Jump to content
Crazyshadows13

What did your parents do?

Recommended Posts

On 7/29/2014 at 2:01 PM, jamessavik said:

My dad punched me so hard I crashed into and broke through the dry wall.

 

I was kept inside without contact with anyone for weeks except for church. Just church- no Sunday school or social stuff.

 

Tell the truth, I don't want to think about it anymore.

Im glad that is over now. It's really hard to move through stuff like that. They never hit me hard or anything but still the stuff they did haunt me till this day. I still have nightmares about it sometimes. Best thing we can do is to live the best life we can and be who we are and surround ourselves with calm, gentle, kind, and open minded people who will support us no matter what because they see us for who we are as a person. It hurts and is infuriating to think about but I'd like to think we are better now because of what we went theough. It made us able to understand and feel for others. The world wouldn't be able to function without people like us. You are the glue that keeps people together and the support for people who are falling apart. I love you *hugs*

  • Like 1
  • Love 3

Share this post


Link to post

They did way too much. It's traumatizing but life goes on. My grandmother one time came up to me and said to me, " Don't be gay! I read online that gay people play with the butt!!!" With a horrified expression on her face. I definitely snickered at that. I miss her so much. She was my biggest supporter. My biggest regret is that I wasnt strong enough to come out to her and wasn't able to be there for her on her death bed.

Edited by jryski
  • Like 1
  • Love 3

Share this post


Link to post
9 hours ago, jryski said:

They did way too much. It's traumatizing but life goes on. My grandmother one time came up to me and said to me, " Don't be gay! I read online that gay people play with the butt!!!" With a horrified expression on her face. I definitely snickered at that. I miss her so much. She was my biggest supporter. My biggest regret is that I wasnt strong enough to come out to her and wasn't able to be there for her on her death bed.

That's pretty funny, what your grandmother said. I don't think that not coming out to her has anything to do with strength, though. That stuff is hard, and sometimes we worry about the feelings of others as well. Not just about whether they'll accept us, but also how it'll make them feel. I don't think I'll ever come out to my grandmother, not out of worry about her accepting me, but because she wouldn't understand and it would be distressing to her. 

  • Like 1
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
12 minutes ago, Thorn Wilde said:

That's pretty funny, what your grandmother said. I don't think that not coming out to her has anything to do with strength, though. That stuff is hard, and sometimes we worry about the feelings of others as well. Not just about whether they'll accept us, but also how it'll make them feel. I don't think I'll ever come out to my grandmother, not out of worry about her accepting me, but because she wouldn't understand and it would be distressing to her. 

You're definitely right. It's still sad but you're right.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
3 minutes ago, drown said:

I told my dad when I was 17. We were in the kitchen. After working up the necessary courage, I calmed myself and simply said, "Dad, I'm gay." (in German). He was silent for a moment and said, "this is worse than the death of your mother. Go to your room."

 

We just never really talked about it again and after a few weeks, things seemed to be back to normal. I wasn't going to bring it up again. I had moved away to study and when I had my first serious relationship, I told my father that I wanted him to meet someone. So he met the man of my dreams when he came to visit for dinner. It was a good evening. His only response was to later tell me on the phone that he had bought a bigger guest bad if we wanted to come visit him together. I cried.

 

Fast forward 18 years—I'm living with the man of my dreams and the relationship with my father couldn't be better. I guess this is an "it get's better" story.

Thats beautiful! 😢😢😢

  • Love 3

Share this post


Link to post

Even though this section of the forum is for young gays I thought some of you may be interested in what it was like to come out to your parents in the 1970’s.

I didn’t have to come out to my mother. Like so many mother’s her instincts had alerted her to me being ‘different’ very early on. Her only comment was to say to me one day “ I don’t care if you turn into a queen but if you turn into a really dizzy, queeny queen that would be too much". 

Soon after my mother died suddenly and my father re-married. Came home one day to find he’d moved out. Took me over a month to discover he’d married a local woman and was living in a boarding house in another suburb. He didn’t attempt to contact me so I rented a room to a friend to make ends meet. About two years later he made contact by writing me a snail mail letter. ( no internet then). It was short and to the point informing me he’d re-married and as his new wife ‘. . . . didn’t want to live with a pervert’. I was given a week to vacate the family home. Some thirty years later he phoned me starting off with a load of superficial chat. I asked him why he’d finally contacted me ” Oh, Molly died last week and I’m lonely”  At first I had no idea who he was taking about. Then it hit me, this must be my step-mother’s name. I ended up caring for him in his last days. Something I still have doubts about. Even now at age 73 I find myself thinking I should have let the old bastard rot.

The other side of this saga was having to learn to be totally idependent at an early age. Luckily I found a brilliant job with the federal govt looking after foreign students and never looked back.

The oddest thing about all this is the family history on my father’s side. His brother (also gay but very closeted) took me aside when I was about 16 and filled my in. My Great, Great Grandfather had been of the Welsh landed gentry, Supreme Court Barrister, church elder, organist and chiormaster. Every year he and his wife entertained the chior, bishop and other church dignitaries ( I wonder at that term) to a ‘Pleasant Sunday Afternoon’ at the family pile. This particular year Great, Great Grandma was taking the bishop, choir etc on a tour of the new orchid house when a breeze blew up stamming the door locking them in. Great, Great Grandma unpeturbed advised the ladies (and the bishop?) to lift their skirts and exit via the back door through the stables. There they surprised great, great, grandpa fucking ( permitted to use that term here?) the stablehand. 

Arrested and placed on trial he was (due to his connections with the court etc) given a chioce between hanging and transportation to the penal colony of Australia.

That’s how the family came to live in Australia.  

