The Cockney Canuck - 140. Chapter 140 Kiss and Tell

Daniel was already showered and dressed for school when I stumbled out of bed on Monday morning, twenty minutes before the bus was due.

“You should have woken me earlier.”

“I shouldn’t have to wake you up at all. You have your own alarm.” He had a point, but I wouldn’t admit it. I never bothered to use my alarm because my brother was usually so reliable. Now I was a mess, fighting with my clothes while he watched and laughed.

It was payback for his black eye, which looked much worse than it did the day before. I tried not to mention it, but the kids on the bus were ruthless. It was still a delicate subject, and I stared threateningly at anyone who offered a snarky comment while trying to play it down to my brother.

“It actually looks a lot better.”

“No, it doesn’t!”

“It’s really not that bad.”

“Can we not talk about it, please?” As he stared out the window, I turned my head to sneak a closer examination, but he saw my reflection in the glass. “Don’t look at it either!”

“Blimey, you must bruise easy.”

“I don’t wanna talk about it, okay? I’m going to the hospital after school if you wanna come with me.”

“Geez, it’s only a fucking black eye.”

“To see Nathan, dickhead!” He shook his head while I laughed at my misunderstanding. “Mom said we could visit him this afternoon.”

I was surprised. It seemed like a blatant contradiction of Don’s new rules, but it made no difference to me. I had already made up my mind to go anyway.

We agreed to meet when school finished, but I was hampered by an affectionate, Rory. He followed me out of our science class with an arm draped around my neck and his head on my shoulder. I didn’t mind him cuddling me, and no one else took much notice either, except for Miss Pringle. The school secretary rarely left the office, but when she did, she always seemed to catch me at an awkward moment.

I pushed him off when I saw her bearing down on us. “Hello, Miss Pringle.”

“You’re aware of the rules concerning inappropriate physical contact between students, Mister Taylor.”

“No.”

“Well, you should be. It’s in the student handbook.” She frowned at me and then gave Rory a look of disgust.

“But I wasn’t being inappropriate.”

“Rory’s never inappropriate,” I added. “Are you, Rory?”

“No.”

She knew we were laughing at her, and she held me in her stare before walking away. “If I catch you again, I’ll be forced to report you.”

“Don’t worry, Miss Pringle; you won’t catch us again.”

“She probably thinks I’m gay now,” said Rory, and I laughed. It was still an opinion shared by the majority of the kids in the school, but I didn’t want to break it to him. “Only last week, some boy called me a homo.”

“You should report him, but it doesn’t help when you try to shag me in the corridor.”

“I was just being friendly.”

“Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. But if you want to be friendly to me, we could go somewhere a little more private, like the boy’s washrooms. You can be friendly to me all you want in there.”

He pushed me and laughed. “That would be overfriendly. Anyway, I doubt if you could get away with something like that in those washrooms.”

“Oh, you definitely can.” I could see him looking at me from the corner of my eye as we walked towards my locker, and he must have noticed my faint smile.

“You're kidding me.”

“What?”

“You have, haven’t you?”

“Twice.”

“You're crazy. You could get expelled for doing that.”

“That’s what makes it so exciting, Rory. Don’t tell anyone, though. You're the only one who knows, other than the person I was with, of course, who shall remain anonymous.”

“Nathan,” he said confidently. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. But I’m never going to the washroom with you ever again.”

“Pity. That means you’ve had to suffer all the homophobia without reaping any of the benefits. I mean, you’ve done the difficult bit. The rest is just fun, fun, fun.”

He laughed, then pushed me away as I tried to grab his waist. “So, you think I should become a switch hitter like you then?”

“Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it, Rory, but I only swing one way.”

“Tell that to your girlfriend,” he said and giggled as he pointed at Stephanie. She was standing by my locker and smiled when she saw us approaching. “I’ll leave you two lovers alone to talk.”

‘Cheeky sod.’

“Hi, Stephanie. Are you waiting for me?”

“This is your locker, right?”

