Secret Author Contest "Reveal the Secret" - Guess the Author

[CassieQ]

24 minutes ago, kbois said:

Should I feel slighted? 🤣🤣🤣

Yours is so good, it's beyond compare.  

[Thirdly]

2 minutes ago, CassieQ said:

Yours is so good, it's beyond compare.  

@kbois even admitted it was even written vague on purpose. I literally couldn't think of any way it could have been altered more to suit my tastes.🤣 

[Inkognito]

8 hours ago, Thirdly said:

Ok, I'm gonna go down the whole list one final time with my deepest, unsolicited, and wholly unnecessary final thoughts:

Carpe Veritas @kbois - So, so clever. Don't know if that last "who am I?" meant stories, a writer, or yourself, but bravo! I just wish it were a little longer, for some reason.

What It Takes @CassieQ - The only person I rooted for in that story was that one side character who dodged a bullet, but I know it was all intentional. @Gary L was going on about naughty people earlier this SA season, but this main character was very naughty. In the end, I just didn't know who to root for, and I really wanted to root for someone who wasn't a side character.

Busted by @Thirdly - I've already been Busted. This was a bit too short and felt more like a scene than an actual one-shot. Didn't show enough of the relationship between the main characters to understand why Ryan realized his true feelings in that moment, making it feel a tad unearned... I can spot my own flaws all the livelong day. 

Exposing My Own Reality @Gunther Allen - Oof. The political climate as it is right now, reading this reminds me that it can't rain all the time. I wish more was "shown" than summarized with this one, but it was such an engaging read overall, I didn't really mind.

Thirteen @E K Stokes - You are far better than I am at detailed settings and atmosphere. I personally feel (and this is only my opinion) that a cast of a same-age group would have worked better to highlight parallels or differences regarding the main character's struggle, but I'm not sure if that was even the struggle you were trying to portray.  

Unmasked @BendtedWreath - I was mentally Dana in this one, living vicariously through her and her hot girlfriend. I definitely enjoyed it. I'm a fan of soap opera-level drama, so I would have preferred some more drama had taken place other than "I'll miss Dana when she's gone." For example, a bit of a showdown between the twins over Derek. But that's just me.

Fledgling @lawfulneutralmage - I enjoyed this one, too. In my personal opinion (which should only be taken with a grain of salt because everyone has different preferences), while you took your time in drawing us in at the beginning with the descriptions and steady pace, the transitions between the first, second, and third scenes felt a bit abrupt. I wish we had more introspective and responsive details sprinkled in between. For example, during the kiss and the spell that hit them: Instead of saying "they were frozen instantly," showing them sensing something wrong (a "what is it now?" kind of feeling when they'd JUST barely reunited) and feeling and seeing the "being frozen-over" part (maybe the spell hit the servants first and they saw it coming without being able to do a thing...that kind of helplessness gives that "cold lump in your stomach" feeling while reading it). You really have the outer "world overview" and action down pat, though. Stellar. It's the internal conflict, big or small, that I wish you'd inject just a liiiiitle more of.

Chorus Director’s Dilemma @chris191070 - I adored this one, and everything that I read a little too far into it before reading the truth was primarily due to my own mentality and not your writing. I personally feel (and there is no wrong way to write) that the pacing felt a little quick because you were giving us a lot from the beginning, "these two had a baby that was given up for adoption and..." I know that you wanted to tie that segment to the ending with the "be safe and don't do like I did" line, which I highly applaud as I LOVE full-circle moments and you know this well, but I think the story would have been just fine without the intro altogether. Those details could have been explained while Jamie was hunting Martin down. The focus also shifted from Cal to Jamie to Cal to Jamie to Martin, which is probably why I got turned around enough to think Latino soap-opera incest-level drama was about to go down when it totally wasn't. I'd have kept the focus only on Martin the whole time... he had everything to gain by the end of his story (his long lost son and new lover and all). But the whole story itself was engaging and a very solid read. Your writing just keeps getting better and better. 

