An Update On My Life....

[Mark Arbour]

I’ve had a few requests from readers to reappear and explain my long-ass absence, so that’s what I’m going to do.    I started out the summer with really ambitious intentions on all my life fronts, but that’s all been pretty shot to hell. 

 

So here’s what’s going on.  First off, I’ve been dealing with a lot of family shit.  You know, the fun things like sick parents, job changes (not mine, spouse’s), and that kind of stuff.  I feel like I’ve been living in one of my own soap operas, but without as much money. 

 

The big thing, though, that’s hammered me is my health.  I was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia (CLL) back in May, and that’s seriously fucked with my head.   Shit, it took me a month to just remember how to spell ‘lymphocytic.’  In a way, this is just so typical of my roller-coaster ride of a life.  I get cancer, which is pretty awful, but I get one of the better kinds to get (such that that’s possible).  At this stage, the CLL could stay at pretty low levels and cause me limited problems, and the plan right now is to watch it and do nothing.  My doctor tells me that he’s had patients at my age and CLL levels that went 20 years and didn’t even need treatment.  So that’s good news. 

 

Only the limited problems are pretty crappy.  My most obvious symptom is fatigue, where I get tired out a lot easier than I should.  I’ve had to learn to pace myself a bit more.    But the worse problem is what this has done to my libido.  It’s like I have almost completely lost my sex drive.  It’s gotten to the point where I’m starting to think I’m asexual.  It’s weird, because things don’t always work like they’re supposed to, and quite frankly, it’s not that big of a deal. 

 

I could tell you all that the fatigue is what’s slowing down my writing, but in reality, it’s the libido deal.  It’s hard to write stories with a sexual/sensual/romantic tone when I’m not feeling those feelings at all. 

 

I’m hoping this is just something I have to work through, and that I’ll end up getting back to my old self, including writing again.  I’ve had a few moments of inspiration this summer, but they don’t last long.  We’ll see.  The bottom line is that I have no intention of abandoning the two sagas I’ve been working on, but until things change, progress will be painfully slow.

[Timothy M.]

for letttng us know, hope you'll feel better soon.

I, for one, am happy to wait patiently while sending good wishes for your speedy recovery. Your well-being is more important than our bottomless need for more chapters.

[Headstall]

First of all, it's great to hear from you, Mark. You have to know how much you are missed. That said, it's YOU we miss, so as long as you check in, we'll be patient for your wonderful storytelling and the worlds you've created. I sympathize with all the changes in your life, especially the cancer. I'm in a let's wait and see situation myself, and it's taken a lot to get my head wrapped around it, even after a couple of years(doing good, by the way), so I get that. You've been slammed, so what you're going through is entirely understandable... time helped me... I trust it will help you. Hang in there, good buddy. If it'll help, I'll send you some naked pictures of me... hehe... just kidding . Keep a good frame of mind, have faith, and we will all be here waiting for that old Mark to reclaim his crown... cheers... Gary xo

Edited August 11, 2016 by Headstall

[Drew Espinosa]

Hey Mark,

 

So many have missed you these past couple of months. Just check out the threads for BW or HMS Valiant. I agree with Tim and Gary, your stories can wait. Your health and well being come first. So, I wish you a full recovery (sex drive and all )

 

PS: Gary, you can always send those pics to me

Edited August 11, 2016 by Drew Espinosa

[Daddydavek]

Well shit! Everyone's life sucks at times, but it seems you got dumped on...not horribly, but enough to take the wind out of your sails. Granger and JP et al will just have to wait.

 

Here's wishing you all the best and hoping you regain at least a part of your prior energy and drive that made you our most prolific contributor.

 

Take care and hugs, DDK

[Myr]

Mark, I'm sorry to hear this. I wish you all the best in getting well.

Myr

[Kitt]

Like Gary said, just drop in and say hi occasionally and we can be patient. It's the not knowing we can't stand. Several of us have done the cancer thing. Feel free to pm me if you need to talk/vent. Your stories got me through 6 months of chemo and radiation. I would be more than happy to help any way I can!

Edited August 11, 2016 by Kitt

[Graeme]

Best wishes, Mark Health and other real-life issues will always have to take priority over writing. Just do your best and don't worry about us. Take care...

[Tiger]

I understand all too well how health problems can affect libido. I'm sorry to hear about your cancer. I've lost too many loved ones to the big C. I hope you are able to beat it. 

[impunity]

Mark, I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I know from personal experience (fortunately in the distant past now) how not fun having cancer can be, and how it fucks with the rest of your life, including your libido. Everyone else has already said it but you definitely need to focus on yourself right now. Stories can wait. 

 

Love and hugs,

Nicky. 

 

PS: I'd offer naked pictures, but I doubt you'd want them. 

Edited August 12, 2016 by impunity

[methodwriter85]

Not much else I can add but just say that this has been one hell of an 8-year ride with you, and a lot fun.

 

If the ride ends now because you need to take care of yourself, I'm still one hell of a happy man. You don't owe me, or Sharon, or anybody else anything but to focus on getting well.

Edited August 12, 2016 by methodwriter85

[samjones1]

I'm so sorry to hear that you've been laid low by such a insidious illness. I hope that it's symptoms subside soon so that you can at least find a better quality of daily life for yourself. You deserve the best and we're all wishing it for you here!

[Northern Dutch Guy]

I’ve had a few requests from readers to reappear and explain my long-ass absence, so that’s what I’m going to do.    I started out the summer with really ambitious intentions on all my life fronts, but that’s all been pretty shot to hell. 