“It was the dents that gave it away, wasn’t it?” I opened it and threw in my science book. “I only did one of them.”

“I don’t care about your locker, Robbie. I still need to talk to you.”

“Well, I’m supposed to meet Daniel, but we can talk on the way if you want.”

She looked up and down the corridor. There were only a few stragglers left after the initial rush to leave the building. Most of the students were already outside boarding the buses.

“No,” she said. “Not in school. How about tomorrow, lunchtime, we can go for a walk somewhere?”

I waited for a punchline, but she was serious. “A walk?”

“Yes.”

“You want to go for a walk with me at lunchtime?”

“To talk.”

“And there’s no way we can do that indoors where it’s not minus something ridiculous?”

“I just don’t wanna be in the school, that’s all. Trust me.”

She looked agitated and most, unlike the carefree girl who I used to enjoy talking to. Something was still bugging her, but it wasn’t necessary.

“Look, Stephanie. I think I know what it is.”

She stared into my eyes. “No, Robbie, you don’t.”

I lowered my voice, even though no one could hear me. “Is it to do with the night we spent together?”

“Duh. Yes, but ….”

I put my hand up to stop her and smiled. I needed to show her I wasn’t annoyed.

“I thought so. I’m not stupid, you know. I kinda guessed.” I pulled on my coat, unable to keep a straight face, but she wasn’t amused. “It’s pretty obvious. It can only be one thing.”

She looked surprised, but it wasn’t rocket science.

“And you're okay with it?”

“Of course. Don’t worry. It won't affect me?”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure it will, Robbie!”

“You told someone, didn’t you?”

She shook her head. “No, Robbie. You don’t get it!”

“What’s this, a secret romance?” Nicola’s voice stopped her friend in mid-sentence and made me jump. “Have you got a thing for my brother, Steph?”

Stephanie looked worried, but I knew Nicola was only joking. I wanted to end the farce and clear the air, but I didn’t want to interfere in their friendship any more than I had already.

“We were only having a chat,” I said.

“I was joking, dork. I know she’s not interested in a loser like you. What’s up, Steph?”

“Nothing. Shouldn’t you be on the bus?”

“No, I’ve decided to go with Robbie and Daniel to visit Nathan.” She turned to me. “We’ve been waiting for you.”

“Sorry, it’s my fault,” said Stephanie. “I just wanted to ask Robbie something, but it’s not important. I have to go. See you both tomorrow.” Her eyes lingered on me much longer than necessary as she walked away, and it didn’t go unnoticed by my sister. She called after her friend, but Stephanie had already turned the corner. It was more strange behaviour from the girl who used to be so much fun, and I could almost read Nicola’s mind as she jumped to all the wrong conclusions.

“What’s going on with you two?”

“Nothing.”

“I don’t believe you. What was she doing at your locker?”

“I dunno. I think she wanted to talk to me.”

“Obviously, that’s why you arranged to meet when you thought I’d be on the bus.”

“You're crazy. I didn’t arrange to meet her.”

“What were you whispering about then. I could see you from the end of the hall. You weren’t just saying hello, Robbie.”

“Look, what happened between us, it was just the once. I don’t like girls in that way, and she definitely doesn’t like me. She’s embarrassed about what happened, that’s why she hasn’t told you. Now she’s scared people will find out.”

“I don’t blame her. I would be too.”

“Thanks.”

Nicola studied my face, but she still didn’t believe me. “You can tell me, you know. I don’t mind. I’ll keep it a secret.”

“There’s nothing to tell, I swear.” I zipped my coat as we headed downstairs past the place where I fell and bashed my head. Daniel was waiting just inside the double doors. When he saw me, he looked at his watch to let me know I was late, but we didn’t say a particular time.

“He was talking to his girlfriend,” said Nicola before turning to me. “I’ll find out, you know!”

*     *     *

Nathan had been in the hospital for over a week, and this was only the second time I had managed to visit him. I felt terrible considering how much time he spent by my side when I was in a coma, but I guess he didn’t have to deal with Don. We weren’t boyfriends anymore either, but whenever we got together, it always felt like we were, at least to me.

