthday party.

“Nathan is invited, of course,” he said. “Amy would like it if he was there.” I would too, but he kept the conversation well away from any grey areas. I was happy to accept his challenge and decided I wouldn’t bring up the subject again until he did.

Daniel was out that night, staying over at Doug’s house. It was becoming a regular occurrence but it suited me. I liked having the room to myself and made the most of it when everyone went to bed by Skyping Nathan. We had been texting all evening and I had told him to be online at midnight.

“Blimey, Nathan, are you naked?”

“Shush,” he whispered, putting his finger to his lips. “I gotta turn the volume down or my parents will hear us.”

“Sorry, but I wasn’t expecting you to be in the raw.”

“Skype is only fun when you're naked,” he said, although I could only see down to his navel. “I thought that’s what you wanted. Why else would you wanna Skype me at midnight?”

“Err, to talk?”

“Oh my God, that is so crass.”

“It is?”

“Yes, you use texts to talk, Skype to jerk off.”

“I dunno, but I’ll watch you do it if you want."

He laughed. “Same thing dude, but you’re gonna need to take off that t-shirt and whatever else you’re wearing.”

After all the effort I had put into resisting Alex, I would have done whatever Nathan asked and I willingly ditched the clothes.

“Are you sure that you’re on your own?”

“No, I have the whole family here watching. What do you think?”

“Just checking,” I said and when I held up my boxer briefs to show him, he giggled and moved his camera so that I could see his dick as he went to work. He was good but I was teetering on the edge before I even called him and it wasn’t going to take much to push me over.

“Oh, shit, Nathan. Do you know what you’re doing to me.”

“Yes.”

“This is crazy!”

“I know," he said. “Now take it easy. Nice and slow. That’s it. Don’t cum yet, baby."

"I'm trying."

Robbie?”

“Hmm?”

“Robbie?”

“What?”

“Tell me you didn’t finish already?"

“I didn’t finish already,” I said but my flushed face and heavy breathing told a different story.

“You did, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”