The Reunion @Jeff Burton - This story had heart. Felt like a movie I'd toss on my watchlist to play over and over again until the streaming service swapped it out. (The only thing that could have possibly added more to it for me personally would've been a raunchy sex scene, which was absolutely not needed, and could have actually clashed with the wholesomeness of the theme, so don't take me seriously here. I'm just a perv.)  

The Case of the Scallopini-ed Mayor @Mikiesboy - I really enjoyed this one. I personally think it would have been a stronger read in a chaptered format that was more fleshed out, as there were many parts that would have made killer cliffhangers. But I just recently turned a story in for a GA event that ALSO would have been a stronger read in a chaptered format that was more fleshed out, so this is like the pot calling the kettle black and should, therefore, be disregarded. 🤣

Four Hours @Cole Matthews - I stand by my review saying this felt more like thriller/suspense than drama. But other than the nuances of genre, which don't really matter in the grand scale of things, this was an excellent read.

Angel Keeps a Secret @Lee Wilson - I loved this one. You know I do. The only thing I could say outside of my love for this story is that I am not a fan of shifting from one character to another within the same chapter, like when we swapped from Luca feeling miserable to Darren getting awful news about his parents' sudden death and then whiplashing back to Luca in a time skip. However, considering the limited timeframe of the event and the hope that we might get another chapter with these boys, I'm letting it slide. 

No Doubt About It @Jack Poignet - You write wonderfully, and you have fascinating ideas. I love this story. That being said, the initial "close encounter" felt confusing. I wish we would have seen in more detail what the characters themselves were seeing when they were spooked (instead, you were far more detailed in the damage Liam underwent... and considering the fact that he needed to be reconstructed, it's understandable to show the extent of that damage. But I'd still have liked that kind of clarity in the scene just before all that.) Still, it's not the end of the world that we didn't have those other details. 

Can I Tell Ya a Secret? @Topher Lydon - You said you stripped this down to mostly dialogue to try to "hide" some of your style, and I swear my jaw dropped because I relished all of the little details in this oneshot. I just wanted more of it, less because it felt incomplete and more because it just piqued my curiosity enough to want to see with my own eyes how Ben and Jimmy "hooked up." 

Family Secret @Valkyrie - I've already dug my hole this deep in getting so detailed with my thoughts on all these stories, so you'll have no mercy from me, either, oh-favored-one. If there were one addition I'd have personally liked, it was that I wanted Marky to have a love interest. There. I said it. Though it adds no real value to the core of what this story is about, I am still a romantic at heart. 🤣

Thetis @Mark Arbour - I KNEW I recognized this style of writing. I should have known this was you. You really had me rolling in blissful levels of drama. The only thing I personally felt was unnecessary was Dave's non-familial feelings and that kiss. But that's just like saying I prefer cinnamon in my hot cocoa instead of powdered sugar, and has no real bearing on anything.

Green Lightning @Aditus - This story had me on the seat of my pants out of sheer concern over the character's mostly terrible survival instincts, so I was invested as all hell. The only additional thing I'd have personally liked was to have actually seen the moment that it was uncovered that "hey, maybe they were aliens"... to have both characters there at the lab seeing the results themselves for whatever reason instead of it just being word of mouth and "oh yeah, I had gotten this analyzed."

Adrift @northie - This one was one of my top favorites this season, really high up there. I wanted to see those two go all the way, but I know there wasn't any real time to get that level of progression, so I will just suck it up and sit here like the barely behaved adult that I am and will accept that sweet, sweet kiss between them at the end.  

Well, This Happened @astone2292 - This story was a surprise on so many levels that I don't even know where to begin. Dark comedy's usually hit or miss for me, but this one stuck the landing brilliantly. I was dying. Just thinking about it, I'm still dying. 🤣 Even so, I wish we had just a little bit more... maybe showing the MC working his dead-end job before walking home. A touch of outer dialogue between him and his co-worker or boss. More than just the dialogue of what I assume was God sending his butt back. 

The Rainbow’s Unicorn @drsawzall - This was imaginative and spicy. The timelines were tricky to keep track of, and I wish there had been more dialogue and fleshed-out scenes to break up the abundance of summarized ones. But it was still a very good read. 