It was probably one of the reasons behind my unwavering loyalty. Plus, I just couldn’t picture him selling drugs. I spent a lot of time mulling over what was supposed to have happened, and the more I thought about it, the more convinced I became of his innocence. I was certain he was being framed.

“You're a patsy!” I exclaimed as I sat down with Daniel, but Nathan wasn’t impressed.

“That’s charming coming from you, queer boy!”

“No, I said a patsy. It means you're a sucker but not that kind of sucker. You’re being set up, taking the blame for something you didn’t do.” I laughed at his misinterpretation. “But, you're definitely queer.”

“What gave me away? Must have been when I was sucking your dick.” He poked his tongue at me, which suddenly looked a lot smaller next to his inflated lip, but made him no less kissable.

“You won't be able to do that for a while,” said Ginny, she was sitting in the corner reading a magazine and chewing gum. I gave her a smile and a wave, and she replied by blowing a pink bubble that matched her lipstick.

“I wasn’t planning on sucking his dick, thank you very much!” said Nathan before apologising to Daniel, who didn’t look at all comfortable with the topic of conversation. “Who gave you the black eye?”

“He elbowed me in the face,” said Daniel.

“It was an accident.”

“I thought I might have started a trend,” said Nathan, whose bruises were darker than the week before and more purple, but still very prevalent. “At least you guys are behaving more like brothers now. They used to be way too lovey. It was unnatural. I’m still convinced they were humping each other.”

“Probably still are,” said Ginny. She pulled a disgusted face, but Daniel just rolled his eyes at the accusation. I could already sense a division between the two best friends. Daniel was more reserved than usual. Seeds of doubt perhaps sowed by Don.

Whatever it was, it didn’t seem to affect Nathan, who was in a bullish mood and able to talk a lot clearer. He could move his mouth more freely, and much of the swelling had gone down. They were small but noticeable improvements that reflected in his jovial mood, but he showed signs of anguish when he heard Nicola’s voice in the corridor.

She was talking to Sue, whose shift had finished ages ago. I was hoping she had gone home, and Daniel’s expression said the same, but I should have known better. It reeked of interference by Don, and I wondered if this was one of the conditions for allowing us to visit.

Sue’s presence ensured half-an-hour of sanitised small talk, but it didn’t seem to bother Nathan.

“How did your date go?” he asked Daniel. “What’s her name again?”

“Ratana. It went okay.”

“Ooh, Daniel’s got a girlfriend,” said Nathan. “Maybe you’ll get married?” It was good to see him acting more like himself, and that day he had an audience. The girls on one side and the boys on the other with Ginny, rather aptly somewhere in the middle.

My brother was blushing. “I’m not getting married.”

“Sue’s gonna want grandchildren, you know. And she’s not getting any from Robbie, that’s for sure.” He turned to wink at me as Sue interrupted.

“Not at the moment, thank you. No grandchildren until I’m at least fifty.” She waved her finger at Nicola, who would have been most people’s favourite.

“Don’t look at me. I told you, I’m not having kids. They’re too much hassle.”

Nathan was enjoying himself. “That puts you under even more pressure, Daniel. You’d better start practising.”

Daniel looked horrified, but Nicola laughed.

“I can’t imagine my brother doing it,” she said. “Are you sure you know where to put it?” Her statement brought a ringing rebuke from Sue and a witty reply from Daniel.

“I’m the only boy around here who knows where to put it,” he said.

As Nicola, Daniel, and Ginny laughed, Nathan frowned and glanced at me. He looked like he was about to say something but changed his mind at the last second.

“It’s Valentine’s day next week,” said Nicola. “Maybe you’ll get lucky.”

Daniel was embarrassed. “Leave him alone,” said Sue, but Nicola was in a mischievous mood, and I was next in line.

“Got anything planned for Valentine’s day, Robbie?” She followed her question with a sickly grin, and I shook my head. “I thought you’d be seeing your new girlfriend.”