 

So here’s what’s going on.  First off, I’ve been dealing with a lot of family shit.  You know, the fun things like sick parents, job changes (not mine, spouse’s), and that kind of stuff.  I feel like I’ve been living in one of my own soap operas, but without as much money. 

 

The big thing, though, that’s hammered me is my health.  I was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia (CLL) back in May, and that’s seriously fucked with my head.   Shit, it took me a month to just remember how to spell ‘lymphocytic.’  In a way, this is just so typical of my roller-coaster ride of a life.  I get cancer, which is pretty awful, but I get one of the better kinds to get (such that that’s possible).  At this stage, the CLL could stay at pretty low levels and cause me limited problems, and the plan right now is to watch it and do nothing.  My doctor tells me that he’s had patients at my age and CLL levels that went 20 years and didn’t even need treatment.  So that’s good news. 

 

Only the limited problems are pretty crappy.  My most obvious symptom is fatigue, where I get tired out a lot easier than I should.  I’ve had to learn to pace myself a bit more.    But the worse problem is what this has done to my libido.  It’s like I have almost completely lost my sex drive.  It’s gotten to the point where I’m starting to think I’m asexual.  It’s weird, because things don’t always work like they’re supposed to, and quite frankly, it’s not that big of a deal. 

 

I could tell you all that the fatigue is what’s slowing down my writing, but in reality, it’s the libido deal.  It’s hard to write stories with a sexual/sensual/romantic tone when I’m not feeling those feelings at all. 

 

I’m hoping this is just something I have to work through, and that I’ll end up getting back to my old self, including writing again.  I’ve had a few moments of inspiration this summer, but they don’t last long.  We’ll see.  The bottom line is that I have no intention of abandoning the two sagas I’ve been working on, but until things change, progress will be painfully slow.

 

 

Hi Mark, thanks for this update.

 

You got dealt with a bad hand recently.

 

And unfortunately, negative aspects of real life can be somtimes so strong that it drains you of all energy. Yeah and can hit even more hard when it affects your libido.

For most guys that will leed to feeling worse.

 

Yep you probably need time to work these things through.

Maybe get your Testosteron leavels up somehow ! Or checked.

 

Just remember that song.

'Always look at the bright side of life'.

 

Again thanks for the update and I hope one day te read new stories from you here.

 

Love, hugs Andy G

[Northern Dutch Guy]

Mark

 

Just to cheer you up a bit. Posted some flowers of our garden in a gallery for you.

 

[JimCarter]

Mark, good to hear from you.  So sorry that that your news isn't that good, but as one that has had libido issues for a few years, I can tell you that becomes less of an issue after awhile (I know that isn't what you want to hear, but it's all I have to offer.).  I would offer to send neckid(yes I know that is not spelled correctly) but I doubt you want or need that big a laugh.li

 

I we could send better health and uplifted spirits from the forum, you would be overwhelmed with all those good wishes.  Your popularity is not just because you are the best writer here, but we all believe you are one of the best people here.

 

Hang in there bro, and know that we are all with you.

[glitteryantlers]

I wish you all the best, I hope you will feel better. I joined this site following your stories, but I continue to stick around because of the people here. I'm with Kitt, it's the not knowing, what is upsetting, please drop by, when you can. Should it be with story updates, it's only better :-)

[jkeele777]

Mark,

You have a lot of people out here pulling for you. Thank you for updating us. We all love you and hope that things turn around for you. Be well, friend. Much love and light your way.

[sat8997]

You will do exactly what your doctor tells you to do or I will have to hunt you down and make you.

 

Just so we're clear...

[CthulhuTheGuardian]

THANK YOU! All we want is a check-in every month or two please :')

 

As everyone else has stated, you come before books. Get your head and heart in the right place before you do anything else. I hope you feel better soon!

[Arpeggio]

I hope you get all better soon! 

[Kitt]

You will do exactly what your doctor tells you to do or I will have to hunt you down and make you.

Just so we're clear...

You have backup in your hunt Sharon!

[WilhelmD]

Maybe we should send you to the Seychelles for restorative therapy for your libido?  Seriously, though, we wish you nothing but the best!  Be well.

Wil

[Mark M]

I was wondering!  Best wishes mark! We will wait for whatever happens happens. 

[cems]

Dear Mark,

I'm grateful to read that you're doing okay overall, but bummed that you have so much stuff to deal with at the moment. I know you'll get through it, but that doesn't make it fun! I've had a similar string of bad news and difficult events, so I have a bit of an idea how you might be feeling, but, of course, everyone's experience is their's alone.

Before I read this update, I was religiously checking to see if you had new updates, thinking about your characters at least once a day. Now I'll be thinking about you instead. Please know that I'm sending you a bunch of California new-age white light and good vibes, and surrounding you with a protective, healing energy -- with a few zaps of joy added in.  Hopefully, that'll do the trick!

Take care of yourself, and know you have scores of devoted readers and fans sending you love. I certainly am. 

xoxo

Clara

[jack.unders]

Dear Mark,

 

Thank you for posting your update.  Your lack of energy comes as no surprise.  Just know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.  Speaking for myself and I am certain for everyone else who has been following CAP and Bridgemont series, we send you our love and best wishes.

 

I have taken this time to begin the CAP series once again and even though it is now my fifth or sixth read, I am compelled to comment on how brilliantly you have conceived and written this saga.  I am picking up so many more nuances with each reading regarding hints of future twists and turns in the storyline.  I just don't know how you do it, how you seem to know in early books what will happen 20 or 30 years in the future and insert little prophetic lines.  You just amaze me.

 

Please take care of yourself and know that we are all there sending you our love.

 

Always,

 

Jack