Liminal @Camy - I am in awe of this story and its world. If I had to nitpick, though it was obvious to me that the crows/ravens/what have you were reading the main character's mind, I wish he'd have acknowledged it. I also wish we knew his name. And the name of the shifter(?) who talked to him. I also have a ton of other questions about that story's world, but that can wait until later.

My Dead Ex Is Haunting Me Through Grindr @Inkognito - This is another one of my ultimate top faves, not just this season, but of all time. That being said, I'm going with a fine-tooth comb on what could have possibly made this any better than it already is. (Once again, these are my personal opinions and not some "do or die" critique.) You are also a poet, and I can see that cadence play through here. Because there is so much line-line-line action happening with the texting, I would have liked to see "fleshier" paragraphs and sentences before and after them for balance.

For example, the intro had line-line-line ALL the way down for more than half of the story until you get to the first paragraph: Outside, the air was thick and warm... this , for me personally, felt like the story was going at an automatic uzi pace. You were likely aiming for it to feel more precise, like a sniper rifle (why am I so American that I'm using guns as references? I don't even own one), but because there wasn't enough "breathing room," that's what it came off as at times.

Urgency is great in stories, yes... but not the nonstop, horses careening off a cliff after being whipped kind of urgency. None of this was probably even on your radar, given that you are also a poet. If you took the time to turn some of those one-liners (outside the texts, which are absolutely fine as one liners the whole time) and really fattened them up in the first half into paragraphs... or not even fattening them up, just combining a few. For example, there was no real need to make each of the following sentences their own bullet. They work fine together as one paragraph, which then makes the actual line that should be separated, "another buzz" prepare our eyeballs for the texts that followed:

Jamie shook his head. He just needed sleep, that was all. This was obviously stress-related, some kind of sleep deprivation-induced glitch in the matrix where his brain accidentally booted up the Riley archive.

Another buzz.

RyIP: You never wear the hoodie anymore.

RyIP: My old one, remember?

...it's all about the variation and flow~ after all, if every sentence is "clipped" and "urgent," we readers get urgency overload and, all of a sudden, none of it feels like it's strong or impactful enough when you want to slam dunk. 

Septima’s Potential @Lorenz Qatava - Last, but not least in the slightest, is this surprisingly charming story about familial hopes, dreams, expectations, and bonds... and how a funeral and greed can turn everyone into barking dogs. I've seen this happening time and time again, from the poorest to the richest funerals. Grief can turn ugly far more quickly than we want it to. And the juxtaposition of the quiet, inheld grief of the android was heartbreaking to behold. It's incredible how these details lingered in my mind after just reading the story once, and it had a happy ending!  If there is anything more I would have wanted from this story, it would have been to see that love growing between Kirby and Bruce at its prime. But, on the other hand, that would have also made it a far longer story than anyone had the time to read in one sitting. 

I have been summoned.

Ahem. Aight, fam.

 

First off, lemme just say thank you for the deep-dive critique.

Seriously. I haven’t felt that seen since the last time I caught my reflection in a store window, aimed the finger guns, winked, and whispered, “Still got it, baby,” before immediately tripping over absolutely nothing.

I gotta hand it to you, I was fully expecting an arms race retort. Maybe something about you being born with a leg up on the competition and how I've been hopping mad about it ever since.

But.

You're absolutely right about the clipped urgency.

It’s not a bug.

It’s a feature.

Possibly a symptom.

Definitely an aesthetic.

My writing lives somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle between a panic attack, a punchline, and a caffeinated squirrel on Adderall with Wi-Fi and delusions of literary grandeur.

Every sentence? Fire.

Is it for the comedy? Yep.

Is it because I'm a pyromaniac? Allegedly.

Is it because people stop asking you for things when they think you’ll set them on fire? You're goddamn right it is.

And your sniper rifle vs. Uzi metaphor?

Bullseye, baby.

I write like I’m trying to shoot my shot in a carnival game, hoping to win a plush sense of validation, and missing every time.