I rolled my eyes, but I could tell my sister was no longer joking. Stephanie’s strange behaviour had convinced her, and there was nothing Nicola hated more than being kept in the dark.

Nathan gave me an odd look before tugging on our heartstrings. “Well, I hope you all have a nice Valentine’s day,” he said. “I’ll be on my own as usual.”

He was a good actor, and there was genuine sadness in his long face that made it impossible not to feel sorry for him.

Sue tried her best to cheer up her patient. “Lorna thinks you're a sweet boy.”

I smiled. “You’ve stolen my girlfriend.”

“I know,” said Nathan. “You wouldn’t believe some of the things she’s done to me.”

“You mean like sticking a tube in the end of your willy?”

“She did the same thing to you, didn’t she?”

“Uh-huh. It’s a weird feeling, isn’t it?”

Nicola rolled her eyes. “Can we talk about something else?”

“It’s called a catheter,” said Sue. “And it’s nothing rude.”

“It sounds painful,” said Daniel.

“It is, and it hurts like fuck when they take it out.”

“Robbie, please. Not in the hospital.”

“Thanks,” said Nathan. “I didn’t need to know that.”

Sue threw me a look I had seen a million times before. “What? I was only warning him.”

My ex poked his tongue at me and smirked. “Anyway, the good news is I’m going home on Thursday.”

I turned to look at Daniel and wondered whether he was going to mention Don’s new rules. My brother looked nervous and uneasy but chose not to say anything. Maybe he was going to ignore his dad and find a way around it, but I got the feeling he just didn’t want to have to tell him.

I thought it was wrong of Don to put him in that position. It was a good indicator of how far my adopted father was prepared to go to get rid of Nathan. Their friendship meant nothing to him.

“How will you manage at home?” asked Nicola.

“My mom and sister will be there most of the time. I just can’t wait to get out of here; it’s boring.”

“Can you move your arms at all,” asked Daniel.

“A little. I can bend them, but it’s difficult to hold anything.” He demonstrated by lifting one arm, but his movement was slow and cumbersome.

“He’ll need to come back in a few weeks for some physiotherapy,” said Sue. “But there are some exercises he can do at home, which are important, aren’t they, Nathan?”

He didn’t share her enthusiasm but acknowledged her with a fake grin that made her laugh.

I found their interaction quite humorous and compulsive viewing. They had known each other for years, and it showed, but the roles had changed somewhat recently. Sue was the boss, and she mothered him, which he hated.

“He needs to work on his wrist flexors,” said Sue, and she went into nurse mode lifting his arm to demonstrate.

Daniel turned to me and giggled. “His wrist, what?”

“Wanking,” I whispered, and Daniel almost fell off his chair as he tried to stop himself from laughing.

Sue glared at us from the other side of the bed. “What’s wrong with them?”

Nicola rolled her eyes. “They’re being rude, Mom.”

I sat up straight and looked indignant while Ginny shook her head at me.

“If you do it two or three times a day,” said Sue. “It’ll stop your muscles from getting stiff.”

I looked at Daniel, and we burst out laughing. It was too funny to ignore, but Nathan wasn’t impressed. He knew why we were laughing, and I expect Sue also did, but behind the naughty giggles was a genuine problem.

Eight weeks was a long time for a teenage boy to go without the use of his hands, and there were some things a sister couldn’t do. I wanted to let him know, I was available to help out if needed, and I wasn’t all that concerned anymore by my brother’s potential absence: the less competition, the better. Daniel could be almost too helpful at times.

I was sure Ginny wouldn’t pose the same threat. She was unusually quiet, but her clothes made her stand out like a sore thumb in the bright hospital surroundings.

Sue was quick to pounce. “You must be Ginny,” she said, shifting her seat closer to the uncertain looking girl. Ginny smiled but looked a little zonked out. Anti-depressants probably. Sue would have noticed and made a mental note. I just hoped she wouldn’t grill her about her New Year's Eve party, and Daniel seemed to share my concern.

