Timothy’s Terrible Prompt Stories - 5. Prompt 344 Why didn’t you just tell me that?

“Why didn’t you just tell me that?”

I shrugged, but Jasper wasn’t about to let go of the subject. He had asked the same question last night, about why I hadn’t told him I was in love with Eric. At the time, I’d brushed him off with a repeat of my conviction that Eric was straight, but this time he suggested that since I was obviously wrong, I had given up too soon. If I had told him, we would have been able to devise a plan together in order to find out whether Eric might be interested in me.

I admitted he was right, but Jasper had asked me once more why I kept my crush on Eric a secret from him. I finally gave him a direct answer.

“Jasper, the gay guy being secretly in love with a straight boy is such an awful cliché. And yet I didn’t want to give up hope about Eric. If I had told you, I knew you would either persuade me to try and ask him out, or even approached him yourself on my behalf. I was too scared of having my dreams shattered. Ehmm,” I blushed, “the dream of Eric wanting me to be his boyfriend and inviting me out on a date.”

To his credit Jasper didn’t laugh, but said, “Why didn’t you just tell me that?”

At my shrug he gripped my shoulder and forced me to look at him.

“Nelson, we’ve been best friends forever. I was the first person you came out to, and you were the only one I told about being scared shitless and in love with Carolyn. You were the one who convinced me to ask her out, and that she was interested. I owe you for getting us together, but even if I didn’t, I’d help you achieve your dreams, whatever they are.”

I hugged him, and Jasper calmly hugged me back. It’s one of the awesome things about him, being totally cool about hugging me; it’s no different from hugging his family, which they do all the time.

“Thanks, Jazz. I know I should have trusted you, and I probably would have caved sooner or later, even if Rob hadn’t dropped the bomb on me.” I let go of him and returned to my pacing between the window and the bed.

Jasper flopped down on the bed and began laughing. “Dude, you should have seen your face! I wish I had it on camera. The surprise when he walked up and asked the f-question, and later when Eric came over to apologize for his brother, and Rob turned round and suggested you ask Eric on a date. I don’t know who did the best imitation of a flopping fish: you or Rob after Eric punched him.”

“Yeah, yeah, very funny. But now Eric expects me to ask him on a date, so it’s going to be even more awkward if I can’t get up the courage to talk to him. Or even worse, he’s pissed at Rob because he doesn’t want to go out with me, but he’ll feel obliged to say yes.”

Jasper rolled his eyes. “No he won’t. All he has to say is that he doesn’t want to be out, so he can’t date you, even if he does like you. It’s the oldest line in the book: It’s not you, it’s me.”

“As if that’s going to make me feel any better; then I’ll be the pathetic guy with a crush on the closet case.”

I shook my head over the whine in my voice. This conversation was going nowhere. We’d been over the same ground last night, and there was nothing more to be said.

“Look, Jasper, let’s drop the matter for now. I didn’t see Eric in school today, and most likely I won’t see him tomorrow either. We should give him the weekend to cool down and think things over. If you really want to help, why don’t you ask Rob on Monday during baseball practice? You know, about what Eric has decided on coming out. But discretely, please!”

Jazz nodded. “Yeah, once we know if he’s out to his family and friends, you can start flirting with him to encourage him to invite you on a date.”

I was relieved that he agreed and started to ask what movie he wanted to watch. But suddenly he sat up and pointed at me. “Wait a minute; doesn’t Eric hang out with the ‘West Side Story’ couple? The guy Tony is in some of Carolyn’s classes, and his girlfriend is on the cheer-leading squad with her. I think Maria is a freshman, so maybe she has classes with Eric.”

I looked at him with suspicion. “Maybe, but what’s your point?” I had a feeling Jasper was hatching another one of his harebrained schemes, and I was right.

“I could ask Carolyn to ask Maria if she and Tony want to double date with us. Then if we meet during the lunch break to set something up, I could sort of hint at the fact that I’d like you to go as well, but you don’t have a date. Their reaction might show if they know about Eric being gay, and if we’re really lucky they’ll offer to set you up on a blind date with him.”

“Fuck, NO! There is no way I’m going on my first date with Eric with you and Carolyn and his friends watching. You know I hate crowds, and if I tried to talk to him in front of strangers, I’d get all tongue-tied.”

I decided not to mention the fact that I’d probably be tongue-tied in Eric’s presence with or without an audience. If we ever went on a date, I’d have to suggest a movie, so I could be silent and admire him in secret. Plus I might get a chance to hold his hand in the dark. Maybe even get a kiss…

“Hello, earth to Nelson! What are you thinking about? Must be something nice.” Jasper snickered, and when I looked at him, he gestured to the bulge in my jeans. Fuck. This happened every time I thought about kissing Eric.

I took a step forward and fell on the bed face-first next to Jazz. He lay back down, and I turned my head to look at him. He stared up at the ceiling, and neither of us spoke for a bit. Then Jasper summed up the game plan.

“So, we keep to our schedule for the weekend, and on Monday when we have baseball practice, I try to talk to Rob in private and ask him about Eric. Do you want me to suggest that he should tell Eric to invite you out?”

He glanced at me, I made a face, and he went on. “If he says Eric isn’t out yet, we do nothing. I’ll let Rob know you’re interested, but Eric needs to make the first move. If he says that Eric came out to his parents this weekend, we can start planning the next step. OK?”

“I suppose so,” I grunted.

“Cheer up, Nelson. One way or another, I’ll find a way to get you together with the blond freshman.”

Why did the thought of Jazz’s good intentions make me cringe?