 

So, in conclusion:

I hear you.

I respect you.

I will change nothing.

 

But rest assured.

I will absolutely spiral about this during my regularly scheduled 2 a.m. existential crisis.

In a Snuggie.

Surrounded by emotional-support Cheetos.

And whispering “paragraph structure is a lie” into the dull glow of my laptop like the emotionally well-adjusted writer I clearly am.

As is tradition.

[Gary L]

5 hours ago, CassieQ said:

Yours is so good, it's beyond compare.  

[Jack Poignet]

10 hours ago, Thirdly said:

No Doubt About It @Jack Poignet - You write wonderfully, and you have fascinating ideas. I love this story. That being said, the initial "close encounter" felt confusing. I wish we would have seen in more detail what the characters themselves were seeing when they were spooked (instead, you were far more detailed in the damage Liam underwent... and considering the fact that he needed to be reconstructed, it's understandable to show the extent of that damage. But I'd still have liked that kind of clarity in the scene just before all that.) Still, it's not the end of the world that we didn't have those other details. 

@Thirdly You are 100% right to question my choices for this story. As this contest is also about getting to know authors I want to take the time to tell you a bit about this story.

First: "No Doubt About It" is a song by "Hot Chocolate" about an Alien encounter that includes the line "As they glided down so silently, it wasn't an illusion oho no, no doubt about it..."  I love music (Shameless plug: The first album I ever "produced" will be released on August 29. "Ambient Tomorrow" with "Tomorrow") so I just had to include this.

For the story itself: The exaggerated details of creepy body horror is just what Jack did in his earlier stories "Shadow's Reach" and "Hungry for Gains". It was my way of giving people a good chance to recognize me as the author. Totally unnecessary for this story otherwise, should be cut down to more bearable proportions that don't distract from the story so much.

The scene with the woman... certainly emphasizes Liam's new appearance but is also a bit much. Could also be cut entirely.

The alien encounter itself: I actually had written a geeky description of it that I then cut. It just distracted from the main topic. The story just meandered too much (it still does) with Alien Encounter, Body Horror, Meet Woman...  When we authors get the stories back, I might extend mine again, but only if it actually enhances the story and be more about establishing the feelings of the guys.

Writing stories is about making choices. I was not really happy with mine, it could have been more focused, but I wanted to contribute to the contest and make it clear the story was from Jack. I was happy enough with the romantic bit. I started out as a writer quite exactly one year ago and I'm still learning a lot. Your "critique" helps and is appreciated, especially as you just reinforced my own thoughts.

And thanks a ton for all the fun comments you make on the stories. They really help to make this contest fun 

 

Edited August 12, 2025 by Jack Poignet

[Cane23]

16 minutes ago, Jack Poignet said:

@Thirdly You are 100% right to question my choices for this story. As this contest is also about getting to know authors I want to take the time to tell you a bit about this story.

First: "No Doubt About It" is a song by "Hot Chocolate" about an Alien encounter that includes the line "As they glided down so silently, it wasn't an illusion oho no, no doubt about it..."  I love music (Shameless plug: The first album I ever "produced" will be released on August 29. "Ambient Tomorrow" with "Tomorrow") so I just had to include this.

For the story itself: The exaggerated details of creepy body horror is just what Jack did in his earlier stories "Shadow's Reach" and "Hungry for Gains". It was my way of giving people a good chance to recognize me as the author. Totally unnecessary for this story otherwise, should be cut down to more bearable proportions that don't distract from the story so much.

The scene with the woman... certainly emphasizes Liam's new appearance but is also a bit much. Could also be cut entirely.

The alien encounter itself: I actually had written a geeky description of it that I then cut. It just distracted from the main topic. The story just meandered too much (it still does) with Alien Encounter, Body Horror, Meet Woman...  When we authors get the stories back, I might extend mine again, but only if it actually enhances the story and be more about establishing the feelings of the guys.