With Sue partially distracted, I was able to talk to Nathan, but he got in first and wasted the opportunity by asking me about my boyfriend.

“How’s Conner?”

“Conner?”

“He’s your boyfriend. You know, the good-looking miserable guy who doesn’t drink. The one you were arguing with at the party.”

It was a good description, and I knew Nathan was being kind, but I didn’t want to talk about Conner. “He’s fine,” I said and threw the question back at him. “So you haven’t seen Ryan then?”

“Ryan? You mean, Ginny’s cousin?”

“Yeah, the creepy looking guy.”

Nathan looked confused. “No; I haven’t seen him since the party, why are you asking about him?”

“I just thought, well, I dunno.”

“Well, you thought wrong. Look at my face. Do you think he would be interested in dating me?”

“You won’t always look like that,” said Daniel. “You're gonna get better.”

“He’s right,” I said. “Just because you got beat up, it doesn’t make you ugly. You're still sexy even with a few bruises, right, Daniel.”

My brother, unwilling to describe his friend as sexy, settled on good-looking, but Nathan refused to accept our compliments.

“I know you're trying to make me feel better, but I’m not stupid. I know what I look like. Maybe when I’m totally healed and have my arms back, then I’ll think about meeting someone, but that won't be anytime soon. I’ve learned my lesson, and I’m not interested in having a boyfriend anymore.”

I felt so sorry for him. He looked genuinely sad like he really believed no one was ever going to find him attractive again. Yet I would have gladly crawled into bed with him and kissed his fragile body from head to toe if I could have got away with it. I was on the verge of telling him but changed my mind when Sue stood up and told us we had to leave.

“But we’ve only just got here,” said Daniel, and he was right. It was more like a pit stop than a hospital visit. “Can we stay for a while and meet you at home.”

Sue, as usual, had a million things to do, including picking up Amy from her friend’s house, but there was no reason why we had to go with her, and much to my surprise, common sense prevailed.

“I suppose it won't hurt,” she said. “But not too late and behave yourself.”

I didn’t like the way she looked at me when she said that, but she didn’t seem too concerned about leaving us alone in the company of a suspected drug dealer. I got the impression she disagreed with Don’s assessment and was finding it difficult to implement his draconian rules.

Before she left, Sue gently patted Nathan on the head, and he gave her a smile, which he generally reserved for close friends and family. It was a cultivated look of innocence that belied his real character, and Sue must have realised this, but when he put on the charm, it was hard to dislike him.

When Sue and Nicola left, Ginny followed them out to have a smoke, leaving just us boys. Nathan seemed more relaxed, but my brother looked nervous. He glanced at me, and I nodded to let him know he should say something.

“What is it?” asked Nathan.

“My dad doesn’t want us to be friends anymore.”

Nathan smiled. “So, what’s new?”

“I know, but this time he said I’m not allowed to see you at all.”

I watched Nathan’s eyes as they started to mist over. “It’s okay; I expected him to do that. It’s no big deal. I feel sorry for you, Daniel. I’m sorry you have to have such an asshole for a dad.”

I silently agreed but felt awkward eavesdropping on their conversation. I was sure they didn’t want me there, so I told them I had to use the washroom and made a hasty exit.

Seeing Nathan upset on top of everything else he was dealing with made me hate Don more than ever. He was kicking him when he was down—trying to take away his best friend at a time when he needed him more than ever. I growled and punched the wall, then yelled in pain. I was rubbing my knuckles when I left the washroom and bumped into Ginny. She was about to go back into Nathan’s room when I pulled her aside. There was something I needed to ask her.

“How long has Nathan been using drugs?”

“Why don’t you ask him?”

“Because I don’t think he’ll tell me the truth.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t ask. What makes you think I’m gonna tell you?”

“I thought you were his friend. You're supposed to care about him.”

“What are you a cop all of a sudden or a social worker?”

“I wanna help him, Ginny. I’m worried.”