 

So why am I here now? Nothing really to do with being gay but due to my view of where our species is dragging us - another topic for another part of the forum maybe. 

  • Like 1
  • Love 2

Share this post


Link to post
19 hours ago, Dissily Mordentroge said:

Even though this section of the forum is for young gays I thought some of you may be interested in what it was like to come out to your parents in the 1970’s.

I didn’t have to come out to my mother. Like so many mother’s her instincts had alerted her to me being ‘different’ very early on. Her only comment was to say to me one day “ I don’t care if you turn into a queen but if you turn into a really dizzy, queeny queen that would be too much". 

Soon after my mother died suddenly and my father re-married. Came home one day to find he’d moved out. Took me over a month to discover he’d married a local woman and was living in a boarding house in another suburb. He didn’t attempt to contact me so I rented a room to a friend to make ends meet. About two years later he made contact by writing me a snail mail letter. ( no internet then). It was short and to the point informing me he’d re-married and as his new wife ‘. . . . didn’t want to live with a pervert’. I was given a week to vacate the family home. Some thirty years later he phoned me starting off with a load of superficial chat. I asked him why he’d finally contacted me ” Oh, Molly died last week and I’m lonely”  At first I had no idea who he was taking about. Then it hit me, this must be my step-mother’s name. I ended up caring for him in his last days. Something I still have doubts about. Even now at age 73 I find myself thinking I should have let the old bastard rot.

The other side of this saga was having to learn to be totally idependent at an early age. Luckily I found a brilliant job with the federal govt looking after foreign students and never looked back.

The oddest thing about all this is the family history on my father’s side. His brother (also gay but very closeted) took me aside when I was about 16 and filled my in. My Great, Great Grandfather had been of the Welsh landed gentry, Supreme Court Barrister, church elder, organist and chiormaster. Every year he and his wife entertained the chior, bishop and other church dignitaries ( I wonder at that term) to a ‘Pleasant Sunday Afternoon’ at the family pile. This particular year Great, Great Grandma was taking the bishop, choir etc on a tour of the new orchid house when a breeze blew up stamming the door locking them in. Great, Great Grandma unpeturbed advised the ladies (and the bishop?) to lift their skirts and exit via the back door through the stables. There they surprised great, great, grandpa fucking ( permitted to use that term here?) the stablehand. 

Arrested and placed on trial he was (due to his connections with the court etc) given a chioce between hanging and transportation to the penal colony of Australia.

That’s how the family came to live in Australia.  

 

So why am I here now? Nothing really to do with being gay but due to my view of where our species is dragging us - another topic for another part of the forum maybe. 

That's a fascinating piece of family history right there.

  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post

I was sick to my stomach with worries when I told my family as we sat around the dinner table.

My older sister snorted; "Ya think?!"

My older brother; "You finally figured that out?  Pass the potatoes."

My dad; "Same rules apply.  No closed bedroom doors if you have company."

My mom; "Oh!  A friend of mine at work has the cutest son!"

Sort of anticlimactic. 

  • Love 1
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post

It was sort of naturally between us cause I started living on my own in another country quite early and they were just calling me to check up if everything's ok and I just told them about my bf and they were like fine, hope to see both of you here, and after a while we came together and felt comfortable enough. anyways, I'm not sure whether they felt bad about it a first but I'm glad that if they did they managed to figure that out 

  • Like 1
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Similar Content

    • By Ronyx
      Love, Simon is a wonderful story that deals with a high school student dealing with being gay and coming out. Watch the trailer below:
       
       
    • By daktaris
      I am part of a team of medics and support staff and volunteers working in North America and the EU in a counseling rôle in assisting teenage members of refugee and asylum-seeking families with lifestyle issues. My team is particularly focussed on issues surrounding non-traditional sexual orientation, but within the context of everything else of course: new country, language, political and legal system, children's rights, gender equality, social system and etiquette, religious and moral norms, ethics and cultural ethos; in short, the works!
      So, these 11-17 year-olds are dealing with the nightmare of their raging pubescent hormones whilst all the rest of their known world has also undergone a tectonic shift.
      As there are currently only eight of us working as team leaders in this specialty - three in the US, and one each in Canada, Germany, Sweden, Spain and the UK - we are seeing only a tiny fraction of those referred to us and those only twice monthly.
      As a consequence, my colleagues and I have found good, age-appropriate stories with a strong, supportive message to be one excellent resource we can call upon between our sessions with those we call our protégés.
      I need your help finding these.
      We begun a very amateurish blog a few weeks ago seeking help from writers and others because we simply do not have time to trawl the web to find the right stuff. I am probably breaking the code of etiquette of webism or whatever by doing this, but I'm desperate. If you have time, and have a care for LGBT Asylum-seeking teens, please read some of the posts on www.daktaris.WordPress.com and either reply to me there, or comment here or email me directly. We desperately need your input. We also need simple moral support, just to feel somebody among the community cares about these kids. At present we are beginning to think we are speaking into an uncaring black hole.
      Blessings. Doc.
    • By Uplifted Spirit
      I started writing my story Knots during November a couple years back by participating in the National Novel Writing Month.  NanoWriMo.  The goal is to write 50,000 words in a month.  I've now done it four times.  Knots was the story of two 9th graders who were best friends.  The idea was to talk about the knots they tie in their lives.
       
      The odd thing is, they did tie knots, but the knots were not the ones I envisioned when I started.  It didn't start out as a story about two gay boys, and in some ways, isn't.  I kept wondering if there was a place for it in the regular young adult market because it dealt with young adult sex.  So I took the story and began posting it here.  I've been editing and revising as I go. 
       
      The approach to the story is different because I wanted to be different.  You'll have to read it to see if I succeeded.
       
       
       
       
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..