Writing stories is about making choices. I was not really happy with mine, it could have been more focused, but I wanted to contribute to the contest and make it clear the stroy was from Jack. I was happy enough with the romantic bit. I started out as a writer quite exactly one year ago and I'm still learning a lot. Your "critique" helps and is appreciated, especially as you just reinforced my own thoughts.

And thanks a ton for all the fun Comments you make on the stories. They really help to make this contest fun 

 

I absolutely love your story! For me, the presence of aliens isn’t essential - it could just as well be a divine force, magic, or even the ‘power of love.’ But the core idea, that the person you love is reshaped according to the idealized version you see in them, is simply amazing. It’s like a reversed Dorian Gray portrait.

[Cane23]

9 hours ago, CassieQ said:

I root for Kyle.  My boy is going places.  

I said in my story comment that I was shocked - well, that’s an understatement. What a twist! I honestly thought only @kbois could pull off something like this. Your Kyle reminds me of Graham Young from The Young Poisoner’s Handbook - a villain you simply can’t despise.

[chris191070]

Thanks to everyone who commented, reviewed and recommended my entry to Secret Author.

Even though I don't remember writing the story.

Thanks also to @Cia for organising the Secret Author.

[kbois]

3 hours ago, Cane23 said:

I said in my story comment that I was shocked - well, that’s an understatement. What a twist! I honestly thought only @kbois could pull off something like this. Your Kyle reminds me of Graham Young from The Young Poisoner’s Handbook - a villain you simply can’t despise.

There are definitely villains out there that are so despicable you cant help but like them. I've had villains in my stories but they've never been a main character. 

I tried doing that once and I ended up with my favorite and then had to go and kill him. Oops. 

[Jeff Burton]

6 hours ago, Inkognito said:

So, in conclusion:

I hear you.

I respect you.

I will change nothing.

 

But rest assured.

I will absolutely spiral about this during my regularly scheduled 2 a.m. existential crisis.

In a Snuggie.

Surrounded by emotional-support Cheetos.

And whispering “paragraph structure is a lie” into the dull glow of my laptop like the emotionally well-adjusted writer I clearly am.

As is tradition.

This is why we are friends.

[Mark Arbour]

17 hours ago, Thirdly said:

Thetis @Mark Arbour - I KNEW I recognized this style of writing. I should have known this was you. You really had me rolling in blissful levels of drama. The only thing I personally felt was unnecessary was Dave's non-familial feelings and that kiss. But that's just like saying I prefer cinnamon in my hot cocoa instead of powdered sugar, and has no real bearing on anything.

 

Thanks!  That scene was tough for me to write, but I felt it was important to show just how disconnected Tim was from the people in his life.  

16 hours ago, CassieQ said:

I root for Kyle.  My boy is going places.  

Your story was my favorite.  

[CassieQ]

10 minutes ago, Mark Arbour said:

Your story was my favorite.  

Thank you!  

[Mikiesboy]

18 hours ago, Thirdly said:

he Case of the Scallopini-ed Mayor @Mikiesboy - I really enjoyed this one. I personally think it would have been a stronger read in a chaptered format that was more fleshed out, as there were many parts that would have made killer cliffhangers. But I just recently turned a story in for a GA event that ALSO would have been a stronger read in a chaptered format that was more fleshed out, so this is like the pot calling the kettle black and should, therefore, be disregarded. 

Glad you enjoyed it. It could have been chapters long, but I wasn't writing a novel, just a short for Secret Author. I have other things going on and this was a last-minute decision.  I've seen calls for more from Detective Jules, I don't know, maybe.  I've done vampires, zombies, fairies, goats and salamanders, so potentially there will be more or perhaps not. We'll see what happens. 

I chuckled when there was some discussion about writing mysteries and detective stories and how to do that. Mysteries are not at all my thing, but you can do what i did and marry a detective.   He is useful sometimes. 

@BendtedWreath thank you. Your comments made me smile. I will see if i can get anything more out of Detective J. Ross.  Thanks again. 

[BendtedWreath]

10 hours ago, Inkognito said:

So, in conclusion:

I hear you.

I respect you.

I will change nothing.

...nicely said.