“Well, you don’t need to be. Nathan was just having some fun; it’s not like he was taking them all the time. But he wasn’t selling them. The cops will try to pin it on him because it makes them look like they’re cleaning up the town, and Nathan’s the perfect fall guy. You know that, right?”

I nodded. “Then we have to stop them.”

Ginny laughed at my naivety. “Right, so what’s your plan, Batman? You think you can beat them? Maybe you can pay for a fancy lawyer.”

“I wouldn’t be able to get my hands on that much money.”

“I thought you were supposed to be loaded.”

“Who told you that?”

“I heard rumours in school that you were a millionaire or something.”

I scoffed. “Well, whoever told you that doesn’t know shit. I have investments and a property in England, but it’s in a trust fund, and I can’t touch any of it until I turn eighteen.”

“Oh, I feel so sorry for you. You have to wait another year-and-a-half before you're rich. That’s so sad. I wish I had your problems.”

“I won’t be rich, Ginny. It’s not gonna make me a millionaire or anything, and you wouldn’t want my problems.”

“You're kidding me, right? Your life is easy. You lost your real parents. I get it, so did I. Big deal. I’m sorry your mom died, but it’s not like you're on the street. You have a comfortable life, a nice house, someone to cook for you and do your laundry. You have new clothes, a fancy phone you don’t have to pay for, and more money than you can probably spend. Fuck me; you even have a property in England. So your stepdad or whatever he is is an asshole. They usually are, but I bet he isn’t raping you?”

“No, of course not.”

“I didn’t think so, and he probably isn’t selling your sweet little ass to his friends to pay off his gambling debts either, or beating the shit out of you if you dare to complain.” She spat the words out like poison, then smiled condescendingly to a middle-aged couple who passed us in the corridor before continuing in a hushed voice. “I would gladly swap my life for yours.”

‘Shit!!!’

I was rarely lost for words, especially when it came to the usually slow thinking Ginny, but on this occasion, she beat me hands down. I didn’t dare ask, but it sounded like she was talking from experience. Nathan told me she had a bad childhood with an abusive stepdad who was now in prison, but if what she said was true, then it was worse than anything I could have imagined.

When I looked into her eyes, they were cold and emotionless. Not a tear in sight. Ginny was as hard as nails, and she had every right to lay into me. In comparison, my life was a walk in the park. I was a fake, and we both knew it.

I had put a lot of effort into cultivating my own bad boy type brand based mainly on my exaggerated misfortune. Orphan was a powerful word that I embraced and used as often as I could. It conjured up all kinds of harsh Dickensian type disadvantages and excused my behavioural problems, but legally it no longer applied. The adoption robbed me of my greatest handicap, and my act was starting to wear thin.

Ginny was right. My life was easy. Even in England, it was easy—with the possible exception of the final few months of my mom’s illness. It was difficult emotionally, and I spent a lot of time on my own, but we were never poor, and I had no concept of financial hardship.

“I know I’ve been lucky, Ginny, but you can’t make comparisons. You're the most fucked up person I’ve ever met; everyone’s gonna look lucky compared to you.” I took a precautionary step back while she tried to work out if I was making fun of her. “How come you know so much about me?”

“Nathan tells me everything, and you're his favourite topic.”

I snapped my head towards her and made her jump. “I am?”

“Ginny laughed. “Kinda eager all of a sudden, aren’t ya? Maybe you really do wanna get back into his pants. What’s up, doesn’t Conner satisfy you?” She shuffled closer to me and stared into my eyes. Her breath smelled of tobacco, and she looked tired and worn out.

“No, he doesn’t. What do you mean I’m his favourite topic?”

“Forget it. You're an asshole. You had your chance at the party. I was even gonna let you use my house to fuck, but you turned up with farm boy instead and ruined everything. I thought you wanted to get back with Nathan. None of this would have happened if you had done what I told you.”

“You think it’s my fault that he got beat up?” I was troubled by her accusation that I was somehow responsible for Nathan getting hurt.