Edited August 12, 2025 by BendtedWreath

[Lee Wilson]

8 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

I've done vampires, zombies, fairies, goats and salamanders, so potentially there will be more or perhaps not. We'll see what happens. 

Salamanders? I hope my Creature Feature story that includes them is different. I'm pretty sure it will be though.

[Thirdly]

10 hours ago, Inkognito said:

But rest assured.

I will absolutely spiral about this during my regularly scheduled 2 a.m. existential crisis.

In a Snuggie.

Surrounded by emotional-support Cheetos.

And whispering “paragraph structure is a lie” into the dull glow of my laptop like the emotionally well-adjusted writer I clearly am.

As is tradition.

No no no! Gah. I was only provoking to get different views from everyone. It was really fine as it was, I swear. Making you spiral was not my intention at all. I'd have never commented or reviewed if I didn't love it. 

[Mikiesboy]

1 minute ago, Lee Wilson said:

Salamanders? I hope my Creature Feature story that includes them is different. I'm pretty sure it will be though.

I don't know. Mine are man-sized, walk on two feet and live in B.C.  Are they like that? 

[Thirdly]

Just now, Mikiesboy said:

I don't know. Mine are man-sized, walk on two feet and live in B.C.  Are they like that? 

Like fire elemental salamanders?

[Mikiesboy]

Just now, Thirdly said:

Like fire elemental salamanders?

Nope, not like that. 

[Cane23]

17 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

Glad you enjoyed it. It could have been chapters long, but I wasn't writing a novel, just a short for Secret Author. I have other things going on and this was a last-minute decision.  I've seen calls for more from Detective Jules, I don't know, maybe.  I've done vampires, zombies, fairies, goats and salamanders, so potentially there will be more or perhaps not. We'll see what happens. 

I chuckled when there was some discussion about writing mysteries and detective stories and how to do that. Mysteries are not at all my thing, but you can do what i did and marry a detective.   He is useful sometimes. 

@BendtedWreath thank you. Your comments made me smile. I will see if i can get anything more out of Detective J. Ross.  Thanks again. 

No wonder I thought it was written by @lawfulneutralmage, I totally picked up on that 'police' vibe!  Still, I was absolutely astonished to learn you are the author! Amazing mystery, amazing style - you're such a versatile writer, @Mikiesboy.

[Mikiesboy]

Just now, Cane23 said:

No wonder I thought it was written by @lawfulneutralmage, I totally picked up on that 'police' vibe!  Still, I was absolutely astonished to learn you are the author! Amazing mystery, amazing style - you're such a versatile writer, @Mikiesboy.

@lawfulneutralmage is a great writer. I enjoy his work.  My Husband was a detective and is still with the police in another role, so I have a great resource.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. 

[BendtedWreath]

2 minutes ago, Cane23 said:

No wonder I thought it was written by @lawfulneutralmage, I totally picked up on that 'police' vibe!  Still, I was absolutely astonished to learn you are the author! Amazing mystery, amazing style - you're such a versatile writer, @Mikiesboy.

Same here. But I knew the SA event is for experimentation and entries are sometimes the complete opposite of the usual genre. Even then, this one was so different. 

[Cane23]

1 minute ago, BendtedWreath said:

Same here. But I knew the SA event is for experimentation and entries are sometimes the complete opposite of the usual genre. Even then, this one was so different. 

And you, my friend, supposedly not in a 'comedy mood', managed to write the most charming and uplifting love story. Care to explain yourself?

[Topher Lydon]

10 hours ago, Inkognito said:

I will absolutely spiral about this during my regularly scheduled 2 a.m. existential crisis.

In a Snuggie.

Surrounded by emotional-support Cheetos.

And whispering “paragraph structure is a lie” into the dull glow of my laptop like the emotionally well-adjusted writer I clearly am.

As is tradition.

You just descirbed my average morning, 3-4am start, one of those giant hoodie poncho things, and emotional support coffee....  

[CassieQ]

2 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

@lawfulneutralmage is a great writer. I enjoy his work.  

I'll second that.  So many talented writers joined in.