“No, it was my fault. When he told me he was meeting someone at the Palm Springs, I thought it was you. I even drove him there and booked the room for him. I wouldn’t have left him on his own if I had known he was seeing someone he met online.”

I failed to understand Ginny’s twisted logic, but I was a sucker for punishment.

“Did Nathan know you were trying to get us back together at your party?”

“No.”

“Well, has he told you he wants to get back with me?”

“Not exactly.”

“Then how can you be so sure?”

“I’m guessing.”

‘Guessing?’

I should have known better. Only an idiot would believe what Ginny had to say or try to engage her in a serious conversation. I was glad I didn’t make a fool of myself by confessing my undying love for Nathan at the party.

“If you finished asking questions, I’d like to get back and spend some time with my friend.” She stared hard at me before walking away in the opposite direction to Nathan’s room. I let her go thinking she had a reason, but she was back at my side before I reached his door.

“Why didn’t you tell me I was going the wrong way?”

“I thought you knew.”

“I’m usually unconscious when they bring me in here.”

Daniel and Nathan were laughing when we walked in, and it looked like they were still friends. I hoped for Nathan’s sake that Daniel would ignore his dad and continue to see his friend. It was, after all, a rule that was entirely dependent on Daniel’s co-operation. There was no way Don would be able to monitor his whereabouts.

“Did you get lost?” asked Nathan. “You’ve been gone for ages.” He turned to Daniel. “Maybe they’re having an affair.”

“I really don’t think so,” scoffed Ginny. “He’s not my type.”

While I wasn’t too upset to discover I didn’t meet Ginny’s criteria, I was still curious to find out who did. I had never seen her with a partner, male or female, and now I was wondering if this was a result of the abuse she suffered. It seemed likely, and it all tied in with her ongoing battle with depression, and the fact that she was still heavily reliant on Jo.

Conner dismissed Ginny as a loser and thought I was making a mistake by having her as a friend. She wasn’t an easy person to like, and I wouldn’t have bothered trying if it wasn’t for Nathan, but I was beginning to understand her a little better.

When we left, I kissed Nathan on the cheek and asked him if he wanted me to collect anything from the school.

“It’s okay, Daniel’s gonna bring me what I need, and my family will take care of everything else. It’s sweet of you to ask.”

My brother looked sheepishly at me, and I smiled. If he was prepared to defy Don’s orders to ferry Nathan’s homework, then their friendship was still intact. It was good news for Nathan, and it should have been good news for me because it meant Don’s plan was doomed to fail. Yet deep down, I wasn’t happy. It felt like I was being excluded from Nathan’s life, with no excuse to see him again until he returned to school. Providing he wasn’t expelled in the meantime.

*     *     *

On Wednesday, while my brother was out romancing his girl, I was back on Skype. I had promised my boyfriend some naughty fun to take his mind off his problems with the farm, and I made sure he wasn’t disappointed. Sex with Conner was becoming almost too easy and made even more convenient by Daniel’s blossoming relationship with the girl whose name I could never remember. But when it came to the real thing, I wasn’t so keen.

“Don’t forget you're helping us fix the roof at the weekend.”

I cursed under my breath as I remembered. “Of course, I haven’t forgotten.”

“Cool. It’s Valentine’s Day next Tuesday; maybe we can do something special.”

“Are you into that kinda thing?”

“Of course, aren’t you?”

“Oh, yeah. Me too. I can hardly wait.”

“You think it’s dumb, don’t you?”

“No, it’s just every day with you is like Valentine’s day. I mean, you're always romantic. You never stop trying to jump me.”

“I think you may be getting confused, Robbie. Romance doesn’t always involve sex. I’m not sure you get what it’s all about, but I’ll try to explain it at the weekend.”

Conner was wrong. I knew enough about romance to realise it was all about feelings and being around someone you loved. I didn’t love Conner or have any feelings for him, and when I thought about it, I wasn’t convinced I ever would.

It seemed like such a farce when the boy who I genuinely did have feelings for would probably be spending the weekend indoors alone and feeling sorry for himself.

Conner was waving at me on the screen. “What’s wrong, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I was just thinking about something.”

“You look upset. Did I say something wrong?”

“No, Conner.” I put on a fake smile and then told him I had to go when I heard Daniel jogging downstairs. He must have sneaked in because I didn’t hear him, and I didn’t have time to cover my tracks.

After confessing my internet activities to my brother at the weekend, I didn’t want him to see me talking to a bare-chested Conner on Skype. At least I was dressed, but it wasn’t difficult to work out what we had been doing.

Daniel looked at us and laughed, but he wasn’t interested in our sordid antics, and when I noticed the goofy smile on his face, I began to understand why.

I hit the keyboard and replaced Conner with a blank screen. Then swivelled my chair to give my brother my undivided attention.

“How did your date go?”

“Great. It was fantastic.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing. Just stayed indoors.”

“Stayed indoors, huh?” I watched my brother suspiciously as he stripped down to his boxers while fighting to hide a lopsided grin that I hadn’t seen on him before. “What’s so great and fantastic about that? What did you do indoors?”

This was the point where he would usually tell me to get lost, but his stupid smirk was begging me to dig deeper. Like he badly wanted me to find something out.

“You know, stuff,” he said.

“Stuff. That’s cool. I do stuff all the time. Are you sure you weren’t poking her?”

“What? No! What makes you think that?” He tried to hide behind a serious expression, but the corners of his mouth were creeping skywards, and his cheeks were bright red. “What does poking mean anyway?”

“Sex.”

“Oh.” He turned away, unable to conceal his happy face. “Will you promise not to tell anyone?”

I jumped up from my chair. “Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really,” he giggled.

“Was that your first time?”

“Yes.”

“Congratulations. Was it better than you thought it would be?”

“Probably.” He sat on his bed, but he didn’t look tired. “No, definitely.”

“Haha. That’s so cool. Did whatshername enjoy it?”

“Ratana, you mean. I think so. She sounded like she did.” He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “We did it twice.”

My brother wasn’t the type to kiss and tell, but he was too excited to keep it to himself, and I guess I was the obvious choice. He made me promise not to mention it to anyone else, and I gave him my word, but I was sure he had nothing to worry about. Sue may not have approved of her little boy having sex, but I knew from experience that Don would be ecstatic. A son he could be proud of and secretly encourage to sow his seed, just like his old man.

*     *     *

My brother had waited patiently for a chance to dip his wick, and now it seemed like he was trying to make up for lost time. When I walked into the kitchen the following morning, he was asking Sue if he could go to his girlfriend’s house straight from school.

Sue was in a rush; trying to make a lunch for Amy, who was following her around the kitchen.

“As long as you're back before nine,” she said.

I smiled at Daniel and sat down next to him to whisper. “Blimey, you can’t get enough, can you?”

He made sure Sue was out of range before explaining. “I’m not really going to Ratana’s house. I’m going to see Nathan. He’s going home today, and there are some books and stuff he wants me to get from his locker.”

I thought it was a cool thing to do, but I suspected there was more to it than that. Daniel was probably itching to spill the beans to his best friend, and I couldn’t blame him.

“It’s rude to whisper, boys,” said Sue. She handed Amy her lunch before ushering her to the door.

“It would be even ruder if we didn’t,” I said, but Sue was already darting back to the kitchen to answer the phone.

We still had a few minutes before our bus, but Nicola already had her coat on when she walked over to flick the hair from my eyes.

“That’s better,” she said. “You wanna look your best for Stephanie.”

Daniel looked confused. “Stephanie?” he mouthed to me, but I shrugged it off and stared at my sister as she sat opposite him and waited for her mom to finish talking on the phone.

“What are you looking so happy about?”

“Nothing.”

My brother looked nervous under the scrutiny of his sister, but Sue spared him further interrogation when she interrupted us with some good news.

“That was the police,” she said. “They found Alex and Luke."